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Log On To Your Computer By Laughing At It

Posted by timothy on from the and-reboot-by-swearing dept.

pshanks writes "New Scientist reports that Scientists at Monash University in Melbourne, Australia, are using laughter recognition software to track and automatically log staff onto the computer nearest to them as they physically move around a networked building."

50 comments

  1. How to get yourself to laugh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    I log in each morning by clicking here. It has yet to fail getting a laugh from me.

  2. I wouldn't want to work there... by lightspawn · · Score: 4, Funny

    Imagine hearing your coworkers laughing every few minutes with no apparent reason...

    Especially the ones who need to open a dozen remote sessions when they start working.

    1. Re:I wouldn't want to work there... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Wouldn't a tape recorder defeat this "security" ??

  3. This is the example they used... by BrookHarty · · Score: 3, Insightful

    For example, the system could be used to follow an executive as they walked through an office, ensuring that their email was always available on the nearest computer.

    Thats what blackberry and other PDA's are for. Maybe you havent been in a office lately, but everyone has cubes, with people sitting at the computers. Execs are either in meeting rooms are on the go, not around peoples work spaces. Thats the problem with companies, good products, wrong utilization.

    I'd like to see this at a call center with 100 people in a room, all on headseats. Imagine all the people's computers switching around. ;)

    1. Re:This is the example they used... by AssFace · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Offices are setup that way because of the limits of the computer.

      With the ability to use any computer to do any of your work would change the way the office is used, and therefore why it is interested.

      Granted, you could do this now just by logging in normally, but the non-computer types of a company aren't going to get it.
      They need something they can walk up to and just use - they won't bother with anything more.

      To say that something won't ever work or catch on because of the current way you do something is nearsighted.
      Should we switch to those new motorized coaches? Hell no! The way we do it now is with horses, and those motorized coaches scare the horses!

      --

      There are some odd things afoot now, in the Villa Straylight.
    2. Re:This is the example they used... by Jellybob · · Score: 2, Insightful
      Granted, you could do this now just by logging in normally, but the non-computer types of a company aren't going to get it.
      They need something they can walk up to and just use - they won't bother with anything more.

      Why won't they get it? You just say to them "you can use your username and password to login at any computer, and use it like the one in your office".

      We have people here who've never touched a networked computer in their life before, and they can comprehend the idea of "whichever computer you're sat at, you're files will be at as well".
    3. Re:This is the example they used... by AssFace · · Score: 1

      Being a computer person myself for as long as I can remember, it is hard for me to imagine how they do or don't get things.

      That said, I have an office full of people that barely grasp sitting at their desks and logging into the network.
      To then tell them that they can roam about and do the same thing would assuredly lose at least half of them and they would likely spend the rest of the day doing things that would never even occur to me - rebooting things, unplugging devices - I will never understand these people.

      --

      There are some odd things afoot now, in the Villa Straylight.
    4. Re:This is the example they used... by Jellybob · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Are you sure you're in fact not assigned to an ape training facility?

      The people I'm referring to here vary from the technically proficent, to never having touched a mouse in their life (since we're an IT training centre), and they all seem to comprehend the idea that it doesn't matter which computer they sit at.

      I dunno, maybe it's that very inexperience that does it... they don't see any reason why they *shouldn't* be able to use any computer.

    5. Re:This is the example they used... by AssFace · · Score: 1

      That is a good point - perhaps having no experience at all pretty much makes anything seem possible.

      These people have learned how to do their specific tasks and if anything changes, they just kind of freak out.

      And yeah, it does certainly seem like it is an ape training facility sometimes.
      But they tell me it is a financial services company.

      Lots of people that are scared to do things differently because it might crash everything.
      Although, to be fair, they aren't all that wrong in some cases.

      --

      There are some odd things afoot now, in the Villa Straylight.
    6. Re:This is the example they used... by Jellybob · · Score: 1
      These people have learned how to do their specific tasks and if anything changes, they just kind of freak out.

      Ahhh! We have them as well... ... sometimes, seemingly in a fit of manic humour, they get called "IT Trainers". Most of the time I prefer the phrase "Waste of money" though. (Not of course that I'm bitter at the fact the people who are meant to be doing the training spend as much time being shown how to do basic things like comprehend the "A file with this name already exists, do you want to overwrite it?" dialog.
    7. Re:This is the example they used... by webster · · Score: 1

      Offices are setup that way because of the limits of the computer.

