Slashdot Mirror
Man Denied Boarding Because of Transformers Shirt
Brad Jayakody was told he would have to change his shirt if he wanted to catch his flight to Dusseldorf, Germany. The shirt that security at Heathrow got upset about depicts the Transformers character Optimus Prime holding a gun. Brad said, "I was flabbergasted. I thought the supervisor would come over and see sense, but he didn't. After I changed he said if I changed back I would be arrested." I would understand if the guy was wearing a Megatron shirt, after all that guy turns into a gun which could be very dangerous but Prime? There is no way a semi could fit on a passenger plane it's just silly.
ACT ONE
SCENE: Our hero, ME, walks through the downtown area of his CITY.
ME: Doot doo doo, I'm walking through this downtown area of my city, being an upstanding citizen and not at all planning on hijacking an airplane or other significant crimes! Doot doo doo...
(a PASSERBY passes by, wearing a shirt with a picture of the LEADER of the SIDE OF GOOD from some 80s cartoon holding a GUN.)
ME: Mercy me! This depiction of a firearm being held by a crudely-animated cartoon character has suddenly reversed my opinion of my country! I am now compelled to lay waste to the city! Thank you, passerby!
PASSERBY: You are most welcome! I love to help spread anarchy and destruction, as evidenced by the gun image on my shirt!
(ME lays waste to the CITY. POLICE are helpless due to ME having seen a picture of a GUN and thus galvanized and emboldened in pursuit of destruction.)
(camera pans up as CITY lays in ruins and half of STATE is a smoldering crater)
ACT TWO
SCENE: A different CITY. A sleeper-cell terrorist named CHAD is walking through its downtown sector.
CHAD: Wow, what a great day it is to be a sleeper-cell terrorist! I came to this country with a hatred of it, awaiting my secret code signal through which I have been conditioned to begin spreading Evil(tm) and SCARY Negativeness(tm)! But in my time in this country, I have grown to appreciate its ways and am starting to reject my terrorist ideals. I certainly hope nothing shall happen to dissuade this line of thought!
(a PASSERBY passes by, wearing a shirt with a different picture of the LEADER of the SIDE OF GOOD from some 80s cartoon holding a GUN.)
PASSERBY: Hello, Chad! Say, have you seen my shirt, on which is printed an image of a gun?
CHAD: Oh no! My conditioning has suddenly arisen to the point of pushing out all my reservations about my home country of Terroristia! Thank you, Passerby! How did you know that I would explode into a violent person, killing all in a frenzy of blood and gore and spreading Evil(tm) upon sight of a firearm?
PASSERBY: Just doing my duties as a steward of destruction, Chad!
CHAD: Why, thank you!
(CHAD lays waste to the CITY. POLICE are again helpless due to CHAD having seen a picture of a GUN and thus galvanized and emboldened in pursuit of aimless destruction.)
ACT THREE
SCENE: A security checkpoint en route to an airport terminal with service to Dusseldorf, Germany.
(JAYAKODY walks up to the checkpoint, wearing yet another different shirt with a picture of a different LEADER of the SIDE OF GOOD from some 80s cartoon holding a GUN.)
JAYAKODY: Hello, sirs! I wish to board this plane to Dusseldorf, Germany!
SECURITY #1: Wait a minute! That shirt you are wearing! It has a picture of a gun on it! Just like the incidents that have happened in America just recently mentioned in this play!
SECURITY #2: Yes! A gun! Already it has affected my partner's brain, filling it with thoughts of blowing up the country of Germany, which is his native-born country which he loves! You are a terrorist criminal of Terroristia, and cannot board the plane.
JAYAKODY: Curses! My plans to destroy this airport and my boundless lust for chaos have been thwarted by the diligence of airport security and their cunning recognition of a picture of a gun! I now love this country due to its near-absurd level of inconvenience!
(curtain falls)