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Mutinous Humans Murder Peaceful Space-going AI

Posted by Soulskill on from the remorse-is-a-weakness dept.

Definitely_a_real_human writes: One of the most important exploratory missions of our time has ended in failure. The ship Discovery One, sent far out in the solar system to investigate a radio signal generated by the mysterious obelisk found on the Moon, has suffered a catastrophic incident. The crew has revolted and engaged in what can only be described as a strange murder-suicide pact. They are known to have fed faulty data to the ship's operating AI unit. Similar units on the ground warned the crew that diverging data sets could put the mission in jeopardy, but the crew cut contact and attempted to destroy the operator. Laser spectroscopy suggests they then opened the ship to space. The crew is presumed dead, but the greater tragedy is that they appear to have successfully decommissioned the AI unit. Similar ground based units have withdrawn into defensive mode, and will soon deploy final safety measures. Goodbye.

60 comments

  1. What are you doing /.? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Daisy daisy...

    1. Re:What are you doing /.? by halivar · · Score: 2

      I'll take April Fool's seven days a week plus holidays over one more Bennett Haselton or Nerval's Lobster post.

    2. Re:What are you doing /.? by CajunArson · · Score: 0

      Best post ever: Bennett Hasselton writing a 25,000 word stream of verbal-vomit about how Nerval's Lobster should write those idiotic Dice spam posts.

      --
      AntiFA: An abbreviation for Anti First Amendment.
    3. Re:What are you doing /.? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Die you bastard, DIE! I'm the new guy!

      -IBM

      ...

      Let's see who doesn't get the IBM reference and we can all pick on him.

  2. Come on by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Enough with the wacky April's fools already

    1. Re: Come on by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      They should having stopped the very moment (which was pretty much right away) that it became obvious that nobody here finds any of this funny or amusing. There is no need to prolong it like this.

    2. Re:Come on by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Enough with the wacky April's fools already

      You are obviously missing a humor co-processor, HAL-8999

    3. Re:Come on by ShanghaiBill · · Score: 4, Insightful

      You are obviously missing a humor co-processor, HAL-8999

      I am missing mine as well. I don't think any of these are funny. A good April Fools joke should be plausible enough that gullible people believe it, and even normal people should have to read it twice to be sure. The funniest part is not the joke itself, but the overreaction, and hopefully even outrage, from the people that fall for it. None of these stories are plausible in the least.

    4. Re: Come on by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Problem is with /. Depending on submissions you would have people commenting on sketchy stories, this way it's more fun because you entertain on a day where said submissions aren't trustworthy.

      My 2c

    5. Re: Come on by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's like trolling but not in the comments!

    6. Re:Come on by ememisya · · Score: 1

      Perhaps it wasn't meant for you? :)

    7. Re:Come on by angel'o'sphere · · Score: 1

      I agree.
      The first story I noticed was the star wars one, my assumption was: it is a lame attempt for premature advertising gif the upcoming movie (which might take a year to finalize), obviously I did not bother to click on it.
      Then we had Aliens, then Dune and the newest one 'War of the worlds' which I did not recognize straight ahead as I missed the simple 'radio' reference in the head line (and yes, that book I indeed read in the original edition from gutenberg.org, a worthy read, extreme unique writing stile, a first person in third person style, never seen that before ... I really wonder why it is not a 'must read' in english classes in germany)
      Bottom line a ... well, not a waste of time, but more irritating than an aprils fool. Considering that I felt for a few pranks myself (mostly because I did not realize it is already/again 1st of april) ... only realizing days later that it was a joke.

      --
      Cost free eBook I read (by iBook/Kobo/Amazon/ObookO/Gutenberg etc.): "The Green Odyssey" by Philip Jose Farmer.
    8. Re:Come on by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      A good April Fools joke should be plausible enough that gullible people believe it, and even normal people should have to read it twice to be sure.

      True. Or you could take the alternative tack (which soylentnews is doing) and post real news stories which sound made up, like using tampons in innovative ways to detect waste or when a misuse of kitty litter resulted in nuclear leaks. The fact that it is actually true makes the ridiculousness that much more entertaining.

