The red, the yellow, the green, the orange and then the blue; a blue so deep
and vibrant that it made the clear summer sky look like a piece of faded
crepe. The string too; white as a fluff of cotton. I wound the strings
tightly around my hand as the balloons slowly lifted me to a low hover. A
gentle breeze carried me over the rooftops of middle-class houses with
fat, middle-class families and rich, middle-class barbecues.
I savored every scent as I floated along, subtly changing directions at the
whim of a whisp. Some families cooked chickens, others cooked steaks, most
lined up in droves for a good old cheeseburger or hot dog. Occasionally, a
child would look up from the feeding trough, smiling and pointing at the
rich color of my balloons. Excited grandparents would look up and wave at
me, smiling wide enough that I could see the metal holding their partials to
the rotting yellow-green remains of their natural teeth.
A strong gust of wind carried me northward along Cherry street. I groped
around in my jacket pocket and found my cigarettes. I managed to get one
loose and into my mouth, where I was able to light it with my patented
Zippo. Even the winds couldn't overwhelm the strong scent of lighter fluid.
I flicked the Zippo shut and returned it to my pocket, savoring that precious
first drag of smoke like it was a french kiss.
It was only a few minutes before I had drifted several blocks north. I
caught that sweet scent. My hairs stood end, rising to attention like a
million soldiers faced with Old Glory. My pulse rose and my blood
pressured harder into my veins. I felt a new life absorbing into me. The
odor was unmistakable and it was close. closer.
I looked down at the particularly indestinct house just below me. In the
mowed eveness of the rich green lawn, I saw the vision I had bated my breath
for. A small lady; tiny in frame. Her brown hair flowing in the breezes
that carried me to her. Her brown eyes looking up at me; her gaze was like
a warm fireplace in mid-winter. She knelt on the ground, raising her legs
up and down, beconing me to her in her catlike manner.
One by one, I raised the glowing ember of my smoking tonic to the balloons
causing them to burst like a mind on hallucinogenics. Slowly, I descended
until I was low enough that I could unravel the cottony strings and plop
easily into the mattress of green.
Gently, I took Natalie in my arms. She looked deep into my eyes, "OSM,
a graceful swan you are. And Michael (
jellicle@inch.com) is a fat turd."
Oh, and incest causes very clear and obvious problems - and it isn't very fun
my god, is there no end to your madness?! if i was natalie portman's brother i'd be taking her to the mountains of arkansas and there we'd stay. creating beautiful daughters to have more fun with.
i based it on the movie, since i've seen it a million times. however there is an element of reincarnation in this parody that was not in the movie but was in the book (moonwatcher was dave bowman was the starchild). errr... maybe that didn't come out until 2010. i can't remember!
Slashdot Mirror
Once again, Microsoft doesn't get it.
i took a bitchslapping for natalie portman!!
Now, would NASA actually make good use of the money?
i took a bitchslapping for natalie portman!!
The red, the yellow, the green, the orange and then the blue; a blue so deep and vibrant that it made the clear summer sky look like a piece of faded crepe. The string too; white as a fluff of cotton. I wound the strings tightly around my hand as the balloons slowly lifted me to a low hover. A gentle breeze carried me over the rooftops of middle-class houses with fat, middle-class families and rich, middle-class barbecues.
I savored every scent as I floated along, subtly changing directions at the whim of a whisp. Some families cooked chickens, others cooked steaks, most lined up in droves for a good old cheeseburger or hot dog. Occasionally, a child would look up from the feeding trough, smiling and pointing at the rich color of my balloons. Excited grandparents would look up and wave at me, smiling wide enough that I could see the metal holding their partials to the rotting yellow-green remains of their natural teeth.
A strong gust of wind carried me northward along Cherry street. I groped around in my jacket pocket and found my cigarettes. I managed to get one loose and into my mouth, where I was able to light it with my patented Zippo. Even the winds couldn't overwhelm the strong scent of lighter fluid. I flicked the Zippo shut and returned it to my pocket, savoring that precious first drag of smoke like it was a french kiss.
It was only a few minutes before I had drifted several blocks north. I caught that sweet scent. My hairs stood end, rising to attention like a million soldiers faced with Old Glory. My pulse rose and my blood pressured harder into my veins. I felt a new life absorbing into me. The odor was unmistakable and it was close. closer.
I looked down at the particularly indestinct house just below me. In the mowed eveness of the rich green lawn, I saw the vision I had bated my breath for. A small lady; tiny in frame. Her brown hair flowing in the breezes that carried me to her. Her brown eyes looking up at me; her gaze was like a warm fireplace in mid-winter. She knelt on the ground, raising her legs up and down, beconing me to her in her catlike manner.
One by one, I raised the glowing ember of my smoking tonic to the balloons causing them to burst like a mind on hallucinogenics. Slowly, I descended until I was low enough that I could unravel the cottony strings and plop easily into the mattress of green.
Gently, I took Natalie in my arms. She looked deep into my eyes, "OSM, a graceful swan you are. And Michael ( jellicle@inch.com) is a fat turd."
i took a bitchslapping for natalie portman!!
errr... try this!
i took a bitchslapping for natalie portman!!
Check it out!
i took a bitchslapping for natalie portman!!
You're taking /. WAY too seriously.
i took a bitchslapping for natalie portman!!
Oh, and incest causes very clear and obvious problems - and it isn't very fun
my god, is there no end to your madness?! if i was natalie portman's brother i'd be taking her to the mountains of arkansas and there we'd stay. creating beautiful daughters to have more fun with.
i took a bitchslapping for natalie portman!!
i based it on the movie, since i've seen it a million times. however there is an element of reincarnation in this parody that was not in the movie but was in the book (moonwatcher was dave bowman was the starchild). errr... maybe that didn't come out until 2010. i can't remember!
i took a bitchslapping for natalie portman!!
technos has been very good to me. he links to my fat-time charlie online serial on his website.
i took a bitchslapping for natalie portman!!