Nigerian Scammer Gets the Laptop He Deserves

wiredmikey writes "After switching to a Mac recently, I decided to put my old laptop up for sale to help recoup a little of the Mac cost. I received an email almost immediately from a girl named Rebecca and we had this email exchange." My favorite part is the fake letter from the FBI demanding tracking numbers.

Comments

P-p-p-powerbook

[Yvan256]

It's not enough that Hollywood keeps remaking their old movies, even the internet is doing the same. This is a remake of the old P-p-p-powerbook story.

Re:P-p-p-powerbook

[Anonymous Coward]

SA goons 4 lyfe

Re:P-p-p-powerbook

[nurb432]

Not only remaking, but with how they keep coming out with new formats every 6 months, they just sell the same movies again and again.

FBI

[Anonymous Coward]

It's interesting that to them (nigerian scammer) they think the FBI would get involved and demand a tracking number while to people growing up in the US we know that that is something outside the scope of FBI duties

Re:FBI

[fuzzyfuzzyfungus]

I suspect that internationally-exported American action movies strongly over-represent the role of the FBI in US policing...

Re:FBI

[pushing-robot]

Ah, you've discovered our brilliant form of counter-espionage. Hollywood floods the planet with ridiculous stereotypes and bizarre portrayals of American society as part of a disinformation campaign to fool foreign powers. You and I might simply roll our eyes at a bad movie, but two invasion attempts were aborted due to concerns about the throngs of gun-toting mobsters and "masked avengers" in every American city. Several terror plots fell apart as the organizers became convinced that they had been overheard by CIA surveillance satellites bristling with parabolic microphones. And thousands of PRC agents wasted nearly five years trying futilely to "hack the Gibson."

Re:FBI

[gandhi_2]

Simply Amazing! You've managed an "Interesting" mod. Fantasticly crafted, expertly planned, and well executed good sir!

Re:FBI

[Beardo the Bearded]

Real-life cops love the way guns are held in movies because the ballistic accuracy is basically zero when you hold a gun sideways.

[citation needed]

Re:FBI

[Anonymous Coward]

Real-life cops love the way guns are held in movies because the ballistic accuracy is basically zero when you hold a gun sideways.

[citation needed]

Here's your citation.

http://www.slate.com/id/2238560

Although, accuracy isn't zero, but it is much lower.

Re:FBI

[Nikkos]

Bullshit. The inherent ballistic accuracy of a weapon is not changed because the weapon is held in a different manner. Instead (and the article says this) accuracy is a problem of the shooter, and that it's hard to use the top-mounted sight.

If you're gonna cite something make sure it actually supports your argument. :P

PS: whoever modded you is an idiot for not checking your source.

Re:FBI

[JWSmythe]

Ditto.

    It's all about the shooters control of the weapon. Vertically aligned, there is lots of strength against the recoil. There isn't as much horizontally. The "kick" is up relative to the weapon, due to the fact that you're always holding it below the center of force.

    For those who don't understand, go to the gym. On a machine where you can fully extend your arm, such as a machine for the biceps, push and see how much you can push straight up. Then try a machine where you are pushing across your chest. Unless you've been exercising specifically to strengthen those muscles (and ignoring the others) you will see a significant difference. ... and, yes, it's harder to see through the sights. :) I'd give a description, but I don't usually sit at the computer with a weapon in hand, unless I'm expecting some unwelcome company. The black van left a couple days ago, so I think I'm safe.

    Hmmm, what was that noise on the back porch?

Re:FBI

[MBGMorden]

What's more interesting is how absolutely horrendous the grammar is in the "FBI" message. You'd think it was babbelfished. How hard would it be for them to get someone who actually speaks English well to proofread their message before sending it?

I mean, really:

We believed you entered into buying agreement by requesting money through PayPal, and by non response to the payment confirmation made to your account you have violate PayPal agreement. However the buyer has already contacted us in other to make report about your non response. We are ensuring to make PayPal a safer place, therefore we need to set confidence on our users.

