That poses an interesting question for me. How much influence did your natural children[having come first] have on the depth/nature/ease of bonding with the adopted ones?.
The 2 older boys are 13 and 11 and were just as much a part of the decision as we were so they feel just like we do about the 2 little ones (now 2&3) I think it is like anything else it seems to get easier the more often you do it... YMMV
I don't see where I could care for her and love her any more than I do, but I wonder if there are levels of the relationship we just don't have access to. Does that make any sense?
I think it does make sense, remember every child and every situation is different. our girl may have also had a biological father who on some level you felt on some level you had to compete with, please don't think I am trying to go all psychotherapy on you LOL, which could have caused some reservations. Only you know for sure, but I am willing to bet that if you feel you did the best you could, then you did just fine.
With our adoption it would have been more like the artificial womb thing as the biological parents were removed from the picture at birth due to drugs / violence / and other criminal behavior.
They also have 6 other older siblings who are quite messed up because they were not given a chance when it was needed. This actually causes us to be able to bond with and raise these 2 just as if they were born to us as we do not have any interference or even perceived expectations from the Bios.
I have 2 children of my own and 2 others who my wife and I adopted just shortly after birth (2 weeks and 2 days respectively)
I can say for myself that I have the same emotional bond with all 4, I think my wife feels the same and I know she would tell you that she does but I still can not read her mind (even after 16 years...)
As p-poster stated you truly have no idea how you will feel about YOUR children until you have some of your own either through birth or adoption. Would I pick my wife over an unborn child,... yes, and I have.
Did it affect us, yes it was 5 years before my wife recovered emotionally enough that she wished to try again. Would I do it again, yes I would.
Luckily there will not be the requirement of choosing between my wife and one of my living, breathing, growing, Laughing, playing, children because I have no idea what I would do. Most likely the person making me make that choice would have to take the hit or kill me first.
Slashdot Mirror
That poses an interesting question for me. How much influence did your natural children[having come first] have on the depth/nature/ease of bonding with the adopted ones?.
The 2 older boys are 13 and 11 and were just as much a part of the decision as we were so they feel just like we do about the 2 little ones (now 2&3) I think it is like anything else it seems to get easier the more often you do it... YMMV
I don't see where I could care for her and love her any more than I do, but I wonder if there are levels of the relationship we just don't have access to. Does that make any sense?
I think it does make sense, remember every child and every situation is different. our girl may have also had a biological father who on some level you felt on some level you had to compete with, please don't think I am trying to go all psychotherapy on you LOL, which could have caused some reservations. Only you know for sure, but I am willing to bet that if you feel you did the best you could, then you did just fine. With our adoption it would have been more like the artificial womb thing as the biological parents were removed from the picture at birth due to drugs / violence / and other criminal behavior. They also have 6 other older siblings who are quite messed up because they were not given a chance when it was needed. This actually causes us to be able to bond with and raise these 2 just as if they were born to us as we do not have any interference or even perceived expectations from the Bios.
Not enough steel in the US to build that much rail here, way too much area and too many cities.
I have 2 children of my own and 2 others who my wife and I adopted just shortly after birth (2 weeks and 2 days respectively) I can say for myself that I have the same emotional bond with all 4, I think my wife feels the same and I know she would tell you that she does but I still can not read her mind (even after 16 years...) As p-poster stated you truly have no idea how you will feel about YOUR children until you have some of your own either through birth or adoption. Would I pick my wife over an unborn child, ... yes, and I have.
Did it affect us, yes it was 5 years before my wife recovered emotionally enough that she wished to try again. Would I do it again, yes I would.
Luckily there will not be the requirement of choosing between my wife and one of my living, breathing, growing, Laughing, playing, children because I have no idea what I would do. Most likely the person making me make that choice would have to take the hit or kill me first.
Still in collage / High School? This simply does not work in a world where there are people. Wish it did, but ... well they just don't do it.