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Metal Nanobumps For Better Artificial Body Parts
Roland Piquepaille writes "Everybody seems concerned these days by the risks associated with the use of nanotechnologies. So I'm pleased to report that Purdue engineers have proven that metal nano-bumps could improve artificial body parts, such as hips or knees. They based their theory on a simple fact. Surface bumps on conventional alloys used in prostheses are in the micron range, while they are ten times smaller in natural bones, around 100 nanometers. They thought a reduction of the size of these bumps in the prostheses would also reduce the risk of rejection by the body. They limited their experiments to petri dishes, but showed that adherence of new body cells to their new metal alloys was dramatically better than with existing alloys. Ssveral years will pass before improved artificial hips come to market. But the needs are growing. This overview contains more details and references."
1) defecate. preferably after eating senna, ex lax, prunes, cabbage and hot sauces.
2) wipe ass with witch hazel, soothes horrific burns
3) prime anus with anal ease.
4) slather richly a considerable amount of vaseline or other anal lubricants into your rectum at least until the bend and also take your yoda doll or yoda soap on a rope and liberally apply it.
5) pucker your ballon knot several times actuating the sphincter muscle in order to work it in
6) slowly rest yourself onto your yoda figurine
7) make sure to have a mechanism by which to fish yoda out of your rectum, the soap on the rope is especially useful because that is built in.
8) gyrate gleefully in your computer chair while your fat sexless geek nerd loser fat shit self enjoys the prostate massage you'll be getting. Read slashdot. Masturbate to anime. Email one of the editors hoping they will honor you with a reply. Join several more dating services - this time, you dont check the (desired - speaks english) and (desired - literate). You figure you might get a chance then. Order some fucking crap from Think Geek. Get Linux to boot on a Black And Decker Appliance. Wish you could afford a new computer. Argue that IDE is better than SCSI because you cant afford SCSI. Make claims about how Linux rules. Compile a kernel on your 486SX. Claim to hate windows but use it for Everquest. Admire Ghyslain's courage in making that wonderful star wars movie. Officially convert to the Jedi religion. Talk about how cool Mega Tokyo is. Try and make sure you do your regular 50 story submissions to Slashdot, all of which get rejected because people who arent fatter than CowboyNeal can't submit. Fondle shrimpy penis while making a yoda voice and saying, feel the force, padawan, feeel the foooorce, hurgm. Yes. Yes. When 900 years you reach, a dick half as big you will not have.
All in a days work with a yoda figurine rammed up your ass.
-INSANE-PRIEST--INSANE-PRIEST--INSAN
I___________,.-------.,____________I TrollKore
N______,;~'_____________'~;,_______N fucking
S____,;____HEY TROLLKORE___;,____S sucks
A___;___JUST QUIT TROLLING___;___A
N__,'____SLASHDOT, POSERS!___',__N The GNAA
E_,;__YOUR TROLLS SUCK HARD___;,E are
-_;_;______._____l_____.______;_;__- cocksuckers
P_l_;____________l____________;_l__P
R_l__`/~"_____~"_._"~_____"~\'__l__R TrollKore
I_l__~__,-~~~^~,_l_,~^~~~-,__~__l__I fucking
E__l___l________}:{__ (O) _l___l___E sucks
S__l___l_ (o) _/_l_\_______!___l___S
T__.~__(__,.--"_.^._"--.,__)__~.___T The GNAA
-__l_____---;'_/_l_\_`;---_____l___- are
-___\__._______V.^.V___((oo))./____- cocksuckers
I__O_VI_\________________ll_IV___O_I
N_____I_lT~\___!___!___/~ll_I______N Fucking
S_____I_l`IIII_I_I_I_IIIIll_I__o___S lameness
A_O___I__\,III_I_I_I_III,ll_I______A filters,
N______\___`----------'__ll/____o__N will
E____O___\___._______.___ll________E this
-_________\..___^____../(_l___O____- ever
P_________/_^___^___^_/__ll\_______P fucking
R_O______/`'-l l_l l-';__ll_l___O__R WORK?!
I_______;_`'=l l_l l='__/ll_l______I
E_____O_l___\l l~l l__l/_ll_l______E Your father
S_______l\___\ l_l l__;__ll_l__O___S was good
T__o____l_\___ll=l l==\__ll_l______T in bed, he
-____o__l_/\_/\l_l l__l`-ll_/______- grunts like
-_______'-l_`;'l_l l__l__ll_____O__- an ape.
