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Hit Man Email Scammer Back With a Vengeance

coondoggie writes "The online Hitman scammer, who threatens to kill recipients if they do not pay thousands of dollars to the sender, is still sending out thousands of emails and the FBI is again today warning users to ignore the spam and report any incidents to the Internet Crime Complaint Center. Two new versions of the scheme began appearing in July 2008, the FBI said. One instructed the recipient to contact a telephone number contained in the e-mail and the other claimed the recipient or a 'loved one' was going to be kidnapped unless a ransom was paid."

169 comments

  1. Sounds like dangerous business by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Interesting

    sending out death threats to all and sundry . . . I hope law enforcement gets to the silly buggers before some real killers do

    1. Re:Sounds like dangerous business by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      I don't.

    2. Re:Sounds like dangerous business by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Seconded.

    3. Re:Sounds like dangerous business by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Why would it be a bad thing, if somebody killed them?

    4. Re:Sounds like dangerous business by X0563511 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      You really think they would send these themselves? Very likely they go through at least one proxy, either electronic or meatspace. The wrong person - maybe not wholly innocent however - would likely take the bullet. We need to be fair in our hatred.

      --
      For large sets, this will be our guide even unto death, for the LORD will work for each type of data it is applied to...
    5. Re:Sounds like dangerous business by Spamalope · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Thirded. Spammers in general should die horribly, and this idiot or idiots should be the first one up against the wall.

      I have a modest proposal. We create a google 'bounty' ad account, and all place at least one ad for that account on our sites. The bounty is payable to the hitman who kills one of the top ten ROKSO spammers. Like a lottery, the bounty increases until claimed.

      Perhaps we could convince spammers that being one of the top ten is a bad idea!

    6. Re:Sounds like dangerous business by Z00L00K · · Score: 2, Insightful

      There is always a risk that this will kick back on people like this. Death threats are something that will pop up on the radar of several agencies in several countries.

      The ordinary Nigeria scams are just stupid and foolish.

      "Dear fool I want to give you money but you will have to pay me first..."
      is just so simple compared to
      "Dear fool, provide me with some more information so I can kill you or some close relative unless you pay me"

      --
      If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker would destroy civilization.
    7. Re:Sounds like dangerous business by oldspewey · · Score: 0, Redundant

      Your ideas intrigue me ... please subscribe me to your newsletter

      --
      If libertarians are so opposed to effective government, why don't they all move to Somalia?
    8. Re:Sounds like dangerous business by Foobar+of+Borg · · Score: 1

      Perhaps we could convince spammers that being one of the top ten is a bad idea!

      Of course, if the top ten are killed, then #'s 11-20 become the top ten. And when they are dead, what would now be #'s 21-30 would be the top ten who are now marked for death.

      Hmmm... Maybe you're really on to something here :-p

    9. Re:Sounds like dangerous business by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You're stumbling toward setting up an assassination market. Please stop.

    10. Re:Sounds like dangerous business by FunkSoulBrother · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Unfortunately spammers being the scum of the earth that they are would exploit this by faking their own murder and claiming the bounty.

    11. Re:Sounds like dangerous business by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm waiting for him to hit my e-mail address so that we can arrange a face to face pay-off. Though I don't think he would like the friends that I would bring to the party.

    12. Re:Sounds like dangerous business by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I do

    13. Re:Sounds like dangerous business by Dr+Dodgy · · Score: 1

      I can't see this one as a bad thing though. it would be self funding & serving the general populace at the same time.

      When spammers get wise & minimise their output, the pool of electronic $$ drops to lessen the incentive. Spammers may then assume the threat has passed & begin their rampage once again, thus funding the next round of their assassination.

      Sounds perfect.

      If only Hillary had suggested this as a campaign promise you might not be faced with voting for a black man or a geriatric.

  2. this guy by citizenr · · Score: 4, Funny

    needs to meet offline hitman

    --
    Who logs in to gdm? Not I, said the duck.
    1. Re:this guy by sm62704 · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Don't worry, he will. Something like this is going to happen:

      Man went to jail last night for a bar fight. He paid his hundred dollars bail and gets out. He's pissed at whoever he got in a fight with, he's pissed at whoever called the cops, he's pissed at the cops, he's pissed at the bar. He comes home and finds an email threatening his life.

      Whatever dimwit is sending these likely won'y be alive this time next year.

      He's probaby posting at slashdot, probably somebody on my "freaks" list. I hope it's the AC who keeps posting the goatse trolls, they're getting tiresome.

      --
      mcgrew's razor: Never attribute to stupidity that which can be explained by greedy self-interest
    2. Re:this guy by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      goatse warning, mod parent appropriately...

    3. Re:this guy by KGIII · · Score: 1

      Man went to jail last night for a bar fight. He paid his hundred dollars bail and gets out. He's pissed at whoever he got in a fight with, he's pissed at whoever called the cops, he's pissed at the cops, he's pissed at the bar.

      But I'm not on your freaks list yet. But I have got one hella hangover.

      --
      "So long and thanks for all the fish."
    4. Re:this guy by BronsCon · · Score: 1

      I wish I could reply and mod parent insightful, funny, informative or all of the above.

      I presume that when they do catch him, he'll look like that within a week.

      Just goes to show, everything, no matter how obscure, how grotesque or how offensive, is relevant somehow.

      --
      APK quotes people (including myself) without context and should not be trusted. Just thought you should know.
  3. stabbing device invented? by buchner.johannes · · Score: 5, Funny

    Has the internet stabbing device been invented?
    (from http://www.bash.org/?4281 )

    Zybl0re: get up
    Zybl0re: get on up
    Zybl0re: get up
    Zybl0re: get on up
    phxl|paper: and DANCE
    * nmp3bot dances : D-<
    * nmp3bot dances : D|-<
    * nmp3bot dances : D/-<
    [SA]HatfulOfHollow: i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

    --
    NB: The message above might reflect my opinion right now, but not necessarily tomorrow or next year.
    1. Re:stabbing device invented? by Shamenaught · · Score: 5, Funny
      --
      mysql> SELECT * FROM `places` WHERE `place` LIKE 'home`; Empty set (0.00 sec)
    2. Re:stabbing device invented? by kalirion · · Score: 4, Funny

      this could be fun too

    3. Re:stabbing device invented? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Not to mention this.

  4. False Positives by locster · · Score: 2, Funny

    This guy is ruining the legitimate hitman industry now that most of our (err, their) emails are ending up in spam bins. Better go check your spam bins people.

