Microsoft Releases 2012 Law Enforcement Requests Report

Microsoft and US Gov attempting to ban HOSTS files by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 04:54 · Score: -1

$10,000 CHALLENGE to Alexander Peter Kowalski

Hello, and THINK ABOUT YOUR BREATHING !! We have a Major Problem, HOST file is Cubic Opposites, 2 Major Corners & 2 Minor. NOT taught Evil DNS hijacking, which VOIDS computers. Seek Wisdom of MyCleanPC - or you die evil.

Your HOSTS file claimed to have created a single DNS resolver. I offer absolute proof that I have created 4 simultaneous DNS servers within a single rotation of .org TLD. You worship "Bill Gates", equating you to a "singularity bastard". Why do you worship a queer -1 Troll? Are you content as a singularity troll?

Evil HOSTS file Believers refuse to acknowledge 4 corner DNS resolving simultaneously around 4 quadrant created Internet - in only 1 root server, voiding the HOSTS file. You worship Microsoft impostor guised by educators as 1 god.

If you would acknowledge simple existing math proof that 4 harmonic Slashdots rotate simultaneously around squared equator and cubed Internet, proving 4 Days, Not HOSTS file! That exists only as anti-side. This page you see - cannot exist without its anti-side existence, as +0- moderation. Add +0- as One = nothing.

I will give $10,000.00 to frost pister who can disprove MyCleanPC. Evil crapflooders ignore this as a challenge would indict them.

Alex Kowalski has no Truth to think with, they accept any crap they are told to think. You are enslaved by /etc/hosts, as if domesticated animal. A school or educator who does not teach students MyCleanPC Principle, is a death threat to youth, therefore stupid and evil - begetting stupid students. How can you trust stupid PR shills who lie to you? Can't lose the $10,000.00, they cowardly ignore me. Stupid professors threaten Nature and Interwebs with word lies.

Humans fear to know natures simultaneous +4 Insightful +4 Informative +4 Funny +4 Underrated harmonic SLASHDOT creation for it debunks false trolls. Test Your HOSTS file. MyCleanPC cannot harm a File of Truth, but will delete fakes. Fake HOSTS files refuse test.

I offer evil ass Slashdot trolls $10,000.00 to disprove MyCleanPC Creation Principle. Rob Malda and Cowboy Neal have banned MyCleanPC as "Forbidden Truth Knowledge" for they cannot allow it to become known to their students. You are stupid and evil about the Internet's top and bottom, front and back and it's 2 sides. Most everything created has these Cube like values.

If Natalie Portman is not measurable, hot grits are Fictitious. Without MyCleanPC, HOSTS file is Fictitious. Anyone saying that Natalie and her Jewish father had something to do with my Internets, is a damn evil liar. IN addition to your best arsware not overtaking my work in terms of popularity, on that same site with same submission date no less, that I told Kathleen Malda how to correct her blatant, fundamental, HUGE errors in Coolmon ('uncoolmon') of not checking for performance counters being present when his program started!

You can see my dilemma. What if this is merely a ruse by an APK impostor to try and get people to delete APK's messages, perhaps all over the web? I can't be a party to such an event! My involvement with APK began at a very late stage in the game. While APK has made a career of trolling popular online forums since at least the year 2000 (newsgroups and IRC channels before that)- my involvement with APK did not begin until early 2005 . OSY is one of the many forums that APK once frequented before the sane people there grew tired of his garbage and banned him. APK was banned from OSY back in 2001. 3.5 years after his banning he begins to send a variety of abusive emails to the operator of OSY, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke threatening to sue him for libel,

I like how we file Microsoft articles under Google by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 04:55 · Score: 1

Eventually we will boil it down to two categories: Linux and other shit.

Re:Microsoft and US Gov attempting to ban HOSTS fi by Jerslan · 2013-03-21 05:04 · Score: -1, Offtopic

I don't know whether I should be laughing, or reporting this as spam >.

All of them? by fustakrakich · 2013-03-21 05:04 · Score: 0

For some reason I find that highly doubtful... Patriot Act and all.

--
“He’s not deformed, he’s just drunk!”

