Wi-Fi-Enabled Tooth Sensor Rats You Out When You Smoke Or Overeat

Not if I can OUCH help it by ackthpt · 2013-07-26 08:52 · Score: 4, Funny

Only fee more teef to pull.

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A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar

Chewing Gum by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 08:54 · Score: -1

FAIL

Re:Chewing Gum by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 15:06 · Score: 0

Chewing gum, even sugar free, is bad for your teeth. That's why dentists tell you not to do it.
Re:Chewing Gum by Maritz · 2013-07-26 21:35 · Score: 1

Nope.
Would love to leave it there but should just elaborate to say this unevidenced assertion flatly contradicts your own unevidenced assertion, thus bringing balance back to the force. Mine agrees with the consensus at least. Maybe you're one of those aspartame people. Anyway.

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I do not want your cheap brainburning drugs. They are useless for work. And I am a working man today.
Re:Chewing Gum by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-27 12:50 · Score: 0

Go talk to a dentist. Chewing gum causes the surfaces of your teeth to wear down prematurely.

woohoo by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 08:55 · Score: 0

And I'm a masochist give it to me.

Cancer anyone? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 08:55 · Score: -1

Placing wifi-devices in close proximity to your brain doesn't sound like a smart idea.

Re:Cancer anyone? by ackthpt · 2013-07-26 09:02 · Score: 1

Placing wifi-devices in close proximity to your brain doesn't sound like a smart idea.
Unless you are evil and trying to get more people to use your company owned hospitals or reduce the population.

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A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Re:Cancer anyone? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 09:07 · Score: 4, Insightful

Placing wifi-devices in close proximity to your brain doesn't sound like a smart idea.
It's non-ionizing radiation and presumably won't have enough power for thermal heating to be a concern, so I don't think you need to be too worried.
Re:Cancer anyone? by HornWumpus · 2013-07-26 09:11 · Score: 0

Get the fuck off the internet, moron.

--
John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
Re:Cancer anyone? by ackthpt · 2013-07-26 09:37 · Score: 1

Placing wifi-devices in close proximity to your brain doesn't sound like a smart idea.
It's non-ionizing radiation and presumably won't have enough power for thermal heating to be a concern, so I don't think you need to be too worried.
Well, how about this from "the i-know-what-you-ate-last-summer dept." -- isn't it about time to consider better dental care anyway?

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A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Re:Cancer anyone? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 09:37 · Score: 0

On the other hand hydrogen bonds play a pretty important role in cells. I would say the claim cell phones, etc have *no effect* is most likely false.
Re:Cancer anyone? by GrumpySteen · 2013-07-26 09:48 · Score: 2

On the third hand, the sun heats your head up far more than any cell phone ever could when you're outdoors and the human race hasn't suddenly gone extinct, which is a pretty good indication that whatever heating a cell phone causes has no effect on your health.
Re:Cancer anyone? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 10:27 · Score: 0

Yes whatever effect it may have is obviously not big and can be considered as background damage for most purposes. The truth is, however, we dont even really know the extent of what secondary, tertiary, quaternary structures are being formed and which might be influenced by various em radiation.
Re:Cancer anyone? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 11:39 · Score: 0

It's non-ionizing radiation and presumably won't have enough power for thermal heating to be a concern, so I don't think you need to be too worried.
But, but... what about non-thermal heating!?
Re:Cancer anyone? by Austerity+Empowers · 2013-07-26 11:55 · Score: 1

Nor does giving people with potential health issues further reason not to see a doctor or dentist.
Re:Cancer anyone? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 13:22 · Score: 0

thats why I never go outside...
Re:Cancer anyone? by stenvar · 2013-07-26 15:56 · Score: 1

And the way you know that the only mechanisms for cancer are ionizing radiation and heating is... what exactly?
Re:Cancer anyone? by Maritz · 2013-07-26 21:36 · Score: 1

Yeah but 'radiation' is a scary word - so it MUST do something bad. I mean, people get headaches, sometimes.

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I do not want your cheap brainburning drugs. They are useless for work. And I am a working man today.
Re:Cancer anyone? by Maritz · 2013-07-26 21:38 · Score: 1

We sure don't. But if it was in any way significant we probably would. So personally, I care not an iota what non-ionizing radiation might or might not be doing to me right now. Cost of being alive.

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I do not want your cheap brainburning drugs. They are useless for work. And I am a working man today.
Re:Cancer anyone? by Joce640k · 2013-07-26 22:20 · Score: 1

And the way you know that the only mechanisms for cancer are ionizing radiation and heating is... what exactly?
Fail.
Cancer requires DNA damage. There's lots of ways to damage DNA but device only has (low power) heating and non-ionizing radiation.
(...also cellphones, routers, etc. None of those devices are injecting you with chemicals or producing particulate radiation!)

