Slashdot Mirror


User: samvo

samvo's activity in the archive.

Stories
0
Comments
3
First seen
Last seen
Profile
(view on slashdot.org)

Comments · 3

  1. Re:Holy grail of programming languages on A Brief History of Programming Languages? · · Score: 5, Funny

    Assembly Coders - these are extinct group of primitive form of life
    before the advent of culture and civilisation, althought without access
    to any formal human-recognizable language structure they were amazingly
    versatile in their skills to construct reality by pushing and popping strings of
    little pebbles from holes dug in the ground. Ancient arcade machines
    sometimes found in desolate pubs testify to their once glorious existance.

    C - C Programmers are more like highly evolved alien beings from outer space
    who spoke purely in binary and pointers. They often take the disguise as
    unsightly middle aged man with beard and glasses amongst earthlings.
    They do not care for the artifacts of language or culture, they only care
    for the semantics. Their job is to construct and engineer the roads,
    the transportation, the network lines, the infrasture that our civilazation
    have come to depend very much on. They are very hard to communicate with as
    intepreting their language requires unusually greater IQ than most of
    our earthlings can aspire to.

    C++ - C++ Programmers are born again C programmers who realised their
    folly of seeing the world in pure binary and pointers. They want to see
    reality more concretely thus they talk in objects and classes.
    More often than not, C++ Programmers are still attached to their
    old ways and their attempts to communicate with others often result
    in abstrated hodgepodge just as complicated as the C
    language. Most C++ Programmers feel they may have had a
    deprived childhood.

    Java - Java Programmers are like C++ programmers except they were
    brought up in aristrocat families. Their manners in their language
    are refined and elegant althought at times may appear slightly
    pretentious and artificial. They are very socially closed and
    mix with their own kind only, basically they dont like outsiders
    playing in their upper-middle class private school sandbox.
    Being economically previliged means they have ample access to inheritance
    like network libraries, etc. Although their reputation is good amongst
    corporate circles, they are rumoured to be impotent when it comes to GUI.

    Visual Basic - Visual Basic programmers are perceived to be like your
    every day a dime a dozen computer science graduates. They
    are naive, confident and sometimes a little brash in their perceived
    ability to deal with the real world. Their language developed from high school
    jargons and street slang though highly vulgar in the eyes of other programmers,
    were often effective (or adequate) in solving a lot of every day
    ordinary kitchen and sink problems. Often the case, a job completed
    by a Visual Basic programmer, thought cheap and fast leaves little to be desired,
    tales of half patched pipes leaking from under kitchen sink are
    well known in the industry.

    C# - C# Programmers are Java programmers wannabes wanting to achieve the same
    social status and previledge that Java programmers have, C# programmers
    lacks the authentic social grace and ethics that could help them rise above the
    Visual Basic suburbia coarse mentality that tends to predominate them. C# Programmers
    also tends to like screen widgets that are glitzy. They are the type of people
    that the marketing department love to target in their product focus group.

    COBOL - Cobol Programmers are not really people, they were actually mutated
    from hole-punch card readers. they have no human affectations
    and thus are very capable of churning out millions of incredibly mundane and
    humanly degrading pages and pages of printed accounts reconciliation codes.
    although they were disbanded by the human rights organisation, Cobol
    programmers were actively recruited just before the millineum to solve the Y2k bug
    which they were originally responsible for.

    Fabled Programmers - the are many species of programmers that claim
    to exist but no one have ever met any of these illusive creatures in

  2. Re: Why?? The Demise of Microsoft on Keeping Microsoft Happy · · Score: 2, Interesting

    The Demise of Microsoft

    In the long saga of the battle between the world and its detested adversary,
    the Microsoft corporation, everybody is dying to see how the movie end.
    Everybody also knows that in the movie the antagonist always dies at the end,
    but the question is how? To most who detest Microsoft vehemently they would
    like to see a quick and horrid death and those who detest even more so would
    only find a sadistic pleasure in seeing nothing less than having Microsoft being
    slowly skinned alive on a burning stake.

