(Talking) May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please, will the real jonkatz please stand up, I repeat will the real jonkatz please stand up.....we're gonna have a problem here.........
(Verse 1) Ya'll act like you never seen a editor troll before jaws all on the floor like sengan just burst in the door and started whoopin your ass worse than before they first were divorced locking out all posters (aaaaaah) It's the return of the... "awww..wait, no wait, you're kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" and CmdrTaco said... nothing you idiots, Cmdr Taco's dead he's locked in the Geek House long time/.'ers love jonnykatz chicka chicka chicka jonkatz, "I'm sick of him, lookit him walkin around, trollin for who knows what talking about not really much" "yeah, but he's such a good writer though" yeah, I probably got a more than a few screws up in my head loose but no worse than what's goin on in your parents bedroom (eheheheh) sometimes, I wanna get on/. and just let loose and can, but it's not cool for people to talk shit about my posts My bum is on your lips, My bum is on your lips and if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss and that's the message that I deliver to little trolls and expect them not to know what a dictionary is of course they're gonna know what thesaurus is by the time they hit 9th grade they got the "Hellmouth", dont they? we ain't nothing but morons well, some of us panderes have troll-armies who cut posts open like cantelopes but if we can rework dead points and hype a lot then there's no reason that I can't keep spewing the same rot but if you feel like I feel, I got the antedote geeks wave your cash around, sing the chorus and it goes..............
(Chorus) I'm jonkatz, yes, I'm the real katzy all you other jonkatzs are just imitating so wont the real jonkatz please stand up, please stand up, please stand up cause I'm jonkatz, yes, I'm the real katzy all you other jonkatzs are just imitating so wont the real jonkatz please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
(Verse 2) Real writers are generally lucid and understand english well I'm not, so fuck Webster and fuck you too you think I give a damn about a webby half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me "but jon, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird" why? so you guys can just lie to get me here so you can sit me here next to timothy shit, michaeal better switch me chairs so I can sit next to CmdrTaco and Hemos and hear em argue over who he gave head to first little bitch, put me on blast on/. see "yeah, he's cute, but I think he violated my rights, whee hee" I should download the audio on MP3 and show the world how you invaded MY privacy (aaaaaah) I'm sick of you little girl and boy posts all you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you and there's a million of us just like me who post like me, who just don't make much sense like me who troll like me, walk, talk and blather like me and just might be the next best thing, but not quite me.................
(Chorus) I'm jonkatz, yes, I'm the real katzy all you other jonkatzs are just imitating so wont the real jonkatz please stand up, please stand up, please stand up cause I'm jonkatz, yes, I'm the real katzy all you other jonkatzs are just imitating so wont the real jonkatz please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
(Verse 3) I'm like a head trip to try to understand cause my rants attract nerd-boy wannabe fans you preach about to your friends inside you AD&D club the only difference is I got the balls to bullshit it in front of ya'll and I aint gotta be correct or accurateat all I just get on the board and spit it and whether you like to admit it (riiip) I just bullshit it better than 90% you wannabes out can then you wonder how can trolls eat up these albums like valiums it's funny,cause at the rate I'm going when I'm ninety I'll be the only person left at slashdot flirting pinchin Signal 11's ass when I'm jackin off with jergen's and I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of viagra isn't working in every single person there's a jonkatz lurkin I am workin at burger king, drooling on your onion rings or wandering around senseless in the parking lot, screamin I dont give a fuck with his windows up and his system down so will the real katzy please stand up and put 1 of those fingers on each hand up and be proud to be outta your mind and outta control and 1 more time, loud as you can, how does it go?.................
(Chorus) I'm jonkatz, yes, I'm the real katzy all you other jonkatzs are just imitating so wont the real jonkatz please stand up, please stand up, please stand up cause I'm jonkatz, yes, I'm the real katzy all you other jonkatzs are just imitating so wont the real jonkatz please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm jonkatz, yes, I'm the real katzy all you other jonkatzs are just imitating so wont the real jonkatz please stand up, please stand up, please stand up cause I'm jonkatz, yes, I'm the real katzy all you other jonkatzs are just imitating so wont the real jonkatz please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
(Talking) haha guess it's a jonkatz in all of us........ fuck it let's all stand up
Jon Katz Covers Eminem's "Hi, My Name Is"!