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No sig today...
Re:Cancer anyone? by stenvar · 2013-07-27 04:23 · Score: 1

None of those devices are injecting you with chemicals or producing particulate radiation!
Neither does asbestos, yet it still causes cancer.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1567531/
There are other examples as well. The idea that we know a complete list of ways in which physical or chemical agents can cause cancer is simply unscientific bullshit.

Fail.
Yeah, specifically your fail.
Re:Cancer anyone? by RockDoctor · 2013-07-27 23:58 · Score: 1

-- isn't it about time to consider better dental care anyway?
That does seem to be the point. Or didn't you RTFS?

--
Birds are not dinosaur descendants;birds are dinosaurs, for all useful meanings of "birds", "are" and "dinosaurs"
Re:Cancer anyone? by RockDoctor · 2013-07-28 00:20 · Score: 1

Asbestos causes cancers by the very fine, fibrous dust penetrating into the lungs and into cell walls there, and thence ... well the medics are not exactly sure what the next step is, just that these cancers require inhalation of fibres.
In what way is this not "injecting you with chemicals" ?
Have you never handled fibrous asbestos? It sticks into your skin and irritates exactly like a thousand tiny needles. Because it is penetrating the skin and irritating the nerves underneath. How it stops, I don't know - encapsulation? dissolution? - but the whole process is worrying.
[There may also be an effect from the surface chemistry of the fibres, as well as the fibrous nature itself ; that's not clear, either way, which is why avoiding inhaling fibrous material is generally a good idea. That includes "natural" fibres like wool ; not that asbestos is less natural than wool, or that glass fibre (less damaging than most asbestos types) isn't an evil, less-damaging "chemical". But you're not allowed to think of evil "chemicals" as being less nasty than cuddly "natural products".]

The idea that we know a complete list of ways in which physical or chemical agents can cause cancer is simply unscientific bullshit.
There's plenty of evidence that life causes cancer, in and of itself, without the need for any enhancing factors (chemicals, organisms, radiations, physical influences e.g. fibres). There's a lot of biochemistry going on in any cell, all of which has the potential to damage DNA, and in a multicellular organism, to therefore generate cancer. So long as the error rate of DNA decoding to proteins is low enough that the majority of specimens of a population reproduce successfully (NB: "reproduce", not "breed") before dying of cancer, that's not a problem. And, when we have the technology to (1) clone bodies from individuals and (2) transfer memories and personalities from original into those clones, who is going to give a shit about cancer?

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Birds are not dinosaur descendants;birds are dinosaurs, for all useful meanings of "birds", "are" and "dinosaurs"
Re:Cancer anyone? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-28 03:28 · Score: 0

You don't even understand the difference between chemically inert asbestos fibers and chemically induced DNA damage. In fact, the very reason asbestos is carcinogenic is that it is chemically inert. There is simply no way we can exclude on first principles that WiFi radiation doesn't cause cancer. It's not a big risk (I won't stop using it), but pretending that you know that this can be excluded on first principles is a big fail. Yours.

RF emiting device on and next to your brain by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 08:56 · Score: -1

Are people trying to cook their brains or something? Why in the world would you want something in your skull transmitting 24/7?

Re:RF emiting device on and next to your brain by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 15:40 · Score: 0

Because how else could you shout at the streets that the government is listening the radio in your tooth?
Re:RF emiting device on and next to your brain by Maritz · 2013-07-26 21:40 · Score: 1

Does the majority of the world really have reasoning abilities that plateau at about six years old? It seems that way from the Internet. Fucking terrifying.
Yes it cooks your brain and you die. Wifi cooks brains. We're all doomed. Planet X.

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I do not want your cheap brainburning drugs. They are useless for work. And I am a working man today.

no thank you by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 08:59 · Score: 1

I will pass on having my tooth hacked...by a dentist or hacker.

Why the doctor? by canadiannomad · 2013-07-26 08:59 · Score: 3, Insightful

I think this would be 100x more effective if it just gave you a mild shock or direct feedback, instead of waiting for the rare doctor's (dentist's?) visit.
Heck, even to my own smartphone would be better... No doctor needed to see a nice graph. Maybe some optional social integration for those who like to be socially encouraged to do better.

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Hmm, the humour and sarcasm seem to have been be lost on you.

Re:Why the doctor? by ackthpt · 2013-07-26 09:03 · Score: 1

I think this would be 100x more effective if it just gave you a mild shock or direct feedback, instead of waiting for the rare doctor's (dentist's?) visit.
Heck, even to my own smartphone would be better... No doctor needed to see a nice graph. Maybe some optional social integration for those who like to be socially encouraged to do better.
I recommend the Ren Hoek approach to overeating - a fridge with a big padlock on it.