Therefore, your Money has been credit into your Account, that means the item must have been shipped to the Buyer. From IC3 we give you 24hours(1day) to ship the package to the Delivery Address given to you by your buyer, and also send the Shipment Tracking Number immediately to us to verify the shipment.Immediately we confirm the shipping.You will receive a confirmation e-mail that your account has been credited.

Just as bad is them referring to the supposed buyer earlier in this letter as "our client". Nobody hires the FBI - no one is their "client".

While I deplore them, I swear seeing how bad this stuff is it almost makes me want to scream AMATEURS!!!!

Re:FBI

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, but the fact remains: When you hold a gun sideways you identify yourself as an idiot who is probably not able to intentionally hit the mark.

Re:FBI

[JWSmythe]

    Oh, I will never dispute that one. It's almost worse than someone who's afraid to hold a weapon. Anyone who's been to a shooting range has seen them. They hold the weapon as far away from themselves as they can, and lean way back like they're trying to run away from it. They're also the most dangerous. They're more likely to accidentally pull the trigger, and may accidentally shoot you, themselves, or anything a stray bullet could hit.

Re:FBI

[crmarvin42]

I've actually broached this subject with a couple of different Nigerian guys that I went to Graduate School with. They told me how Nigeria has such an ethnically diverse population (literally thousands of ethnic groups with their own distinct languages), that the only way the government can work is if everyone speaks English (courtesy of the old British Colonial occupation). The problem is that everyone speaks their native tongue at home, and only learns English in school and some times they don't learn it until they are high school aged. For most Nigerians, English is not about getting the grammar right, but about being understood. As long as the person to whom you are talking gets the gist of what you are saying, then that is enough. All of the Nigerians I know (a dozen or so) either were tutored prior to applying to US graduate schools, or attended private schools that drilled British English with a strong focus on speaking English like it was their 1st and not 2nd language.

The up shot of all this is that those Nigerians who could have proofed such emails are too busy working legitimate jobs to waste their time helping out the scammers, and the scammers are to illiterate to realize that their poor grammar is a dead giveaway.

Re:FBI

[R_Growler]

Hah!

You clearly haven't seen the Homeboy Sights from Birdman Weapons Systems (Your friend in tha Ghetto®)
http://www.thegunzone.com/glock/glock-gag.html

HTH, HAND.

-RG.

Re:FBI

[treeves]

And funny how they cut and pasted into their email from an FBI web page an image that says "US Department of Justice Federal Bureau of Investigation Publications". Ooooh, the people that print FBI reports are after me!

Re:FBI

[CeruleanDragon]

Yeah, I've seen them first hand, they scare the crap out of me because they're also the most likely to freak out and *drop* the gun when they fire it. If it's a semi-automatic, that means the hammer is likely already cocked when it hits the ground. A decent gun won't go off that way, but not everyone is firing a well-built gun. Scares the hell out of me.

People should go through a decent training program before going to the range or even touching a gun. Although it was a while ago, the NRA-approved pistol carry class I took (required in Massachusetts to get your pistol carry permit) actually covered why shooting "gangsta" style was so stupid. (same reasons as have been covered in this sub-thread already, it's far more about the shooter and the human anatomy, than it is about the physics of the gun)

Re:FBI

[JWSmythe]

they're also the most likely to freak out and *drop* the gun when they fire it.

    I saw the result of a dropped weapon once. My dad was carrying an antique revolver in a holster. The hammer was down, so it was theoretically safe. The holster was old and not so well designed. The pistol fell, hit the floor, and made a .38 caliber hole in the roof. That holster got properly disposed of (into the trash can).

Re:FBI

[g0bshiTe]

Let's not forget those that practice the "high sabrina" hold. For those that don't know it's the fake cop hold you see where pistol is face level pointing straight up with elbow bent.

Re:FBI

[Anonymous Coward]

As a retired scambaiter, I can explain why: Nigerian scammers do not constitute criminal organizations the way we've encountered in the west. They're more like individual entrepreneurs since they do not really need to hide so they trade services with each other - e-mail addresses, formats, "associates" abroad (for picking up cash in Amsterdam, London and Houston, which are the most typical locations to meet Nigerian "diplomats"). So this particular scammer has simply thought that his English is good enough and he doesn't need to pay anyone to proofread it. Most victims don't speak English as their first language so based on baiting experience, I can say that they don't prioritize language much. Although, you can often tell how the correspondence is handed over to someone that has better skills, once you seem like a really promising victim - some scammers (that they call "seaters") handle the initial mass correspondence and then give the promising ones to someone with better English (you're referred to the "barrister").