    1. Re:False Positives by Joe+Random · · Score: 1

      This guy is ruining the legitimate hitman industry now that most of our (err, their) emails are ending up in spam bins.

      If you're actually trying to blackmail your targets rather than just doing your job, then you're only shooting yourself in the foot. You won't get any repeat business that way.

      Amateurs.

  5. Old tactics by Patrik_AKA_RedX · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well, pay me $1000 or your mother in law will receive this immortality drug...

    1. Re:Old tactics by mark_hill97 · · Score: 4, Funny

      You almost had me sir, then I realized that not only I, but everyone on this site, doesn't have a mother in law for you to give this drug to. Your plan has been foiled, HA!

    2. Re:Old tactics by chriseyre2000 · · Score: 5, Funny

      I don't have a mother-in-law yet but will be acquiring one in 8 days time.

    3. Re:Old tactics by repvik · · Score: 5, Funny

      Is that what is known as a "Hostile Take-over"?

    4. Re:Old tactics by need4mospd · · Score: 1

      If I don't pay you, at least I won't have to worry about paying the email hit man. Come and get me buddy, there's beer in the fridge.

    5. Re:Old tactics by elrous0 · · Score: 1

      No, pay *me* $1,000 or I'll make "Meet the Spartans 2" and release it in metroplexes across the country!

      --
      SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
    6. Re:Old tactics by kabocox · · Score: 1

      Well, pay me $1000 or your mother in law will receive this immortality drug...

      Shouldn't you be able to sell an immortality drug for millions or a few billion rather than give it away if some one doesn't give you 1K? Talk about poor planning.

    7. Re:Old tactics by orasio · · Score: 2, Funny

      Your post should star the permanent World Lameness Expo!

    8. Re:Old tactics by u-235-sentinel · · Score: 1

      Well, pay me $1000 or your mother in law will receive this immortality drug...

      I'm just waiting for them to email spam the Mafia. I can see it now...

      Vinny: Hey Guido, it's that Nigerian dude once again. And now he's threatening to kill you

      Guido: Put a hit on him Vinny. $50k dead

      --
      Has Comcast disconnected your Internet account? Same here. You can read about it at http://comcastissue.blogspot.com
    9. Re:Old tactics by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      All your hitmen are belong to us.

      www.hitman.com

    10. Re:Old tactics by arthurpaliden · · Score: 2, Funny

      Then you are in luck. They know what causes this and it can be prevented.

    11. Re:Old tactics by tlhIngan · · Score: 1

      No, pay *me* $1,000 or I'll make "Meet the Spartans 2" and release it in metroplexes across the country!

      So that's how Uwe Boll gets his money to make movies... though, everyone seems to keep falling for it, for he's still releasing movies even after everyone pays to make him stop...

      (Though... wasn't there something that one could do to make him stop?)

    12. Re:Old tactics by Juneau · · Score: 1

      Then please turn in your Slashdot ID number.

    13. Re:Old tactics by BronsCon · · Score: 1

      The drug would actually have to work in order to sell it.

      I could threaten to give your mother in law an immortality drug if you don't pay me, with the true intent of giving her an aspirin. You're not likely to sue if she dies and I doubt she'd be up to the task, either.

      Really, if you can get a mailing list containing only the emails of married men, you could make a killing from such a plan.

      --
      APK quotes people (including myself) without context and should not be trusted. Just thought you should know.
  6. Reverse Darwin by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    The people who figure it's a scam realize their mistake too late. The gullible pay and live. In the end only people who click on everything and respond to spam will be left. *Wake up, you're having a nightmare!*

    1. Re:Reverse Darwin by BronsCon · · Score: 1
      --
      APK quotes people (including myself) without context and should not be trusted. Just thought you should know.
  7. Is that a threat? by xandos · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I thought it was standard procedure to first kidnap and then request a ransom. Why would people pay a ransom -provided they feel really threatened by the email - if noone is kidnapped yet? They can always pay ransom when the kidnapping is actually done?

    1. Re:Is that a threat? by gstoddart · · Score: 4, Informative

      I thought it was standard procedure to first kidnap and then request a ransom. Why would people pay a ransom -provided they feel really threatened by the email - if noone is kidnapped yet? They can always pay ransom when the kidnapping is actually done?

      For the same reason that people fall for all kinds of scams and other stupid stuff on the internet that they might not fall for in real life -- some subset of the recipients actually believe it is real.

      If you send enough, it only takes an exceedingly small percentage of people to respond to any attempt to get cash and it probably works. Same for "p3n1s 3nl4rgm3nt", Nigerian scams, or phishing.

      In this case, people might actually believe (as much as you and I can't see how) that someone they know might be in real peril of getting kidnapped. Yup, it's naive, but we know people believe all sorts of things.

      However, in this case, I should think that sending such threats over email is probably a federal crime, and the people doing this are going to be hosed if they get caught. I'm sure it's probably at least 2-3 felonies to do such a thing.

      Cheers

      --
      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
    2. Re:Is that a threat? by TheJasper · · Score: 1

      Because a kidnapping almost always ends in the death of the kidnapped?

      Anyway we're talking about a spammer. He's not exactly looking for the best and the brightest is he?

    3. Re:Is that a threat? by bhtooefr · · Score: 1

      I guess this would be a form of protection racket.

    4. Re:Is that a threat? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Well, I suppose it's like any other hard sell advertising ploy: the price might go up.

      "Act now, and you'll receive our special discount ransom offer!"

      Maybe they'll offer 10% off coupons too.

