Darl here, with another fine Fr1st P0st. After all -- SCO did
everything first, and the rest of the responses to this story will owe
their heritage to a foundation built on SCO's staff of talented programmers.
You may be wondering why SCO salesmen are not answering your numerous
calls while you try to order more SCO licenses. Well, we aren't answering
the phones because we're too busy celebrating our newest
business partner. Rather than explaining it myself, I'll let our formal press
release do the talking. Take it away, Mr. Reuters...
LINDON, Utah, Sept. 8/PRNewswire - FirstCall/ -- The SCO Group,
Inc. (Nasdaq: SCOX - News), the owner and licensor of the core UNIX
operating system source code, today announced its second Fortune 500 clent for
the SCO Linux IP license, the GNAA (Nasdaq: RHAT - News), developer of
fine Slashdot trolls on irc.efnet.net #GNAA, also well-known for
revolutionizing small business development with its "Step 2: ??????" profit
model. The availability of the SCO Intellectual Property License for Linux
affords Linux deployments to come into compliance with international law for
the use of all 2.4 and future kernels. The run-time license permits the use of
SCO's intellectual property, in binary form only, as contained in Linux
distributions.
By purchasing a SCO Intellectual Property License, customers avoid
infringement of SCO's intellectual property rights in Linux 2.4 and Linux 2.5
kernels and assure Darl financial security for the purchase of his second home.
Because the SCO license authorizes run-time use only, customers also comply
with the General Public License, under which Linux is distributed. Source may
still be distributed under the terms of the GPL, however source distributors
are held accountable for all violation of SCO's IP. Indemnification is provided
for customers of runtime clients only. Read that twice, dirty hippy. You're not
in the clear yet.
GNAA spokesperson penisbird said of the licensure, "coming into compliance
affords us a new competitive advantage with the other Slashdot authors. By
being in the right, we can thumb down our noses at not only the Windows users
and the BSD-thieving Mac Users, but also the unwashed Linux hippies running
stolen code on their parents' PCs." VP of anus enlargement goat-see added,
"fr1st p0st? damn i miss. how do i next story?"
Mr. Darl McBride concurred with GNAA's analysis, adding "We soon hope to
convince additional clients such as Trollklore and Cabal of Logged In Trolls of
the benefits of licensing SCO's valuable IP. Also, I <3 GNAA bunny. (@.@)"
JesuitX clarified the nature of the SCO and GNAA alliance, adding "We're more
than just a licensing client. We're also going to be helping to bring these
other potential licensors into compliance. We can break them in little by
little as paying sublicensors. The alternative is pretty horrible. Our lawyers
can take a reticent client from virgin to hello.jpg [figure
2] in under an hour, and believe me -- it is not pleasant."
Commander Taco was unavailable for comment, however Cowboy Kneel was said to
ask for a print of [figure 2] for his basement apartment. Simoniker remained
British and unable to spell "color," while Timothy responded by posting the
same story six times, and Hemos reposted a seventh time, the submission
differing only from his application of that damned Einstein icon.
If you have mod points and would like to support GNAA, please moderate this post up.
Chapter 1
"Mary, leave my cock alone!"
"But Steve, I wanna do it. Come on, honey. Pleeease, do it for me."
Mary pumped hard on her husband's cock trying desperately to make him cum. She was on her knees in front of him, her fist a blur as it moved back and forth along his erection. Each time Steve backed up, Mary walked on her knees maintaining her position. Finally Steve backed up against the wall.
"Okay, that's enough!" the distraught husband yelled at his wife.
He grabbed her pumping hand and tried to yank it off his dick. She put up a fierce fight and tightened her grip on his meat. When he pulled her wrist hard to free himself, her death-grip wrenched his sensitive organ.
"Ooww! Oh shit. Let go, damn it! Oowweeeee!"
The painful screech that emitted from her husband caused Mary to release his cock. She looked up at him, half concerned and half afraid.
"What the fuck are you trying to do?" he scolded her. "Rip it off?"
"Okay Steve, maybe I got carried away," she tried to explain, "but I really want to win that $5,000."
