Slashdot Mirror


Ancient DNA

PyroX_Pro writes "An interesting read over at the BBC says that 400,000 year old DNA has been found. The DNA has been broken into tiny pieces, so there is little chance of bringing any of the species back from the dead. "Soil frozen into the ice has also yielded fragments of DNA of large prehistoric animals, including the woolly mammoth, reindeer and musk ox" "Cloning is in our view impossible at this stage. You'd need the whole DNA and you would have to constuct a primitive cell to put the DNA in," added Mr Gilbert. " Sure he says that now, but they may find a way to splice it with other DNA, and then, well you all saw the movies..."

39 comments

  1. That's how it always starts. by presearch · · Score: 4, Funny

    Then later there's running and screaming.

    1. Re:That's how it always starts. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      and profit!

    2. Re:That's how it always starts. by Jerdie · · Score: 1

      Remind me to thank john for the lovely weekend(good Malcolm from Jurassic Park)

      --
      Programming is simply the application of logic to creativity
    3. Re:That's how it always starts. by AssFace · · Score: 1

      sounds like when I used to go on dates

      --

      There are some odd things afoot now, in the Villa Straylight.
  2. Reindeer DNA by TaraByte · · Score: 1

    Everyone knows that you can find some at the North Pole.

    On an interesting side note, reindeer is one of the few words that doesn't follow the "I before E except after C"

    --
    Security is inversely proportional to the commitment of one desiring to circumvent it.
    1. Re:Reindeer DNA by Rick+the+Red · · Score: 0, Offtopic
      "I before E except after C"
      "What a weird rule." -- Albert Einstein
      --
      If all this should have a reason, we would be the last to know.
    2. Re:Reindeer DNA by Mr.+Slippery · · Score: 0, Offtopic
      On an interesting side note, reindeer is one of the few words that doesn't follow the "I before E except after C"

      There are many exceptions if you don't use the complete rule:

      I before E
      Except after C
      Or when sounded as A
      As in "neighbor" or "sleigh"

      "Reindeer" of course being a "sounded as A" case.

      There are still enough exceptions - "weird", "seize", "caffeine", "protein", "either", "height" and so on - that some people say the "rule" is nothing of the kind and should be thrown out.

      --
      Tom Swiss | the infamous tms | my blog
      You cannot wash away blood with blood
    3. Re: Reindeer DNA by Black+Parrot · · Score: 1

      > On an interesting side note, reindeer is one of the few words that doesn't follow the "I before E except after C"

      From Usenet:

