Hi, I'm french-speaking and I regret it because I won't be able to express how much I am deeply sorry for you and your family. I will try to help by telling my own experience (don't take the time to feel sorry for me, you have better to do than that, be pragmatic and use it:-) ).
My mother died last year and, unlike in your situation, it was unexpected. This is how it happened: I had normally to have dinner with my parents that day, nothing special because I went there almost every week. On that morning, my father calls earlier that I should hurry because my mother had been hospitalized overnight. He's a physician and so, when he told me by the tone of his voice I almost already know that it was serious (deadly).
So I take my car and rush to my sister's house where we were supposed to meet and go from there to the hospital. So we left for the hospital and on the road we had a phone call from the hospital stating that we should hurry. And so did I (I can assure you that, while I drived responsibly trying not to be a danger, I was speeding...)
We arrived at the urgency service, noone to great us or give instructions. Since my father knew the location well, we went ahead and entered the room where my mother was. And the nurse was in fact, shutting down the screen with the vital signs. She shouted at us that we had no rights to be there (I don't blame her at all). We, of course, were destroyed...
So it is... Afterwards, I learned that my sister had the chance to speak to her the day before still in the hospital My father also had the chance since he did accompany her in to the hospital that night.
Now, more in touch with your situation, here are my thoughts and like many others, I agree : don't try to tape everything. And I would maybe agree with the most extreme, don't tape anything. I have tons of pictures of my mother (none of them I took, my mother and I had this in common: we never liked being photographed). All those pictures, one year afterwards, I still can't look at them... I just can't. Instead, it maybe be cliché, but I would die to still have the chance to speak a last time with my mother. My sister had the chance and she recovered better (I hope). It is not possible for me, no video will ever give me that back.
And I feel there is a second risk. Let's imagine that one of your daughter is more or less like me and that she just can't take looking at the pictures because it is too hard. Maybe she will be feeling guilty not looking at the material you have collected. Worse, if this is your manner to express your care, your manner to live your grief, consciously or inconsciously maybe that will lead you to think this/that daughter didn't like her or not enough. So, maybe, your manner to remember your wife will become a prison (jail) for your daughters. Please, don't do that. Death is a traumatic enough experience already. You can't prepare against it: you will suffer:-(
Live as normally as possible and try to ensure that your daughters enjoy the presence of their mother as often as possible. Don't go too soon into grief, there will be plenty of time for that. Take pictures if fou really feel like it, but don't force it.
I don't know what the feelings of your wife are about all that, but let her decide what means she wants to use to be remembered (not us basement dwellers). Even if it is none, it will be the best way.
Slashdot Mirror
Hi, I'm french-speaking and I regret it because I won't be able to express how much I am deeply sorry for you and your family. I will try to help by telling my own experience (don't take the time to feel sorry for me, you have better to do than that, be pragmatic and use it :-) ).
My mother died last year and, unlike in your situation, it was unexpected. This is how it happened: I had normally to have dinner with my parents that day, nothing special because I went there almost every week. On that morning, my father calls earlier that I should hurry because my mother had been hospitalized overnight. He's a physician and so, when he told me by the tone of his voice I almost already know that it was serious (deadly).
So I take my car and rush to my sister's house where we were supposed to meet and go from there to the hospital. So we left for the hospital and on the road we had a phone call from the hospital stating that we should hurry. And so did I (I can assure you that, while I drived responsibly trying not to be a danger, I was speeding...)
We arrived at the urgency service, noone to great us or give instructions. Since my father knew the location well, we went ahead and entered the room where my mother was. And the nurse was in fact, shutting down the screen with the vital signs. She shouted at us that we had no rights to be there (I don't blame her at all). We, of course, were destroyed...
So it is... Afterwards, I learned that my sister had the chance to speak to her the day before still in the hospital My father also had the chance since he did accompany her in to the hospital that night.
Now, more in touch with your situation, here are my thoughts and like many others, I agree : don't try to tape everything. And I would maybe agree with the most extreme, don't tape anything. I have tons of pictures of my mother (none of them I took, my mother and I had this in common: we never liked being photographed). All those pictures, one year afterwards, I still can't look at them... I just can't. Instead, it maybe be cliché, but I would die to still have the chance to speak a last time with my mother. My sister had the chance and she recovered better (I hope). It is not possible for me, no video will ever give me that back.
And I feel there is a second risk. Let's imagine that one of your daughter is more or less like me and that she just can't take looking at the pictures because it is too hard. Maybe she will be feeling guilty not looking at the material you have collected. Worse, if this is your manner to express your care, your manner to live your grief, consciously or inconsciously maybe that will lead you to think this/that daughter didn't like her or not enough. So, maybe, your manner to remember your wife will become a prison (jail) for your daughters. Please, don't do that. Death is a traumatic enough experience already. You can't prepare against it: you will suffer :-(
Live as normally as possible and try to ensure that your daughters enjoy the presence of their mother as often as possible. Don't go too soon into grief, there will be plenty of time for that. Take pictures if fou really feel like it, but don't force it.
I don't know what the feelings of your wife are about all that, but let her decide what means she wants to use to be remembered (not us basement dwellers). Even if it is none, it will be the best way.