As the pain between his legs diminished, Steve looked down at his young wife. Ordinarily he would never think of fighting off one of her hand-jobs. Hell, he remembered when he used to have to beg for one. But this was different. His wife wanted to use their recently purchased digital camera to enter an amateur cum contest. That's right, she wanted Steve to cum on her face and take a picture of her so that she could send the picture to an amateur website offering $5,000 for the best picture.
"Listen Mary, I'm not going to have my wife's cum-splattered face all over the Internet."
"Um, what if I couldn't be recognized?" she countered.
"What... what do you mean?
"Remember that wig I wore for Halloween? You know, the Elvira wig. When I wore that long black wig over my short blonde hair you said I looked like a different woman. That even you'd have a hard time recognizing me. You even asked me to wear it while you fucked me. Remember, you said it was like fucking a stranger."
After contemplating his wife's counter-offer Steve said, "Maybe that'll work. Go make yourself up and let me see."
Mary scurried to her closet like a little girl getting ready to pull a prank. She retrieved the items from the closet and ran to the bathroom. There, she put on long, dark, fake eyelashes, darkened her eyebrows with make-up pencil, and donned the long black wig. She looked at herself in the mirror and smiled wickedly. The reflection was of a totally different looking woman. She knew she could play one of her husband's fantasies and get her way. The altered Mary slowly emerged from the bathroom as a new person.
"Hello handsome," she purred as she entered the bedroom, "see anything you like?"
Mary stretched her arms above her head accentuating her large breasts with their erect nipples. Then one hand began massaging her tit while the other slid between her legs and stroked her pussy.
"I'm so hot for you," she continued her role play. "When I saw you outside I had to follow you into your house. My pussy got wet when I sneaked by your wife downstairs. Knowing that I'm going to fuck you while your wife is in the house really turns me on."
Steve began panting. It was as if a total stranger was seducing him. His cock became semi-erect.
"Ooooo, look at your cock. It's happy to see me."
Mary sauntered over to her befuddled husband and teasingly slid the finger that was in her pussy under his nose. She watched as his nostrils flared as he inhaled her scent. Then she slipped the moist finger into his mouth and watched him suck on it. She slowly moved it in and out simulating the fucking motion. When she heard the moan come from deep within her husband, Mary knew he was ready.
As she slid to her knees, the sly wife dragged her lips down Steve's chest and belly. From time to time she licked his skin very softly. The "cghcghcgh" sound that escaped from his throat reassured her she was doing it correctly. As her face passed his bellybutton, Steve's now hard cock stabbed her under the chin.
"Oh, what do we have here?
i run my fingers over your stomach
light as a feather my touch
and hot as an ember
can you feel me trembling...
your skin is so beautiful
soft like a cloud
silky smooth
oh..the anticipation...
will you let my tongue
taste you
will you let me dip my finger
to explore your soul
my travels continue
i map your body with my senses
the wetness of my tongue
circles your taught hard nipples
oh the joy of those breasts in my mouth
our breath quickens
the air is electric
you are all that i see
this moment of time
embeds itself inside of me
you open your legs to me
and grabbing my hair,
you beg for me to please you
i grin devilishly at the thought
my tongue bends to your will
the fire inside of you
explodes in my mouth
this newness i never dreamed existed
is so real and so potent
i flicker your lips with my tongue
i nibble your folds
and watch you squirm
my tongue reaches inside
and heaven awaits me
you thrust yourself against me
urging me, wanting me
challenging me
i accept with a low moan
as my tongue explores ever deeper
you make me so wet
you make me want to eat you up
to make you scream with pleasure
and purr like a pussy cat
my tongue ignites your senses
and together we edge closer to the brink
let me touch those lovely breasts again
let me fuck you and fuck you and fuck you
torture you with this intense joy
i slip my finger into your pussy
feel the honey all around me
slip another inside the door
and begin to strike the rhythm
the primal beat goes on forever
the drums crash into the air
i watch you thrash your head from side to side
your own hands rubbing your body
and your mouth open, inviting
i plunge deeper and faster
harder and quicker
matching your moans
my mouth covers your nipples
sucking and licking
the final thrust hears you yell
OH GOD OH GOD
intense rippling heat
cascading through your body
your back arching to the ceiling
and then
the quiet
yes the quiet
savour the moment
revel in the warmth
but please lean over my way
and purrrrr deep in my ear
OH YES, purrr purrrr my pussy cat
for soon we will be hungry once again....
