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Faith Healing Clinic Cures Cancer, Paralysis, and Bad Penmanship

Posted by samzenpus on from the how-would-jesus-write dept.

The New Zealand Healing Rooms clinic cures all the usual stuff: cancer, stroke paralysis, broken bones, and mental illness with the power of prayer. What sets this clinic apart from the rest is its ability to fix the most horrible affliction of all, bad penmanship. The clinic is set up like a doctors office, with a waiting room that leads to treatment areas, where two pastors and divine-healing technicians pray for patients. Pastor Marie Rea says the "aggressive" prayer techniques used usually cure patients in as little as one 20-minute prayer session. Most remarkable is the testimony of Adele Marsh, who brought in her dyslexic daughter. After one session, Adele says, her daughter's illegible handwriting was miraculously made legible. A serious question still remains. Can she write an upper-case "Z" in cursive?

8 comments

  1. Right. by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 1

    Because an all-knowing, all-loving god wouldn't know or care about your problem before you hit the prayer clinic; but would thereafter.

    And here I was, thinking that Christians were against witchcraft...

    1. Re:Right. by RockDoctor · · Score: 1

      And here I was, thinking that Christians were against witchcraft...

      Christians burning other Christians ... ?

      If you can arrange the deck chairs, I'll just get a toasting fork and a carton of marshmallows. Back in 5.

      --
      Birds are not dinosaur descendants;birds are dinosaurs, for all useful meanings of "birds", "are" and "dinosaurs"
    2. Re:Right. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Because an all-knowing, all-loving god wouldn't know or care about your problem before you hit the prayer clinic; but would afterwards.

      And here I was, thinking that Christians were against witchcraft...

      Because an all-knowing, all-loving god wouldn't know or care about your problem before you hit the prayer clinic; but would afterwards.

      And here I was, thinking that Christians were against witchcraft...

  2. Right. by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 1

    Because an all-knowing, all-loving god wouldn't know or care about your problem before you hit the prayer clinic; but would afterwards.

    And here I was, thinking that Christians were against witchcraft...

  3. Now that's Bullshit like grandma used to make! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Hey everyone, we can solve the health care crisis in America if we all just pray for the sick! Duh bilebull says if we believe we can heal people and shit.

    We should have no problems getting the republicans on board for this one too! True bipartisanship! Which should be duh most important thing!

    1. Re:Now that's Bullshit like grandma used to make! by Trails · · Score: 1

      I see no reason why it shouldn't work. After all, I believed and clapped my hands, and Tink got better.

    2. Re:Now that's Bullshit like grandma used to make! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Fifty bucks to the first guy that goes in, breaks the receptionist's arm, and justifies it as a "trial run". After all, they can heal broken bones, right?

  4. BS by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Did you know that god can save you even if you are decapitated?