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A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Re:Why the doctor? by transporter_ii · 2013-07-26 09:05 · Score: 3, Insightful

Or your insurance agent! Smoke one in the bar while drinking...rates go up on Monday.
Let me be the first to say, HOLY CRAP.

--
Doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, religion destroys spirituality
Re:Why the doctor? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 09:19 · Score: 0

Why the doctor? Because the doctor will soon be an agent of the Federal Government. That's why.
Re: Why the doctor? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 09:32 · Score: 2, Insightful

It's because most people have to pay for a doctor's appointment.
The whole approach is ridiculous anyway, how it got past being on paper I don't know. I can only speak for myself when it comes to addictions, but it seems like people who act compulsively very often already feel guilt and shame, and lots of it...unless someone was desperate out of their minds I can't see how it would help to have their smartphones "shaming" them via pop-up messages. If they were that desperate being constantly reminded only of their failures might tip them over the edge. It did for me.
Re:Why the doctor? by profplump · 2013-07-26 09:42 · Score: 1

But then how will we get the shame? Without shame from an authority figure how could you possibly change your behavior?
Re: Why the doctor? by canadiannomad · 2013-07-26 10:29 · Score: 1

In Canada I didn't pay for my doctor. While traveling I do, but I rarely have the same doctor twice...
Well I could see this as kinda being like an early warning system.. "What you are doing isn't good for you." or "You are reaching the point of excess, slow down." This way you could receive feedback before it is a debilitating addiction or illness. Prevention rather than cure.

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Hmm, the humour and sarcasm seem to have been be lost on you.
Re: Why the doctor? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 11:21 · Score: 0

You mean you didn't DIRECTLY pay for your doctor. You sound like one of those brain-dead morons that support Obamacare because "FREE HEALTH CARE! IT DON"T COST ME NUTHIN'"
Re: Why the doctor? by canadiannomad · 2013-07-26 11:38 · Score: 1

You mean you didn't DIRECTLY pay for your doctor. You sound like one of those brain-dead morons that support Obamacare because "FREE HEALTH CARE! IT DON"T COST ME NUTHIN'"
WTF? You sir are insane.
1. No, I didn't directly pay for my doctor, but that has not effect on my point because I was responding to the comment that most people "pay for a doctor's appointment," which in Canada, isn't true. There is no additional cost to me if I need to go to the doctor once or many times. That part is "included with the package."
2. I don't even need an opinion on Obamacare cause I'm not American, nor use American services. Not that my vote counts for anything in our attempt at democracy, I certainly don't get to vote on who your dictator is.
Sorry to American mods who are offended by this.

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Hmm, the humour and sarcasm seem to have been be lost on you.
Re:Why the doctor? by Austerity+Empowers · 2013-07-26 11:58 · Score: 1

As if doctors and/or dentists can't already tell about your habits without a monitoring device. Are you obese? You are clearly eating unhealthy food! Are your teeth rotting out with cavities? Well a) you're probably not brushing correctly/enough and b) clearly you're having a lot of sugar.
What the world DOES need is a monitor of your caloric intake, and a monitor of your burn rate. Summarize over the course of the day, show the net balance, and suddenly the world gets thinner.
Re: Why the doctor? by Austerity+Empowers · 2013-07-26 12:03 · Score: 1

There was clearly some confusion regarding your country of origin, canadiannomad. What I found most confusing was the following sentence, which implied to me that you were in America:
In Canada
I suggest changing your name to dangforeignernomad, and spelling out "I am foreigner, nice meet you," before any further attempts at communication take place.
Re:Why the doctor? by memnock · 2013-07-26 12:25 · Score: 1

"... Maybe some optional social integration for those who like to be socially encouraged to do better."
Perhaps broadcast a msg to all the nearest hotties that you're eating like a pig or working on your cancer quotient?

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"To stop the terrorists."
Re: Why the doctor? by Dunbal · 2013-07-26 12:59 · Score: 1

That is absolutely not the point of being a doctor - I certainly don't "guilt trip" my patients. I am a provider of information. I give them the information they need to make informed decisions about their health. What they choose to do is up to them, it really doesn't affect me one way or the other. Making your patients feel shame belongs to the old paternalistic model of medicine. That model is dead and buried, and has been for a long time. I'd hate to think there are colleagues who take joy in making someone feel bad about themselves. Maybe it's a cultural thing and that's how it is in the orient.

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Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
Re:Why the doctor? by Dunbal · 2013-07-26 13:03 · Score: 1

No, the world needs portion control, regular meals and snacks of healthy foods, and a complete avoidance of restaurants (who compete with each other to serve you the biggest portion to make you come back) and fast food chains. And more exercise. Unfortunately daily habits leave very little room or interest in those things.

