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Just tell me which UNIX command you would use to get instructions on a program and deny that this isn't intentional.

That's fixed. See: http://laughnet.net/politically-correct-unix-p-172.html

http://www.laughnet.net/archive/compute/winedlin.h tm

And since FreeDOS has an edlin-compatible edlin, it's possible to port it to *nix, use it in an xterm window, and middle-click paste into it. Of course, why one would want to go through something as painfully esoteric as that when vi and vim are so much better is beyond me, but still quite possible. :D

"We immediately recognized this as a great opportunity for ourselves, our channel partners, and especially our customers," explained the excited Ballmer to a room full of reporters. Immense video displays were used to show images of the new customizable BSOD screen side-by-side with the older static version. Users can select from a collection of "BSOD Themes," allowing them to instead have a Mauve Screen of Death or even a Paisley Screen of Death. Graphics and multimedia content can now be incorporated into the screen, making the BSOD the perfect conduit for delivering product information and entertainment to Windows users.

The BSOD is by far the most recognized feature of the Windows operating system, and as a result, Microsoft has historically insisted on total control over its look and feel. This recent departure from that policy reflects Microsoft's recognition of the Windows desktop itself as the "ultimate information portal." By default, the new BSOD will be configured to show a random selection of Microsoft product information whenever the system crashes. Microsoft channel partners can negotiate with Microsoft for the right to customize the BSOD on systems they ship. Major computer resellers such as Compaq, Gateway, and Dell are already lining up for premier placement on the new and improved BSOD.

Ballmer concluded by getting a dig in against the Open Source community. "This just goes to show that Microsoft continues to innovate at a much faster pace than open source. I have yet to see any evidence that Linux even has a BSOD, let alone a customizable one."

(Copied from here.

We just need to find more creative ways to generate electricity.

good one. try this.

good lord... where were these guys when john bobbit was in need?

I would like to know how the doctors measured the "stiffness" of the bunny member after the procedure. What exactly is the "unit' of measurment used? I suppose they could use torque to see at what point the angle of the dangle ceases to remain static. Here are a few other methods of really measuring stiffness.

I'm glad that I didn't go into the medical field -- how do you explain to your wife or husband that you were playing with erectile tissue all day at the office.

Windows 95 can be a major problem when working with a newbie who still thinks that the mouse is a "foot pedal" like that on a sewing machine (yes it's true, I actually had a call like that). (emphasis added)

I don't believe you. I've heard the same story from many people who claimed it happened to them when they worked the support lines. This is almost a urban legend of sorts. A search on Google turns up the same story all over the place.

http://www.cyberspaceplace.com/nightbeforepgrm.htm l
http://www.mathstat.usouthal.edu/humor.html
http://eserver.org/cyber/befuddle.txt
http://www.laughnet.net/archive/compute/helpme.htm
http://www.auricular.com/TST/tst1.html
http://www.elsop.com/wrc/humor/truetech.htm

**** The Fish License Sketch ****
**** Transcribed 4/18/87 from Monty Python's Previous Record ****
Man (Cleese): (whistles a bit, then) Hello. I would like to buy a fish
license, please.
Postal clerk (Palin): A what?
Man: A license for my pet fish, Eric.
Clerk: How did you know my name was Eric?
Man: No, no, no! My fish's name is Eric. Eric the fish. He's an halibut.
Clerk: What?
Man: He is an halibut.
Clerk: You've got a pet halibut?
Man: Yes, I chose him out of thousands. I didn't like the others, they
were all too flat.
Clerk: You must be a loony.
Man: I am not a loony. Why should I be tarred with the epithet 'loony'
merely because I have a pet halibut? I've heard tell that Sir Gerald
Nabarro has a pet prawn called Simon - you wouldn't call him a loony!
Furthermore Dawn Pathorpe, the lady showjumper, had a clam called
Stafford, after the late chancellor. Alan Bullock has two pikes, both
called Chris, and Marcel Proust had an 'addock! So if you're calling
the author of 'A la recherche de temps perdu' a loony, I shall have to
ask you to step outside!
Clerk: All right, all right, all right. A license?
Man: Yes!
Clerk: For a fish.
Man: Yes!
Clerk: You *are* a loony.
Man: Look, it's a bleeding pet, isn't it? I've got a license for me pet
dog Eric, I've got a license for me pet cat Eric.
Clerk: You don't need a license for your cat.
Man: I bleedin' well do and I've got one! Can't be caught out there!
Clerk: There is no such thing as a bloody Cat License.
Man: Yes there is.
Clerk: No there isn't.
Man: Is!
Clerk: Isn't!
Man: I've bleedin' got one, look! What's that then?
Clerk: This is a dog license with the word 'dog' crossed out and 'cat'
written in in crayon.
Man: The man didn't have the right form.
Clerk: What man?
Man: The man from the cat detector van.
Clerk: The loony detector van, you mean.
Man: Look, it's people like you what cause unrest.
Clerk: What cat detector van?
Man: The cat detector van from the Ministry of Housing.
Clerk: Housing?
Man: It was spelt like that on the van. I'm very observant. I've never
seen so many bleedin' aerials. The man said their equipment could
pinpoint a purr at four hundred yards, and Eric being such a happy cat
was a piece of cake.
Clerk: How much did you pay for this?
Man: Sixty quid and eight for the fruit-bat.
Clerk: What fruit-bat?
Man: Eric the fruit-bat.
Clerk: Are all your pets called Eric?
Man: There's nothing so odd about that. Kemel Attaturk had an entire
menagerie called Abdul.
Clerk: No he didn't.
Man: Did!
Clerk: Didn't!
Man: Did, did, did, did, did and did!
Clerk: Oh all right.
Man: Spoken like a gentleman, sir. Now, are you going to give me a fish
license?
Clerk: I promise you that there is no such thing. You don't need one.
Man: In that case give me a bee license.
Clerk: A license for your pet bee.
Man: Correct.
Clerk: Called Eric? Eric the bee?
Man: No.
Clerk: No?
Man: No, Eric the half bee. He had an accident.
Clerk: You're off your chump.
Man: Look, if you intend by that utilization of an obscure colloquialism to
imply that my sanity is not up to scratch, or even to deny the
semi-existence of my little chum Eric the half bee, I shall have to
ask you to listen to this. Take it away, Eric the orchestra-leader.
Eric Idle: A one, two, a one two three four!
Man (sings): Half a bee, philosophically, Must, ipso facto, half not be.
But half the bee has got to be Vis a vis, its entity. D'you see?
But can a bee be said to be Or not to be an entire bee
When half the bee is not a bee Due to some ancient injury?
Singing.
Chorus: La dee dee, one two three,
Eric the half a bee. A B C D E F G, Eric the half a bee.
Man: Is this wretched demi-bee, Half-asleep upon my knee,
Some freak from a menagerie? No! It's Eric the half a bee!
Chorus: Fiddle de dum, Fiddle de dee, Eric the half a bee.
Ho ho ho, tee hee hee, Eric the half a bee.
Man: I love this hive, employ-ee, Bisected accidentally,
One summer afternoon by me, I love him carnally.
Chorus: He loves him carnally, Semi-carnally.
Man: The end.
Clerk: Cyril Connolly?
Man: No, semi-carnally!
Clerk: Oh.
Chorus: Cyril Connolly. (Whistle end of tune.)

There isn't anything else that needs to be said about this one.