You're all doing it wrong. Have you learned nothing? The answer is so simple!
Really, what the phone companies should do is follow the RIAA and MPAA's lead - insist that cell phones steal conversations out of thin air and sue everybody who owns one. Bribe politicians to pass laws against uploading conversations to other freeloaders. (*The following will benefit greatly from being read in a Sam Kinison preacher voice*) In time those nasty telepirates will cancel their contracts for fear of being crushed by wholy reasonable fines as all such dirty little scofflaws should expect, massively driving up the profits of the telcos via early termination fees which they should all eagerly DOUBLE AND TRIPLE IMMEDIATELY in orgasmic financial anticipation, culminating in a Ma Bell & Associates facial of silvery change being sprayed from the Sacred Coin Return Slot of The People, attainable only by the Law-Abiding and the Money-Hungry, the sole bearers of The Secret and The Touch, Possessors of the Grace, wielders of the government-bestowed wherewithal to jiggle the Coin Return Slot Handle Thingy That Never Works For The Rest Of Us, whose station in life is assured by the Federal Bindings of Holy Legislative Corporate Matrimony. Can I get an Amen brothers and sisters? I SAY CAN I GET AN AMEN, BROTHERS AND SISTERS!
So shall their business model be set in stone and painted as the American Flag-wrapped paragon of all that is right and good, as we all know in our heart of hearts it truly is. Public phones will be assured their continued presence, nay, their celebration! As they should be, my children, as they should be. Home phones will be outlawed, for through the errors of our past we have seen what false idols they be. The glory of a payphone in every home, as it always should have been! The Supermen who rule our great nation gently and wisely will never have to fear changing out in the open where we might catch a reality-based glimpse of their unlicensed Wonder Woman underoos, basketwoven of Soylent Green, broken dreams and puppy dog tails. No one should see that. Amen, brothers and sisters. Amen.
Profit, rinse, repeat ad nauseum. Ain't America fun?
24.4% of eligible voters voted for W. 24.7% of eligible voters voted for Gore. 49% of eligible voters did not bother show up at the polls. Irrespective of your political leanings, it's more true to say that a quarter of you are idiots and half of you are dangerously apathetic.
Slashdot Mirror
You're all doing it wrong. Have you learned nothing? The answer is so simple!
Really, what the phone companies should do is follow the RIAA and MPAA's lead - insist that cell phones steal conversations out of thin air and sue everybody who owns one. Bribe politicians to pass laws against uploading conversations to other freeloaders. (*The following will benefit greatly from being read in a Sam Kinison preacher voice*) In time those nasty telepirates will cancel their contracts for fear of being crushed by wholy reasonable fines as all such dirty little scofflaws should expect, massively driving up the profits of the telcos via early termination fees which they should all eagerly DOUBLE AND TRIPLE IMMEDIATELY in orgasmic financial anticipation, culminating in a Ma Bell & Associates facial of silvery change being sprayed from the Sacred Coin Return Slot of The People, attainable only by the Law-Abiding and the Money-Hungry, the sole bearers of The Secret and The Touch, Possessors of the Grace, wielders of the government-bestowed wherewithal to jiggle the Coin Return Slot Handle Thingy That Never Works For The Rest Of Us, whose station in life is assured by the Federal Bindings of Holy Legislative Corporate Matrimony. Can I get an Amen brothers and sisters? I SAY CAN I GET AN AMEN, BROTHERS AND SISTERS!
So shall their business model be set in stone and painted as the American Flag-wrapped paragon of all that is right and good, as we all know in our heart of hearts it truly is. Public phones will be assured their continued presence, nay, their celebration! As they should be, my children, as they should be. Home phones will be outlawed, for through the errors of our past we have seen what false idols they be. The glory of a payphone in every home, as it always should have been! The Supermen who rule our great nation gently and wisely will never have to fear changing out in the open where we might catch a reality-based glimpse of their unlicensed Wonder Woman underoos, basketwoven of Soylent Green, broken dreams and puppy dog tails. No one should see that. Amen, brothers and sisters. Amen.
Profit, rinse, repeat ad nauseum. Ain't America fun?
My old man nonetheless spoke of killing feral rabbits because that was the only meat they could afford.
He's got huge, sharp... He can leap about... Look at the bones!
24.4% of eligible voters voted for W. 24.7% of eligible voters voted for Gore. 49% of eligible voters did not bother show up at the polls. Irrespective of your political leanings, it's more true to say that a quarter of you are idiots and half of you are dangerously apathetic.
24.4% + 24.7% *quickly does math in head*
That doesn't add up to a quarter.