I_O_______l__l l_l l__l__ll________I
N____O____l__l+l_l+l__l__ll___O____N The GNAA
S_________l__"""_"""__l__ll________S are
A__O______l____o_o____l__ll____O___A cocksuckers
N_________l,;,;,;,;,;,l__ll________N
E_____O___`lIlIlIlIlIl`__ll________E
-__________llIlIlIlIll___ll_____O__- By TK-pwn
P__________`"""""""""`___""________P (c)2003 TK-pwn
-INSANE-PRIEST--INSANE-PRIEST--INSAN
The cardinal, while living, was a follower of God.
Now dead, his rotting limbs are able to raise
an army of ghouls and goblins.
TK-pwn
"Thou shall be assimilated!"
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I know you may think I'm crazy, but that's just because I'm wearing a tinfoil hat to keep the nanotechnology's mind control rays out, you're not, and they're already controlling you and are making you think I'm nuts. For proof, just look at those RFID tags: they're actually miniature distributed networks of mind-control processors, just look at this web site for evem more proof.
I gotta go; I think their agents are on to my location. But you can be sure you'll never see me with a nanotechnology hip. If I ever need a hip, believe me, I'm makin' out of the only technology I trust: tinfoil.
Nanobumps? I want larger bumps thanks, about DD... and not metal, silicone thanks.
The needs for artificial hips are growing? I can't tell whether this means that there are more old people living upstairs now than ever before, or that people are now wanting to replace other damaged body parts with artificial hips o_O
Who's that tripping over my bridge!
I am Herod, you dirty fucking "priest."i _N',-',~_i__xxxx_i__',-',~Ri _.-;_\__IR IINRII.`\_i_/`RNIRNIRNR\ _._\_Ri __\\|_\//__N//
You want to see what the Roman soldiers
are going to do to you? This is what
the Romans do to you and your Priests!
I_prepare _i_INRIINRI
N__your self_N_INRI_N
R_for the_i__R',-',~R
I_other side_I',-',~I
*_i_INRINRINRI_i__i_INRIINRIIN
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*_entrails __N',-',~R
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Your days on earth will be spent
languishing on the cross. You are
hereby sentenced to die!
He is the "Insane Priest" dying on the Cross.
Languish and die, Insane Priest.
"The needs for artificial hips are growing"
It's all driven by Elvis, you know. He's approaching 70, and all those old ladies at the Sunny Rest Retirement Home (conveniently located near that Kalamazoo Burger King) keep asking him to swivel his hips and sing Hound Dog. Ever the entertainer, Elvis always obliges, and keeps wearing out hip sets.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
It's like saying "Engineers are concerned by the risks of exposure to electric current, so I'm pleased to report that IBM has proven that electrons can be used to build a microscope."
Thanks, Ace.
Slashdot quality declines as the number of hot grits posts decreases. - Provolt's Law, Apr-09-2005
There seems to be a serious lack of OT posts in here. I see troll after troll.. Scary stuff. I have to say that this sounds like a really good advancement. Probably about the time they've got it worked out perfectly lots of the posters here (/.) will be needing a replacement (too much sitting at t a computer).
Imagine a beowulf cluster of nano-bumps!!
This will solve the last of the problems in creating my cybernetic army of super mutants.
--"Sorry for the inconvience." Gods Last Words to his Creation
DNA, So Long and Thanks for all the Fish
Ssveral [sic] years will pass before improved artificial hips come to market. But the needs are growing.
And if the market for improved hips doesn't grow as expected they can always hire a goon squad to artificially inflate demand.
Dewey, you fool! Your decimal system has played right into my hands!
Everyone's fear is predicated upon their Star Trek experience, I think.
I love NetHack.
One gal has gone through her second complete hip replacement. Why? Because the first one rejected. She's not even 40. I was born mostly missing one hip socket. I got lucky; the socket finally grew deep enough to work, but I could still be staring down the edge of a scalpel in the future. And if I'm going to go through the 6 - 9 damn months that it usually takes to get mobile again, I'm going to want that new joint to outlast me, if at all possible.
Add in things like injuries that can't be corrected by arthroscopic surgery, compound or crush fractures, bone-lengthening surgeries for deformed limbs, and a host of other skeletal problems, and I'd say that this research stands to make life better for a whole lot of people out there. IMNSGDHO.
Doing my level best to piss off the religious right wing...
I believe that Bhutan, a bhuddist buffer country between India and China, has the something like the second highest proportion of outbound refugees in the world. I think the largest is Israel, if you count the Palestinians, who mostly consider themselves to nationals of a separate country anyhow.