    5. Re:Is that a threat? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What time of day is "noone"?

    6. Re:Is that a threat? by noundi · · Score: 1

      It used to be, then Microsoft bribed ISO and this is what happened.

      --
      I am the lawn!
    7. Re:Is that a threat? by ed__ · · Score: 5, Funny

      I hope that they have those reward cards, where every time you get kidnapped they punch a hole in the card, and after 9 kidnappings, you get a free sandwich!

      that's just plain win/win right there.

    8. Re:Is that a threat? by thesandtiger · · Score: 1

      Well, if you ignore the fact that this is a scam, kidnappings tend to be emotionally damaging. If someone truly felt that there was a credible threat to a loved one that they couldn't otherwise avoid, it makes sense, in that it would help their loved one avoid undue emotional distress and risk.

      Of course, what makes more sense is contacting the FBI and saying "Hey, some asshole is threatening to kidnap my ..." But who can say.

      --
      Since I can't tell them apart, I treat all ACs as the same person.
    9. Re:Is that a threat? by ccguy · · Score: 5, Funny

      I thought it was standard procedure to first kidnap and then request a ransom. Why would people pay a ransom -provided they feel really threatened by the email - if noone is kidnapped yet? They can always pay ransom when the kidnapping is actually done?

      You can pay whenever it is convenient to you. However, let me explain you the options so you can make an informed decision:

      - Paying in advance is hassle-free for all parties involved. You also get a coupon, 20% off the next ransom.
      - Paying in full after the actual ransom has a 30% processing fee.
      - Paying in monthly payments has no surcharge, but we will return your loved one monthly, too.

      hitman.

    10. Re:Is that a threat? by sleeponthemic · · Score: 1

      You're absolutely right. Why pay now when you can wait and get actual confirmation (severed bodyparts/blood/etc) that they have in possession, your loved one?

      --
      I record my sleeptalking
    11. Re:Is that a threat? by Hal_Porter · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I read that in Japan someone sent out a spam that said "I know you're having an affair! Pay me $CASH_SUM or I'll tell your wife". He got lucky with some small percentage of the recipients who sent him money. But he got unlucky with a much smaller percentage who reported him to the police.

      --
      echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
    12. Re:Is that a threat? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I thought it was standard procedure to first kidnap and then request a ransom.
      Why would people pay a ransom -provided they feel really threatened by the email - if noone is kidnapped yet? They can always pay ransom when the kidnapping is actually done?

      Why do people keep writing noone, it is no one.

    13. Re:Is that a threat? by Arccot · · Score: 1

      I thought it was standard procedure to first kidnap and then request a ransom. Why would people pay a ransom -provided they feel really threatened by the email - if noone is kidnapped yet? They can always pay ransom when the kidnapping is actually done?

      Depends on who is doing it. Some Sicilian mobs ask for money before the kidnapping. Less hassle for everyone if the victim pays up front. If they don't pay, that's when you start getting increasingly nasty warnings in the form of dead pets, etc.

    14. Re:Is that a threat? by Yvanhoe · · Score: 4, Insightful

      In this case, people might actually believe (as much as you and I can't see how) that someone they know might be in real peril of getting kidnapped. Yup, it's naive, but we know people believe all sorts of things.

      Note as well that a small percentage of these will fall in mailbox of people in a situation where these threats may be more plausible. I mean, if my mother received such a mail just the day after my company sent my in a middle-east country, it may take a more worrying tone.

      Also, if you tell "I kidnapped your child" to 20,000 people, you have a good chance to have 2 or 3 people in the list who really don't know where their children are and worried about it.

      --
      The Wise adapts himself to the world. The Fool adapts the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the Fool.
    15. Re:Is that a threat? by pipingguy · · Score: 1

      What makes you think, gstoddart (321705) Alter Relationship on Friday August 29, @06:02AM (#24792607) Homepage that we don't know your parents' basement address?

    16. Re:Is that a threat? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I hope that they have those reward cards, where every time you get kidnapped they punch a hole in the card, and after 9 kidnappings, you get a free sandwich!

      No, but the 10th kidnapping is free

    17. Re:Is that a threat? by kabocox · · Score: 1

      In this case, people might actually believe (as much as you and I can't see how) that someone they know might be in real peril of getting kidnapped. Yup, it's naive, but we know people believe all sorts of things.

      Many relative "rich" business travelers worry about this. It depends on where you are at as to what "rich" is defined as. You make an average salary in the US, and you could be automatically defined as "rich" to alot of parts on the global so you've got to be careful when you doing your traveling. I think those that routinely do this hire body guards/mercs to keep their asses safe and shoot back if anyone tries anything along those lines. I can't really blame them. Its kinda what all military/police folks are supposed to do. Keep the folks that pay them safe from criminals/"the enemy." Gotta admit that there will always be a place for armspeople/guards of all kinds.

    18. Re:Is that a threat? by orasio · · Score: 1

      Farc (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FARC) make you pay in order not to get kidnapped.
      It's more efficient that way.

    19. Re:Is that a threat? by kdemetter · · Score: 2, Insightful

      True , and exactly that will make sure the scammers get caught.

      The strength of normal scams is that they bring a positive message : they promise lots of money.

      Some people buy that , and lose their money , other people see the hoax , but most of them will just ignore the email and delete it , which means their chances of getting caught are slim .

      If you threaten someone's life , some might take it serious , other will also ignore it , but there's a good chance they will call the cops just to be sure.

      But if you threaten someone's child , there's is nothing in the world that can stop them from making you suffer for eternity.

      Every parents who reads that mail will want to hunt you down the face of the earth , to crush you out of existence.

      So hopefully those scammers get what they deserve

    20. Re:Is that a threat? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Based on some of the children I've dealt with I'd say their parents would welcome their kid's kidnapping.

    21. Re:Is that a threat? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I know that for the old scam, the email would include personal information about the recipient that could probably scare them into thinking this is legit. They would pay to avoid a kidnapping in the first place.