      There is, I believe, a simple mnemonic rule for getting the spelling of such words correct. It goes something like "I before E except after C or in absenteeism, Aeneid, agreeing, albeit, Alexei, Anaheim, Andrei, aniseikonic, atheism, atheist, atheistic, atheists, Bahrein, beige, Beijing, being, beings, Beirut, Bernstein, Blenheim, Bodenheim, Bodleian, bodyweight, Boeing, Brandeis, Budweiser, Budweisers, caffein, caffeinated, caffeine, Cassiopeia, codeine, counterfeit, counterfeited, counterfeiter, counterfeiting, Creighton, decreeing, deify, deign, deigned, deigning, deigns, Deimos, Deirdre, Deirdres, deities, deity, deoxyribonucleic, disagreeing, dyeing, Einstein, Einsteinian, Epstein, eyeing, Fahrenheit, Fahrenheits, featherweight, feign, feigned, feigning, Ferreira, Fischbein, fleeing, Fleischman, Fleisher, foreign, foreigner, foreigners, foreigns, forfeit, forfeited, forfeiture, freeing, freeings, Freida, freight, freighted, freighter, freighters, freighting, freights, Geiger, Geigy, geisha, Goldstein, guaranteeing, Guggenheim, heavyweight, Heidegger, Heidelberg, heifer, height, heighten, heightened, heightening, heightens, heights, Heine, Heinlein, heinous, heinously, Heinrich, Heinz, Heinze, heir, heiress, heiresses, heirs, Heisenberg, Heiser,herein, hereinafter, heterogeneity, Heublein, Holstein, homogeneities, homogeneity, inhomogeneities, inhomogeneity, Janeiro, Keith, Klein, Kleinrock, kneeing, Leibniz, Leiden, Leigh, Leighton, Leila, Leipzig, leisure, leisurely, Liechtenstein, lightweight, Lorelei, Madeira, Madeleine, Marseilles, McNeil, Meier, Meiji, Meister, Meistersinger, monotheism, neigh, neighbor, neighborhood, neighborhoods, neighboring, neighborly, neighbors, Neil, neither, nuclei, nucleic, Oneida, O'Neill, Oppenheimer, Oresteia, outweigh, outweighed, outweighing, outweighs, overseeing, pantheism, pantheist, paperweight, Peiping, Perseid, pharmacopoeia, plebeian, Pleiades, Pleistocene, polytheist, Pompeii, Poseidon, preinitialize, preinitialized, preinitializes, preinitializing, protein, proteins, queueing, Raleigh, Rayleigh, refereeing, Reich, Reichenberg, Reichstag, Reid, reign, reigned, reigning, reigns, Reilly, reimbursable, reimburse, reimbursed, reimbursement, reimbursements, rein, reincarnate, reincarnated, reincarnation, reindeer, reined, reinforce, reinforced, reinforcement, reinforcements, reinforcer, reinforces, reinforcing, Reinhard, Reinhardt, Reinhold, reinitialize, reinitialized, reinitializing, reins, reinsert, reinserted, reinserting, reinserts, reinstate, reinstated, reinstatement, reinstates, reinstating, reinterpret, reinterpreted, reinterpreting, reinterprets, reintroduce, reintroduced, reintroduces, reintroducing, reinvent, reinvented, reinventing, reinvents, reiterate, reiterated, reiterates, reiterating, reiteration, Rheims, Rheinholdt, ribonucleic, Rosenzweig, Schneider, Schweitzer, seeing, Seidel, seismic, seismograph, seismology, seize, seized, seizes, seizing, seizure, seizures, Sergei, sheik, Sheila, shoeing, sightseeing, Silverstein, simultaneity, sleigh, sleighs, sleight, sovereign, sovereigns, sovereignty, spontaneity, Steinbeck, Steinberg, Steiner, Taipei, their, theirs, therein, Thorstein, unveil, unveiled, unveiling, unveils, veil, veiled, veiling, veils, vein, veined, veining, veins, Wallenstein, Wei, Weibull, Weider, Weidman, Weierstrass, weigh, weighed, weighing, weighings, weighs, weight, weighted, weighting, weights, weighty, Weinberg, Weiner, Weinstein, weird, weirdly, Weisenheimer, Weiss, Weissman, Weissmuller, wherein, Wisenheimer, Wittgenstein, Zeiss, accuracies, adequacies, agencies, ancient, anciently, ancients, autocracies, bankruptcies, bioscience, bureaucracies, coefficient, coefficients, concurrencies, conscience, consciences, conscientious, conscientiously, conspiracies, constituencies, contingencies, currencies, decencies, deficiencies, deficiency, deficient, delicacies, democr

      --
      Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
  3. Punctuation by WWWAvenger · · Score: 1
    "Cloning is in our view impossible at this stage..."

    Anyone else notice the terrible lack of punctuation in this article?

    1. Re:Punctuation by shrikel · · Score: 2, Funny

      Lack of punctuation what lack of punctuation?

      --
      Any sufficiently simple magic can be passed off as mere advanced technology.
  4. Poor devils... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    They didn't even dig out that DNA properly, yet they already have cloned beasts in mind...

