It is not too often that I use the medium to send out missives beyond normal day to day communications, but on this occasion I am compelled to share some very important thoughts on the Colorado tragedy. It has bothered me for some time as I am sure it has also you. The problem being, I could not pinpoint exactly what chord it struck with me until today when I read this article on slashdot org that put it into perspective.
The cross section of people I have mailed today probably only shares one commonality. We use the Internet to communicate. Other then that I know the experiences everyone has had are unique. Different cities, different lifestyles, different familial situations, different ages and different levels of "popularity" in school. In that only Jeanne and Ari knew me in High School, you probably have a distorted notion of how life must have been like for me in High School. Most everyone knows about my mother having Cerebral Palsy. Most of you know that I am fortunate to be somewhat intelligent. Most of you know me as being gregarious, fun loving and occasionally, pardon the phrase, cool.
What you do not know is how being intelligent affected my life in a negative way which I am only now beginning to grasp. While the acts of the killers in Colorado are deplorable and the thought that someone would become so twisted as to resort to those actions literally makes me sick, I do understand how they, and other youths around the country must have felt and are feeling now for being "different". The article I have linked above is a discussion of this with email excerpts from kids around the world describing how they are now being treated as a result of these two psycopaths(sp?). Rather then leading to more understanding of how society fosters this ostracism, it has only served to reinforce it and increase the intensity on all levels as evidenced by today's statement by the ACLU and the kids in the article.
I have never really discussed this with anyone until now so this may seem odd. When I was a child growing up in Miami, FL I was often ridiculed for many things from my general dorkiness to my "retarded" mother. Most of all though, I was tormented for being smart. Kids used to call me "encyclopedia head", "the dork with 2 brains", "eggbert" and a few would throw out "watermelon head" among other epitaphs. This occurred from my days at Elementary school all the way through High School. Fortunately I never did really get beat up for it, though the emotional abuse hurt tremendously.
What I did about it, as many others have done, was sacrifice part of my independence/originality in order to blend in better. For a long time I even referred to it as "my quest for normalcy" - presuming that there was something wrong with who I was. Even playing football my senior year of high school, other team members teased me. Still, I was not about to give up and I was able to break through many of my mental obstacles by sticking with it. I did manage to have a lot of fun in High School by going to parties and hanging out with my friend Ari, but wherever I went I did not feel like I fit in well with my peers so I hung out with a lot of sophomores and a few juniors. There were a few groups of people (they still call these 'cliques' without really understanding what they are) who would throw things at me, or hit me in the back of the head in class, generally insult me and literally push me around on occasion.
I did not have it nearly as bad as some of the other kids, I was fortunate as I was trying to blend in. But really as I look back, I was most unfortunate. Not for how I was treated, but for what I did to myself as a result of it. In order to fit it, I gave up my independence of thought and robbed myself of my confidence and acceptance of who I am. I essentially dumbed myself down to distance myself from that stereotype while dealing with many people and embracing it with others. Worse still, because I was trying to be normal and I came from the neighborhood that I did, even many of the smart kids (mostly sons and daughters of doctors, lawyers, professionals and entrepreneurs who lived around my High School) did not accept me. Despite these daily reminders of being different, I did have some good friends and I did have quite a good time.
Still, this has far reaching effects into my present day life which I will not explore here as this not about me. It is about the fact that what is happening today in our schools has always happened but it is more greatly magnified by the speed of our society and our communications. We saw this behavior. We lived through it in one way or another as either a participant or an observer. Why isn't the media talking to us (the graduates of the high school system from 8-15 years ago) about our experiences here and what we have learned from it. Trying to find out what the longer term effects of the "cooler then thou" attitude really are. We are still close to it, the first ones to come out of the system with computer skills and video game experiences, our collective insights and recollections would be of tremendous value to educators, politicians and most importantly, students.
The real tragedy of Littleton is that the general populace has yet to learn the real lesson. In absolute terms the deaths are tragic - so is the fear that has been created for all school going children. But more tragic still is that our children are not learning how to look at other human beings as their brothers and sisters. While there is no doubt that friends and a sense of identity are of paramount importance to a maturing mind, the exclusion of those who are different in any way is unconscionable in this day and age.
Though I do not want to digress profoundly from the reason for this email, it is for this reason that we are fighting in Yugoslavia today. One culture (which could be called a 'clique') wanting to get rid of another because they are different. Though violence is not the preferred solution, for some people (particularly Milosovic) that is all they understand. Of course, in school the option of choice has been to crack down on those who think differently and ostracize them further as you can read from the article. This obviously will only contribute to the underlying root cause instead of solving the problems we face as a society. Yes it starts in the home. Children of KKK families will learn to hate others who are different. It extends form the home to the community. It extends from the community to society as whole and is reinforced by media. Why can we not spread our positive message in the same manner. While I do not know how to deal with situations of hate like the KKK and and other groups who do not understand we are all the same despite cultural and physical differences.
