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> Practically nothing !nothing.

No, but it *is* practically nothing.

> And a camera that goes off in your pocket because
> there's a stupid blister-style button on the side will negate all your vaunted
> "camera is off" time.

Mine's never gone off in my pocket for two reasons - 1) it's in a case, and 2) the N70 has a sliding plastic cover over the lens, exactly like a lot of cameras do. Handily, this'll activate the camera even if the phone is `locked`, and when you slide it closed the phone goes back into locked mode. Also, the camera functionality will turn off if you don't take a picture after a minute or so.

> it was actually the bulkier of the phones in its series owing to being dual-band

Most phones in the UK now are tri-band, and are no larger for it.

> I haven't seen any phones with cameras that were slimmer or lighter than that
> one.

Plenty of phones are. Here's one a friend has:
http://www.phoneyworld.com/handsets/specs.aspx?pho ne=nokia_6230i

> I have seen smaller phones, but they start to get rediculous, especially when
> the microphone isn't actually anywhere near the mouth.

So you don't approve of bluetooth earpieces then? Why would you want a phone where the microphone is near your mouth? Before you say either "so people can hear what you're saying" or "so you don't get ludicrous amounts of background noise" I'd suggest you check out a modern phone or bluetooth earpiece, as that isn't an issue any more. I've spoken to people who were using that stuff while they were by a busy street in New York and I thought they were calling from their hotel room.

> the keep putting color screens on them for some reason also.

Presumably so you can view the colour photograph/video you've just taken, or have a half-decent user interface, or play a decent game (I'm writing one for my phone right now).

Keep trying to prove that modern phones aren't any good though - it's amusing, and I've kept my first, old, shitty black and white brick with poor battery life and no radio/mp3 player/java/camera/triband etc just in case you manage to convince me...and the rest of the market.

Practically nothing !nothing. And a camera that goes off in your pocket because there's a stupid blister-style button on the side will negate all your vaunted "camera is off" time.

This was my all-time favorite phone ever: http://www.phoneyworld.com/handsets/phone.aspx?pho ne=Sanyo_6200

It probably wasn't the all-time best phone, and it was actually the bulkier of the phones in its series owing to being dual-band, but dual-band enhances the utility of the phone part by allowing you to use it in more places. I haven't seen any phones with cameras that were slimmer or lighter than that one. I have seen smaller phones, but they start to get rediculous, especially when the microphone isn't actually anywhere near the mouth. and the keep putting color screens on them for some reason also.

a few grams, when something is measured in grams, (the 6200 is 75 grams according to the link) is not insignificant.

Personally, I'd really like a phone that emphasized reception, battery life, tactile feedback for the keypad rather than looks, handset construction and a real cradle over all the crap (camera, color screen, fancy ringtones, digital audio playback) that you can't buy a phone without these days.

Something like a Samsung N200 which I had but broke down on me after just shy of 3 years of service and abuse.

I've found N200s on ebay but nothing in decent condition. I'd be overjoyed if I could buy a brand new phone with the same function and design for a reasonable price.

Nah, what they need is to do away with the earphones, as they are the most offensive part of the glasses. Since the earpieces of the glasses are directly over the ears, one (or both) should use technology like this: http://www.phoneyworld.com/newspage.aspx?n=1419

Now if they could make THAT as small as an eraser head I'd be all over it.