on
Frankenstein Time
·
· Score: 1
Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?) My name is.. {scratches} Jon Katz Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?) My name is.. {scratches} Jon Katz Ahh emm.. excuse me! Can I have the attention of/. for one second? Hi kids! Do you like tecnology? (Yeah yeah yeah!) Wanna see me write pompously and sell books to geeks for my Bid? (Uh-huh!) Wanna me celebrate you and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!) Try cid and get fucked up worse that my mind is? (Huh?) My brains dead weight, Im tryin to get my head straight but I cant figure out which After-Y2K girls I wanna impregnate (Umm..) CmdrTaco said, "Jon Katz you a basehead!" Uh-uh! "Then why?s your face red? Man you wasted!" Well since age eighty six, I?ve felt like Im someone else Cause I hung my original non-geek from the top bunk with a belt Got pissed off and ripped Rob Malda?s site off And pleasured the geeks egos so much it made thier dicks soft I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass then write a 30 page essay (where 1 page would do) fast Come here slut. (Shady, wait a minute, that?s Hemos, dog!) I don?t give a fuck, God sent me to jerk the nerds off. My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high Thanks a lot, next semester I?ll be 65 Wrote a 500 page dissetation and didn?t use an eraser, tried to fasten them but it broke the stapler hit the teacher upside the head with a 40lb stack of paper (Owwwwwwww!) Walked into Wired, had my jacket zipped up Flashed the Sysop, then stuck my dick in the tip cup Extraterrestrial, ignoring ACs while I troll over them in Windows 98 while they screamin: "LET?S JUST BE FRIENDS!" Ninety-nine percent of my life It was the mainstream I preached to (Reader?s Digest) I just found out nerds have more money and patience than I do (Ka-ching!) I told you I?d grow up to be a famous writer Write a book about being a nerd and name it after you (Oh thank you!) You know you blew up when your writing is droll and bland and dweebs worship you like some screamin Steve Jobs fans (Aaahhhhhh!) This guy at Thinkgeek asked for my autograph(Dude, can I get your autograph?) So I signed it: ?Dear Troll, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!? Stop the tape, this kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!) User, dont just stand there, Moderate! Im not ready to leave, its too easy to sell books (Fuck that!) In your board and in your nerd mind I?ve got hooks (Huh yup!) Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide I just drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to write? (Go ahead) All my life I was very deprived I ain?t had a solid job in years, my ribs, too bony to hide (Whoops!) Literate like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too) I spit when I talk, I?ll sell out anything that walks (C?mere) When Slashdot I was little I used to get so pompous I would throw fits HOW YOU GONNA "DUMP THE JERK"? (WAH!)YOU MEAN I MIGHT HAVE TO WORK! (WAHHH!) I troll a lot and strap michael to the bed Put a rubber vest on and shoot Tux in the head (BANG!) I?m ranting mad (Arrrggghhh!) And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?) Tell him that I wrote about him, in this dream I had
Slashdot Mirror
(Talking)
/.'ers love jonnykatz /. and just let loose
/. see
.................
May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please, will the real jonkatz please stand up,
I repeat will the real jonkatz please stand up.....we're gonna have a problem here.........
(Verse 1)
Ya'll act like you never seen a editor troll before
jaws all on the floor
like sengan just burst in the door
and started whoopin your ass worse than before
they first were divorced
locking out all posters (aaaaaah)
It's the return of the...
"awww..wait, no wait, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did,
did he?"
and CmdrTaco said...
nothing you idiots, Cmdr Taco's dead
he's locked in the Geek House
long time
chicka chicka chicka jonkatz,
"I'm sick of him, lookit him
walkin around, trollin for who knows what
talking about not really much"
"yeah, but he's such a good writer though"
yeah, I probably got a more than a few screws up in my head loose
but no worse than what's goin on in your parents bedroom (eheheheh)
sometimes, I wanna get on
and can, but it's not cool for people to talk shit about my posts
My bum is on your lips, My bum is on your lips
and if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
and that's the message that I deliver to little trolls
and expect them not to know what a dictionary is
of course they're gonna know what thesaurus is
by the time they hit 9th grade
they got the "Hellmouth", dont they?
we ain't nothing but morons
well, some of us panderes
have troll-armies who cut posts open like cantelopes
but if we can rework dead points and hype a lot
then there's no reason that I can't keep spewing the same rot
but if you feel like I feel, I got the antedote
geeks wave your cash around, sing the chorus and it goes..............
(Chorus)
I'm jonkatz, yes, I'm the real katzy
all you other jonkatzs are just imitating
so wont the real jonkatz please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm jonkatz, yes, I'm the real katzy
all you other jonkatzs are just imitating
so wont the real jonkatz please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
(Verse 2)
Real writers are generally lucid and understand english
well I'm not, so fuck Webster and fuck you too
you think I give a damn about a webby
half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"but jon, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird"
why? so you guys can just lie to get me here
so you can sit me here next to timothy
shit, michaeal better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to CmdrTaco and Hemos
and hear em argue over who he gave head to first
little bitch, put me on blast on
"yeah, he's cute, but I think he violated my rights, whee hee"
I should download the audio on MP3
and show the world how you invaded MY privacy (aaaaaah)
I'm sick of you little girl and boy posts
all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you
and there's a million of us just like me
who post like me, who just don't make much sense like me
who troll like me, walk, talk and blather like me
and just might be the next best thing, but not quite me.................