    22. Re:Is that a threat? by gstoddart · · Score: 1

      What makes you think, gstoddart (321705) Alter Relationship on Friday August 29, @06:02AM (#24792607) Homepage that we don't know your parents' basement address?

      My parents don't have a basement you insensitive clod. :-P

      Cheers

      --
      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
    23. Re:Is that a threat? by pipingguy · · Score: 2, Funny

      Ah-ha! Wealthy penthouse-dwellers! Um, your Dad's luxury vehicle will unexpectedly shut down unless...no wait. The elevator will...nah, that won't work. Whatever, just send me money or something bad will happen to you (or somebody else you know) sometime in the future. I bet you're scared now, eh?

    24. Re:Is that a threat? by oldspewey · · Score: 1

      I should think that sending such threats over email is probably a federal crime, and the people doing this are going to be hosed if they get caught.

      I'm sure the authorities in various cities of the former Soviet Union are going to get right on that. I expect a series of arrests imminently.

      --
      If libertarians are so opposed to effective government, why don't they all move to Somalia?
    25. Re:Is that a threat? by ed__ · · Score: 1

      I hope that they have those reward cards, where every time you get kidnapped they punch a hole in the card, and after 9 kidnappings, you get a free sandwich!

      No, but the 10th kidnapping is free

      SIGN ME UP! you just can't pass up a bargain like that.

    26. Re:Is that a threat? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      a card is something that can get lost, instead they cut a finger each time.

    27. Re:Is that a threat? by Watson+Ladd · · Score: 0
      • And if you subscribe to the Theive's Guild insurance we give you 10% off!
      • Assassins receive professional courtesy.
      • And due to a few unfortunate incidents we are no longer targeting Clowns.
      • Just a friendly reminder from your local Kidnapper's Guild, 54 Sator Square.
      --
      Inventions have long since reached their limit, and I see no hope for further development.-- Frontinus, 1st cent. AD
    28. Re:Is that a threat? by cnock · · Score: 1

      Does anybody know, do they take PayPal?

    29. Re:Is that a threat? by kdemetter · · Score: 0, Troll

      Registrant:
        PipingDesign.com Inc.
        815 - 738 3rd Avenue SW
        Calgary, Alberta T2P-0G7
        CA

        Domain name: PIPINGDESIGN.COM

        Administrative Contact:
              Bowers, Paul pbowers@pipingdesign.com
              815 - 738 3rd Avenue SW
              Calgary, Alberta T2P-0G7
              CA
              +1.4038297002
        Technical Contact:
              Technical Contact, NEXCESS.NET tech@nexcess.net
              304 1/2 S. State St.
              www.nexcess.net
              Ann Arbor, MI 48104-2445
              US
              +1.8666392377 Fax: +1.2482810473

      Should i send it to the above adress , Paul :-)

    30. Re:Is that a threat? by pipingguy · · Score: 1

      Oh, no, I'm outed!

      Cheers,

      Paul

      PS Actually, all that info is correct. I'd hate to have to change the phone number though.

    31. Re:Is that a threat? by kdemetter · · Score: 1

      Sorry , i didn't think about the slashdot effect.

      Just wanted to make a point on how easy it is to find someone.

    32. Re:Is that a threat? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Same for "p3n1s 3nl4rgm3nt", Nigerian scams, or phishing.

      Yea, you may make money from this, but it all evens out in the end.

    33. Re:Is that a threat? by pipingguy · · Score: 1

      No worries, I'm paranoid so I already assume everyone else is out to get me anyway.

      In case you already invited friends over to my place tomorrow night, you'd better bring the beer, hookers and blackjack 'cause I'm all out of that stuff at the moment.

    34. Re:Is that a threat? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You actually get a free child after every 9th time!

    35. Re:Is that a threat? by HTH+NE1 · · Score: 1

      Why would people pay a ransom -provided they feel really threatened by the email - if noone is kidnapped yet? They can always pay ransom when the kidnapping is actually done?

      See US foreign policy:

      "If you are waiting for the smoking gun, when you see the smoke coming out of the gun it is too late: the damage has already been done." -- Ari Fleischer, White House spokesman

      --
      Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
    36. Re:Is that a threat? by stm2 · · Score: 1

      In Argentina there is a widespread crime called "virtual kidnap". The criminal call and tell someone that he has a relative with him and you should pay. A lot of people fall in this scam. Look in internet for "secuestro virtual".

      --
      DNA in your Linux: DNALinux
    37. Re:Is that a threat? by xandos · · Score: 1

      My apologies for that, I had no idea. I just guessed it would be the same procedure as for the word 'someone' and 'anyone', about which I am fairly sure that they are written as one word. Next time, I will know better.

  8. Rich folks only by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative
    According to About.com:

    It is known so far that the messages are originating from Moscow, Russia (note the fractured grammar, indicating they were written by non-English speakers) and are being emailed to addresses apparently selected from professional databases (i.e., targeting recipients who presumably have the resources to pay an extortionist).

    I wouldn't expect to receive one of these unless you're wealthy and there's material out on the net attesting to the fact.

    1. Re:Rich folks only by jamesh · · Score: 1

      I wouldn't expect to receive one of these unless you're wealthy and there's material out on the net attesting to the fact.

      I disagree. It's far easier (and cheaper) to send email to 1 million addresses than it is to figure out which of those 1 million people might be a good target.

      I've received at least one of these (eg one that's actually made it past my spam filters), and while I completely knew it to be a scam, it still made me feel pretty yucky inside for some reason... imagine how you would feel if you were paranoid by nature :(

    2. Re:Rich folks only by Kent+Recal · · Score: 4, Funny

      imagine how you would feel if you were paranoid by nature

      how do you know i'm paranoid by nature? who told you that? do you have other information about me? WHO TOLD YOU THAT?

    3. Re:Rich folks only by ed__ · · Score: 5, Funny

      According to About.com:

      It is known so far that the messages are originating from Moscow, Russia (note the fractured grammar, indicating they were written by non-English speakers) ...