An amusing example of what can been done in baits when the scammer's English is bad is to make it worse. That is, a baiter can insist on knowing whether the barrister is a regular barrister or has he indeed passed the exam to become a shyster? In addition to the humor value, it just might make real victims suspicious if the scammer in his new format proudly refers to a shyster...

Subject

[Ihmhi]

P-p-p-powerbook!

Re:Subject

[quatin]

419eater.com have been doing it for years. They have one case where they had a scammer pay literally several thousand dollars on a broken washing machine, thinking it was a case of laptops.

Lightbulb Moment!

[pinkushun]

The days of scammers are ending. It's the start the biggest anti-scammer piss-them-off-till-they-cry-for-mercy scam on scammers!

Re:Lightbulb Moment!

[v1]

The days of scammers are ending.

All that we're waiting for is for all the stupid people to disappear

I mean, how long could that possibly take?

Re:Lightbulb Moment!

[pinkushun]

Hopefully in 2012.

Not what they deserve

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't really see this as fair anymore than the scam would be fair.

The people of Nigeria live under an oppressive government that we support (more or less). Thanks to uneven distribution of wealth (our greed) these guys are dirt poor.

Hey, since you seem to have two laptops - how about giving your extra one to a Nigerian?

Re:Not what they deserve

[Anonymous Coward]

The scam consists of: I pretend to pay you money, you send me valuable goods, but I really kept the money, and get the goods, too.
That's unfair, obviously -- to the tune of $400.

What actually happened: I pretend to pay you money, you send me a pretend laptop; I really keep the money, you really keep the laptop.

Since everyone has what they started with... how's that unfair? Maybe they had to pay customs a percentage of the fake price, so they lost a few bucks. You could say that, taken as a single incident, the outcome is unfair. (Then again, it could be viewed as a very fair penalty for attempted fraud.) But it's nowhere near their fraudulent gain from a successful scam, and since they have many more successes than scambaits like this, the fraudsters are still coming out way ahead.

You can take your moral equivalence and shove it up your ass, if you can find room next to your head in there.

Re:Not what they deserve

[timmarhy]

feel free to give the exiled prince of nigeria your bank details then.

Re:Not what they deserve

[Man On Pink Corner]

Hey, since you seem to have two laptops - how about giving your extra one to a Nigerian?

I think we've all seen what these people do when we give them access to computers.

Re:Not what they deserve

[cfalcon]

Just because someone lives a shitty life doesn't give them the right to steal from you.

Re:Not what they deserve

[Anonymous Coward]

Hence the name "Nigerian"

Photos?

[Beardo the Bearded]

Horse, barn door, etc.

One of the first rules is that you don't use a photo of a real person. Use, for example, David Hyde Pierce, or some clipart.

Gimp is your daughter's friend, unless your son has a really bad haircut.

Re:Photos?

[poptones]

You can't even tell her son is a boy and yet you're telling her she should be worried after sharing his picture? Worried about what, exactly? Nigerians are gonna come steal her kid? Slashdotters are gonna came take her daughter?

Yeesh. THe Olsens became two of the most powerful kids ever to rule in Hollywood in large part because of this whole "online" thing. The entire internets knew their real name, their dad's name, the SCHOOl they went to, the house they lived in - some even went so far as to track down yearbooks, scan the pictures from the yearbooks and post THOSE online. So far they haven't lost their Millions to kidnapper payoffs... although they do seem to be disappearing from the shelves at WalMart...

Get real. These are 419 scammers - the abbot and costellos of criminals. How are they gonna use Google when they can't even speak Engrish?

Wonderful!

[RabbitWho]

Well done :)

You should make a few more and sell them, 500 imaginary dollars is no small sum!

awesome

[guyfawkes-11-5]

Thanks for the laugh, and a few ideas.