(Chorus)
I'm jonkatz, yes, I'm the real katzy
all you other jonkatzs are just imitating
so wont the real jonkatz please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm jonkatz, yes, I'm the real katzy
all you other jonkatzs are just imitating
so wont the real jonkatz please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
(Verse 3)
I'm like a head trip to try to understand
cause my rants attract nerd-boy wannabe fans
you preach about to your friends inside you AD&D club
the only difference is I got the balls to bullshit it
in front of ya'll and I aint gotta be correct or accurateat all
I just get on the board and spit it
and whether you like to admit it (riiip)
I just bullshit it better than 90% you wannabes out can
then you wonder how can
trolls eat up these albums like valiums
it's funny,cause at the rate I'm going when I'm ninety
I'll be the only person left at slashdot flirting
pinchin Signal 11's ass when I'm jackin off with jergen's
and I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of viagra isn't working
in every single person there's a jonkatz lurkin
I am workin at burger king, drooling on your onion rings
or wandering around senseless in the parking lot, screamin I dont give a fuck
with his windows up and his system down
so will the real katzy please stand up
and put 1 of those fingers on each hand up
and be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and 1 more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
(Chorus)
I'm jonkatz, yes, I'm the real katzy
all you other jonkatzs are just imitating
so wont the real jonkatz please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm jonkatz, yes, I'm the real katzy
all you other jonkatzs are just imitating
so wont the real jonkatz please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm jonkatz, yes, I'm the real katzy
all you other jonkatzs are just imitating
so wont the real jonkatz please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm jonkatz, yes, I'm the real katzy
all you other jonkatzs are just imitating
so wont the real jonkatz please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
(Talking)
haha guess it's a jonkatz in all of us........ fuck it let's all stand up
Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?) /. for one second?
My name is.. {scratches} Jon Katz
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. {scratches} Jon Katz
Ahh emm.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of
Hi kids! Do you like tecnology? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me write pompously and sell books to geeks for my Bid? (Uh-huh!)
Wanna me celebrate you and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
Try cid and get fucked up worse that my mind is? (Huh?)
My brains dead weight, Im tryin to get my head straight
but I cant figure out which After-Y2K girls I wanna impregnate (Umm..)
CmdrTaco said, "Jon Katz you a basehead!"
Uh-uh! "Then why?s your face red? Man you wasted!"
Well since age eighty six, I?ve felt like Im someone else
Cause I hung my original non-geek from the top bunk with a belt
Got pissed off and ripped Rob Malda?s site off
And pleasured the geeks egos so much it made thier dicks soft
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
then write a 30 page essay (where 1 page would do) fast
Come here slut. (Shady, wait a minute, that?s Hemos, dog!)
I don?t give a fuck, God sent me to jerk the nerds off.
My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high
Thanks a lot, next semester I?ll be 65
Wrote a 500 page dissetation and didn?t use an eraser, tried to fasten them but it broke the stapler
hit the teacher upside the head with a 40lb stack of paper (Owwwwwwww!)
Walked into Wired, had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the Sysop, then stuck my dick in the tip cup
Extraterrestrial, ignoring ACs while I troll over them
in Windows 98 while they screamin: "LET?S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life It was the mainstream I preached to (Reader?s Digest)
I just found out nerds have more money and patience than I do (Ka-ching!)
I told you I?d grow up to be a famous writer
Write a book about being a nerd and name it after you (Oh thank you!)
You know you blew up when your writing is droll and bland
and dweebs worship you like some screamin Steve Jobs fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This guy at Thinkgeek asked for my autograph(Dude, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it: ?Dear Troll, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!?
Stop the tape, this kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
User, dont just stand there, Moderate!
Im not ready to leave, its too easy to sell books (Fuck that!)
In your board and in your nerd mind I?ve got hooks
(Huh yup!) Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to write? (Go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain?t had a solid job in years, my ribs, too bony to hide
(Whoops!) Literate like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I?ll sell out anything that walks (C?mere)
When Slashdot I was little I used to get so pompous I would throw fits
HOW YOU GONNA "DUMP THE JERK"? (WAH!)YOU MEAN I MIGHT HAVE TO WORK! (WAHHH!)
I troll a lot and strap michael to the bed
Put a rubber vest on and shoot Tux in the head (BANG!)
I?m ranting mad (Arrrggghhh!) And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
Tell him that I wrote about him, in this dream I had