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Elephant Repellent Tested In India
Makarand writes "According to this article in the Hindustan Times (India) a joint team of American and Indian
scientists is testing an elephant
repellent in the southern state of Kerala in India. Perforated steel rollers were placed in the elephant herd's path to disperse the repellent. The repellents are ketones released by bull elephants during the mating season.
A large number of elephants are killed by farmers defending their crops and an effective repellent may protect both elephants and crops."
I really feel like I should be impressed or even interested in this topic, because it's on slashdot ... but I'm actually quite underwhelmed.
*however* if this technology can somehow be adapted to give human males elephant-sized penises, then they might really be on to something. but i didn't see anything about that in the article. it really just seems to be about keeping elephants out of farms or something.
It works!
Tim
Omnia vestra castrorum habetur nobis.
Now the farmers will only have to deal with thundering herds of giant horny female elephants.
"Give orange me give eat orange me eat orange give me eat orange give me you." -Nim Chimpsky
Turns out they found out, thanks to Hannibal, that elephants don't like the smell of horse blood, among other things. No, shortage of horses.
I can see how this would repel the female elephants, but wouldn't male sent, especially that during mating season, attract the other males? I'd think that they would come looking for a fight and protect 'their' females... and wouldn't large ornary male elephants be the ones you're specifically trying to avoid?
A guy is alone in downtown Washington, holding a spraying bottle in his hand, vaporizing his stuff with great pride. One of his friends passes by:
... there's no elephant around here!
- Bob, what are you doing there?
- I'm experimenting a new elephant repellent.
- But, but,
- Proves that my stuff works!
I bet minced mice might make an excellent elephant repellent. Bet, then again, I went to clown college.
Doesn't that mean they're testing anti-gravity?
"Derp de derp."
watch this
Kerry & Dean emit the essance of Elephant repellant in their sweat. Trace amounts have been found in John McCain's sweat.
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From the article: "[Asian Elephant Research and Conservation Centre (AERCC) Director R Sukumar said] elephants were sensitive to smells, and the ketones were effective in driving away other bulls during the mating season.."
stinky pharamones released by big fat stinky guys during mating season would drive me away too. but hey, i guess you might come across the gay elephant who likes that sort of thing..
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This remind me of that episode were rocko was testing the wild giraffe repellent.
Root beer, an elephant, and two scoops of ice cream.
homer: "There's not a single bear in sight--the 'Bear Patrol' is working like a charm".
Lisa: "That's specious reasoning,"
Homer: "Thanks, honey,"
Lisa: "According to your logic, this rock keeps tigers away".
Homer: "Hmmm. How does it work?"
Lisa: "It doesn't."
Homer: "How so?"
Lisa: "It's just a rock, but I don't see a tiger, anywhere."
Homer: "Lisa, I want to buy your rock."
I'm confused. As far as I know from my limited Animal Channel education, only female elephants form herds. Like a hideous sexual stereotype, the rowdy male elephant is banished from the female-led, loving, communal herd at a young age. At this point he rampages about the countryside being horny and antisocial. Every now and then he'll run across a herd or females and mate with one or two, but then it's back to the lonely life for him. So, I don't see how fightin' ketones are going to keep the herds of female elephants from ravaging fields. Then again, I'm not a member of the Asian Elephant Research and Conservation Centre.
CowboyNeal's cologne actually _attracts_ elephants, rather than repelling them.
If Elephant females were hot and horny all he time, they wouldn't be bannishing the males, to begin with would they?
Humans are unusual in the mammalian world in that females are able to (under appropriate conditions) have (and enjoy) sex pretty much any time of the year/month (a trait we share with rabbits). Most other female mammals have short periods during which they are in heat. Add to this the Elephant pregnancy term of about 2 years followed by god-only-knows-how-many years of rearing the young before you're ready for another session, and you're looking at something like Spock's 7-year itch in "Amok Time".
I understand that when a human female is not ready for sex, it can be downright painful. I'm presuming the same for an unready pachyderm.
For all practical purposes, you can consider the average female state to be something like an elephantine version of both PMS and a headache. Now consider a herd of these heading north and suddenly realizing that there is a huge, unshaved, male ahead of you who is sooo horny that you can smell it from here.
All of a sudden, West might seem like a good idea.....
Free Software: Like love, it grows best when given away.
If I had flying pachyderms flittering around I would rather consider getting antiaircraft guns than some measly aerosol repellent!
As long as those elephants do not sting.
M
They sure could have used this when they were getting attacked by the oliphants ...
the end is near my friends
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