Space Chimps Retire

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Posted by Hemos on Tuesday September 24, 2002 @11:51PM from the moing-on-in-life dept.

jukal writes ""With a $3.7-million grant and a court ruling, Florida's Center for Captive Chimpanzee Care last week took over a primate-testing facility in New Mexico that houses 266 lab chimps, including 16 Air Force animals descended from the first space chips.", read the rest at Discovery."

25 comments

Min score:

Reason:

Sort:

Forced migration? by Green+Light · 2002-09-25 00:02 · Score: 1, Troll

I hope that these New Mexico chimps aren't forced to move from their comfy homes in NM and go to Florida. I'm sure PETA will be up in arms over this! Oh, the inhumanity!

--
"Send an Instant Karma to me" - Yes
1. Re:Forced migration? by bgins · 2002-09-25 00:45 · Score: 2, Interesting
  
  This is about confinement, isolation, and deprivation (of things to do). Not a nice prospect for an up to 50 years lifespan. It is indeed very sad.
  I recall an account of how some "primitive" (African tribal) people, when imprisoned, committed suicide or died of no apparent reason. The account I read was in Marie-Louise von Franz but may well have come from Laurens van der Post (1 2). Supposedly they thought that they had lost their soul and so had nothing more to live for.
  I guess chimps are perhaps fortunate or at least different in that they don't experience a "loss of soul". I wonder whether any of them have died in captivity for no apparent medical reason: if they had, it might show a frightening similarity between chimps and humans, i.e. that chimps' "consciosness" is closer to humans than we think. Of course, I am NOT condoning this kind of cruelty!!
2. Re:Forced migration? by Icculus · 2002-09-25 02:18 · Score: 1
  
  Ok, I know you're just trolling, but for all of those folks out there for whom this is your subconscious knee-jerk reaction, go out and pick up this book: Next of Kin written by Roger Fouts, one of the bigwigs at the above mentioned chimp rescue squad. Even if you aren't into that type of thing it's a fun read and I guarantee you'll come away with a different perspective on chimps (and animal testing labs).
3. Re:Forced migration? by Green+Light · 2002-09-25 02:49 · Score: 1
  
  not trolling, just warped humor...
  
  --
  "Send an Instant Karma to me" - Yes
4. Re:Forced migration? by Icculus · 2002-09-25 03:35 · Score: 1
  
  fair enough, I'll retract my scarlet T
Why retire ? by Anonymous Coward · 2002-09-25 00:04 · Score: 1, Funny

I guess they could still find a job as slashdot editors ?
1. Re:Why retire ? by Domini · 2002-09-25 02:00 · Score: 2
  
  Now, now...
  
  I'm sure chips can't spell better than Slashdot editors!
  
  -sigh-
2. Re:Why retire ? by Conare · 2002-09-25 02:59 · Score: 2
  
  When asked to comment about the chips, a PETA spokesperson said, "I bet you can't eat just one!"
  
  --
  Stop Continental Drift! Reunite Gondwanaland!
3. Re:Why retire ? by Anonymous Coward · 2002-09-25 05:17 · Score: 0
  
  That depends...
  
  If you have an infinite number of them typing on an infinite number of typewriters, they're quite likely to churn out better spelling that your typical /. editor, or any other American, for that matter.
In other news... by Fyz · 2002-09-25 02:02 · Score: 2, Funny

... The Florida Center for Captive Chimpanzee Care purchased the largest amount of typewriters from an undisclosed source ever, shortly before they announced that they were indeed attempting to write the greatest book, *ever*. (sorry, it was just so obvious)
1. Re:In other news... by !splut · 2002-09-25 04:11 · Score: 2
  
  Inside sources reveal that the ape sweathouse is working on a script for FOX's remake of Return to the Planet of the Apes. This is double the number of talentless, smelly simians as were used to hammer out script for the first, Tim Burton directed, PoA remake.
  
  --
  The angel in the oatmeal.
2. Re:In other news... by uk_greg · 2002-09-25 04:50 · Score: 1
  
  So is it time for the obligatory "Imagine a beowulf cluster of these!" comment?
3. Re:In other news... by Anonymous Coward · 2002-09-25 11:26 · Score: 0
  
  Well, we all know from that Simpsons episode that they came back from space super-inteligent.
4. Re:In other news... by Pathwalker · 2002-09-25 13:22 · Score: 2
  
  I thought that they were working on movies instead.
  