      FBI agent: there's only one country that has english grammar this bad...

      Police Detective: The Russians!

      FBI agent: exactly. It's either them or Mrs. Gleason's 8th grade english class.

      Police Detective: But the Russians have rock solid alibis.

      FBI agent: let's lean on the kids, and see if any of them get nervous.

    4. Re:Rich folks only by silentsteel · · Score: 1

      And this is the reason people should learn to protect themselves. Kidnappers and other unsavory people tend to back off once the intended victim has demonstrated that they do not intend to go quietly. My wife would be more than happy to remove someone from the planet, rather than be taken somewhere unwillingly. A handgun (with the requisite training) and martial arts training tend to ensure a little bit more perseverance. It also helps a loved one's nerves.

      --
      I cut it three times, and it's still too short.
    5. Re:Rich folks only by T.E.D. · · Score: 1

      According to About.com:

      It is known so far that the messages are originating from Moscow, Russia (note the fractured grammar, indicating they were written by non-English speakers) ...

      FBI agent: there's only one country that has english grammar this bad...

      Police Detective: The Russians!

      Police Detective: I'll start right away tracking down this "potus@whitehouse.gov". That pesky rusky can't fool us with his cartoonishly bad english!

    6. Re:Rich folks only by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The FBI is now operating internationally with offices in various countries, so if the Georgian situation has completely fouled the well, then they probably won't work with the FBI for awhile.

      Not to metion the concerted effort to penatrate the server farms that hide spammers and other nefarious unsups.

  9. I will kidnap CowboyNeal by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Unless you pay me $9000

    1. Re:I will kidnap CowboyNeal by Fex303 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Unless you pay me $9000

      You left the word 'not' out of your subject.

    2. Re:I will kidnap CowboyNeal by TedRiot · · Score: 2, Funny

      I think even worse is that (s)he said 9000 without 'over' preceding the number.

    3. Re:I will kidnap CowboyNeal by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'll give you $100 if you kidnap kdawson.

    4. Re:I will kidnap CowboyNeal by Ihmhi · · Score: 3, Funny

      Pfft, it's gonna cost you at least that much to rent a forklift and 18 wheeler.

    5. Re:I will kidnap CowboyNeal by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Death threats are illegal in the great white north

      Criminal Code of Canada
      Assaults:
      Uttering threats
      264.1 (1) Every one commits an offence who, in any manner, knowingly utters,
      conveys or causes any person to receive a threat
      (a) to cause death or bodily harm to any person;
      (b) to burn, destroy or damage real or personal property; or
      (c) to kill, poison or injure an animal or bird that is the property of any person.
      Punishment
      (2) Every one who commits an offence under paragraph (1)(a) is guilty of
      (a) an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding five
      years; or
      (b) an offence punishable on summary conviction and liable to imprisonment for a
      term not exceeding eighteen months.

  10. Re:life0cidal corepirate nazi execrable still allo by richi · · Score: 1

    Golly, I wish I had some mod points today...

  11. Interesting demographic by El+Yanqui · · Score: 5, Funny

    I suspect you have to be gullible and paranoid with a dash of guilty conscience thrown in to fall for this scam.

    Hey you... yeah you. The fat guy with cheetoh stained fingers and an external drive loaded with furry porn. Mod me up or I'll take all your action figures out of their original packaging.

    --
    Well, thanks to the Internet, I'm now bored with sex.
    1. Re:Interesting demographic by aproposofwhat · · Score: 2, Funny

      I have mod points, but object to your description of my fingers.

      And my action figures are in a locked vault somewhere in my mother's basement, so good luck with that :P

      Time for some furry porn...

      --
      One swallow does not a fellatrix make
    2. Re:Interesting demographic by houghi · · Score: 2, Funny

      I suspect you have to be gullible and paranoid with a dash of guilty conscience thrown in to fall for this scam.

      One group of people worldwide: Politicians.

      --
      Don't fight for your country, if your country does not fight for you.
    3. Re:Interesting demographic by lowlymarine · · Score: 0

      One group of people worldwide: Politicians.

      Gullible? Check. Paranoid? Check. Guilty conscience...ooh, foiled in the home stretch.

    4. Re:Interesting demographic by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It would be much more effective if he was actually killing the thousands of people who don't pay. But that would earn him 5 GTA stars and an onslaught of helicopters real quick.

    5. Re:Interesting demographic by fm6 · · Score: 1

      I suspect you have to be gullible and paranoid with a dash of guilty conscience thrown in to fall for this scam.

      With any spam-driven scam, only one person in a million is gullible enough to fall for it. That's the whole point. If you had a scam that might fool a smart person, you wouldn't waste it on spam. But if people see through your scam 99.9999% of the time, spam is the only way for you to reach that vital 0.0001% of the population you're trying to rip off.

      Sadly, the victims of scams are often elderly people you are a little out of it, and are easily misled. And who are really in a bad way when they lose their life's savings. It's not like they can start over again.

      On a brighter note, I have a friend who's an African prince. He's been unfairly removed from his kingdom. Key army officials can be bribed for a mere $100,000. Contributors to his restoration will be paid back tenfold once he's back in power. If you'd like to help, please send email to tibtibtib@hotmail.com.

  12. Re:life0cidal corepirate nazi execrable still allo by supernova_hq · · Score: 1

    I just wish I had that much free time on my hands. Then again, I am reading Slashdot :p

  13. hmm by amnezick · · Score: 1

    It's a distraction to keep the attention away from Mexico where real kidnapping takes place.

    Just a (conspiracy saturated) thought ...

    --
    mov ax,4c00h
    int 21h
  14. I've cracked the case! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Since the collection method is identified in the absence of a reason to pay, this has to be SCO.

  15. Re:life0cidal corepirate nazi execrable still allo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Do the world a favor and check yourself in to your local insane asylum.

  16. Very Interesting by DanLew · · Score: 1

    Very Interesting, you just gave me the inspiration to buy the domain - OnlineHitman.com (Surprisingly enough it was available?)