      Offices were set up that way long before the current type of computer ever existed. I was in cubicles with a dumb terminal, with a 3270, and with no automation at all.

      If we ever get to the point where workers really do not need any material other than what's accessible with a computer, then we may find the personal workspace disappearing. Or we may not.

      --

      Information is not Knowledge
  4. The very idea makes me laugh by samjam · · Score: 4, Insightful

    The idea that people should be logged on to a workstation without their knowledge just because they were told a joke round the corner is enough to make me laugh.

    Which might not be such a good idea, not so much as it a silly idea.

    Logging on should always be a deliberate and considered act.

    --
    blog.sam.liddicott.com
  5. I know how ya'all are... by NanoGator · · Score: 4, Funny

    " are using laughter recognition software to track and automatically log staff onto the computer nearest to them"

    Breaking in to a slashdotter's computer'd be easy. Just download a .WAV file from Revenge of the Nerds!

    *here's hoping the mods are in good humor today*

    --
    "Derp de derp."
  6. Security by MarkusQ · · Score: 1, Interesting

    I was wondering about the security implications of this until I read that:
    the laughter- recognition software is rather crude and cannot accurately distinguish between different people.

    So now it's not the security implications I'm wondering about.

    -- MarkusQ

    1. Re:Security by greenhide · · Score: 2, Funny

      huh...I fail to see how this comment is redundant. I don't think any other posts pointed this out. And yeah, it's in the article, but who reads that on Slashdot?

      mod parent up, or something.

      --
      Karma: Chevy Kavalierma.
  7. I presume by floydman · · Score: 0, Redundant

    eiter a giggling feather or a very good joke book comes with this.

    besides, I can record someone laughing and screw his life just because he heared a good joke...

    its pointless..

    --
    The lunatic is in my head
  8. Snowball... by clambake · · Score: 3, Funny

    10 stock drops
    20 sullen employees, unable to laugh
    30 productivity ceases
    40 goto 10

  9. backup methods? by Mr.Coffee · · Score: 1

    what about the backup methods? what would happen if you weren't in the mood to laugh? what if your backup authentication phrase (joke) weren't funny any more, or if you couldn't remember the punch line? would you be allowed to make 15 second clips of eddy izzard playable as screensavers so you could get back to work easier if you locked your workstation?

    --
    Cogito Eggo Sum, I think therefore I'm a waffle
  10. think about it... by i+chose+quality · · Score: 0

    with this system on every desktop...

    crackers can start a second career as comedians.
    (or vice versa?)

    --
    the computer is online
    i am not at it
    what a waste of ressources
  11. One small detail. by RALE007 · · Score: 4, Insightful
    If you'll notice towards the end of the article:

    "...For the moment, the laughter-recognition software is rather crude and cannot accuratly distinguish between different people..."

    Soooo... basically you've come up with this pointless software, which is only interesting due to its novelty (I can't bring myself to say inventiveness), that doesn't work. Stop the presses! This is headline material!!

    --
    Beware blue cats moving at .99c
  12. Wrong application... by stoborrobots · · Score: 1

    I was originally going to complain that I could not believe a local uni would do something so silly... But the article overstates what has been achieved...

    The system currently works on voice recognition, which is capable of distinguishing people. The vision is to extend it to laughter recognition, which is not YET capable of distinguishing individuals.

    --
    "Go to CNN [for a] spell-checked, fact-checked summary" -- CmdrTaco
  13. humm humm by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    Boss: Why aren't you working?

    Me: I forgot to laugh.

    i;m not funny

  14. So.... by Apreche · · Score: 1

    instead of difficult to guess passwords, or those pin numbers that change every few seconds, which are almost unguessable (unless of course the password is "password"). All you need to break into the system is a good joke.

    The Friar's club will be the ultimate H4x0r clan.

    --
    The GeekNights podcast is going strong. Listen!
  15. Would it work? I would guess not. by AssFace · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Beside the arguements on here that it wouldn't catch on - I think there is a larger issue at hand.

    Laughter is a spontaneous thing - not everyone reacts the same way to different stimuli.

    As a result, there is true laughter, and then there is a fake laugh. A fake laugh is far different than true laughter.
    This system, unless somehow setup with an endless supply of universally funny jokes, would solely rely on fake and forced laughter - which would likely get tiredsome to the users - not to mention be hard to reproduce (whereas I would bet that true real laughter from the same person is frequently very smilar).