The common thread has been revealed. It is not video games, it is not the Internet, it is that society as a whole going back to the smallest subset of the family has learned to covet and seek the wrong things. The notion of friendly competition is only that - a notion. Excelling at sports is great, but not without the education. Position and authority are only good when used for good purposes, for serving the people being lead. Freedom of thought and independence should be admired and rewarded, not conformity and popularity. It takes the same effort to knock someone down as it does to lift them up. Children should be supporting one another instead of knocking each other down. But it has always been like that. Bullies are Bullies. Jocks are Jocks. Geeks are Geeks. It is time for this thinking to change.
It is time that everyone understands we are all one. It is time for us to shout this message.
Don't get me wrong, I understand that the reality is people who are not smart compensate to support their ego by expressing their physical superiority or resorting to emotional bludgeoning. This is the same treatment which they have most likely been subject to by their parents and other kids. I also understand that we can not easily alter the reality of multi millon dollar signing bonuses and the power that comes with wealth or the power that comes from manipulating or controlling others. The forces of human nature are most definitely at play here as well. We know that the one thing that separates us from other life forms on this planet is our ability to be self reflecting. Supposedly our ability to think makes us superior, but it does not guarantee that everyone will think appropriately. Only that they will think - occasionally before they act or speak.
Let us communicate this message with vigor and conviction at every possible opportunity. Perhaps one day we will all be able to look back - yes in our lifetime - and say "Look at the wondrous world we have helped to create. We are all one." We have not done enough to help people understand this truth which we have taken for granted. We have not done enough to get our educators to teach this or for the media to understand this. Muslim, Christian, Jew, Indian, Hindu, black, white, Asian - it does not matter - we are all one.
We must intervene. How? I do not know the specifics yet, but the time of reckoning is definitely upon us. If we do not do something soon, there could be very dire consequences for our future. Perhaps by just adding your thoughts to this dialogue and sharing this message with others you know via email, a small movement can be made. Great things come not from thinking good thoughts, but rather from communicating those thoughts to others and taking actions with right intent.
I look forward to the day when we can truly be one people of one world of one society with heterogeneous cultures mixing freely and often. This can not happen unless we all begin to share the message and expand this understanding of accepting everyone without exception. Taking a strangers hand in yours and saying "I do not know you, but we are one. Though we look different, possess a different set of cultural experiences and believe in different versions of God, you and I are the same. For this reason alone, I embrace you and call you friend."
The more this is discussed, the greater the impact which we can bring to bear. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Slashdot Mirror
Good evening,
8 249
It is not too often that I use the medium to send out missives beyond normal day to day communications, but on this occasion I am compelled to share some very important thoughts on the Colorado tragedy. It has bothered me for some time as I am sure it has also you. The problem being, I could not pinpoint exactly what chord it struck with me until today when I read this article on slashdot org that put it into perspective.
http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=99/04/25/143
The cross section of people I have mailed today probably only shares one commonality. We use the Internet to communicate. Other then that I know the experiences everyone has had are unique. Different cities, different lifestyles, different familial situations, different ages and different levels of "popularity" in school. In that only Jeanne and Ari knew me in High School, you probably have a distorted notion of how life must have been like for me in High School. Most everyone knows about my mother having Cerebral Palsy. Most of you know that I am fortunate to be somewhat intelligent. Most of you know me as being gregarious, fun loving and occasionally, pardon the phrase, cool.
What you do not know is how being intelligent affected my life in a negative way which I am only now beginning to grasp. While the acts of the killers in Colorado are deplorable and the thought that someone would become so twisted as to resort to those actions literally makes me sick, I do understand how they, and other youths around the country must have felt and are feeling now for being "different". The article I have linked above is a discussion of this with email excerpts from kids around the world describing how they are now being treated as a result of these two psycopaths(sp?). Rather then leading to more understanding of how society fosters this ostracism, it has only served to reinforce it and increase the intensity on all levels as evidenced by today's statement by the ACLU and the kids in the article.
I have never really discussed this with anyone until now so this may seem odd. When I was a child growing up in Miami, FL I was often ridiculed for many things from my general dorkiness to my "retarded" mother. Most of all though, I was tormented for being smart. Kids used to call me "encyclopedia head", "the dork with 2 brains", "eggbert" and a few would throw out "watermelon head" among other epitaphs. This occurred from my days at Elementary school all the way through High School. Fortunately I never did really get beat up for it, though the emotional abuse hurt tremendously.
What I did about it, as many others have done, was sacrifice part of my independence/originality in order to blend in better. For a long time I even referred to it as "my quest for normalcy" - presuming that there was something wrong with who I was. Even playing football my senior year of high school, other team members teased me. Still, I was not about to give up and I was able to break through many of my mental obstacles by sticking with it. I did manage to have a lot of fun in High School by going to parties and hanging out with my friend Ari, but wherever I went I did not feel like I fit in well with my peers so I hung out with a lot of sophomores and a few juniors. There were a few groups of people (they still call these 'cliques' without really understanding what they are) who would throw things at me, or hit me in the back of the head in class, generally insult me and literally push me around on occasion.