    --
    http://www.danlew.com
  17. scam? by nimbius · · Score: 5, Funny

    ive been paying him for years. still alive.

    me: 1, phantom interblag assassin: 0.

    --
    Good people go to bed earlier.
  18. Vengence? by oodaloop · · Score: 0, Troll

    Is that a UK spelling or something? In AMERICA, we spell that vengeance.

    --
    Tic-Tac-Toe, Global Thermonuclear War, and relationships all have the same winning move.
    1. Re:Vengence? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Is that a UK spelling or something? In AMERICA, we spell that vengeance.

      Here in Norway, we do everything with a vengeance... even spelling. And we spell our country's name with only one capital letter.

    2. Re:Vengence? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And we spell our country's name with only one capital letter.

      Here in AMERICA, everything is bigger.

    3. Re:Vengence? by bobdotorg · · Score: 1

      And we spell our country's name with only one capital letter.

      Here in AMERICA, everything is bigger.

      So now we finally know who's been dumb enough to reply to all the penis spam.

      --
      __ Someday, but not this morning, I'll finally learn to use the preview button.
    4. Re:Vengence? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Why is this flame bait? It's true americans cant spell for shit

  19. Too late by sm62704 · · Score: 4, Funny

    She's dead, Jim. :P

    --
    mcgrew's razor: Never attribute to stupidity that which can be explained by greedy self-interest
    1. Re:Too late by pegdhcp · · Score: 4, Funny

      You, sir, deserve to carry every kind of uber-geek badges available...

    2. Re:Too late by fireheadca · · Score: 1

      Then she can be Zombie-fied. EEEEEEEEEaaaaaaaaaaTTTTTTTTTTT VVeegggggttaaablllleeesss......

    3. Re:Too late by Neanderthal+Ninny · · Score: 1

      Yes, for you beauty sleep, it is too late.

  20. Why is it a 'scam'? by Ed+Avis · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Why are people calling this guy a 'scammer'? He sounds more like a simple extortionist.

    Or is it simply that he is lying about murdering and kidnapping people, so tricking the victims into paying money when they get nothing in return? Maybe it would be more honest of him to really carry out the murders: then at least it wouldn't be a scam.

    --
    -- Ed Avis ed@membled.com
    1. Re:Why is it a 'scam'? by Urkki · · Score: 2, Informative

      This is just a mass-mailed request to receive money, hoping to get some suckers to send some. Whatever the reason given for sending money, it's a scam. Just 'cos the reason given by this scam is a threat of violence, it doesn't stop it from being a scam, it just makes it also extortion.

  21. Better scam ? by Arthur+B. · · Score: 1

    I think a great scam would go like this

    "You dirty bastard, I know you just cheated on your wife, you should be ashamed. Pay me $100 or she'll know everything"

    Cheating is very common, and fear will alter the judgment of the average person (It can't be a spam, how would they *know* I just cheated...). I bet lots of person would pay.

    I don't consider blackmail a crime per se, but that would still be quite a disgusting practice.

    --
    \u262D = \u5350
  22. Mr. Hitman, meet Mr. 419 by bobdotorg · · Score: 4, Funny

    Will Mr. Hitman accept as payment the bogus $14,000 cashier's check some Nigerian scammer sent me to buy my $11,000 car?

    Will he Western Union the excess back to me?

    If you ever want to build a collection of fake cashier's checks, list a car on Craigslist.

    --
    __ Someday, but not this morning, I'll finally learn to use the preview button.
    1. Re:Mr. Hitman, meet Mr. 419 by bizitch · · Score: 1

      lol - perfect!

      --
      ---- "Logoff! That cookie shit makes me nervous!" - A. Soprano
  23. Death threats are a felony. by jcr · · Score: 4, Insightful

    This spammer isn't just stealing advertising and committing millions of instances of petty theft. A death threat is a felony in itself, and this clown is racking up enough separate crimes for his sentence to run to thousands of lifetimes.

    -jcr

    --
    The only title of honor that a tyrant can grant is "Enemy of the State."
  24. Hitman? by MadJo · · Score: 3, Funny

    Man, that's so old school. I already have a Hitman Pro!

  25. Hmmmm by idommp · · Score: 2, Funny

    Do I get to pick which relative? If I pay extra will he kidnap two of them? just curious how this works.

  26. Re:life0cidal corepirate nazi execrable still allo by Erie+Ed · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Slashdot needs to add a spam mod.

  27. Piranha brothers by dkleinsc · · Score: 1

    It was only recently that the Piranha brothers hit upon the other other operation, in which they threatened to kill the target unless he paid them the so-called "protection money".

    Of course, Dinsdale is nowhere near as dangerous as Doug.

    --
    I am officially gone from /. Long live http://www.soylentnews.com/
  28. Has the hitman actually made money off this? by damn_registrars · · Score: 1

    I saw a similar email back in March of this year (and I mentioned it on my web page). Just for amusement I tried to contact the sender - both through the from address and the address they asked I reply to - and act a little concerned. I never heard back from them (I'm guessing the email was shut down).

    But really, the email was so vague it could have been sent to anyone. They didn't even mention me by name or location. I wasn't really the least bit concerned as it was sent to an old email address of mine anyways.

    --
    Damn_registrars has no butt-hole. Damn_registrars has no use for a butt-hole.
  29. Micropayments by RyoShin · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Perfect scenario for micropayments! You could send 2000 e-mails and hope one person will pony up $1000 to avoid any downfall, or you can send 2000 e-mails and offer to take them off your hitlist for a mere dollar. At a low 50% return rate, you've made the original $1000, and the potential for more is much higher!

    Seriously, criminals these days.

  30. Dear Hitman: by TFGeditor · · Score: 1

    I have your demanded payment in-hand. Meet me at 1234 Anystreet USA to collect same.

    (loads .44 magnum and waits in darkened room)

    --
    Ignorance is curable, stupid is forever.
    1. Re:Dear Hitman: by Lurker2288 · · Score: 1

      Ah, don't use a magnum. You blow a hole in the guy the size of the Holland Tunnel and he's not going to survive long enough to suffer all the misery his lame behavior warrants.

