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Europe Launches Flood-Predicting Satellite and Test Probe
MikeChino writes to mention that the European Space Agency has launched a pair of satellites, one that will pinpoint accurately the future location and intensity of floods and droughts, and the other aimed at testing new tech. Launched on a Russian rocket launcher from the Plesestk cosmodrome, the SMOS probe will measure soil moisture, plant growth, and ocean salt levels across the globe. The measurements gathered by the SMOS probe can be used to track ocean circulation patterns and soil moisture — data that can be used to predict quickly drought and flood risk in certain areas, as well as the intricacies of the planet's climate cycle. The other satellite, a smaller demonstration probe dubbed Proba 2, will test 17 new technologies ranging from a new wide-angle view camera to a xenon-fed resistojet thruster.
Yay for taking a load of earth.
That took me three readings to parse. I'd say it was me, but it's more fun to blame it on the mods.
Is it just my observation, or are there way too many stupid people in the world?
And a new band name was coined.
Better add some umlauts, though.
"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your apeman will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.
INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER.
You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately after unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.
CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER
Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat
HOUSING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.
FEEDING YOUR NIGGER.
Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.
MAKING YOUR NIGGER WORK.
Niggers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The nigger's most
The measurements gathered by the SMOS probe can be used to track [...] soil moisture -- data that can be used to predict quickly drought and flood risk in certain areas
So when they measure that soil moisture is zero for a while, they can predict that a drought is going to have happened, and with soil moisture of about 6 feet of surface water, they can predict that flooding is going to have happened. Finally we should have a system more accurate than whatever those "meteorologists" use.
My webcomic
The ESA got a kickback from the insurance agencies, and the project will be funded by all the great ways the insurance companies can raise your rates with this research.
I get the feeling some one in the naming committee was from Bulgaria in order for them to name it so obviously to the Bulgarian word for Probe.
The salinity products from SMOS are now the most interesting part of the mission. Serendipitous 50 km soil moisture retrievals from the active microwave scatterometer (primarily an ocean wind sensor) on ESA METOP have been around for a few years and have undercut the novelty of this mission's land surface measurements.
However, the holy grail of oceanographic remote sensing is observing the surface conditions in the Western Pacific during El Nino formation. Measurements of near-daily surface salinity changes could elucidate the cause of ENSO or, at the very least, would become a useful diagnostic tool. SMOS should be more than capable of this.
So...this is going to protect us from the Flood?
I sometimes ask revealing, often ignorant-seeming questions. Maybe they're harder to answer than you think.
into a sling *unless
They must be having flash floods. In India we have floods that last for weeks. We could use some of this technology really.
A proud Indian
India News
...data that can be used to predict quickly drought and flood risk in certain areas,
Notice how "gives little to no warning" was worded as "predict quickly".
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
You know, as in the dry season is approaching and the soil moisture level is heading below safe values, therefore there is very likely to be a drought, therefore we need to do something now?
When did Slashdot become so popular that it started to attract people who don't understand how prediction and modelling works?
From scarped cliff or quarried stone she cries "A thousand types are gone, I care for nothing, no not one."
Predict floods and droughts, eh? Maybe it'll predict our climate a bit better than IPCC can..
-- All your bass are below two Hz