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Artificial Lung in the Works
StudMuffin writes "The University of Michigan Medical Center announced that an artificial lung that uses tiny hollow fibers and the heart's own pumping power to oxygenate blood is showing promise in pre-clinical studies, and may reach clinical trials in about a year for lung failure patients awaiting a lung transplant."
Mr. Frump In The Iron Lung
by Al Yankovic
Lyrics:
I visit Mr. Frump in the hospital
I see him most every day
And when I see Mr. Frump in his iron lung
This is what I hear him say
(deep breathing)
Y'know, Mr. Frump is my very best friend
He's never a chump or a tease
He never tells me lies, and best of all
He never disagrees
I bring him candy and flowers every afternoon
Sit down by his side and say "Hi"
And then I ask him his opinion of the world situation
And I wait for Mr. Frump's reply, and Mr. Frump would say
(deep breathing)
Well, unfortunately, soon it came to be
Mr. Frump's dying day
And now I bring to you the very last thing
That Mr. Frump had to say....
(deep breathing, that fades and dies off)
Amen
First AND second post?
I'm a tobacco smoker, and have been for many years. Yeah, it's a filthy habit, and bad for you, and stinks and whatever, but I happen to enjoy it.
Lots of people tell me "you'll die of lung cancer!", to which my standard reply is "by the time I get lung cancer, I'll be able to buy new lungs at the seven-eleven!".
I have many other witty counterarguments, but the one people seem to like best (especially women) is "My Body, My Choice!"
But I'm glad to see I may be able to purchase those lungs at some point. Rather not have cancer, rather not quitting smoking either.
Life is good.
Wolfe.
Well, I guess it was just a matter of time. Now we have artificial hearts (pop-up warning), artificial lungs, and artificial kidneys. (I mean that we as a society have them available to us as a technology, not that we as individuals actually have those things inside us, though some of us no doubt do.)
How long before we also have artificial skin to hold our artificial hair? How long before we decide what to put in our artifcial stomachs with our artificial brains?
The human race is about to step aside to make room for the cybernetically enhanced. May God have mercy on our souls. My one request is that none of my organs run anything made by Microsoft. See you in the future.
Karma: Good (despite my invention of the Karma: sig)
....and allow them to stay healthy enough to remain at the top of the transplant list
Is this where it all starts? Seems whoever can pay for the good stuff will get the organs. Oh well, hope my HMO's covers this device, cause with my 3 pack a day habit I will need a new set of lungs in a few decades.
Yes, for 1,000,000 Marborough Miles, you can get your own set of cyber lungs.
Simply insert a pack into the reloadable cartridge and enjoy your Class A cigarretes all day long.
Before I part with'em: two pennies weigh ~4.996+/-0.014g, have a zinc core, and the face of Lincoln. You can keep 'em.
I can see this being a real asset for heart transplants... Currently, what they do is reroute the blood from the heart and lungs into what is commonly called a "heart and lung machine." (Duh.) It's a massive thing, roughly the size of a refrigerator. It replaces the functions of the heart and lungs during the operation, although (IIRC) with a continuous flow of blood instead of intermittent pulses, as is natural.
Having some nice, functional artificial lungs would be a real asset. Certainly reduce the need for bulky machinery.
Soylens viridis homines es
Or, at least have a greater need for it!
Do you even lift?
These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.