    2. Re:Dear Hitman: by TFGeditor · · Score: 1

      True, but dead men tell no tales.

      --
      Ignorance is curable, stupid is forever.
    3. Re:Dear Hitman: by billstewart · · Score: 1

      Why use your real location - either use your local police station, or find some location that Google Maps will send him down a long string of dark country roads to an abandoned factory by a river somewhere...

      --

      Bill Stewart
      New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
    4. Re:Dear Hitman: by TFGeditor · · Score: 1

      ...where the .44 Magnum comes in real handy...

      --
      Ignorance is curable, stupid is forever.
  31. That's what that was? by okmijnuhb · · Score: 4, Funny

    I thought it was Windows Genuine Advantage.

  32. the aim is ? by johnjones · · Score: 1

    exactly what is the aim ? I presume extortion of money which if you look at the online scam seem's to be the endpoint of most spam email why take this any more seriously than others ?

    spam filters should be able to trace then endpoints... yet another reason why SPF and DKIM should be more widely deployed...

    maybe the FBI might want to focus on forceing ISP's to identify who the sender is via technologies such as DKIM...

    regards

    John Jones
    http://www.johnjones.me.uk

  33. Action on spam by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    What if this kind of spam is sent to a politician? Will the politician treat it as spam, or get 50 police officers for round the clock protection?

  34. Mod me! by halcyon1234 · · Score: 0, Redundant

    Mod me +5 or I will assassinate you. Assassinate you HARD!

    1. Re:Mod me! by Siridar · · Score: 1

      Oh yeah?

      well, mod ME up or i'll assassinate you in the EAR.

      You heard me.

      The ear.

  35. Speaking of spammers by Eccles · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    One idiot spammer keeps making up addresses from my domain for his reply-to address. So of course I get all his mailer-daemon bounces. So two questions: first, if I could track him down, could I sue for damages? B, how hard is it typically to track the b-tards down?

    --
    Ooh, a sarcasm detector. Oh, that's a real useful invention.
  36. Example of the email? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Someone want to post a sample of the mail, including the headers?

  37. I'm making a note here by Joe+the+Lesser · · Score: 1

    Huge Success!

    --
    "I only speak the truth"
    Karma: null(Mostly affected by an unassigned variable)
  38. Damn. by SCHecklerX · · Score: 1

    I need to relax my spam filters so that I can join in the fun of toying with these asshole scammers.

  39. Dinsdale! by snspdaarf · · Score: 1

    Four months later they started another operation which they called 'The Other Operation'. In this racket they selected another victim and, by email, threatened not to beat him up if he didn't pay them.

    --
    Why, without your clothes, you're naked, Miss Dudley!
  40. Pure speculation by greedyturtle · · Score: 1

    I wonder if some of the various solutions to ending the spam deluge such as micro transactions et al. would be taken up if this spammer actually started killing people.

  41. Until I'm forced into the trunk of a car by crovira · · Score: 1

    to meet somebody called "Guido 'No Neck' Fangioni" I'd be inclined to disbelieve it (as I disbelieve ALL unsolicited email.)

    Its not that some people don't hate me, (I'm sure I've pissed old ex-bosses off, and the like,) but I seriously doubt it'd be worth the risk of looking for a hit-person (they're NOT all male,) or the expense.

    Basically, I'd say: "Well, you gotta do what you gotta do... But I AM armed, dangerous, a fuckin' lunatic, rich enough to devote some time to it, and if I decide to hunt your down, you'll never know about it, because ..." (And then I'd [trade secret] to convince him that he CAN be found.)

    --
    MSBPodcast.com The opinions expressed here are my own. If you don't like 'em... Think up your own stuff.
  42. Hey! That's my idea... by Firethorn · · Score: 1

    Well, not exactly. ;)

    Mine was to have everybody throw a few cents in whenever they get a spam, creating a sort of bounty system - somebody would go after a proliferate spammer eventually.

    I was going to have it set up as a death pool type system. You pay your money and guess a date. If you're right on the date, you split the money among everybody who got the right date.

    Obviously the hitman has a leg up in such a scheme...

    --
    I don't read AC A human right
  43. Re:life0cidal corepirate nazi execrable still allo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Time Cube guy? Is that you?

  44. I knew it by gruntled · · Score: 1

    Had to be a mistake. Who could possibly want to kill arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  45. Back to rule #1: Spammers are stupid by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Additionally there's a new spam making rounds in my $INBOX lately with the subject "We have hijacked your baby".

    Unless my baby is a sports car it really doesn't make much sense.

  46. FBI Prose by fm6 · · Score: 1, Insightful

    ...the FBI is again today warning users to ignore the spam and report any incidents...

    Which is it? Ignore or report?

    The educational requirements to become an FBI agent are supposed to be pretty high. Wouldn't know it from their press releases. I remember during the hunt for the Unabomber they mentioned that a parcel's return address was "factitious."

    1. Re:FBI Prose by MythMoth · · Score: 1

      they mentioned that a parcel's return address was "factitious."

      Which is a real word correct in context and it's not even a neologism. Buy a dictionary.

      --
      --- These are not words: wierd, genious, rediculous
    2. Re:FBI Prose by fm6 · · Score: 1

      Buy one yourself. "Factitious" means "deliberately misleading". Makes no sense for a return address. The right word here is "fictitious".

    3. Re:FBI Prose by j-beda · · Score: 1
      "Factitious" means "deliberately misleading". Makes no sense for a return address.

      Sure it does. Was the unibomber using return addresses like "Your Loving mom, 123 Main St, Your Hometown"? or perhaps "Free Prize Ticking Clock Company, NY, NY"? Those might be considered "deliberately misleading" as well as, for the second one at least, fictitious.