    It is the same basic priniciple with smiles and the human face. A true smile uses a wide range of the facial muscles and involves the eyes a lot. You can usually tell someone is smiling without even seeing their mouth - you only need to see the top half of their face to know. That is, if it is a genuine smile.
    Then there is the fake smile - what we do for photographs. It is entirely different and for the bulk of us, is solely done in the cheek and mouth muscles - therefore it comes across frequently as a pained expression or a sneer.
    Politicians and models are usually more successful if their fake smiles look more genuine than "normal" people.

    I think they should have a recognition system based on our farts.

    --

    There are some odd things afoot now, in the Villa Straylight.
    1. Re:Would it work? I would guess not. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No way that would work, farts are like snowflakes.

  16. Right concept, wrong implementation... by Asprin · · Score: 4, Funny


    If they were smart, they'd drop this and develop an authentication system that works on swearing -- my computer just isn't that funny.

    --
    "Lawyers are for sucks."
    - Doug McKenzie
    1. Re:Right concept, wrong implementation... by WeeLad · · Score: 2, Funny
      I thought my computer was laughing at me instead. Sometimes when I walk away, I can hear it snicker. I confronted it, but it tried to act like it didn't know what I was talking about. Just wait, some day it'll be sorry. It'll be time for an upgrade and I'll be all like, Ha ha, no RAM for you funny boy!

      --
      Seriously, Don't take anything I say seriously.
    2. Re:Right concept, wrong implementation... by Asprin · · Score: 1


      Just wait, some day it'll be sorry. It'll be time for an upgrade and I'll be all like, Ha ha, no RAM for you funny boy!

      Yeah, I know what you mean, but my PC is a chick, so try getting a straight answer out of her about ANYTHING!





      /duck and run

      --
      "Lawyers are for sucks."
      - Doug McKenzie
    3. Re:Right concept, wrong implementation... by acousticiris · · Score: 2, Funny

      I don't know about that...usually I'm swearing at my computer because it WON'T log in, boot up, or beecause it just blue screened. If swearing caused it to log me in, what would I do when it failed? Praise it?

      --
      "God is dead!" - Nietzsche
      "Nietzsche is dead!" - God
  17. Simpsons Reference by bjb · · Score: 1
    I wonder if Hank Azaria is using the Krusty the Clown laugh to log on to his computer...

    I would.

    --
    Never hit your grandmother with a shovel, for it leaves a bad impression on her mind...
    1. Re:Simpsons Reference by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Dan Castellaneta does Krusty.

    2. Re:Simpsons Reference by bjb · · Score: 1
      (only way to respond to this)

      DOH!

      --
      Never hit your grandmother with a shovel, for it leaves a bad impression on her mind...
  18. Scene from an office by wowbagger · · Score: 4, Funny

    Computer 1 <displays a BSOD>
    *nix user <pointing at computer> "HA-HA!"
    Computer 2: "User Nelson logged in".

    --
    www.eFax.com are spammers
  19. That was funny... by TuringTest · · Score: 1

    You have been logged on. X-D

    --
    Singularity: a belief in the "God" idea with the "demiurge" relation inverted.
  20. some people might not be laughing by ravenousbugblatter · · Score: 1

    Using laughter to log onto a computer seems pretty useless. I found the mention of how they coupled it with the ability to track the employees around the office much more interesting. This type of stuff could make the private people freak - imagine the higher up's being able to know every time you went to the bathroom and exactly how long you spent in there?

  21. The Inverse? by limekiller4 · · Score: 2, Funny

    And does crying "shutdown -h now" too? How about a cough doing a fsck?

    --
    My .02,
    Limekiller
  22. We have ways of getting information... by nycsubway · · Score: 3, Funny

    Captor: "We have vays of dealing vit you... If you will not tell us the password to your system, vee will find vays of making you laugh... Ha Ha Ha!"

    Captee: "Uh Oh... I jush had a toof filled, I can't laff."

    Captor: "Bring in the Tickle Bear!"

    --
    http://github.com/gbook/nidb
  23. The headline oversimplified things by babbage · · Score: 3, Insightful
    It's not [just] that you can log in by laughing, the system is intended to be more broadly biometric than that. If you actually read the article -- go on, it's short -- laughter is just one of the cues that the system will listen for:
    Computer scientists at Monash University in Melbourne, Australia, wanted to make it easier for staff to log onto networked computers. So they came up with SoundHunters, a program that recognises someone's voice or laughter and works out which computer is nearest to them. It could then be used to automatically log them on to the computer.

