Microsoft [tm] brand Ramen noodles??? Do you really think that would work? I mean, it's not that bad an idea, but will people buy it?!? Hmmmm...
By the way, what do you mean the "lousiness of Msft would ruin the noodle business"?!? I take great exception to that. We would not only NOT ruin the noodle business, but perhaps bring together previosly seperated noodle eaters. No longer will people wonder wether or not their noodles will fit into their bowls, because I'll be marketing MICROSOFT[tm] brand bowls, specifically compatible with MS[tm] brand Ramen Noodles.
It's beautiful, I love it... Now to just get the DOJ off my back for ONE lousy minute. Sheesh, they're bloody everywhere.
I normally don't do my own tech support, that's what I hire people for...
But since you ARE using my Windows in an otherwise anti-winvironment, I'll see what I can do.
I do need some more information however, but here are some points to consider.
Are there any Linux boxes within 30 - 50 feet of your Windows 2000 box?
Are you using Microsoft hardware peripherals where applicable?
Ensure that you're not running on that god-forsaken Athlon
Are you sure that this is a bug? Oftentimes individuals can be shown to realize that this is actually a feature, and not a dreaded bug
Regarding article Q666, I'm afraid the daemon summoning only works on Windows 2000 build 1514a, also known as 5.00.14.5343524_1543. This is not yet attainable by consumers, as we're holding out for popular demand. Release date is scheduled currently at or around July 2001.
The Summon button can be obtained by downloading and installing the Windows 2000 Powertools. (No link yet available) This is also not yet available, as it is being held for deployment until consumer demand is expressed. (No expected date)
Sincerely, Bill Gates (Score 5, Monopoly)
Have you tried my latest version of Windows? It's really nice.
The main reason you would want to use FreeBSD would be self-pity. If you really hate yourself, and want to give up all technological conveniences for the sake of stability, then use FreeBSD.
After an independantly funded poll, I've concluded that most people using FreeBSD are on the rebound, or suffering long, painful divorces. Most tend to be suicidal. By using FreeBSD, it's an expression of their mood. They don't realize, that by always running, and being stable, they can lose their jobs, and it won't matter.
That's why Windows 2000 just makes more sense. You'll never have to fear that you'll be fired. Heck, your boss can't figure out what to do with a BSOD. They're there because of IT demand. Ensures job stability. Why would a FreeBSD shop keep around a sysadmin that didn't ever need to do anything???
Sincerely, Bill Gates (Score 5, Monopoly)
Have you tried my newest version of Windows? It's really nice.
That's why you Open Source nuts will never get anywhere... You want to freeze the code. Well, while you're freezing the code, and doing all that [pfeh]bug testing... What's that?!? If you'd only spend the proper time putting together GOOD code, then you wouldn't need to freeze it.
By the way, is this thing gonna be Windows compatible? I've got this great browser I want to seel them if it is...
Sincerely, Bill Gates (Score 5, Monopoly)
Have you tried my latest version of Windows? It's nice.
It would be even better to port the Indians to English.
Sure, they're not very portable, but with a little re-programming, they will even be able to get onto the internet. In addition, not only will they benefit from [cough]Open Source, but then they'll be able to use my wonderful Windows Products in English.
It will save a lot of work for my programmers, to not have to port Windows to another language, and they can use the free time to implement some other features I've been wanting. Security, stability, are a couple of features I've heard good things about. Platform independance sounds kinda neat, for hardware anyway...
Regardless, it is very important that you cease your efforts to port Linux to Indian languages, but rather port Indians to English..
You want India? Fine, it's yours. You Linux nutzoids are always thinking you've "gained more ground". Nevermind the fact that COMPUTERS are gaining more ground. Your percentage is going up, just your user base. Well, here's a scoop, MY userbase is going up too. How's that?!? In fact, more people start using Windows every day. And a lot more people start using it than switch over to your puny little OS.
You want India, it's yours. Most of them can't afford Windows 2000 licensing anyway. Of course, neither can the Americans, but we'll deal with that at a later point.
Have fun taking over a little insignificant country. Maybe I'll let you nuts open source mars... hmmph.
Do you really have any idea how much a pain that would be for me???
You Linux nutzoids are WAAAAY to eager to spend my money on frivolous junk. Who wants to go to Mars? ME??? No way... I'm happy owning one planet thank you very much. I'll leave Mars to Linus, or whoever, let them Open Source THAT! Maybe then they'll leave me alone... Sheesh
Well, you want to know the truth??? You can't handle the truth...
I hope all of you Linux-loving, Windows-hating, console-using, hackers are happy. I've run out of money, and can't afford the passport domain any longer at this time.
You may wonder why the richest man in the world can't afford it right??? Well, you remember that email I sent out regarding our email tracking software??? Well, needless to say, more people actually believed it than I thought would. It actually got onto our Hotmail servers, and seemed to take a life of its own from there. Nobody had to forward it, it just 'spread'.
Anyway, after having paid out to all recipients and forwarders of the email, I'm a little short. It seemed like such a good idea at the time.
Oh well, if nothing else, this is a great excuse to finally scrap those blasted BSD servers, and put in Windows 2000 Premium. You thought service was bad now??? Muwaahahahahahahaaaa........
Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft [tm] brand Ramen noodles??? Do you really think that would work? I mean, it's not that bad an idea, but will people buy it?!? Hmmmm...