  47. Achewood Has a Bona Fide Stabbing Device by Iskender · · Score: 1

    With the amount of webcomics available, there has to be one with an internet stabbing device, and that comic is Achewood. I'm guessing it gets additional points for featuring outsourcing of the design to India, although no GRITS are involved.
    http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua7ZTxW4
    http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua2sNcSQ
    http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua7HgdpB
    http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuabCS8Bq

  48. Russian Schoolchildren? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Everyone misunderstands the scam here.

    TFA states that recipients respond, by e-mail or telephone, and prove they are real people. The SPAM is a way to get good e-mail address lists to sell or ID theft information.

    Only Spammers outside the USA have the risk vs. reward advantage here. A US resident can't risk making a kidnapping or death threat. A foreign juristiction, say Russia, might not extradite over this.

  49. I dont get it ... by bizitch · · Score: 1

    If you are the hitman scammer - you tell you victim to do what? Wire transfer to his bank account? Mail him cash?

    Isn't it supper easy to bust the scammer?

    Just follow the money right?

    What am I missing here?

    --
    ---- "Logoff! That cookie shit makes me nervous!" - A. Soprano
  50. Insightful?! by Zancarius · · Score: 1

    ...the FBI is again today warning users to ignore the spam and report any incidents...

    Which is it? Ignore or report?

    Modded insightful? That's laughable. While some press releases are indeed rather comical, if you're unable to deduce the obvious meaning, you're just being a snide bugger about it. Honestly, I don't think anyone is liable to be confused that the FBI's statement implies that 1) recipients should ignore the threat in the spam and 2) report the incident. It isn't rocket science, it's English! Anything more verbose wouldn't fundamentally assist reader comprehension, so why bother including even more words to clarify meaning? Newspapers and other printed publications of that caliber are targeted toward a 5th grade reading level, so I think you'd be better off saving your energy and taking issue with them instead.

    I've seen grammar nazis who raise a fairly decent point before but this sort of nitpicking is just ridiculous.

    --
    He who has no .plan has small finger. ~ Confucius on UNIX
    1. Re:Insightful?! by fm6 · · Score: 1

      Please. I'm not a grammar nazi. As far as I'm concerned, grammatical rules are just a convention, and people are entitled to use whatever conventions they want.

      What I am is a clarity nazi. When we send our blackshirts to beat people up, we remind them that there's no substitute for clarity. As they say in the military services, an order or other communication that can be misunderstood, will be misunderstood. Avoiding that situation means avoiding ambiguity, even when the resolution of that ambiguity seems obvious. And what's more ambiguous than directly contradicting yourself?

      An implicit "you know what I mean" is OK in casual conversation. But in official communications, it's not a substitute for expressing yourself clearly in the first place. Especially when your job has to do with people's safety.

  51. Payment for the hitman threat... by wintermute42 · · Score: 1

    I'm surprised that I didn't notice a comment about the perfect response to this scam:

    Dear Mr. Hitman:

    Please do not kill me. I am the sole means of support for my family, who will be left destitute if I am killed. I will be happy to pay you once I retrieve 10,000,000 (ten million) dollars US which is deposited in the Netherlands. This money is deposited in a locked box in storage and has been left to me by my Uncle who was unexpectedly killed in an airplane crash. If you help be get this money I will gladly pay you thirty percent (3,000,000). Please send me your contact information so we can arrange to get this money.

    Which will, of course require paying a storage fee of several thousand dollars. Since I am supporting my family and parents, I don't have this money, but perhaps the spammer can help me out...

    All these scams involve foreign money. I'm still waiting for one based on US embezzlement. Something like:

    I have been referred to you because I am told that you are a trustworthy person who can help someone with no one else to turn to in their time of need.

    My name is Rebecca Skilling. My husband, Jeff Skilling was the Chief Executive of Enron Corporation. Jeff has been unfairly imprisoned for crimes he did not commit. Before Jeff was sent to jail he deposited 30,000,000 in a Bahamas offshore bank account. I am unable to access this money and I am looking for someone who can transfer it for me. There is no risk on your part and I will pay you 30 percent (9,000,000) if you help me obtain these funds. I am planning to use this money to free Jeff from his unfair imprisonment and to help disabled orphans. I know that God has sent you to me. I look forward to your help. Yours, Rebecca.

  52. Yes, of course it's money by billstewart · · Score: 1

    Well, duh - of course it's to get money. There are some suckers who haven't spent all their money trying to collect big bucks from Nigeria, and sending out Herbal Fake Viagra pills is really just too much trouble when all you need to do for your money is refrain from shooting somebody. It's as much fun as baiting trolls.

    There's certainly no need for the FBI to force ISPs to implement DKIM to identify senders of spam; to the extent that technologies like that work, ISPs that want to get rid of spamming users will use them, and ISPs that want to attract spammers will charge extra for allowing you to generate fake DKIM records.

    Besides, why are you referencing the FBI when you're purporting to be in the UK? SPF won't help directly - its job is to prevent spammers from impersonating real users through forgery, though this does reduce some kinds of spam as well.

    --

    Bill Stewart
    New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
  53. I got my Sig and other "toys" to protect me. by Neanderthal+Ninny · · Score: 1

    Sig 229 & HK-41 (Fed version) because I'm a retired federal officer.
    That also depends how determine this female donkey orifice is, but I'm extremely determined to live so this female donkey orifice will die if this moron tries anything.

  54. I went to the FBI by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    To turn in one of these emails.
    I can ignore most scams, but KIDNAPPING!???

    Well, I got to the FBI website and the wanted ALL my personal info and a bunch of other nonrelated info. ;-(

    I just said No!

  55. natural selection? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    what kind of f***ing idiot would take emails like these seriously? "natural selection", i say.

  56. Re:Hey! That's my idea... by BronsCon · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Spammer sends out billions of spam, watches the pot grow, offs himself and knows that his wife and kids are set for life.

    What we really need to do is make it "school districts only, one claim per district" and watch as the number of underfunded school districts drops asa drastically as the number of spammers.

    Can't beat a double-positive.

    --
    APK quotes people (including myself) without context and should not be trusted. Just thought you should know.