  5. Gene sequencing/splicing by Rick+the+Red · · Score: 1
    I thought the way the Human Genome project worked was by breaking our DNA into lots of small bits and sequencing them in parallel, then putting those sequences together in a computer. How is the "broken" nature of this old DNA different from our intentional "breaking" of DNA for other sequencing projects? After it's sequenced, can the "broken" parts be re-connected in a computer? Once we know the sequence, can't we then make new copies in the lab? Sure, using that new DNA will be tough, but I thought someone was already working on cloning a Mammoth using Elephant eggs. Why would these other animals be any different, if we could find a suitible host "mother"?

    The one thing Jurassic Park never explained was how they made the dinosaur eggs. Putting the DNA in the egg would be simple compaired with that.

    --
    If all this should have a reason, we would be the last to know.
    1. Re:Gene sequencing/splicing by !splut · · Score: 3, Informative

      Excellent point; I was going to say something to that effect myself. Modern DNA sequencing techniques involve digesting or shredding massive genomic pieces of DNA into small fragments, in the neighborhood of 300 - 700 base pairs in length. The reason for this lies with the sequencers, which can only get a maximum of around 700 base pairs of reliable data per run.

      Sequences of the resulting fragments of DNA are used to reconstruct the entire genome based on the overlap between sequenced fragments. Overlap and a certain degree of redundency, in fact, is necessary as a form of error checking, as sequencing methods have an inherant error rate.

      So, if these prehistoric DNA fragments overlap sufficiently, it is theoretically possible for their sequences to be used to reconstruct an entire genome.

      However, a bigger concern might be damage to DNA. DNA, like all biological molecules, suffers a certain degree of degredation over time due to high energy radiation, exposure to free radicals, normal biochemical processes (such as nucleases present in the original cell, or secreted by microbes in the environment), etc. There are biochemical mechanisms in living cells that continually work to repair these damages, but in a dead, frozen cell those systems would not be present, and the DNA would just accumulate damage. Such damage can inhibit or introduce large error into sequencing attempts, so it is possible that the original sequence of the DNA can never be recovered.

      --
      The angel in the oatmeal.
    2. Re:Gene sequencing/splicing by nobody69 · · Score: 3, Informative

      I thought the way the Human Genome project worked was by breaking our DNA into lots of small bits and sequencing them in parallel, then putting those sequences together in a computer.

      When scientists do sequencing on DNA, they use enzymes that cut the strands at specific sequences (frex: an enzyme will 'look' for the sequence ATGCCGTAATCGA and cut the strand so you get a segment that ends ATGCCGTA and one that begins ATCGA) so you you get known beginning and ending points. Also since the DNA strands are complementary you know that if one side of the double helix has the ATGCCGTAATCGA sequence, you also know that the other has TACGGCATTAGCT. Which helps with making sure that you are connecting your cut strands in the right order. If your strands are broken into too many small pieces in a random pattern it's much harder to put them back together again. It's the difference between re-assembling an Encyclopedia Brittanica that has been cut between each article and one that has been run through a cross-cut shredder.

      The one thing Jurassic Park never explained was how they made the dinosaur eggs.

      They called the FX department. ;)

      --
      "Bugger this, I want a better world." - Jenny Sparks
    3. Re:Gene sequencing/splicing by barakn · · Score: 1

      DNA can be made from scratch, but the longer the sequence the more errors will be in it. Thus you can make a polio virus but not an elephant. IT is much better to start with whole segments of DNA.

      --
      "I'm so moist I'm sticking to the leather." -Kermit the Frog on The Late Late Show
    4. Re:Gene sequencing/splicing by Radical+Rad · · Score: 1
      However, a bigger concern might be damage to DNA. DNA, like all biological molecules, suffers a certain degree of degredation over time

      But in a chunk of tissue there would be billions or trillions of strands which were originally identical. They would not be damaged in the exact same way. It seems logical to me that if many different samples of these damaged strands were sequenced then statistics could be used to filter out the damaged portions from each individual sample and build a map of the original. Although I have read many times things like, 'the DNA has been broken into tiny pieces, so there is little chance of bringing any of the species back from the dead' I think it is only a matter of time.

