Oh my. Oh my. I am astounded - very nearly wordless. CmdrTaco, your review was just so amazing... amazingly thoughtless and inane. I forgive you, because I expect you were too busy giving head to the studio execs to write something intelligent. Fellowship of the Ring sucked. 3 hours of the worst bullshit ever perpetrated on the world. Not once, from the very beginning, was that tripe true to the novel. Oh, you did know there was a novel, right? I suggest you go to your local bookstore and actually read it, you dumbass. I do not recall the ringwraiths setting out for the Shire immediately after Bilbo's birthday in the novel. I do not remember there being a hair-raising, Hollywood-esque chase through the night to the ferry, with Frodo heroically leaping to across the water at the last moment, barely escaping the wraith trailing behind him (apparently Hobbits are faster that horses...). Perhaps you remember Tom Bombadil? Or the Barrow-Downs? Or a certain letter left for Frodo by Gandalf at the Prancing Pony? And what the fuck was with that battle he had with Saruman? DEAR GOD. Is the only power those two have that of telekinesis? If they fought at all, it would be a battle of wills, not some shitty nonsense with them throwing each other against walls. And the palantir! Oh, the palantir! What the hell was the director thinking? That wasn't even supposed to be known until the 2nd book! But I forgive you for not knowing that - after all, you didn't even read the first book, let alone the others. Oh, there's more, so much more to say... Strider just happening to have 4 Hobbit-sized swords to just hand out when needed (what a fucking shitty workaround for the Barrow-Downs, too), fighting off, what was it, five Nazgul on his own, with just a sword and a torch?! Some stupid Elfen princess bitch showing up out of nowhere to bring Frodo across the river?! THEY INTRODUCED A NEW CHARACTER. HOLY SHIT. I have to stop now, I'm getting too pissed. I just have one last thing to say, though: next time you decide to write a fucking review of a movie, do the world a favor and drown yourself in a toilet first, ok?
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Oh my. Oh my. I am astounded - very nearly wordless. CmdrTaco, your review was just so amazing... amazingly thoughtless and inane. I forgive you, because I expect you were too busy giving head to the studio execs to write something intelligent. Fellowship of the Ring sucked. 3 hours of the worst bullshit ever perpetrated on the world. Not once, from the very beginning, was that tripe true to the novel. Oh, you did know there was a novel, right? I suggest you go to your local bookstore and actually read it, you dumbass. I do not recall the ringwraiths setting out for the Shire immediately after Bilbo's birthday in the novel. I do not remember there being a hair-raising, Hollywood-esque chase through the night to the ferry, with Frodo heroically leaping to across the water at the last moment, barely escaping the wraith trailing behind him (apparently Hobbits are faster that horses...). Perhaps you remember Tom Bombadil? Or the Barrow-Downs? Or a certain letter left for Frodo by Gandalf at the Prancing Pony? And what the fuck was with that battle he had with Saruman? DEAR GOD. Is the only power those two have that of telekinesis? If they fought at all, it would be a battle of wills, not some shitty nonsense with them throwing each other against walls. And the palantir! Oh, the palantir! What the hell was the director thinking? That wasn't even supposed to be known until the 2nd book! But I forgive you for not knowing that - after all, you didn't even read the first book, let alone the others. Oh, there's more, so much more to say... Strider just happening to have 4 Hobbit-sized swords to just hand out when needed (what a fucking shitty workaround for the Barrow-Downs, too), fighting off, what was it, five Nazgul on his own, with just a sword and a torch?! Some stupid Elfen princess bitch showing up out of nowhere to bring Frodo across the river?! THEY INTRODUCED A NEW CHARACTER. HOLY SHIT. I have to stop now, I'm getting too pissed. I just have one last thing to say, though: next time you decide to write a fucking review of a movie, do the world a favor and drown yourself in a toilet first, ok?