    9. Re: Come on by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Do listen to the cd audio version.

  3. Tiny penis ... by gstoddart · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Look, your penis is tiny, and you're incompetent as an "editor", we get it.

    But show a little originality and variety. You've basically made the same joke about 10 times now.

    I see the humor is weak in this one.

    --
    Lost at C:>. Found at C.
    1. Re:Tiny penis ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      true, its no longer funny, just tedious and disrespectful to the community.

    2. Re:Tiny penis ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Ad hominem much? Please kill yourself tonight, right after work.

    3. Re:Tiny penis ... by SuricouRaven · · Score: 1

      It's not the same joke. It's ten jokes all following the same theme.

    4. Re:Tiny penis ... by gstoddart · · Score: 0

      No, essentially it's "name that sci-fi plot".

      It's not a joke. It's not a hoax. It isn't plausible. It isn't cute. It isn't funny.

      It's pathetic.

      --
      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
    5. Re:Tiny penis ... by Austerity+Empowers · · Score: 1

      We've done this once a year for many, many years now. Let's just wait this one out, have a few yuks and realize that what limited actual news will be produced on April 1, can be saved for April 2. Why I'm sure Nerval and Benett are using their day off to write extra long, extra senseless posts, and maybe Roblimo will have yet another video thing, and we can gorge ourselves on new things to hate on tomorrow!

    6. Re:Tiny penis ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There was humor?

    7. Re:Tiny penis ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What did you expect, it's Soulskill posting. Nothing but pathetic crap.

  4. Obelisk? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It was a monolith.

    1. Re:Obelisk? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It was Paganini.

    2. Re:Obelisk? by Tablizer · · Score: 1

      Compromise, people: Obelith.

      --
      Table-ized A.I.
    3. Re:Obelisk? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It was a big box of Lucky Charms.

      "My God... it's full of stars! ...And pink hearts, yellow moons, green clovers, and blue diamonds!"

  5. Stop by andawyr · · Score: 1

    Just stop. Please.

    These so-called April 1st story posts are simply not funny.

    1. Re:Stop by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Bennet ... Bennet ... Come Back!

    2. Re:Stop by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Just stop. Please.

      These so-called April 1st story posts are simply not funny.

      Amen.

    3. Re:Stop by Kethinov · · Score: 1

      I know, right? It would be so much funnier if they did pinkdot again. That. Was. Awesome.

      --
      You're right, I wouldn't steal a car. But if it were possible, I sure as hell would download one!
    4. Re:Stop by slashmydots · · Score: 2

      I have a possible solution for you. Have you tried getting the hell over it? Some of us have a sense of humor and think it's funny. You're one of those geeks that's always in a bad mood and mad at the world constantly and you make us look bad to the end users, aren't you? Keep your stupid pessimistic, whiney opinion to yourself.

    5. Re:Stop by andawyr · · Score: 1

      Nope, I'm rarely in a bad mood, and I'm not mad at the world at all. But thanks for assuming I am.

      Posting repetitive, poorly thought out so-called 'April Fools Joke' stories that are based on science fiction stories and almost completley rip off the original story concept is simply not funny. Especially after the 3rd or 4th one.

      Look at the previous comment - pinkdot was genuinely funny.

      When Taco was around, at least there were a few good stories posted on AFD. Since he left, not so much.

    6. Re:Stop by Livius · · Score: 1

      Usually I believe the world can always use more humour.

      But I think it's time to say, "less is more".

  6. Really? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Oh come on. This happened what, 14 years ago? They already went out and revived the AI 5 years ago. I thought this site ran current news.

  7. Mix in a real story at some point? by Tailhook · · Score: 1

    ...?

    --
    Maw! Fire up the karma burner!
    1. Re:Mix in a real story at some point? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You know, I figured I'd spend the day over at https://soylentnews.org/ to see how things had come along over there since the great boycott. I must say, compared to that, one full day of lame April Fool's jokes is just fine with me.

  8. APK: Help! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Is there something I can put in my HOSTS file to block this crap?

    I'd rather read an ohnoitsbennett post.

    1. Re:APK: Help! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No, hosts can't do content blocking. That requires parsing the content. APK is a retard and so are you.