      And on that note, what would be the ethical implications if in 50 years time we had the opportunity reconstruct the DNA from a Neandertal? They were not our ancestors, but were a super intelligent branch of the ape family that made tools and used fire yet had little culture. Would it be wrong to resurrect one of these creatures and study it and encourage it to reach its full potential? I am guessing that everyone would agree euthanasia and autopsy should be ruled out, but what legal rights would be appropriate?

    5. Re:Gene sequencing/splicing by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      I'm a biochemist, and in some respects, this is true. Longer stretches of synthesized DNA will have tend to have more errors than shorter stretches.

      But even with something the size of polio, you could never make it in one go. What they do instead is make it in short sections (about a 1000 base pairs at most), and then piece it together. If you proof read the small sections before assembling them, you can eliminate virtually all errors. There are also techniques you can use to correct errors after the fact (site directed mutagenesis).

      The reason noone can make an elephant from scratch is (a) The elephant genome hasn't been sequenced yet. (b) the elephant genome is probably over 30 Mb [i.e over 30 000 individual segments - figure (optimistically!!!) 0.5 person-week to synthesize, clone and proofread each segment, plus 0.5 weeks to concatente 2 segments, you have 30 000 person-hour of work in the best case senario, or 82 person-years of work. (Not to mention the millions of dollars of spent) And for what? Synthetic elephant DNA. What good would that do you? ]

    6. Re:Gene sequencing/splicing by astafas · · Score: 1

      "But in a chunk of tissue there would be billions or trillions of strands which were originally identical. They would not be damaged in the exact same way. It seems logical to me that if many different samples of these damaged strands were sequenced then statistics could be used to filter out the damaged portions from each individual sample and build a map of the original."

      Add in a correction system in living cells and wham, a cure for cancer.

    7. Re:Gene sequencing/splicing by BCGlorfindel · · Score: 1

      They would not be damaged in the exact same way. It seems logical to me that if many different samples of these damaged strands were sequenced then statistics could be used to filter out the damaged portions from each individual sample and build a map of the original.

      The problem with this is that the estimated rate of damage leaves little to no trace of the original sequence after about 10k years. You'd basically be looking for a statistical link between millions of cells with completely random sequences(because they'd been damaged so completely).

    8. Re:Gene sequencing/splicing by Radical+Rad · · Score: 1

      But if they are all damaged that completely then I wouldn't think the researchers would even say that they found DNA, for example from a mammoth. It must retain much of the structure or it would be like saying they found a tree everytime they hit a layer of ash in the sediment.

      And yes it would be just like looking for a statistical link between millions of samples with partially damaged structures. But that is what computers are great at. The problem I think is in sequencing the millions of samples. Maybe it wouldn't take that many? But techniques are constantly improving and so is computing power.

    9. Re:Gene sequencing/splicing by BCGlorfindel · · Score: 1

      But there is a difference between finding DNA in a 100k year frozen Mammoth corpse, and in million year old dinosaur fossils.

    10. Re:Gene sequencing/splicing by Radical+Rad · · Score: 1

      True. We'll probably never find DNA that old. But wouldn't it be great to bring back the Dodo bird? All reports said that it tasted delicious. Mmmm Dodo bird.

  6. Haven't you heard the song? by Eye+of+the+Frog · · Score: 3, Funny
    "Sure he says that now, but they may find a way to splice it with other DNA..."

    Haven't you ever heard that song by Loverboy? Pig and elephant DNA just won't splice.

