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Resuming Its Annual PR Mission, NORAD Tracks Santa Claus (cnn.com)
An anonymous reader quotes CNN:
The U.S. military command that is charged with protecting the airspace for North America is on alert this Christmas weekend for a man with a white beard and a red suit. The North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) is tracking a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer around the world as it heads for U.S. airspace Sunday night. The public can access NORAD's official Santa Tracker to watch Santa Claus' voyage... [NOTE: The site will request access to your physical location before revealing Santa's whereabouts...]
The public can also call 1-877-HI-NORAD (1-877-446-6723) and speak live with NORAD trackers. People stuck in the car on the way to Grandmother's house, and with an OnStar subscription, can access the tracker by hitting their OnStar button... Marine Col. Bob Brodie of the 601st Air Operations Center said fighter jets will "fly along (Santa's) wing" in a "close escort," and that the center will "monitor him with our satellites and even have infrared trackers to follow Rudolph."
CNN reports NORAD first began tracking Santa in 1955 when a Sears ad misprinted the telephone number for children to call for updates on Mr. Claus's progress. "On December 24, 1955, Air Force Col. Harry Shoup was on duty, and instead of hanging up on countless children that night, Shoup checked the radar and updated the eager children on jolly old Saint Nick's location." But Gizmodo reports a different origin story: that one child had simply dialed the number incorrectly (in November), and weeks later that gave NORAD the idea for "one of the most successful military PR campaigns of the last century."
This year fifteen of the children's calls to NORAD were remotely answered by President Trump and first lady Melania.
The public can also call 1-877-HI-NORAD (1-877-446-6723) and speak live with NORAD trackers. People stuck in the car on the way to Grandmother's house, and with an OnStar subscription, can access the tracker by hitting their OnStar button... Marine Col. Bob Brodie of the 601st Air Operations Center said fighter jets will "fly along (Santa's) wing" in a "close escort," and that the center will "monitor him with our satellites and even have infrared trackers to follow Rudolph."
CNN reports NORAD first began tracking Santa in 1955 when a Sears ad misprinted the telephone number for children to call for updates on Mr. Claus's progress. "On December 24, 1955, Air Force Col. Harry Shoup was on duty, and instead of hanging up on countless children that night, Shoup checked the radar and updated the eager children on jolly old Saint Nick's location." But Gizmodo reports a different origin story: that one child had simply dialed the number incorrectly (in November), and weeks later that gave NORAD the idea for "one of the most successful military PR campaigns of the last century."
This year fifteen of the children's calls to NORAD were remotely answered by President Trump and first lady Melania.
Santa is a distraction from the real reason for Christmas. Kids should be focused on the birth of Jesus Christ, who is the Son of God. None of the other stuff like receiving presenrs matters in the least. I'll pray for all of the atheists here that you will start believing in Jesus Christ and be saved. Jesus is truly the Son of God. Most historians believe the Bible is true, which is why it's the most studied book in history. I'll pray for all of you to have a joyful Christmas. But I'll especially pray for atheists to start believing in Jesus and for children to not be distracted from Jesus by presents. Merry Christmas!
Why else they want kids to sit on their lap and talk about being naughty
The U.S. military command that is charged with protecting the airspace for North America
That should be US and Canadian military command. You'd have a pretty hard time protecting all of North America without Canada's vigilance in the North, you know.
Yaz
they couldn't scramble any fighter jets to intercept Dov Zakheim's remote controlled planes on 9/11.
Breaking News: North Korea just shot Santa down with a missile.
Table-ized A.I.
A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Luke:
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David) to be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And one of the shepherds spoke to the others, why are you afraid? And the shepherd said, science can explain this, it is not an angel, there is no God. And as soon as the shepherd finished those words, he was smitten by the Almighty God. And the shepherds trembled at the sight of this. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us. And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.
The Gospel of the Lord.
Please keep jolly old St. Nick safe from Nork warheads.
Santa and the North Pole Organization pose a greater threat than any other country or group.
NORAD vs Santa
https://www.youtube.com/watch?...
This year fifteen of the children's calls to NORAD were remotely answered by President Trump and first lady Melania.
Granted, I do think Trump has a toddler's mindset, but if we're going to let him deal with a bunch of whiny brats, why isn't he talking to Congress instead?
Outside this frigid tumble-down shack, dry leaves before the wild
winter hurricane fly. Here within, at the corner by the cold hearth
rests an empty stool. A crutch without a master stands perched against
the wall. These forlorn and lonely objects serve as mute reminders of
their departed owner, FreeBSD.
This crutch and vacant stool have become orphans, not unlike
the now dead FreeBSD. No longer will FreeBSD hobble about on its cripple's
crutch. Like the empty hearth, and the vacant stool, FreeBSD lies cold and
still. FreeBSD's corpse, lifeless beneath frozen earth and December snows,
will see no more Christmas cheer. No, there will be no Christmas ever
again for FreeBSD, for FreeBSD is dead.
Goodbye, FreeBSD. The pain of life forever stilled, sleep for
all eternity in that long winter's nap. Fade gently into Earth's frozen
bosom where in dreams even cripples walk and blind men see.
What kid, wanting to know where Santa is, would want to talk to Mr or Mrs Trump instead? Talk about a booby prize!
How about not militarising everything?
Santa's progress through cyberspace for all those electronic gift certificates and digital music purchases is being tracked in real-time by the NSA:
Dear Santa,
Hope you and Mrs. Claus are doing well. Please also send my regards to the elves, and you may want to check in a bit on Sugarplum Mary. Some of her recent communications have been a little on the down side, but I may have already said too much.