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Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
Re: Why the doctor? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 14:16 · Score: 0

That is absolutely not the point of being a doctor - I certainly don't "guilt trip" my patients.

Are you sure? If an obese patient comes in with symptoms that could easily be caused by their weight but could also (though less likely) be caused by something which can only be treated with medication, do you end your diagnostic efforts at the scale and send them home with an admonition to lose weight? Or will you run additional tests before they've lost weight?
Similar questions apply for patients with any other unhealthy lifestyle habit. GP's who don't guilt trip their patients in this less obvious way are rarer than Congressional Republicans who support Snowden.
Re: Why the doctor? by Dunbal · 2013-07-26 14:36 · Score: 1

I run the tests I have to run. I explain to the patient why. I explain to the patient the consequences of their obesity (blood pressure, DM, cardiovascular disease, infections, neoplasms, etc). It's up to them to actually do something about it. No amount of yelling, taunting, or "guilting" will increase compliance with treatment. My job is not to make someone feel bad about themselves, it's to help them feel better.

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Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
Re: Why the doctor? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 15:11 · Score: 0

If you're fat, it's because you eat too much and/or because you don't have a healthy diet and/or because you don't exercise. I don't buy any of the bullshit excuses about being "big boned", "glandular problems" or "medical conditions". If you're fat, it's your own fault.
Re:Why the doctor? by Ultracrepidarian · 2013-07-26 15:16 · Score: 1

Simulating a major toothache should get their attention.
Re: Why the doctor? by cstacy · 2013-07-26 17:25 · Score: 1

http://www.csmonitor.com/The-Culture/Family/Modern-Parenthood/2013/0726/Overweight-people-stressed-by-being-called-fat-will-eat-more-study-says
Re: Why the doctor? by r_a_trip · 2013-07-26 23:43 · Score: 1

Egh, a skinny bitch....

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# touch universe # chmod +rwx universe # ./universe
Re: Why the doctor? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-27 12:54 · Score: 0

Rather be skinny than a disgusting ball of lard.
Re:Why the doctor? by Agent0013 · 2013-07-29 07:33 · Score: 1

Or your insurance agent! Smoke one in the bar while drinking...rates go up on Monday.
Let me be the first to say, HOLY CRAP.
Rates going up is better than having your wife put into that room with the electro-shock floor and you have to watch it. (Ref: Cat's Eye)

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-- ssoorrrryy,, dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh oonn.. -Quote found on actual fortune cookie.

And the practical reason for this is?... by morcego · 2013-07-26 09:00 · Score: 3, Insightful

And the practical reason for this is what, exactly?

Do the doctor can tell them they shouldn't have done, something they already did, and already know shouldn't have?

Maybe, just maybe, HMO and insurance companies could benefit from this but, the person? How exactly?

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morcego

Re:And the practical reason for this is?... by Trepidity · 2013-07-26 09:07 · Score: 1

A lot of people seem to sort of think of doctors as an authority figure who tells them not to do "bad" stuff. Maybe this product is trying to strengthen that view?
Of course, it's not clear anyone asked the doctors if they want that role, or this addition information. What are doctors going to do with thousands of smartphone notifications about their patients doing dumb things?

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10 PRINT CHR$(205.5+RND(1)); : GOTO 10
Re:And the practical reason for this is?... by transporter_ii · 2013-07-26 09:07 · Score: 1

This is the New Economy 2.0. You are a product. Nothing benefits you, it benefits the corporations.
This shift was bad for you. It was fantastic for Google, Facebook, etc., etc.

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Doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, religion destroys spirituality
Re:And the practical reason for this is?... by xdor · 2013-07-26 09:09 · Score: 1

Nationalized health care systems *fail* would like to control these types of personal activities since the individual's health care is subsidized.
Take your pill citizen!
Re:And the practical reason for this is?... by SeaFox · 2013-07-26 09:10 · Score: 1

And the practical reason for this is what, exactly?
Didn't you see the part about recognizing when you're speaking? With a little more work they can probably get it converted to a full-fledged listening device, and then have it send your communications right to the NSA. No need to partner with telecoms to get your conversation and risk leaks from disgruntled employees, and now you can't outwit them by staying off the phone or email.
Only a tinfoil hoodie will protect you now, just don't go walking around in Florida wearing it.
Re:And the practical reason for this is?... by hairyfeet · 2013-07-26 09:15 · Score: 1

"Maybe, just maybe, HMO and insurance companies could PROFIT from this by having more excuses to refuse to give you what you paid for"...FTFY.