    --no sig is good sig

    --
    "Sexy Man" is not a moderation option. -- arose
    1. Re:Haven't you heard the song? by n1ywb · · Score: 1

      Or in this case pig and mammoth DNA :)

      --
      -73, de n1ywb
      www.n1ywb.com
  7. Interesting, but ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    there are several German and German rooted words and names on that list, which is kind of a cheat since German is consistent in that regard. One of the few grammatical rules that I loved when learning German is that when any word is pronounced with a long "i" sound, it is always spelled with an "ei" and when any word is pronounced with a long "e" sound, it is always spelled with an "ie". Since my mind was already overflowing with things such as trying to remember which of 3 genders a given noun was (rarely intuitively obvious) and the 4*3 matrix that one has to know to remember which gender dependant form of the word "the" (der, die, das, dem, den ...) to use, the solid ie/ei rule came as a great relief.

  8. Yes, it's all good fun until someone loses an eye! by leonbrooks · · Score: 1

    ...then, of course, it's a professional sport.

    --
    Got time? Spend some of it coding or testing
  9. Try 65,000,000 years - in real life! by leonbrooks · · Score: 1

    The fossil from Hell... er, Creek, Montana. Big silence on this one ever since, which is possibly significant in itself because definite indications of contamination would have to have been published somewhere.

    Preserving something as frail as an organic macrostructure over as much as 1% of that timespan is of course well beyond impossible, so the fact that it appears to have happened should be telling us something important about our leading assumptions.

    --
    Got time? Spend some of it coding or testing
    1. Re:Try 65,000,000 years - in real life! by pyr0 · · Score: 1

      "Preserving something as frail as an organic macrostructure over as much as 1% of that timespan is of course well beyond impossible..."

      Says who? Remarkable preservation of fossils...even soft bodied organisms (Burgess Shale for one...and that is in *much* older rocks), does occur. I don't find it so hard of a stretch that the conditions for burial and preservation were such that the entire bone did not become mineralized and left some traces of blood cells.

      "...so the fact that it appears to have happened should be telling us something important about our leading assumptions."

      You mean that the entirety of geology is completely wrong because we "assume" the Earth has been around for 4.6GA? Does it not matter that multiple age dating techniques have produced, within error, the same dates when the proper assumptions are not violated? Does it not matter that all of this has been peer reviewed and accepted as good and proper science?

    2. Re:Try 65,000,000 years - in real life! by BCGlorfindel · · Score: 1

      Says who? Remarkable preservation of fossils...even soft bodied organisms (Burgess Shale for one...and that is in *much* older rocks), does occur. I don't find it so hard of a stretch that the conditions for burial and preservation were such that the entire bone did not become mineralized and left some traces of blood cells.

      Says the majority of the scientific community. There is a huge difference between fossil preservation of basic structures and preservation of actual organic matter. Laboratory observation of DNA break down suggests 10k years as the upper limit beyond which it will have completely broken down. Even under extra-ordinary preservation circumstances the longest survivability I've seen suggested is 100k years. Preservation over a million years is simply not expected.

      Accordingly Dr. Horner, the researcher who found the above t-rex 'red blood cells' is unconvinced that any protein remnants exist. The explanations and counter-arguements for what it actually is still aren't conclusive last I heard. I don't believe anyone close to the project though currently admits/believes that DNA can be extracted from their sample. Discovery of million year old DNA would be, to say the least, unexpected. Molecular biology suggests it as a near impossibility.

      You mean that the entirety of geology is completely wrong because we "assume" the Earth has been around for 4.6GA? Does it not matter that multiple age dating techniques have produced, within error, the same dates when the proper assumptions are not violated? Does it not matter that all of this has been peer reviewed and accepted as good and proper science?

      To play devil's advocate here, he could be referring to other assumptions than the age of the fossils. Yes it sounds like that is the most likely assumption they refer to, but assumptions about DNA decay rates are another possible reference. If those assumptions were somehow wrong, Jurrasic Park style DNA recovery might not be so impossible anymore. Though personally I'd be rather... surprised.

    3. Re:Try 65,000,000 years - in real life! by pyr0 · · Score: 1

      "Says the majority of the scientific community. There is a huge difference between fossil preservation of basic structures and preservation of actual organic matter. Laboratory observation of DNA break down suggests 10k years as the upper limit beyond which it will have completely broken down. Even under extra-ordinary preservation circumstances the longest survivability I've seen suggested is 100k years. Preservation over a million years is simply not expected."