Thank you for the additional data center you brought our data services division last year. This year, all I want is for my extended family to hate me a little less and not spit on me so much when we get together for the holidays, if it's not too much to ask.
Thanks,
J. Michael McConnell
Director of National Intelligence, NSA
'Twas was the night before Goatse, when all through the house
Not a penis was stirred, not even with mouth;
The Giver was hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Goatse soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of anal-sex danced in their heads;
And Katz in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a fuck in the sack.
When up in my anus there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see Katz start to splatter.
Away to the bathroom I flew like a flash,
Tore open my anus and looked at the gash.
The moon in the glass had a vibrant red glow
Gave the lustre of sunset to my nutsack below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer!
With a little old driver, so lively and quickse,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Goatse.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, TACO! now, JAMIE! now, MICHEAL and TIMMY!
On, CHRISD! on HEMOS! on, PUDGEY and CLIFFY!
To the top of the ass! fronts to the the wall!
Now pound away! pound away! pound away all!"
As faggots that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with a hetero, mount the next guy,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of sex-toys, and Goatse pics too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The moaning and pawing of each little poof.
As I drew in my ass, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Goatse came with a bound.
He was dressed as a furry, from his head to his feet,
And his clothes were all tarnished with urine and shit;
A bundle of sex-toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a hooker just flapping his sack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His ass cheeks like roses, his cock like a cherry!
His cute little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his scrotum as white as the snow;
The stump of a blunt he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and was a bit smelly,
He shook, when he wanked like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him beat off himself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings with smelly big turds,
He layed a big log right under my nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a fucking great missile.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"HAPPY GOATSE TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"
Do not militarize the Merry Christmas!!!
A story CNN doesn't need to fabricate, and to all you young trolls a Merry GOATSE.
shot him down then invaded yet?
2015 - "NORAD's Amazing 60-Year Santa Tracking History"
God bless y'all!
Wus da night afo’ Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,
everybody be sleepin’ and da sleepin’ be good.
We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,
dat Obama gunna brang us our checks.
All of da family, was layin’ on da flo’,
my sister wif her gurlfriend, my brother wif some snow ho.
Ashtrays was all full, empty beer cans and all
when I heared such a fuss, I thunk.”Sh’eet, must be da law”.
I pulled the sheet off da window and what I’ze could see,
I was spectin’ the sherrif, wif a warrent fo’ me.
But what did I see, made me say, “Lawd look ‘a dat!”
Dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by eight big-ass rats.
Now ovah da years, Santy Claws he be white,
but it looks like us brotha’s, got a black un’ tonight.
Faster than a poe’lice car, my homeboy he came,
and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.
On Biden, On Jessie, On Pelosi and Hillary Who,
On Fannie, On Freddie, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.
Obama landed dat melon, right there in da street,
I knowed it fo’ sho’, - can you believe that Sheet?
Dat Santy didn’t need no chimley, he picked da lock on my do’,
an I sez to myself, “Son o’ bitch..he don did dis befo!”
He had a big bag, full of presents - at first I suspeck?
Wif “Air Jordans” and fake gold, to wear roun’ my neck.
But he left me no presents, just started stealin my shit.
He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit.
Den, wif my sh*t in his bag, out da windo’ he flew,
I sho’ woulda shanked him, but he snagged my blade too!
He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch,
and waz gone in two seconds, da democrat sonofabitch.
So nex year I be hopin’, a white Santy we git,
’cause a black Santy Claws, just ain’t worf a shit!
the real reason is classified. I recommend you view the film: "Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale."
Too much malicious javascript.
I am proud, proud citizen of the fruitful and glorious kingdom of the Nertherland; soon to be holders and protectors of a global hegemony the likes never seen before. Our mighty ships, our mighty crews, they will set fire to the lands beyond. A fire no mortal can put out. Such is the power of the powerful nationstate "Holland": Saviours of the Just, protectors of the Golden Child.
Are you Santa? https://www.youtube.com/watch?...
It seems like they didn't have the time, or worse, the acumen, to track the passenger aircraft used in the September 11th, 2001 bombing.
And now they brag about tracking non-existent mixed-up folk myths? Some nerve those people have.
How does a pagan tradition end up supported by Christians, distracting from the actual point of Christmas, with our tax money and defense department while claiming they're being attacked?
http://www.der-postillon.com/2... (German)
Translation (by google, I was lazy)
Hamburg (dpo) - Is the DHL million extortionist finally caught? The Hamburg police today arrested an elderly bearded man carrying thousands of suspicious parcels in a sled. To be on the safe side, the entire sled was blown up by specialists following an evacuation of the environment.
According to police, the suspect had penetrated the airspace over Hamburg on Sunday morning with a flying sled. In the subsequent landing in front of a block of flats, he was stopped by a large contingent of police and at the last second overwhelmed, before he could throw several suspicious packages with suspicious packaging in a chimney.
"Apparently, the man was about to commit a series of attacks," said a spokesman for the Hamburg police. "At the moment he is being interrogated, so we can not give any information on his motives at the moment."
Various media speculate now, whether it is the man to the DHL extortionist, which has caused several times in recent weeks, a stir. Sources within the Hamburg police report that the suspect has so far answered corresponding questions only with a scornful laugh ("Ho! Ho! Ho!").
Also curious: At his arrest, the shaggy senior was accompanied by nine reindeer. Since the animals had no papers at all and the introduction of diseases could not be excluded, they were now euthanized.
moar p'eez
Does NORAD have Santa's permission to track his movements? Or is this yet another unsanctioned invasion of personal privacy by a government body?
Trump achieves, in tone more than in substance, the mindset of a 2 year old demanding attention.
I am an adult and know how to deal with 2 year olds. We need to do the same with the Big Giant Orange Head.