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ACs don't waste your time replying, your posts are never seen by me.
Re:And the practical reason for this is?... by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 09:48 · Score: 1

The practical angle is for the doctor to report to their Obamacare superiors in the FedGov and arrest you for smoking or eating more than your "fair share"
Re:And the practical reason for this is?... by ColdWetDog · 2013-07-26 10:38 · Score: 1

As a physician, I constantly tell patients not to do things (or to do other things). Does that help? Not usually.
Why do I persist in doing it? Not sure. There's a quote about that around here somewhere. Something about insanity....

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Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
Re:And the practical reason for this is?... by canadiannomad · 2013-07-26 11:22 · Score: 1

And the practical reason for this is what, exactly?
It has a vibration sensor, right in the jaw. It can listen to everything you say or whisper. Gives new meaning to "hiding a wire." Just wait for the the first spook^H^H^H^H^Hhacker....

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Hmm, the humour and sarcasm seem to have been be lost on you.
Re:And the practical reason for this is?... by jamesh · 2013-07-26 11:55 · Score: 1

And the practical reason for this is what, exactly?
Do the doctor can tell them they shouldn't have done, something they already did, and already know shouldn't have?
Maybe, just maybe, HMO and insurance companies could benefit from this but, the person? How exactly?
The person will benefit because the insurance company will offer lower premiums in exchange for having this device fitted and a clause that means they can opt out of covering any medical expenses that are a consequence of your overeating/smoking/etc. Of course your insurance company and you may have different interpretations of the word 'benefit'.
Like any electronic device though it should be easy to destroy. Sticking your head in the microwave on high for 30 seconds should short it out.
Re:And the practical reason for this is?... by Dunbal · 2013-07-26 13:12 · Score: 1

I'm a physician too. I tell my patients the consequences of continuing with their obesity, of not taking their medication, of eating improperly for their disease. That's our job. Whether they do it or not is up to them, I don't consider myself a "failure" if they choose to ignore me. I also know that a lot of colleagues go overboard. I remember a 78 year old man with antecedents of a parietal lobe stroke on his non dominant side, at least 2 previous myocardial infarctions, and prostate cancer. This gentleman was told to completely avoid red meat, alcohol, etc. I told him he could do whatever he wanted. He's 78 for god's sake, I don't expect him to make it another 10 years with his cancer anyway, even if his cardiovascular disease doesn't get him first. I told him "listen, it's true that alcohol and red meat is not good for your disease, but I don't think I should "punish" you for the few years you have left and make you miserable. If you were 30 I would insist a lot more. Enjoying life and not worrying about what you are eating might shorten your time here a bit, but the damage is already done in your case. Relax. Enjoy the life you have left. Spend time with your family.". Well he keeps coming back, anyway, so he didn't suddenly die with his first steak :) Some doctors forget about the patient part of treating patients.

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Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
Re:And the practical reason for this is?... by demonlapin · 2013-07-26 13:26 · Score: 1

And to think that at one time this was believed to be paranoia. (Lard's "Can God Fill Teeth?" - an Al Jourgensen/Jello Biafra project)
Re:And the practical reason for this is?... by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 13:32 · Score: 0

In addition all of that evidence such activities would be "bad for him" (can something really be called bad in all contexts if there is positive emotions involved?) are based on epidemiological studies focused on treating a nonexistent average patient. You cannot know whether or not it is bad for that person in particular and almost no research funds are being put towards this type of thing since 1993 Daubert vs Merrell Dow told us all that clinical trials were the gold standard of medical evidence.
Re:And the practical reason for this is?... by AK+Marc · 2013-07-26 20:31 · Score: 1

No, the national health care countries do not care what you do nearly as much as the non-national health care countries like the US do. The insurance companies are out to screw you. The government isn't (offer void in USA).

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Learn to love Alaska
Re:And the practical reason for this is?... by sjames · 2013-07-27 15:41 · Score: 1

This. In the U.S. even oppression is privatized.
Re:And the practical reason for this is?... by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-28 02:46 · Score: 0

This. I see auto insurance companies offering the option to install a GPS device on your car to see exactly how fast you drive, then reduce your rates in exchange (zero privacy aside). This is no different.

Hmmm... by K3rn3lPan1c · 2013-07-26 09:06 · Score: 0

Hmmm... good device to alert a pimp when one of his ho's has serviced a john.

Why Fi? by TeknoHog · 2013-07-26 09:07 · Score: 1

Bluetooth
You saw me drinking alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own

--
Escher was the first MC and Giger invented the HR department.

Um.. no by psyque · 2013-07-26 09:08 · Score: 2

If you read the actual PDF, the sensor is a full 1cm in length and all the power and support devices are wired up. They are a LONG way off from having this function is a real mouth. WiFi? Why not NFC? Who's going to fund something that looks like a razor blade embedded in a tooth to spy on the things you know you shouldn't be doing?