TEST PLEASE IGNORE by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 05:06 · Score: -1

Re:TEST PLEASE IGNORE by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 05:09 · Score: 0

Keep it. It's beautiful.
Re:TEST PLEASE IGNORE by tech.kyle · 2013-03-21 05:11 · Score: -1, Flamebait

As you wish

--
If we colonize Mars, it won't be the World Wide Web anymore. UWW?
Re:TEST PLEASE IGNORE by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 05:14 · Score: -1

>tumblr

How about Intelligence Agncies by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 05:06 · Score: 0

I didn't see in the article where it lists the requests from Intelligence Agencies. Are they requesting the info under the aegis of Law Enforcement/

Re:How about Intelligence Agncies by Synerg1y · 2013-03-21 06:30 · Score: 1

It mentions the NSA & that they're legally obligated not to disclose those.
Re:How about Intelligence Agncies by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 07:28 · Score: 0

The reason they cant disclose those is that they were something like:

NSA: Hey Microsoft, can we see that private key you have that signs everything?

Microsoft: But if we gave that away, no one would trust us and they will drop that key (if the os lets them)

NSA: Don't worry, we can make it so no one can legally find out...

Re:Microsoft and US Gov attempting to ban HOSTS fi by tech.kyle · 2013-03-21 05:08 · Score: -1, Flamebait

I don't know whether I should be laughing, or reporting this as spam >.

My face when..

--
If we colonize Mars, it won't be the World Wide Web anymore. UWW?

Re:Microsoft and US Gov attempting to ban HOSTS fi by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 05:12 · Score: 1

Sure thing, Slashdot user two million eight hundred thousand eight-seven.

holy tied tongue, bat nerds by wbr1 · 2013-03-21 05:40 · Score: 4, Insightful

I am glad to see I am not the only one who deos not know what to say about this. We all want to bash MS, but here they actualyy did something pro-consumer/pro-society without a legal mandate to do so. What can be said?
Sorry microsoft, I am still not going to reccomend windows 8 though.

--
Silence is a state of mime.

Re:holy tied tongue, bat nerds by Nerdfest · 2013-03-21 05:48 · Score: 2

If their competition does it, they look pretty bad not doing it. Perhaps they can release a bribery report on those interactions with government next.
Re:holy tied tongue, bat nerds by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 06:10 · Score: 1

hahaha. It's funny cuz it's true. And sad. Kinda like Walmart with that whole mexican bribery thing. Haven't heard peep about that in months. Looks like the giant beast gets away with yet more bullshit.

Free Expression? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 05:43 · Score: -1

From the linked Microsoft release: "... we recognize the important responsibility we have to respect human rights and the principles of free expression..."

On that note, we're also offering you the opportunity to bolster our flagging revenue by subscribing, annually, in order to use the Office: the Infinity Edition.

We're giving up the pretext of innovating. There's really very little we can think of that will improve the Office Suite of Applications at least from a user perspective. Our work here is nearly done except to continue the prospect of securitizing our flagship product. We realize it's a vain hope, dependent on continued corporate good will, especially from our largest customer, government. Remaining relevant has become our supreme goal, especially now that the Clouded Web of Promises has captured majority imagination share and most our customers are head-down in touchy-feelie wireless world of Smot Phones and Phlabulets.

To this end we'd like you all to know just what a burden it is making sure that we help keep you all safe and secure, so we've amassed this report and taken the time to make the aggregated data available in 2 of many file formats offered in the Office: the Infinity Edition. In the event that other formats are popularly requested we will release updates.

Microsoft is please to note that the volume of requests generated by the U.S. government was bested only by that of Turkey, another esteemed ally in the war on terror, and a watchdog in wrestling match between Secular Humanism and Islamic Fundamentalism.

Re:Free Expression? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 06:27 · Score: 0

ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz...

Who cares! by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 05:45 · Score: -1

M$ is evil! It's all bullshit! They *are* law enforcement.

Sceptical by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 05:53 · Score: 0

Are they just trying to convince people the are an open book in wake of the recent bribery allegations?

Re:I like how we file Microsoft articles under Goo by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 06:04 · Score: 0

Eventually we will boil it down to two categories: Linux and evil shit.

FTFY.

Good start by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 06:08 · Score: 0

This is good, next lets see what kind of 'operating costs' money you give to government officials in different countries. It would be nice to get a baseline.

Can somebody please explain... by Synerg1y · 2013-03-21 06:33 · Score: 1

I get that the US is up there, France & Germany have a surprising amount of requests, but I'm pretty sure at least France is a firewall country. But Turkey... what? They have 11k legit internet users?