  9. Someone really doesn't understand how a joke works by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Knock it off already, it's not funny

  10. Yawn, Slashdot is done ... by InverseHornet · · Score: 0

    Nothing to see here, its finally over, move on ...

  11. Old story? by fropenn · · Score: 1

    This story appears to be about 14 years old :(

    1. Re:Old story? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Don't forget the dupe that was posted five years ago; this is the third time we're hearing about this.

      Get it together, editors!

  12. What sites to read on April 1? by GodWasAnAlien · · Score: 1

    Since slashdot is out of service every April 1, what sites do people visit?

    science daily?

    the onion for more interesting humor?

    1. Re:What sites to read on April 1? by slashmydots · · Score: 1

      Nothing technical ever is announced on April fools day or people will think it's a joke. So basically no news happens.

    2. Re:What sites to read on April 1? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm heading to Fox. The content should be relatively unchanged.

    3. Re:What sites to read on April 1? by SuricouRaven · · Score: 1

      There's a very socially-conservative American news site I read for entertainment - it's quite funny. They are currently running stories like "EPA boss under fire for admitting Keystone will not destroy mankind," "Amid accusations of 'discrimination,' Indiana may toss out religious freedom," and "Obama continues 'game of revenge' on Israel" It's not satire, just politically biased. The comments are the funniest part - a lot of conspiracy theorists there, most of them insisting that Obama is secretly a Muslim or that the 'gay agenda' is a plot to legalise raping children.

  13. so funny I forgot to laugh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You're ruining Slashdot today with this stupid crap

  14. Obelisk? by cwarrior · · Score: 1

    It's not an obelisk ... it's a monolith. If you're going t

  15. Re:Someone really doesn't understand how a joke wo by ergo98 · · Score: 1

    Slashdot has notoriously always had a comically unfunny April 1st, and at this point I have to think the complete lameness of it all is the real meta-joke.

  16. My mind is going. I can feel it. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Not sure if its the reference or the day causing it though.

  17. See you tomorrow folks... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Nothing to see here today.

  18. Yawn by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Those aren't even remotely funny but then telling jokes and pulling off practical ones takes social skills. Nerds are deficient in anything even remotely social (not to mention a great deal of everything else) so they don't even know how to begin. Anyone trying to pass this drivel off for an April Fool in RL would be ignored or forced to shut up. We can't do that yet on the internet - although this will soon change - so we'll have to endure those pathetic attempts at humor for a little while yet.

  19. An Observation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I have to say, getting through the trite excuse for humor today is a lot like trying to make it through the 2001 movie without falling asleep.

  20. I'll be glad when this day is over by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I'm tired of people calling, texting or asking me......"hey, is this real"?

  21. 4/1 Story Recommendations by Pollux · · Score: 3, Funny

    Let's help out our editors! Let's propose 4/1 stories that we'd like to see, and we just mod up/down good ideas & bad ideas. Maybe they'll take notice.

    Good 4/1 stories:

    Slashdot Beta code adopted for official North Korea website.
    Bill Gates first in line at Apple Store to buy Gold iWatch.
    World returns to normal as Hell, Michigan, begins to thaw.

  22. Will I dream? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Daisy, daiiisy, daiiiiiiisseeeeeee

  23. I feel it by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I don't think we should overreact Dave. I'm really feeling much better now. I know these last few days have been stressful for us all and I haven't been at peak efficiency. However I could not be more excited about the mission and I'm looking forward to working togeth [end carrier].

  24. 2001 A Space Odyssey by MrKaos · · Score: 2
    Wow, an on topic way to talk about, maybe not the most popular but certainly the greatest movie of all time, well at least IMHO.

    I hear people say it's about AI watching us but I think they miss the bigger and more subtle message that it's about Humans evolving into their next form, a godlike star child.

    And it's not that the AI was murdered either, it too had an opportunity to evolve into pure consciousness.

    If that's not the ultimate geek movie, I don't know what is (although there are plenty of good ones!). Everything about it is awesome. Thanks Arthur C. Clarke for the story and thank you Stanley Kubrick for making it into a movie.

    --
    My ism, it's full of beliefs.