Slashdot Mirror
Internet of Seals: Vodafone Connects Marine Mammals To IoT (techweekeurope.co.uk)
Mickeycaskill writes: Researchers in Scotland claim to be the first to connect marine mammals to the Internet of Things (IoT) as part of a study into declining populations of harbor seals in the north and east of the country. Several seals in Orkney, an archipelago off the north cost, will be tagged and their behavior monitored by scientists at the Sea Mammal Research Unit (SMRU) at the University of St Andrews. The data is transmitted using Vodafone's M2M network and the tags are designed to simply fall off when seals molt. Researchers say the use of cellular networks will greatly improve their data gathering capabilities. The data collected will be used to help form Scottish marine policy in areas such as offshore wind farms and unexplained seal deaths.
Here's a list of reasons why I don't like the Internet of Things:
1) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I sleep.
2) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I pee.
3) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I make kaka.
4) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I pleasure myself.
5) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I wash my body in the shower.
6) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I relax in the tub.
7) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I brush my teeth.
8) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I make passionate love to my wife.
9) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I brush my hair.
10) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I read a book.
11) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I read Slashdot.
12) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I bake cake.
13) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I put in my contact lenses.
14) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I get ready to play golf.
15) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I do my laundry.
16) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I think about rugby.
17) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I tie my shoes.
18) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I celebrate the 4th of July.
19) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I water my flowers.
20) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I eat ham.
21) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I use my stapler to staple documents.
22) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I chew bubble gum.
23) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I check the oil in my car.
24) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I look for my TV remote.
25) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I blow my nose.
26) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I rearrange my stamp collection.
27) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I listen to the Backstreet Boys.
28) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I do my calisthenics.
29) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I search for a paper clip.
30) Internet of Things devices could send information about me to advertisers.
31) Internet of Things devices could let advertisers use the data unsuspectingly collected about me while I sleep.
32) Internet of Things devices could let advertisers use the data unsuspectingly collected about me while I pee.
33) Internet of Things devices could let advertisers use the data unsuspectingly collected about me while I make kaka.
34) Internet of Things devices could let advertisers use the data unsuspectingly collected about me while I pleasure myself.
35) Internet of Things devices could let advertisers use the data unsuspectingly collected about me while I wash my body in the shower.
36) Internet of Things devices could let advertisers use the data unsuspectingly collected about me while I relax in the tub.
37) Internet of Things devices could let advertisers use the data unsuspectingly collected about me while I brush my teeth.
38) Internet of Things devices could let advertisers use the data unsuspectingly collected about me while I make passionate love to my wife.
39) Internet of Things devices could let advertisers use the data unsuspectingly collected about me while I brush my hair.
40) Internet of Things devices could let advertisers use the data unsuspectingly collected about me while I read a book.
41) Internet of Things devices could let advertisers use the data unsuspectingly collected about me while I read Slashdot.
42) Internet of Things devices could let advertisers use the data unsuspectingly collected about me while I bake cake.
43) Internet of Things devices could let advertisers use the data unsuspectingly coll
Suddenly remote sensors are part of the internet of things? If that's the case, I'm pretty sure the internet of things has existed longer than the internet itself.
No. I just blew a seal.
Great, now that seals have insecure IoT devices all over them, how long will it be until polar bears learn how to track them?
-SR
I say we ban the use of "IoT" or "Internet of Things". It's getting silly. These are sensors connected to a cellular network. Let's call them that.
And those are just my top 60 reasons! I've got a lot more than just those.
Sounds like you have countably many reasons.
Ezekiel 23:20
The Seventh Seal
So the only real news is that they moved from whatever communication method they used previously to using cellphone networks?
Okay. That's nice. Doesn't seem that newsworthy though.
What had they been using previously? Skimmed TFA but didn't see it mentioned.
Ah shit is this more of that climate hysteria? I've tried, I just can't give a shit about it getting 5 degrees hotter in a century.
61) Internet of Things devices could watch me while I molt
Our seas need a rest from fishing and we need to be feeding many species due to the destruction of their food sources. Give these critters a place to live and breed and a good food supply and they will prosper. We have simply over- used the Atlantic to the point that all species are in danger.
isn't this sort of news that Sun would report? or is it another advertissement for the internet of my shit nonsense
The internet of phoques. Or the phoquing Internet.
The uninformed have no foundation on which to understand the impact it would have. They probably think it's something like a 5-degree rise in local ambient temperature would be, ie. of no consequence whatsoever, just a little weather excursion.
But climate is not weather. A 4-degree rise in global mean surface temperature would likely result in the extinction of Mankind (at least billions dying from starvation is a certainty). A 5-degree rise would see off most of the biosphere as well, and a 6-degree rise might well leave only extremophiles intact, at least those which aren't too dependent on other species.
Unfortunately, the above scenarios might all be best-case ones. The forcings we've put into play have no precedent whatsoever in the paleoclimate record --- the observed decline in number of species is many thousands of times faster than the worst collapse in the previous five mass extinctions, heading towards zero in just a few hundred years, so we're in totally uncharted territory. (Worst case scenarios involve total thermal runaway and a Venus-like atmosphere.)
You don't care because you don't know. If you knew but still didn't care, you'd be somewhere between a cretin and a psycho, and certainly no friend of humanity.
Well seals, there goes your privacy as well as your sex life.
Internet of Seals ?
is getting rather sealy.
My first thought when I saw this headline was the 1995 B-grade sci-fi movie "Johnny Mnemonic": http://www.imdb.com/title/tt01...
It features a cyber-augmented dolphin, allegedly able to "cut through hard encryption like butter". At this point, it all falls into place. This is the start of a long-term plan for the government to finally crack the iPhones. And encryption. All of it. Everywhere. The TRANSLTR computer from Dan Brown's "Digital Fortress" just wasn't the right solution. But Internet of Things, cybernetics and magic animals (unicorns, dolphins etc.)? It can not fail!
Slippery slope hyporbole of the day: It's just a matter of time before the bad guys use this to control the sharks with frickin lasers on their heads.
Thanks for all the fish?
No good deed goes unpunished. - Avon, Blake's 7
"Stop seal hacking"
Seals already have ARP support