We wouldn't call it a "n**** name" because nobody uses "n*****" to mean "gay".
"Gay" has been common parlance for "lame" for at least a decade now. Guess what: language evolves rapidly, and "gay" has acquired a new meaning, just as it did when it came to mean "homosexual". Too bad if you don't like the etymology; I'm sure there are lots of other words you're happy to use whose etymology is dubious, too... are you offended on behalf of left-handed people every time something is referred to as "sinister"?
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We wouldn't call it a "n**** name" because nobody uses "n*****" to mean "gay". "Gay" has been common parlance for "lame" for at least a decade now. Guess what: language evolves rapidly, and "gay" has acquired a new meaning, just as it did when it came to mean "homosexual". Too bad if you don't like the etymology; I'm sure there are lots of other words you're happy to use whose etymology is dubious, too... are you offended on behalf of left-handed people every time something is referred to as "sinister"?