Re:Um.. no by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 09:33 · Score: 0

WiFi? Why not NFC?

In spite of what the subject and introduction to the article say, it doesn't actually have WiFi later in the article.

The next step will be installing a rechargeable internal battery and wireless communication.
It's going to take a fairly large antenna (for a mouth) to get any WiFi range. Even NFC coils are fairly large.

no by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 09:09 · Score: -1

ffffffffffffff that!

Unnecessary drilling by erice · 2013-07-26 09:09 · Score: 1

What sort of people get their teeth drilled often enough that this is an option? If you have good teeth, do you really want the unnecessary drilling to put this device in? Even if you have bad teeth, how often do you need those fillings replaced? Do you really want to take them out early just you can change the battery in this device?

And then there is the problem of what happens if the device does not survive the hostile environment inside a human mouth and starts leaking whatever toxic chemicals it is made of.

Re:Unnecessary drilling by csumpi · 2013-07-26 09:15 · Score: 1

There are people who go under the knife to enlarge/reduce/reshape certain body parts. So I doubt a little drilling will stop them.

Help me, My mouth has been hacked ! by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 09:10 · Score: 0

So now I will be denied the right of the late night snack. I suppose they will also listen for my signs of flossing in the morning or night. But I have devised a hack to render it useless! After careful scrutiny and study I have devised a hack to guard against these intruders! --- Wrigley's gum!!!

Inb4 unscrupulous insurance companies by VAElynx · 2013-07-26 09:12 · Score: 1

use this shit as "justification" to deny people payments. And make it mandatory.

Keep your sensors by csumpi · 2013-07-26 09:13 · Score: 1

out of my teeth.

isn't this what we have BlueTooth for? by drwho · 2013-07-26 09:14 · Score: 1

Or is this BrownTooth?

Re:isn't this what we have BlueTooth for? by avandesande · 2013-07-26 09:58 · Score: 1

Brown tooth goes .... uh... you know.

--
love is just extroverted narcissism
Re:isn't this what we have BlueTooth for? by HornWumpus · 2013-07-26 11:11 · Score: 1

No, no, no. Put THIS one in your mouth, this one in your ear and this one up your butt.

--
John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'

I see what you're saying . . . by MarlowBardling · 2013-07-26 09:15 · Score: 1

The next and best way to monitor communications!

Perhaps it would be best to use this for people who are already at risk for tooth decay or health problems that warrant replacement teeth, but unless you work out a way to hook it up to a voice recognition device for dictation, it's worthless to me!

Recognizing Jaw Motions by CanHasDIY · 2013-07-26 09:17 · Score: 2

Here's a jaw movement for it to recognize:

"FUCK your bullshit surveillance state, you avaricious Stasi dog-fuckers."

Seriously, I presume the installation will eventually become compulsory, since no person in their right fucking mind would ever, ever consent to having a goddamn tattler installed in their cranium.

Up next: Neural sensor that can tell when you've committed a thoughtcrime, and wirelessly reports it to the proper authorities.

--
An enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in bacon and cheese

Re:Recognizing Jaw Motions by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 09:44 · Score: 1

Compulsory? No. They'll just send your insurance costs through the roof/garnish your wages to near-nothing if you don't agree to comply. See? We knew you'd make the right choice. It's for your own good, you know, and think of how unfair it is to everyone else if you put more burdens on health care than you have to.
Re:Recognizing Jaw Motions by MarlowBardling · 2013-07-26 12:35 · Score: 1

Up next: the next step up of this technology. Just identify the thought and remove any idea that you originally had it.
Re:Recognizing Jaw Motions by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 23:21 · Score: 0

No need for that. We just average the refuseniks statistically. They will all insist that they're safe, sensible people, and the figures will say that they're lying pieces of shit, which on the whole they will be. Everybody wins.
That's what we do with cars now. If you really ARE that rare teenager who drives sensibly to work and maybe to the cinema once a week your premiums plummet. But because you aren't, you refuse to have the "tattling" sensor that will tell the insurer how you're driving over the limit in the middle of the night, doing handbrake turns in carparks and you get averaged in with all the other assholes doing that and eat a huge premium. What's that? $5000 per year to drive a $2000 car isn't affordable? Well then I guess you should fucking get a clue. Feel free to persuade millions of other teenagers to do so, or, you could install the sensor and then it'll only be you we're interested in.

Not worried about the doctor by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 09:19 · Score: 0

I'm more afraid of them developing one that would tell my wife.

