Actually, Microsoft did release a suite of tools very similar (Albeit lacking the 'magic' aspect of this man's request) a while ago called 'Cofee'.
Excerpt from the Seattle Times:
"The device contains 150 commands that can dramatically cut the time it takes to gather digital evidence, which is becoming more important in real-world crime, as well as cybercrime. It can decrypt passwords and analyze a computer's Internet activity, as well as data stored in the computer.
It also eliminates the need to seize a computer itself, which typically involves disconnecting from a network, turning off the power and potentially losing data. Instead, the investigator can scan for evidence on site.Full Article
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Actually, Microsoft did release a suite of tools very similar (Albeit lacking the 'magic' aspect of this man's request) a while ago called 'Cofee'. Excerpt from the Seattle Times: "The device contains 150 commands that can dramatically cut the time it takes to gather digital evidence, which is becoming more important in real-world crime, as well as cybercrime. It can decrypt passwords and analyze a computer's Internet activity, as well as data stored in the computer. It also eliminates the need to seize a computer itself, which typically involves disconnecting from a network, turning off the power and potentially losing data. Instead, the investigator can scan for evidence on site.Full Article