      I completely agree actually. All I was trying to say was that I don't see why some traces of the blood cells themselves may have been preserved. I didn't say that actual DNA could be preserved for so long, although perhaps I should have made that more clear.

  10. All of geology does not hinge on one assumption! by leonbrooks · · Score: 1
    You mean that the entirety of geology is completely wrong because we "assume" the Earth has been around for 4.6GA?

    Surprisingly little geology is entirely reliant on a precise (or even vague) age for the Earth. All that matters for a great many things is the order in which things happened, not the time they took to get that way.

    For the remaining few, circumstances there are some substantial hints in the field (e.g. paraconformities, massive undisturbed polystratic fossils, rapid paleomagnetic reversals, awesome flood erosion) and in the lab (e.g. conflicting interpretations for dates, rates, ratios and embedment scenarios) that there are great and appropriately cavernous gaps in our understanding of geology.

    --
    Got time? Spend some of it coding or testing
  11. Bass ackwards by leonbrooks · · Score: 1
    Remarkable preservation of fossils... even soft bodied organisms (Burgess Shale for one...and that is in *much* older rocks), does occur.

    This unfortunate stream of reasoning goes as follows:

    1. I believe that this piece of rock is X years old; and
    2. This rock contains remarkably preserved fossils including organic matter; therefore
    3. I believe that organic matter can survive intact for X years.

    4. All that you really know is that a certain stratum contains well-preserved organic material. Nobody was there scratching off days on a calendar or even a cave wall (-: and to scratch 65Ma worth of days you'd need one motherous huge cavern, some serious scaffolding, and a good supply of nice hard scratchy rocks :-). A heck of a lot of initial assumptions are simply guesses, and dating contradictions are far more common than agreements. A manifestation of this can be found in the constantly spreading "ranges" of marker fossils like Ammonites.

      Observations of decaying organic matter suggest that 100ka is really pushing your luck WRT finding the veriest scrap of intact flesh. This is but one measuring-rod which suggests that Velikovskian catastrophes are more a feature of our planet's past than many people have hoped (for another, look at the biggest feature on Mars).

    --
    Got time? Spend some of it coding or testing
    1. Re:Bass ackwards by pyr0 · · Score: 1

      Actually, I wasn't referring to the actual preservation of the original organic material, but to the preservation of the appearance of the material (in other words, is it a fossilized red blood cell?)

  12. Re:All of geology does not hinge on one assumption by pyr0 · · Score: 1

    "Surprisingly little geology is entirely reliant on a precise (or even vague) age for the Earth. All that matters for a great many things is the order in which things happened, not the time they took to get that way."

    Oh how wrong you are. The basic concepts of geology (rock types, relationships, etc) do not necessarily depend on the age of the earth. However, in most research done on real world applications, the exact date of an event is very important. As they say, timing is everything. This is why most people doing research in igneous rocks always obtain radiometric and/or paleomagnetic age dates. People doing research on sedimentary rocks always have very good biostratigraphic control. The reason this is important is so that correlation to events of a known age is possible. For example, say I have a lead-zinc mineralization event that I'm trying to find a cause for. Well ok...one of the most important things to do is get an estimate on the date of mineralization, and then see if there are any local or regional tectonic and/or magmatic events of known ages that may have had an effect.

    "For the remaining few, circumstances there are some substantial hints in the field (e.g. paraconformities, massive undisturbed polystratic fossils, rapid paleomagnetic reversals, awesome flood erosion) and in the lab (e.g. conflicting interpretations for dates, rates, ratios and embedment scenarios) that there are great and appropriately cavernous gaps in our understanding of geology."

    "Hint" 1: Paraconformities are just an unconformity of parallel strata...I don't see what the "problem" is with these.

