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2-Year-Old Has Pack-a-Day Smoking Habit
The parents of a 2-year-old Chinese boy are seeking advice on how to help their child kick his smoking habit. The toddler has been smoking for over a year and was allowed to start to help deal with the pain of a hernia. His parents say that his smoking is getting out of control, but they are unsure on how to get him to quit. The terrible twos are bad, but imagine the horror of a 2-year-old in the middle of a nic-fit tantrum.
Eric Raymond usually sticks with his JÃgermeister, straight up and ice cold. But every so often, when our hero is out and about giving important talks to Linux fans across the globe, he'll have a mixed drink. Here are a few of his favorites.
Chocolate Milk
Perfecting a concoction initially invented by Emad and friends, Eric says it's a favorite of new Linux users. "It's got that young taste."
Served: On the rocks with novelty penis straw.
Garnish: n/a
Ingredients:
Preparation: Shake and serve. Alternately, may blend with ice.
Golden Shower
On the go most of the time, Eric said this drink has everything needed to give him a stiff kick in the pants. "And you can keep recycling it too, perfect for traveling."
Served: On the rocks.
Garnish: Lemon wedge.
Ingredients:
Preparation: Mix and serve.
Jamaican Cum
Eric was first introduced to this drink while speaking at a JaLUG meeting and he still orders it every time he's in the Bahamas. If you're at the right bar, you'll get the right kind of "cream."
Served: On the rocks.
Garnish: Two maraschino cherries.
Ingredients:
Preparation: Mix and serve.
Kernel Dump
As Eric told the story, he made this drink one night while bored in bed with dysentery. "It might have been cholera," he said, "but either way it kicks."
Served: Straight up.
Garnish: n/a.
Ingredients:
Preparation: Pour diarrhea first, then JÃgermeister. May be served shot-glass-in-tumbler for effect.
Slip'N'Slide
Eric calls this "the summer drink" (italics his).
Served: In an Old-fashioned glass over shaved ice.
Garnish: half banana.
Ingredients:
Preparation: Shake and serve.
Used Motor Oil
Eric got the idea for this drink after an argument with Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda. "It's really simple," Eric quipped, taking a mason jar out of his refrigerator. "You just have to save up ahead of time."
Served: Straight up.
Garnish: Sprig of mint.
Ingredients:
Preparation: Mix and serve.
I have a feeling the problem of how to get him to quit may soon take care of itself.
Try taking away his cigarettes!
No sig today...
...from another source (since this story is at least a weak old) the kid starts to yell, scream and generally goes apeshit without the cigarettes.
See... he is an addict, but with a health problem that his addiction makes bearable.
Unlike some other kids out there.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
A "normal" 2-year-old with hernia pain, which won't go away even after it gets tired of crying and falls asleep.
Aaaand... besides the pain it also has an addiction to a chemical stimulant.
So yeah... kinda like a kid you take a toy away from - if by "toy" you mean body part, and by "take away" you mean cut off.
Yeah... very similar. Not QUITE the same though.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Why the hell did he think smoking cigarettes would help with the hernia pain? this is ridiculous. Reminds me of when my ex thought it was cool to get our baby drunk while I was making dinner. Some dads need a good slap, IMO.