I did not have it nearly as bad as some of the other kids, I was fortunate as I was trying to blend in. But really as I look back, I was most unfortunate. Not for how I was treated, but for what I did to myself as a result of it. In order to fit it, I gave up my independence of thought and robbed myself of my confidence and acceptance of who I am. I essentially dumbed myself down to distance myself from that stereotype while dealing with many people and embracing it with others. Worse still, because I was trying to be normal and I came from the neighborhood that I did, even many of the smart kids (mostly sons and daughters of doctors, lawyers, professionals and entrepreneurs who lived around my High School) did not accept me. Despite these daily reminders of being different, I did have some good friends and I did have quite a good time.
Still, this has far reaching effects into my present day life which I will not explore here as this not about me. It is about the fact that what is happening today in our schools has always happened but it is more greatly magnified by the speed of our society and our communications. We saw this behavior. We lived through it in one way or another as either a participant or an observer. Why isn't the media talking to us (the graduates of the high school system from 8-15 years ago) about our experiences here and what we have learned from it. Trying to find out what the longer term effects of the "cooler then thou" attitude really are. We are still close to it, the first ones to come out of the system with computer skills and video game experiences, our collective insights and recollections would be of tremendous value to educators, politicians and most importantly, students.
The real tragedy of Littleton is that the general populace has yet to learn the real lesson. In absolute terms the deaths are tragic - so is the fear that has been created for all school going children. But more tragic still is that our children are not learning how to look at other human beings as their brothers and sisters. While there is no doubt that friends and a sense of identity are of paramount importance to a maturing mind, the exclusion of those who are different in any way is unconscionable in this day and age.
Though I do not want to digress profoundly from the reason for this email, it is for this reason that we are fighting in Yugoslavia today. One culture (which could be called a 'clique') wanting to get rid of another because they are different. Though violence is not the preferred solution, for some people (particularly Milosovic) that is all they understand. Of course, in school the option of choice has been to crack down on those who think differently and ostracize them further as you can read from the article. This obviously will only contribute to the underlying root cause instead of solving the problems we face as a society. Yes it starts in the home. Children of KKK families will learn to hate others who are different. It extends form the home to the community. It extends from the community to society as whole and is reinforced by media. Why can we not spread our positive message in the same manner. While I do not know how to deal with situations of hate like the KKK and and other groups who do not understand we are all the same despite cultural and physical differences.
The common thread has been revealed. It is not video games, it is not the Internet, it is that society as a whole going back to the smallest subset of the family has learned to covet and seek the wrong things. The notion of friendly competition is only that - a notion. Excelling at sports is great, but not without the education. Position and authority are only good when used for good purposes, for serving the people being lead. Freedom of thought and independence should be admired and rewarded, not conformity and popularity. It takes the same effort to knock someone down as it does to lift them up. Children should be supporting one another instead of knocking each other down. But it has always been like that. Bullies are Bullies. Jocks are Jocks. Geeks are Geeks. It is time for this thinking to change.
It is time that everyone understands we are all one. It is time for us to shout this message.
Don't get me wrong, I understand that the reality is people who are not smart compensate to support their ego by expressing their physical superiority or resorting to emotional bludgeoning. This is the same treatment which they have most likely been subject to by their parents and other kids. I also understand that we can not easily alter the reality of multi millon dollar signing bonuses and the power that comes with wealth or the power that comes from manipulating or controlling others. The forces of human nature are most definitely at play here as well. We know that the one thing that separates us from other life forms on this planet is our ability to be self reflecting. Supposedly our ability to think makes us superior, but it does not guarantee that everyone will think appropriately. Only that they will think - occasionally before they act or speak.
Let us communicate this message with vigor and conviction at every possible opportunity. Perhaps one day we will all be able to look back - yes in our lifetime - and say "Look at the wondrous world we have helped to create. We are all one." We have not done enough to help people understand this truth which we have taken for granted. We have not done enough to get our educators to teach this or for the media to understand this. Muslim, Christian, Jew, Indian, Hindu, black, white, Asian - it does not matter - we are all one.
We must intervene. How? I do not know the specifics yet, but the time of reckoning is definitely upon us. If we do not do something soon, there could be very dire consequences for our future. Perhaps by just adding your thoughts to this dialogue and sharing this message with others you know via email, a small movement can be made. Great things come not from thinking good thoughts, but rather from communicating those thoughts to others and taking actions with right intent.
I look forward to the day when we can truly be one people of one world of one society with heterogeneous cultures mixing freely and often. This can not happen unless we all begin to share the message and expand this understanding of accepting everyone without exception. Taking a strangers hand in yours and saying "I do not know you, but we are one. Though we look different, possess a different set of cultural experiences and believe in different versions of God, you and I are the same. For this reason alone, I embrace you and call you friend."
The more this is discussed, the greater the impact which we can bring to bear. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
With loving thoughts for you all,
Chris Heuer