  After all, chimps have been writing books, and coding for a long time. They need to move on to something new...
Glad they can now retire by Vuzz · 2002-09-25 04:29 · Score: 2, Insightful

I'm always outraged when I get to hear these types of stories about mistreated animals. I can't help thinking that if they were humans, they would have been rescued a long time ago... Just animals some would say. It does not make it less painful because they are "just animals". Whether it is toward animals or humans, cruelty remains cruelty. Period. I, for one, am very glad to know there are still people who care enough to rescue these poor chimps among which some have risk their lives so we can go headed with the space program. What was their reward? A tiny cage and some chimps chow... It's just my personal opinion and I don't expect everyone to share it. V.
1. Re:Glad they can now retire by ChaoticLimbs · 2002-09-25 13:07 · Score: 1
  
  Would you kill a chimpanzee if doing so would give you the knowledge needed to save a child from leukemia? How about 3 million children then? Medical and scientific researchers are human beings. They do in fact name their higher research subjects such as chimps. Rabbits aren't so lucky, but chimps are generally not mistreated for cruelty's sake. Higher animals such as pigs, chimps, bonobos, orangutans, horses, etc are generally well treated in research labs. Their lives are not deliberately wasted. Obviously there would be no scientific value in deliberately killing an animal with a known cause. Sometimes they are killed in order to complete the research with an autopsy, but even this is done painlessly. Nobody out there is injecting 500ccs of household bleach into a chimp to see if it kills him. Research in these animals is more similar to injecting a chimp with 4cc of a supposedly safe substance in order to find the largest safe exposure level. Chimps in these experiments are fed a varied diet of bananas, carrots, breads, meats etc. In order to reduce the effects of the confinement. It protects the experiment from unknowns. They're not kept in tiny cages in most labs. They're certainly worse off when some enviro-animal rights terrorist burns down their lab, drops them off in some more wild habitat and abandons them. I've seen clusters of white rabbits huddling in fear in the open near a highway because some eco-goof decided that they had magically become wild creatures. The poor rabbits had no idea what to do. The coyotes, cars, and owls picked them off. That was wonderful especially because several of these animals carried diseases. Diseases that may not be common in that area of the country yet. Brilliant wackos.
2. Re:Glad they can now retire by Anonymous Coward · 2002-09-26 10:12 · Score: 0
  
  Would you kill a chimpanzee if doing so would give you the knowledge needed to save a child from leukemia? How about 3 million children then?
  
  Hell, I'd kill a human or two off for that, but you won't see other people getting behind that. I guess that's why I'm posting AC.
heh by spaten-optimator · 2002-09-25 05:34 · Score: 1

"Maybe we should finally tell them that the monkeys we sent into space came back super-intelligent!"

"No, I don't think we'll be telling them that."

--

--
Disclaimer: The above statement probably includes half-truths, because real truth is too complicated.
oo ohh eee iii oohhh by Anonymous Coward · 2002-09-25 05:34 · Score: 0

ohh ohh ohh ah ohh oh ahh eeeee!

WhatMeWorry!
It would be nice by Oriumpor · 2002-09-25 07:26 · Score: 1

To know any of the long term effects on humans/(close genetic cousins) to know how colonies might fare on the moon (or man made orbital installations) in the future.

We will do it some day, might as well have some research data now.
no evolving monkeys for the future then... by JofCoRe · 2002-09-25 09:28 · Score: 1

If they're retiring all the space-monkeys, how are we ever going to accidentally create a planet ruled by highly evolved apes?

Or is this a pre-emptive move from somebody who took planet of the apes too seriously....?

--

Place sig here.
Deja Vu by ChaoticLimbs · 2002-09-25 12:56 · Score: 1

There was a movie called Project X that had exactly this plotline. Wierd. You remember, Ferris Beuller was in that one.
1. Re:Deja Vu by Anonymous Coward · 2002-09-26 06:38 · Score: 0
  
  Matthew Broderick
Someone give them a compiler... by SysKoll · 2002-09-25 13:19 · Score: 2

Fellow Linux lovers, this is our chance.
Yes, dear devout followers of the Penguin, now is our historical opportunity to prove, once and for all, that 200 monkeys banging on 200 keyboards can produce a better OS than Windows 2000!
We need to send them keyboards now. What's their address?

--
--
Mad science! Robots! Underwear! Cute girls! Full comic online! http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/
If all the worlds a stage... who's watching? by Proquar · 2002-09-25 23:03 · Score: 1

The retired space monkeys?

--
---- *dog sitting next to a computer, with his beady eyes shifting left to right*