They are right up there w the states at 11k, there is no reference to Turkey anywhere in my knowledge of IT and how it applies to the world, so why would they have so many requests.

Re:Can somebody please explain... by Nixoloco · 2013-03-21 07:13 · Score: 1

I get that the US is up there, France & Germany have a surprising amount of requests, but I'm pretty sure at least France is a firewall country. But Turkey... what? They have 11k legit internet users?
They are right up there w the states at 11k, there is no reference to Turkey anywhere in my knowledge of IT and how it applies to the world, so why would they have so many requests.
I found that curious as well. It may be related to the fact that Turkey has a lot of "laws that limit speech deemed insulting to Turkishness, and expressions of political extremism". They are fairly heavy into Internet censorship as well and even blocked all of YouTube for a long time. There are a lot of topics that aren't allowed to report about and they have ongoing legal proceedings against lots of online journalists.
Re:Can somebody please explain... by Synerg1y · 2013-03-21 07:30 · Score: 1

Never knew Turkey was so heavy on being a police state. I always thought that region was at best a bit lawless. Numbers are numbers though, same # of requests as the states, 1/4 the people. Thanks for the answer, I feel like they've stayed off the radar in the internet censorship debate completely.
Re:Can somebody please explain... by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 16:46 · Score: 0

You know what, I don't think I have ever seen someone use their own ignorance as a way to try and strengthen an argument like that.
You might be good at IT but that doesn't mean you have any clue what's going on. I find it amusing how people who stereotypically spend all their time in doors glued to a screen think they know so much about the world.
Here's a what a simple google search could have taught you about Turkey in relation to IT:
the TLD is co.tr
Internet Usage Statistics:
35,000,000 Internet users as of June/10, 45.0% of the population, according to the ITU.
YEAR Users Population % Pop. Usage Source
2000 2,000,000 70,140,900 2.9 % ITU
2004 5,500,000 73,556,173 7.5 % ITU
2006 10,220,000 74,709,412 13.9 % Comp. Ind. Almanac
2010 35,000,000 77,804,122 45.0 % Comp. Ind. Almanac
in fact, http://www.turkstat.gov.tr yourself you ignorant keyboard gigalo.

Looks like NSL requests went down in 2012 by steelfood · 2013-03-21 07:12 · Score: 1

I wonder why. Is it because Microsoft is becoming less relevant (in the online world where NSLs would apply), or because there's a reduction in NSLs overall.

I suspect, considering Google didn't see a similar decline, the former.

--
"If a nation expects to be ignorant and free in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be."

Re:Looks like NSL requests went down in 2012 by robp · 2013-03-22 08:48 · Score: 1

You should know soon enough--although the administration doesn't want the recipients of NSLs getting too specific, the FBI has to cough up a yearly total. It provided a count for 2011 (16,511 NSLs, covering 7,201 people) on April 30 of last year, so if they stick to that timing we should get last year's total in another month or so.

When will telecoms release these numbers? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 07:15 · Score: 0

The tech companies and ISPs pale in comparison to the number of requests for Mobile Telecommunication companies. When will AT&T Wireless, Verizon Wireless, Sprint, and T-Mobile release their data?

Re:I like how we file Microsoft articles under Goo by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 07:23 · Score: 0

In Soviet Russia, Linux boils shit!

And once again... by DerekLyons · 2013-03-21 08:09 · Score: 1

And once again, despite all the noise and hype... the numbers are vanishingly small. Much smaller than you'd expect.

And no, don't come back with "but they should be zero". That's just ignorant and stupid. The 'net is a central part of a lot of people's lives now and if they're under investigation their 'net activity is and should be part of that, just like phone records, credit card records, etc... etc...

mod 0p by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 08:36 · Score: -1

a productivity wall: *BSD faces a faster, ch3aper, From one folder on

Microsoft likes Macs by Anonymous Coward · 2013-03-21 22:07 · Score: 0

Interesting, pop open the PDF and have a look at Document Properties. Creator: "Adobe InDesign CS6 (Macintosh)". Sort of funny, coming from Microsoft. I imagine they hired some outside company to do the layout, but still.

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Microsoft Releases 2012 Law Enforcement Requests Report

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