By the way, what do you mean the "lousiness of Msft would ruin the noodle business"?!? I take great exception to that. We would not only NOT ruin the noodle business, but perhaps bring together previosly seperated noodle eaters. No longer will people wonder wether or not their noodles will fit into their bowls, because I'll be marketing MICROSOFT[tm] brand bowls, specifically compatible with MS[tm] brand Ramen Noodles.
It's beautiful, I love it... Now to just get the DOJ off my back for ONE lousy minute. Sheesh, they're bloody everywhere.
Sincerely,
Bill Gates
Whew. I thought for a minute I was going to have to buy you out. Instead I won through fair competition. See, the DOJ HAS done a good job.
Sincerely,
Bill Gates
But since you ARE using my Windows in an otherwise anti-winvironment, I'll see what I can do.
I do need some more information however, but here are some points to consider.
- Are there any Linux boxes within 30 - 50 feet of your Windows 2000 box?
- Are you using Microsoft hardware peripherals where applicable?
- Ensure that you're not running on that god-forsaken Athlon
- Are you sure that this is a bug? Oftentimes individuals can be shown to realize that this is actually a feature, and not a dreaded bug
Regarding article Q666, I'm afraid the daemon summoning only works on Windows 2000 build 1514a, also known as 5.00.14.5343524_1543. This is not yet attainable by consumers, as we're holding out for popular demand. Release date is scheduled currently at or around July 2001.The Summon button can be obtained by downloading and installing the Windows 2000 Powertools. (No link yet available) This is also not yet available, as it is being held for deployment until consumer demand is expressed. (No expected date)
Sincerely,
Bill Gates
(Score 5, Monopoly)
Have you tried my latest version of Windows? It's really nice.
The main reason you would want to use FreeBSD would be self-pity. If you really hate yourself, and want to give up all technological conveniences for the sake of stability, then use FreeBSD.
After an independantly funded poll, I've concluded that most people using FreeBSD are on the rebound, or suffering long, painful divorces. Most tend to be suicidal. By using FreeBSD, it's an expression of their mood. They don't realize, that by always running, and being stable, they can lose their jobs, and it won't matter.
That's why Windows 2000 just makes more sense. You'll never have to fear that you'll be fired. Heck, your boss can't figure out what to do with a BSOD. They're there because of IT demand. Ensures job stability. Why would a FreeBSD shop keep around a sysadmin that didn't ever need to do anything???
Sincerely,
Bill Gates
(Score 5, Monopoly)
Have you tried my newest version of Windows? It's really nice.
That's why you Open Source nuts will never get anywhere... You want to freeze the code. Well, while you're freezing the code, and doing all that [pfeh]bug testing... What's that?!? If you'd only spend the proper time putting together GOOD code, then you wouldn't need to freeze it.
By the way, is this thing gonna be Windows compatible? I've got this great browser I want to seel them if it is...
Sincerely,
Bill Gates
(Score 5, Monopoly)
Have you tried my latest version of Windows? It's nice.
It would be even better to port the Indians to English.
Sure, they're not very portable, but with a little re-programming, they will even be able to get onto the internet. In addition, not only will they benefit from [cough]Open Source, but then they'll be able to use my wonderful Windows Products in English.
It will save a lot of work for my programmers, to not have to port Windows to another language, and they can use the free time to implement some other features I've been wanting. Security, stability, are a couple of features I've heard good things about. Platform independance sounds kinda neat, for hardware anyway...
Regardless, it is very important that you cease your efforts to port Linux to Indian languages, but rather port Indians to English..
Sincerely,
Bill Gates
(Score 5, Monopoly)
Have you tried my newest software? Microsoft.com
You want India? Fine, it's yours. You Linux nutzoids are always thinking you've "gained more ground". Nevermind the fact that COMPUTERS are gaining more ground. Your percentage is going up, just your user base. Well, here's a scoop, MY userbase is going up too. How's that?!? In fact, more people start using Windows every day. And a lot more people start using it than switch over to your puny little OS.
You want India, it's yours. Most of them can't afford Windows 2000 licensing anyway. Of course, neither can the Americans, but we'll deal with that at a later point.
Have fun taking over a little insignificant country. Maybe I'll let you nuts open source mars... hmmph.
Sincerely,
Bill Gates
Do you really have any idea how much a pain that would be for me???
You Linux nutzoids are WAAAAY to eager to spend my money on frivolous junk. Who wants to go to Mars? ME??? No way... I'm happy owning one planet thank you very much. I'll leave Mars to Linus, or whoever, let them Open Source THAT! Maybe then they'll leave me alone... Sheesh
Well, you want to know the truth??? You can't handle the truth...
I hope all of you Linux-loving, Windows-hating, console-using, hackers are happy. I've run out of money, and can't afford the passport domain any longer at this time.
You may wonder why the richest man in the world can't afford it right??? Well, you remember that email I sent out regarding our email tracking software??? Well, needless to say, more people actually believed it than I thought would. It actually got onto our Hotmail servers, and seemed to take a life of its own from there. Nobody had to forward it, it just 'spread'.
Anyway, after having paid out to all recipients and forwarders of the email, I'm a little short. It seemed like such a good idea at the time.
Oh well, if nothing else, this is a great excuse to finally scrap those blasted BSD servers, and put in Windows 2000 Premium. You thought service was bad now??? Muwaahahahahahahaaaa........
This is not the last of me...
Sincerely,
Bill Gates