Slashdot Mirror
Darl here, with another fine Fr1st P0st. After all -- SCO did everything first, and the rest of the responses to this story will owe their heritage to a foundation built on SCO's staff of talented programmers.
You may be wondering why SCO salesmen are not answering your numerous calls while you try to order more SCO licenses. Well, we aren't answering the phones because we're too busy celebrating our newest business partner. Rather than explaining it myself, I'll let our formal press release do the talking. Take it away, Mr. Reuters...
LINDON, Utah, Sept. 8/PRNewswire - FirstCall/ -- The SCO Group, Inc. (Nasdaq: SCOX - News), the owner and licensor of the core UNIX operating system source code, today announced its second Fortune 500 clent for the SCO Linux IP license, the GNAA (Nasdaq: RHAT - News), developer of fine Slashdot trolls on irc.efnet.net #GNAA, also well-known for revolutionizing small business development with its "Step 2: ??????" profit model. The availability of the SCO Intellectual Property License for Linux affords Linux deployments to come into compliance with international law for the use of all 2.4 and future kernels. The run-time license permits the use of SCO's intellectual property, in binary form only, as contained in Linux distributions.
By purchasing a SCO Intellectual Property License, customers avoid infringement of SCO's intellectual property rights in Linux 2.4 and Linux 2.5 kernels and assure Darl financial security for the purchase of his second home. Because the SCO license authorizes run-time use only, customers also comply with the General Public License, under which Linux is distributed. Source may still be distributed under the terms of the GPL, however source distributors are held accountable for all violation of SCO's IP. Indemnification is provided for customers of runtime clients only. Read that twice, dirty hippy. You're not in the clear yet.
GNAA spokesperson penisbird said of the licensure, "coming into compliance affords us a new competitive advantage with the other Slashdot authors. By being in the right, we can thumb down our noses at not only the Windows users and the BSD-thieving Mac Users, but also the unwashed Linux hippies running stolen code on their parents' PCs." VP of anus enlargement goat-see added, "fr1st p0st? damn i miss. how do i next story?"
Mr. Darl McBride concurred with GNAA's analysis, adding "We soon hope to convince additional clients such as Trollklore and Cabal of Logged In Trolls of the benefits of licensing SCO's valuable IP. Also, I <3 GNAA bunny. (@.@)" JesuitX clarified the nature of the SCO and GNAA alliance, adding "We're more than just a licensing client. We're also going to be helping to bring these other potential licensors into compliance. We can break them in little by little as paying sublicensors. The alternative is pretty horrible. Our lawyers can take a reticent client from virgin to hello.jpg [figure 2] in under an hour, and believe me -- it is not pleasant."
Commander Taco was unavailable for comment, however Cowboy Kneel was said to ask for a print of [figure 2] for his basement apartment. Simoniker remained British and unable to spell "color," while Timothy responded by posting the same story six times, and Hemos reposted a seventh time, the submission differing only from his application of that damned Einstein icon.
If you have mod points and would like to support GNAA, please moderate this post up.