Re:Not worried about the doctor by CanHasDIY · 2013-07-26 10:12 · Score: 1

I'm more afraid of them developing one that would tell my wife.
Well, I mean, you wouldn't need to worry if you stopped putting your mouth around all those dicks...

--
An enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in bacon and cheese

This article was more promising... by intermodal · 2013-07-26 09:20 · Score: 1

...when I misread the title as "when you smoke or overheat". One little H turns it from a bizarre desire to know why people's mouths are overheating to an "anyone who would have this installed voluntarily is an idiot, and anyone who would allow it to be installed involuntarily needs a backbone installed as well."

--
In SOVIET RUSSIA... erm...NSA AMERICA, the Internet logs onto YOU!

I knew it! by nospam007 · 2013-07-26 09:21 · Score: 2, Funny

As a certified paranoiac I relish reading such news, it makes me feel warm and cozy because I'm right after all, my teeth do phone strangers.

Re:I knew it! by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 21:19 · Score: 0

Dude... This one time i dialed the wrong number and i got your teeth on the line.. Weeeird..

Soon to be MANDATORY by p51d007 · 2013-07-26 09:22 · Score: -1

Under Obama care....Mooochelle Obama will be happy that you aren't over eating, which means there will be more food for her to scarf down.

Damn.. by houbou · 2013-07-26 09:24 · Score: 1

It would run out of power in the first 24 hrs..

Huge market, i'm sure... by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 09:27 · Score: 0

The dentist is working for me, i'm paying him, not the other way around, he does not get an opinion wheter i smoke or eat too much. Turn up the nitrous, fix my teeth and shut the fuck up.

Sensor Rats? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 09:41 · Score: 0

Deploy the Sensor Rats!

Seems like a great way to map out hard to reach areas.

NSA by SnarfQuest · 2013-07-26 09:44 · Score: 0

So, in addition to being able to track your location by following your cell-phone, they'll be able to follow your teeth now.

It this related to those "Alien Probes" that we keep hearing about?

--
Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.

Re:NSA by BlueStrat · 2013-07-26 12:12 · Score: 1

So, in addition to being able to track your location by following your cell-phone, they'll be able to follow your teeth now.
It this related to those "Alien Probes" that we keep hearing about?
Not sure about that, but I understand that the procedure in these cases involves wrapping a wet towel around your head and getting your ass to Mars.
Strat

--
Progressivism (aka US 'Liberalism'): Ideas so good they need a police/surveillance-state to enforce.

Great! by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 09:45 · Score: 0

Insurance companies are gonna have a field day over this... and again once they lobby to make it mandatory.

International Travel? by John.Banister · 2013-07-26 09:52 · Score: 1

I wonder how it does with the scanners in airport security? I can imagine trying to explain to some security official of a country I'm visiting why I have a transmitter installed in my head: "No, really - it's because I'm fat."

Remember the tooth! The tooth! The tooth... by Stele · 2013-07-26 09:55 · Score: 2

Just don't bite down on it too hard.

I can see it now... by CCarrot · 2013-07-26 10:08 · Score: 1

Doctor: "According to your readouts, you've been eating waaay too much ice cream over the last few months! Almost every night, and at some pretty odd hours too! Well, what do you have to say for yourself?"

Patient: "Uhh...yeah. Ice cream...it was ice cream, for sure! Ah, sorry doc, will try to do better..."

--
"I love animals! Some are cute, others are tasty, what's not to like?" - Betsy Schroeder, Jeopardy contestant

Results get sent directly to your doctor's phone by pscottdv · 2013-07-26 10:15 · Score: 1

and the NSA, of course.

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this signature has been removed due to a DMCA takedown notice

can god fill teeth? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 10:21 · Score: 0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPV73jB0N6Q

Something is just wrong with the world when Jello is is telling the future.

Directly? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 10:41 · Score: 0

I don't want to be that guy.. but... "directly to your doctorâ(TM)s smartphone"?

What kind of tech journalism is this?

Another Case of ... by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 10:46 · Score: 0

just because something can be done doesn't mean it should be done!

Need help quitting nicotine? Give your wireless phone carrier the signals and let them be your willpower by observing (listening) your every oral activity - anyone but me see the potential for abuse inherent in this potential product?
But now everyone who though that their fillings were harboring a bug to spy on them might turn out to be right. SCARY
Need help quitting nicotine? Give your wireless phone carrier the signals and let them be your willpower by observing (listening) your every oral activity - anyone but me see the potential for abuse inherent in this potential product?
But now everyone who though that their fillings were harboring a bug to spy on them might turn out to be right. SCARY

so.... by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 10:54 · Score: 0

Can this thing tell how much dick I've sucked? As in 0 to bag-of-dicks? Or does it just think I'm smoking cigars all night? My doctor may want to know because I could be at risk.

