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The Truth About Lincoln
samzenpus writes "Contrary to popular belief and historical record Lincoln survived the attempt on his life and lives in the woods behind this guy's house."
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Well this story has no comments, so it is time to brew up some frosty piss.
Here a few good ways to destroy some light bulbs:
1: Place one or more light bulbs in a paper bag and stomp on them.
2: Place light bulb in an empty coffee can, place lid on can, and shake the devil out of it until you hear it explode inside.
3: Flush them down the toilet. (This works fine with Christmas bulbs of C-9 size or smaller) If you're lucky, you may hear them explode deep inside the pipes.
4: Feed them to a pissed-off alligator, crocodile, or caiman.
5: Set them on the road and allow vehicles to drive over them.
6: (For exposed outdoor fixtures) Allow light bulb to burn for an hour or more, then throw a Dixie cup full of ice water onto it.
7: Wrap light bulb with long, thin foil or metallized Mylar streamers, being sure to enclose the majority of the bulb with the metal and leave several feet of streamers free. Toss into high voltage power lines. The light & sound show will be awesome, and that light bulb will never bother you again. NOTE: Causes between 3,000 and 50,000 homes and business to black out, will knock radio & television stations off the air, and will probably get you in a heap of trouble!)
8: Scatter light bulbs across the lawn and then run over them with your power lawnmower.
9: Fill a mailbox with light bulbs, add an M-80 (or larger) firecracker, light it, close the lid, and RUN LIKE HELL.
10: Place a light bulb in a standard workbench vise, and tighten it.
11: Shoot them out with a semiautomatic BB pistol or pellet gun.
12: Replace the baseballs in an automatic pitching machine with light bulbs. Allow hitters to swing at them. Use a concrete backstop.
13: Connect lower wattage bulbs (25 watts or under) directly to the secondary windings of a standard furnace ignition transformer.
14: Mount an outboard boat motor on the edge of a metal garbage can, then fill with water. Start & throttle up the motor, and add a generous supply of light bulbs to the water.
15: Scatter light bulbs in your flowerbeds, then try to till them in with a DR. or Mantis motorized garden tiller. Most of them should break quite readily
16: Fashion a "Polish cannon" out of pop cans, and use it to fire light bulbs - rather than the traditional tennis balls. Fire than at any convenient hard surface.
17: Tee up! Substitute light bulbs for golf balls on that 495 -yard par 5 hole. Videotape the golf players in action, paying particular attention to how they address the light bulb, and how square their clubface is at impact. Instruct players it's OK to take as many mulligans as they wish, and that it's also OK to strike the light bulb with the club's hosel, thus shanking it.
18: Fire light bulbs up in the classroom kiln during pottery class. Remove them when ready, and throw them in the toilet bowl or into a sink full of cold water.
19: Pop them with a ball-peen hammer.
20: Tape as many light bulbs as you can to the side of a refrigerator; then push the refrigerator over onto that side.
21: Run them through the dishwasher as long as necessary until they explode.
22: Screw light bulbs into $5 Salvation Army lamps, plug the lamps in, turn them on, and swing them around wildly until they hit something solid.
23: Fill a toilet tank with light bulbs, and drop it from a cliff or shove it out an upper-floor window of a tall building.
24: Fill a bathtub to the rim with light bulbs, then start lobbing bowling balls into it.
25: Replace the football at a game with a big streetlight bulb. Set up the field goal team, and let er rip.
26: Remove the front protective grid from a large fan and start lobbing light bulbs at it. Ensure they aren't filled with dog shit.
27: Place several light bulbs in a paper bag, set it on somebody's porch at night, light it on fire, ring the doorbell, and run off. The victim should take care of them for you.
28: Gingerly set them o