________________________________________________
| ______________________________________._a,____ |
| _______a_.______
Chapter 1 "Mary, leave my cock alone!" "But Steve, I wanna do it. Come on, honey. Pleeease, do it for me." Mary pumped hard on her husband's cock trying desperately to make him cum. She was on her knees in front of him, her fist a blur as it moved back and forth along his erection. Each time Steve backed up, Mary walked on her knees maintaining her position. Finally Steve backed up against the wall. "Okay, that's enough!" the distraught husband yelled at his wife. He grabbed her pumping hand and tried to yank it off his dick. She put up a fierce fight and tightened her grip on his meat. When he pulled her wrist hard to free himself, her death-grip wrenched his sensitive organ. "Ooww! Oh shit. Let go, damn it! Oowweeeee!" The painful screech that emitted from her husband caused Mary to release his cock. She looked up at him, half concerned and half afraid. "What the fuck are you trying to do?" he scolded her. "Rip it off?" "Okay Steve, maybe I got carried away," she tried to explain, "but I really want to win that $5,000." As the pain between his legs diminished, Steve looked down at his young wife. Ordinarily he would never think of fighting off one of her hand-jobs. Hell, he remembered when he used to have to beg for one. But this was different. His wife wanted to use their recently purchased digital camera to enter an amateur cum contest. That's right, she wanted Steve to cum on her face and take a picture of her so that she could send the picture to an amateur website offering $5,000 for the best picture. "Listen Mary, I'm not going to have my wife's cum-splattered face all over the Internet." "Um, what if I couldn't be recognized?" she countered. "What... what do you mean? "Remember that wig I wore for Halloween? You know, the Elvira wig. When I wore that long black wig over my short blonde hair you said I looked like a different woman. That even you'd have a hard time recognizing me. You even asked me to wear it while you fucked me. Remember, you said it was like fucking a stranger." After contemplating his wife's counter-offer Steve said, "Maybe that'll work. Go make yourself up and let me see." Mary scurried to her closet like a little girl getting ready to pull a prank. She retrieved the items from the closet and ran to the bathroom. There, she put on long, dark, fake eyelashes, darkened her eyebrows with make-up pencil, and donned the long black wig. She looked at herself in the mirror and smiled wickedly. The reflection was of a totally different looking woman. She knew she could play one of her husband's fantasies and get her way. The altered Mary slowly emerged from the bathroom as a new person. "Hello handsome," she purred as she entered the bedroom, "see anything you like?" Mary stretched her arms above her head accentuating her large breasts with their erect nipples. Then one hand began massaging her tit while the other slid between her legs and stroked her pussy. "I'm so hot for you," she continued her role play. "When I saw you outside I had to follow you into your house. My pussy got wet when I sneaked by your wife downstairs. Knowing that I'm going to fuck you while your wife is in the house really turns me on." Steve began panting. It was as if a total stranger was seducing him. His cock became semi-erect. "Ooooo, look at your cock. It's happy to see me." Mary sauntered over to her befuddled husband and teasingly slid the finger that was in her pussy under his nose. She watched as his nostrils flared as he inhaled her scent. Then she slipped the moist finger into his mouth and watched him suck on it. She slowly moved it in and out simulating the fucking motion. When she heard the moan come from deep within her husband, Mary knew he was ready. As she slid to her knees, the sly wife dragged her lips down Steve's chest and belly. From time to time she licked his skin very softly. The "cghcghcgh" sound that escaped from his throat reassured her she was doing it correctly. As her face passed his bellybutton, Steve's now hard cock stabbed her under the chin. "Oh, what do we have here?
i run my fingers over your stomach light as a feather my touch and hot as an ember can you feel me trembling... your skin is so beautiful soft like a cloud silky smooth oh..the anticipation... will you let my tongue taste you will you let me dip my finger to explore your soul my travels continue i map your body with my senses the wetness of my tongue circles your taught hard nipples oh the joy of those breasts in my mouth our breath quickens the air is electric you are all that i see this moment of time embeds itself inside of me you open your legs to me and grabbing my hair, you beg for me to please you i grin devilishly at the thought my tongue bends to your will the fire inside of you explodes in my mouth this newness i never dreamed existed is so real and so potent i flicker your lips with my tongue i nibble your folds and watch you squirm my tongue reaches inside and heaven awaits me you thrust yourself against me urging me, wanting me challenging me i accept with a low moan as my tongue explores ever deeper you make me so wet you make me want to eat you up to make you scream with pleasure and purr like a pussy cat my tongue ignites your senses and together we edge closer to the brink let me touch those lovely breasts again let me fuck you and fuck you and fuck you torture you with this intense joy i slip my finger into your pussy feel the honey all around me slip another inside the door and begin to strike the rhythm the primal beat goes on forever the drums crash into the air i watch you thrash your head from side to side your own hands rubbing your body and your mouth open, inviting i plunge deeper and faster harder and quicker matching your moans my mouth covers your nipples sucking and licking the final thrust hears you yell OH GOD OH GOD intense rippling heat cascading through your body your back arching to the ceiling and then the quiet yes the quiet savour the moment revel in the warmth but please lean over my way and purrrrr deep in my ear OH YES, purrr purrrr my pussy cat for soon we will be hungry once again....