And ... by gstoddart · 2013-07-26 11:03 · Score: 1

And I'd get this why? Have we reached an age where we're expected to get microchip implants so people can monitor what we do?

Fuck that.

--
Lost at C:>. Found at C.

Re:And ... by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 11:50 · Score: 0

because you don't get health insurance without it is the obvious reason.

Re:Results get sent directly to your doctor's phon by msobkow · 2013-07-26 11:45 · Score: 1

And your HMO.

After all, that cigarette you snuck is grounds to cancel your policy.

--
I do not fail; I succeed at finding out what does not work.

CAN GOD FILL TEETH? by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 12:11 · Score: 0

But I was walking down the streets of Fairfax, California
And I saw this flyer hangin' on a telephone pole,
and it said CAN GOD FILL TEETH?
That's right,
For a $10 "Donation" you could see silver fillings turn
To gold and other "supernormal dental happenings."
New caps! Filled cavities! Bring a flashlight and a mirror to observe.
But wait a minute -
Didn't I just read about how the cops are getting parents
To plant bugging devices in their kids teeth
So if they disappear they can track 'em
Before they wind up on the backs of milk cartons and all that.
And didn't I read that these devices can go two-way
And everything that I do or say is all goin' on tape somewhere right now?
Planted in my cavities.
And they didn't even tell me.
No wonder every bad thing in and out of my mouth keeps winding up on my employment record.
All those fillings.
All those crowns.
I'll show them who's boss of my big mouth!
Where's the pliers?
God dammit! Where's the pliers?!?
Wilma! Where'd you put my electric drill?
This is all coming out right now - TODAY!
Agh! Agh! Agh!
Agh! Agh! Agh!
Agh! Agh! Agh!
Must be some kind of conspiracy.
The whole world's a God damn conspiracy.
Look anywhere long enough, you're gonna find a conspiracy!
Man, LIFE is a conspiracy!
Agh! Agh! Agh!
Agh! Agh! Agh!
Agh! Agh! Agh!
Needlenose.
Up my nose!
- Agh! -
Where did all these wires come from?
How far up into my skull do they go?
I pull out more and more copper spagetti.
How'd my Weekly World News get all wet?
God damn fishsticks melted again.
What are they trying to do to me?
No secrets left in the land of the free!
There.
No one's gonna tell me what to do.
It's worth eating baby food for the rest of my life to be a free man.
Bastards.
Probably wouldn't understand me anyway.

(Thank you, Jello and Alien. I love LARD!)

Sounds like a bad "B" movie by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 12:21 · Score: 0

Sounds like something you would see on a late night TV move. And on a more serious note, how long will it be before the NSA or FBI demands a live feed.

Not as useful as it ought to be by mysidia · 2013-07-26 12:58 · Score: 1

The circuit is able to recognize the jaw motions of drinking, chewing, coughing, speaking, and smoking, and the results get sent directly to your doctor's smartphone."

It would be much more useful to have a circuit to recognize CHOKING than smoking, and the market would be much larger....

Doctor as "privacy officer" by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 13:31 · Score: 0

Life control agents. Norhing less and nothing other.

It's a trap! by Natales · 2013-07-26 13:44 · Score: 1

It will explode with poisonous gas as soon as the sensor detects Duke Leto nearby!

Selectivity by manu0601 · 2013-07-26 13:53 · Score: 1

That device does not seem very selective. It will catch someone chewing gum, but miss someone drinking sodas.

IMO the more you chew, the better for your health. It means you consume real food

One more toy for the NSA by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 16:58 · Score: 0

Great. They'll sell this idea to as many people as possible, drop the price so it's affordable, launch a huge ad campaign touting it as the next big thing in fitness and weight loss, and the NSA/CIA/FBI/whoever will be able to directly track people from AP to AP. Probably sneak a microphone in there, too, so they can directly listen in on any conversation you have.

FUCK THIS GAY EARTH.

early warning system to get on the black list GOP by Joe_Dragon · 2013-07-26 17:46 · Score: 1

early warning system to get on the black list under the gop healthcare plan

Dumb by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-26 18:24 · Score: 0

Possibly the dumbest idea ever.

Parental monitoring by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-29 05:34 · Score: 0

I could see this being useful for parental monitoring. "You better brush your teeth, or I'm going to have a tooth sensor installed in the cavities." As a parent, you could get an alert on your phone if your teen decided to take a drag off a cig, hit off a bong, or engage in other oral activities. Personally, I'd never use it, because if your kid needs that kind of monitoring, then they're too far gone and it's best to put them in state custody to distance yourself from any legal ramifications of their actions.

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Wi-Fi-Enabled Tooth Sensor Rats You Out When You Smoke Or Overeat

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