    [....]

    If the person is moving around the office, the agents can keep track of them by listening to their footsteps. "Once the agents have worked out the direction the person is going, they would even be able to stay one or two steps ahead," says researcher Arkady Zaslavsky. For example, the system could be used to follow an executive as they walked through an office, ensuring that their email was always available on the nearest computer.

    So what they're really saying is that this is intended to be a general purpose system for tracking a person's movement around a building, by listening for each individual's voice, footsteps, laughter, and probably other sonic cues.

    While that sounds pretty cool -- and is much less silly than the laughing aspect -- it has me wondering what happens when person A is hard at work at her computer, and boss B drops by to check in. Will A get booted & B get logged in? Will B be comfortable with her desktop showing up on random desks as she walks around the office?

    Okay, so the people working on this probably aren't stupid -- zany, but not stupid (hey, it is Damian Conway's school... :-). The mere presence of person B at person A's desk shouldn't force a user switch if person A is still sitting there. But the description of the system still leaves open the aspect that, as the article put it, the executive's desktop is going to be racing around the office to keep up with him, gleefully leaping several cubicles ahead in anticipation of where he is about to walk next. Other people are going to be able to trivially eavesdrop on that executive's desk, whether or not they intended to. Sounds risky to me.

    As cute as this idea is for some settings (Bill Gate's famed techno-home, for example), I think the corporate office or even a university department isn't the right place for it. As another commenter noted, logging into a machine should always be a deliberate act. Maybe it would be more prudent to replace the auto-logins with a new login screen saying "hello Doctor Falken, would you like to sign in?" At which prompt the user could reply "yes please, Hal" and if the voiceprint matches, he's all set.

    --
    DO NOT LEAVE IT IS NOT REAL
  24. Here's the KEY sentence: by dpbsmith · · Score: 1

    "For the moment, the laughter-recognition software is rather crude and cannot accurately distinguish between different people."

    (So, aside from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?)

    --

    "How to Do Nothing," kids activities, back in print!

  25. Interesting animation idea by MerryGoByeBye · · Score: 1

    This ought to work wonders with MS's fast user switching.

    Hell, you should be able to set up a crude animation by using each account as a framebuffer in sequence and then loading up a couple a' employess with some nitrous!

    Prolly give epileptics a fit, though....

  26. Redundant? Turn around quickly by MarkusQ · · Score: 1

    Urgent nitice to whoever modded my post above "redundant":

    Turn around at once! Since I posted over an hour before the post that made you think mine was redundant I can only conclude that you are experiencing time backwards! As I'm sure you know, this is very dangerous, especially if you don't realize that you're doing it before it's too late (or should that be "after it's too early"?). Anyway, turn back now before (after?) somebody gets (got?) hurt.

    Only thinking of the public's safety...

    -- MarkusQ

  27. The real challenge... by Flwyd · · Score: 1

    How will they come up with enough funny jokes to present at each login prompt? I don't think /usr/games/fortune is up to snuff.

    --
    Ceci n'est pas une signature.
    1. Re:The real challenge... by JDWTopGuy · · Score: 1

      Just make your own fortunes.dat. It's not hard.

      --
      Ron Paul 2012
  28. Just post a... by phorm · · Score: 1

    Bulletin about how Microsoft plans to make their OS "secure" near terminals. Everybody will understand why they are laughing.

    Then the problem is in making them stop....

  29. How about a cough doing a fsck? by phorm · · Score: 1

    What about if you turn your head to the side and cough? I don't want an fsck then... oh whatever else it might make sense to do.

  30. Me Go Now by SEWilco · · Score: 1

    This story sends me to my happy place.

  31. What an idea. by PTDC · · Score: 1

    Frankly, I find this idea laughable.... Oh, boo yourself ;).

  32. Customizable by chendo · · Score: 1

    Make it so you can change the authentication sound. I'd change mine to my fart, as it's the most noticable sound around :o

    --
    Founder of Mirror Moon - Tsukihime Game Trans
  33. Dangerous Exploit by G4from128k · · Score: 1

    What if someone hacks into your system and installs the world's most dangerous joke on the login screen? You see it, read it, start laughing, get logged in, and then continue laughing until you die.

    This leaves you dead on the floor with your machine logged in and unguarded.

    --
    Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.