USS Make Some Shit Up
by Voltaire (no, not that Voltaire, the singer)
I was stranded on a planet, Just me and Spock
We met a nasty nazi alien who locked our asses up
We found a hunk of crystal and a metal piece of bed
We made a laser phaser gun and shot him in the head
Bust a move, Tog
I was standing on the bridge when Sulu came to me
His eyes were full of tears he said "Captain, can't you see
the ship is gonna blow do something I beseech"
I grabbed a tribble and some chewing gum and stopped the warp core breach
And I say,
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things, lad, we're making shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
And though he's just a child, and some think him a twit
Wesley is the master when it comes to making up some shit
He's the guy you want with you when you go out in space
Now if only he could beam those pimples off his face
And if you're at a party on the starship Enterprise
And the karaoke player just plain old up and dies
Set up a neutrino field inside a can of peas
Hold on to Geordi's visor and sing into Data's knee
And I say
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
Sisko's on a mission to go no bloody place
He loiters on a space station above Bajoran space
The wormhole's opened up and now they come from near and far
We'll keep the booze but please send back the fucking Jem-hadar
What is with the Klingons, remember in the day
They looked like Puerto Ricans and they dressed in gold lame
Now they look like heavy metal rockers from the dead
With leather pants and frizzy hair and lobsters on their heads
And I say
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
Well, I was stuck on Voyager, pounding on the door
When suddenly it dawned on me I've seen this show before
Perhaps I'm in a warp bubble and slightly out of phase
'Cause it was way back in the sixties when they called it "Lost in Space"
We were looking for a way to make the ratings soar
So we orchestrated an encounter with the Borg
Normally you'd think that that would get us into shit
But this one has a smashing ass and a lovely set of tits
And I say
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we're totally screwed but nevermind
We'll pull something out of our behinds, we just make some shit up
I saw the new Star Trek movie today, it was really good. It even had a part where Spoc kissed a girl! Eeewwww, sick!
I saw Star Trek at a movie theater and I knew it was fake because it was a movie. Movies are fake because they make that stuff in Hollywood. Captain Kirk wasn't really the Captain of a starship, we don't have those, he was just an actor in a Hollywood movie.
I didn't make a poem either. I just went and saw the movie. Maybe if I lived in my Mom's basement and didn't work I might have had the time to write a poem about Star Trek on my breaks from Warcraft.
Maybe I could write a poem about South Park. South Park isn't real either. It's a cartoon. But I think that they do stuff that couldn't really happen too.
Sadly I work and support a family. That doesn't afford me the time to question all the premises they use to make fake movies. And I still can't get mommy to call the microwave a replicator. She won't call my chicken nuggets "Dinoblian Worm" chunks either. Bitch!
I'm Old Gregg!!!!!!!!
Slashdot Mirror
USS Make Some Shit Up by Voltaire (no, not that Voltaire, the singer)
I was stranded on a planet, Just me and Spock We met a nasty nazi alien who locked our asses up We found a hunk of crystal and a metal piece of bed We made a laser phaser gun and shot him in the head
Bust a move, Tog
I was standing on the bridge when Sulu came to me His eyes were full of tears he said "Captain, can't you see the ship is gonna blow do something I beseech" I grabbed a tribble and some chewing gum and stopped the warp core breach
And I say, Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish Thats the way we do things, lad, we're making shit up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us 'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
And though he's just a child, and some think him a twit Wesley is the master when it comes to making up some shit He's the guy you want with you when you go out in space Now if only he could beam those pimples off his face
And if you're at a party on the starship Enterprise And the karaoke player just plain old up and dies Set up a neutrino field inside a can of peas Hold on to Geordi's visor and sing into Data's knee
And I say Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish Thats the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us 'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
Sisko's on a mission to go no bloody place He loiters on a space station above Bajoran space The wormhole's opened up and now they come from near and far We'll keep the booze but please send back the fucking Jem-hadar
What is with the Klingons, remember in the day They looked like Puerto Ricans and they dressed in gold lame Now they look like heavy metal rockers from the dead With leather pants and frizzy hair and lobsters on their heads
And I say Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish Thats the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us 'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
Well, I was stuck on Voyager, pounding on the door When suddenly it dawned on me I've seen this show before Perhaps I'm in a warp bubble and slightly out of phase 'Cause it was way back in the sixties when they called it "Lost in Space"
We were looking for a way to make the ratings soar So we orchestrated an encounter with the Borg Normally you'd think that that would get us into shit But this one has a smashing ass and a lovely set of tits
And I say Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish Thats the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us 'Cause if we find we're in a bind we're totally screwed but nevermind We'll pull something out of our behinds, we just make some shit up
I saw the new Star Trek movie today, it was really good. It even had a part where Spoc kissed a girl! Eeewwww, sick! I saw Star Trek at a movie theater and I knew it was fake because it was a movie. Movies are fake because they make that stuff in Hollywood. Captain Kirk wasn't really the Captain of a starship, we don't have those, he was just an actor in a Hollywood movie. I didn't make a poem either. I just went and saw the movie. Maybe if I lived in my Mom's basement and didn't work I might have had the time to write a poem about Star Trek on my breaks from Warcraft. Maybe I could write a poem about South Park. South Park isn't real either. It's a cartoon. But I think that they do stuff that couldn't really happen too. Sadly I work and support a family. That doesn't afford me the time to question all the premises they use to make fake movies. And I still can't get mommy to call the microwave a replicator. She won't call my chicken nuggets "Dinoblian Worm" chunks either. Bitch! I'm Old Gregg!!!!!!!!