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Samsung Announces Galaxy Home Speaker With Bixby Smart Assistant
The smart assistant that nobody asked for will be the brains of a new speaker Samsung is launching later this year. The Galaxy Home speaker will rival Apple's HomePod, while standing apart from competitors like Amazon's Echo and Google's Home with a promise of higher-quality audio. The Verge reports: The Galaxy Home looks like a strange vase or statue that might go on a table in the corner of your home. It's wrapped in fabric and elevated by three stout metal legs. It has a flat top with control buttons on it for skipping tracks and changing the volume. The speaker is supposed to deliver surround sound-style audio using six built-in speakers and a subwoofer. It also includes eight far-field microphones for detecting voice input. You'll be able to say "Hi, Bixby" to activate Samsung's assistant and ask it to start playing music or a number of other tasks. Samsung indicated that it'd be able to do many of the same things Bixby can do on a phone. Samsung is expected to share more details about the product at a developer conference in early November.
In Federal prison, Junior
My wife bought a Bixby enabled Samsung refrigerator. It is difficult to voice activate, doesn't understand much, and is way worse than either Alexa or Google Home (she has both of those too).
It does include good speakers, so if you want your refrigerator to play nice music, you may like it.
I went out to *BSD's grave on Decoration Day. The old forgotten cemetery is to be found adjacent to the dark woods beyond the edge of town. There within olfactory distance of the municipal treatment plant you will find *BSD's final resting place.
*BSD's tombstone was shrouded by thick mosses and knots of noxious ivy. A mournful funerary crow sounded the requiem, as I gently pulled aside the tangled twists of thorns, and cleaned the decaying marker the best I could. A suffocating melancholia filled my heart, while I pondered that this indeed was *BSD's figurative charnel house of which so many have plaintively spoken.
Nothing is so pitiful as an untended grave, a loved one now forgotten. The short sad life of this doomed and fated OS makes us realize that there but for the grace of God go all of us.
I planted some wilting marigolds, found discarded in the waste heap behind the caretaker's shack, wishing that by some miracle these fleurs de mort might take root and bring a modicum of cheer to *BSD's God forsaken plot. My fervent hope is that the torpid colored boy, who so carelessly mows the grounds, doesn't slice them down, inadvertently mirroring *BSD's own doomed encounter with death's irresistible scythe.
Funny how things work out. Linux, that brilliant novam stellam, now runs the Internet and the world's fastest computers, while *BSD lies moldering within its forgotten crypt. Let the barren silence of *BSD's tomb be a mute reminder that hubris and braggadocio were no defense on that woeful day when the Angel of Death's bleak umbra was cast upon *BSD.
Billl, your wife is sleeping around on you. She is not satisifed. She is out there looking for those zipless fucks! Sorry to be the one to tell you, Bill, but the clues are right there in what you wrote.
Does anyone ever get triggered enough by your ascii art to go full nazi retard though? I mean seriously does it work on the Republicans and that's the reason Trump barely scrapes his ass along in the 40's, because you're morons? lol.
This country won't miss you when you bury yourselves at wounded butthurt, nazi snowflake. Trump will hang for treason. Don Junior's already getting prison tats and shaving around his anus. He knows. You should too.
A hale and hearty Heil Hitler right back at ya! Zieg Heil!
Celebrate the Joy of Whiteness! Thank God I was born White and Proud!
But does this Bixby transform into the Hulk?
Bixby.
These home speaker / smart assistant devices demonstrably prove that women are as dumb as they think men are.
Take the worst feature of Samsung's very popular phones, and sell it as a stand-alone feature. Why, Samsung, Why?
I'm looking forward to Samsung cramming this technology into my fork. How far off is that?
You'll die dumb and faggoty like all nazi bitches though, sad!
I'd trust voice 'assistants' in about this order:
- Amazon
- Apple
- Google
- Just about anyone else
- The dodgy repair shop down the street that knocked together their own from spare parts
- Uber
- Samsung
As for the other comments about getting 'smart' fridges - oh man, that would drive me nuts. I'm annoyed enough that our wine fridge has a light that insists on staying on for 10 minutes after you close the door.
Are voice assistants the new "clocks". It used to be that every blooming device insisted on having a clock on it. At the start and end of summer you'd have two dozen clocks to change around your kitchen. At least voice assistants don't need that, but if you shout "Bixby Alexa Google" in the average kitchen, how many devices are going to say "yes, how can I help?"
You wouldn't like it when it's angry ...
Samsung indicated that it'd be able to do many of the same things Bixby can do on a phone.
...so, nothing much of value?
After Samsung stuffed Bixby down consumers' throats on S8 and S9 and would not provide a way to disable that goddamn button, I am staying away from anything Bixby.
There seems to be a generalized accord that, when it comes to digital assistants, Bixby does not amount to much - and, bearing in mind the very limited usefulness of digital assistants, that's saying something. So, why is Samsung insisting? Is it really generating more sales for them? Are there really vast numbers of people who are buying Samsung because of Bixby? My anecdotal experience is that I have yet to meet anyone - anyone - that has something nice to say about Bixby. On the other hand, I have met quite a few that actively complain about having to deal with Bixby. I know I would never buy any Samsung phone - they are too big, expensive, they come with too much in the way of unremovable bloatware - and Bixby.
Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you damn well know that sometime in the future, you're going to read this headline: "JUSTICE DENIED. PRESIDENT PENCE PARDONS TRUMP 45 MINUTES AFTER TAKING OFFICE" Basically, nothing can stop this and nobody will be able to do anything about it. Trump will pardon his family and "friends" at the beginning of his impeachment (or possibly right before, thereby triggering the impeachment) and they'll go ahead and actually vote to remove him. And then Pence will pardon him just like Ford did for Nixon. This generation's Nixon is going to get away with it. If you don't like this, then stop voting for Republicrats, but it's too late to imprison this crook. You're supposed to put them in prison before you elect them, dimwit. When you vote in favor of Republicrats' pro-crime platform, you get crime. Why is that do hard to understand?
Mr. McGee don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.