    "Hint" 2: What polystratic fossils are you talking about? Just because the style of deposition changes doesn't mean all new critters have to start living there.

    "Hint" 3: The earth's magnetic field does reverse from time to time. It is recorded in parallel bands to the mid oceanic ridges of known ages...oh wait, can't argue that since you don't think the earth is that old anyway.

    "Hint" 4: What flood erosion do you speak of? The best example I can think of is ancient Lake Bonneville, of which the Great Salt Lake is the last remaining bit. You can still see the wave cut terraces out in Utah and Nevada. Again, the age of this has been well documented.

    As for your "problems" with lab geology, 99% of the time when age dates do not match up so well, there is a very good reason why. For example, a fluid flow or low grade metamorphic event may reset one isotopic system, but not another. Also, weathered rocks will have their isotopic systems screwed up compared to unaltered rocks (this violates the most important assumption of maintaining a closed system anyway). If *careful* sampling is done, the dates almost *always* agree. When I say careful, I mean things like selecting completely unaltered samples, or abrading zircon grains to remove the possibly altered outer layers to get at the surely unaltered core.

    Anyway...in conclusion, I really don't think there are really too many "great and appropriately cavernous gaps in our understanding of geology" at all that can't be explained by good fundamental science.

  13. Blood! by leonbrooks · · Score: 1

    AFAICT, they're actual platelets, with genuine organic material in them, not fossil (ie not mineral-replaced objects or outlines). The dude in charge of the lab that discovered them (a student saw them under a microscope) has bent over backwards to find a suitable reptilian source of contamination, without success. Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction. (-:

    --
    Got time? Spend some of it coding or testing
  14. paraconformity, polystratics, paleomagnetics etc by leonbrooks · · Score: 1
    Surprisingly little geology is entirely reliant on a precise (or even vague) age for the Earth. All that matters for a great many things is the order in which things happened, not the time they took to get that way.

    The reason this is important is so that correlation to events of a known age is possible. For example, say I have a lead-zinc mineralization event that I'm trying to find a cause for. Well ok...one of the most important things to do is get an estimate on the date of mineralization, and then see if there are any local or regional tectonic and/or magmatic events of known ages that may have had an effect.

    I assert that the dates don't need to be correct to do this, just consistent. Unfortunately, IRL you get very little of either. (-:

    For example, if two strata are correctly identified as "Carboniferous", it doesn't really matter for purposes of comparison whether they're umpty squillion years old or were laid down during Olmec times.

    Paraconformities are just an unconformity of parallel strata

    No, a paraconformity is where you would expect to see a conformity, but there isn't one. The word has also come to mean "a difficult-to-detect unconformity".

    What polystratic fossils are you talking about?

    Everything from little shells a few inches across striking through tens of millions of years' worth of strata to large trees striking through tens of meters of strata, neither with any evidence of having been intruded (e.g. incongruous turbulence in the strata above or below).

    The earth's magnetic field does reverse from time to time. It is recorded in parallel bands to the mid oceanic ridges of known ages...

    Unfortunately for that idea, there are several more plausible explanations for those magnetic bands. Again, the ages of the ridges are assumed, and then correlated. If you do your history, you'll notice that the claimed ages have been completely revised a number of times, and I expect they're a long way from finished doing that yet.

    The field reversals I actually had in mind were paleomagnetic signatures in large areas of cooling lava that show either huge rock units or the poles rotating dramatically on a scale of minutes to hours.

    What flood erosion do you speak of?

    Bretz's "Spokane Floods" would be one example, but even today meltwater in far northern Canada can eat away ranges on riverbanks at a rate of meters an hour.

    As for your "problems" with lab geology, 99% of the time when age dates do not match up so well, there is a very good reason why.

    Yes, including many that you've not cited here. One has to wonder, if there are so many ways of explaining anomalies, how one decides whether a reading is anomalous or not. How would you decide?

    --
    Got time? Spend some of it coding or testing