    An IT Fairy Tale

    Once upon the time, there was a computer software company named Microsoft,
    whose craftiness in marketing made it become one of the most popular software company
    on the planet. However, once that company attained its dominant position
    in the marketplace, greed and fear filled the unsettled soul of Microsoft.
    The company then aggressively pursued and eliminated almost all of its contenders,
    names that once were legends one by one fell to Microsoft's sword, WordPerfect,
    Borland, Novell, Netscape, Corel and more. Soon, people saw Microsoft for what
    it was, a cunning roguish company that had no conscience to stop itself doing whatever
    it needs to achieve its ambitions. All the other software companies
    realized that there will be no end to Microsoft's unquenchable thirst for power but
    none dared to challenge Microsoft until one day a young knight developed an operating
    system called Linux. Linux came with a license called Open Source, which represented
    to all the other companies a platform from which they can rally together in a
    silent treaty to overthrow the software tyrant. One day, Microsoft woke up
    and saw a huge army amassed upon the hills, companies that once were shot, wounded,
    cheated and humiliated now all carry the same banner, the flag of Linux. Amongst
    the valiant warriors, were IBM, Novell, Sun, Oracle, Sony, Fujitsu, Red Hat and CA and
    amongst the catapults and shields they used were forged from the power of Open Source,
    Apache, OpenOffice, Mozilla, PosgreSQL, MySql, Python, PHP, Samba and much
    more. What Microsoft saw shook its heart, however its power to control the market
    is still immense and with 56 billion dollars in the vault, its going to put up a very
    good fight. This is the year 2004 and the battle has just begun.

    The Crystal Ball

    So my young seer, you wish to see how this battle unfold? First, you have to understand
    how unlike previous battles where the companies were easily and ruthlessly cut down
    by Microsoft, this time the catapults and shields that the Allies formed from Open Source
    were impenetrable, in fact, the more Microsoft attacked the slowly advancing catapults and

    shields,
    the stronger the catapults and shields became. How can that be? The magic of Open Source.
    All artifacts created from Open Source do not obey the laws of the jungle, first of all
    artifacts are immortalized by having the source code freely distributed across the
    earth, as Microsoft attacks one point more heads would sprout from different places.
    Another power of Open Source is leverage, in the old times when a developer was to
    write a software, he practically has to write most of the libraries himself/herself or
    purchase or license expensive code sets from other companies like Microsoft. Nowadays,
    these libraries are all available freely from Open Source, graphics libraries,
    network libraries, XML libraries, parsers, compilers, were all there for all to share.
    This is the leverage that hasn't been available to developers before, now all the
    Davids have slingshots.

    Rebellion of the Serfs

    Back to that same once ancient period, almost all developers lived under the direction and
    command of Microsoft. Their blind obedience contributed immensely to
    the growth of Microsoft. They created applications of all sorts of shapes
    and sizes which made the Microsoft platform very popular. All these t

  3. Re:DIE $MICROSOFT DIE!! on Microsoft To Share Office Source Code · · Score: 4, Funny


    The Demise of Microsoft

    In the long saga of the battle between the world and its detested adversary,
    the Microsoft corporation, everybody is dying to see how the movie end.
    Everybody also knows that in the movie the antagonist always dies at the end,
    but the question is how? To most who detest Microsoft vehemently they would
    like to see a quick and horrid death and those who detest even more so would
    only find a sadistic pleasure in seeing nothing less than having Microsoft being
    slowly skinned alive on a burning stake.

    An IT Fairy Tale

    Once upon the time, there was a computer software company named Microsoft,
    whose craftiness in marketing made it become one of the most popular software company
    on the planet. However, once that company attained its dominant position
    in the marketplace, greed and fear filled the unsettled soul of Microsoft.
    The company then aggressively pursued and eliminated almost all of its contenders,
    names that once were legends one by one fell to Microsoft's sword, WordPerfect,
    Borland, Novell, Netscape, Corel and more. Soon, people saw Microsoft for what
    it was, a cunning roguish company that had no conscience to stop itself doing whatever
    it needs to achieve its ambitions. All the other software companies
    realized that there will be no end to Microsoft's unquenchable thirst for power but
    none dared to challenge Microsoft until one day a young knight developed an operating
    system called Linux. Linux came with a license called Open Source, which represented
    to all the other companies a platform from which they can rally together in a
    silent treaty to overthrow the software tyrant. One day, Microsoft woke up
    and saw a huge army amassed upon the hills, companies that once were shot, wounded,
    cheated and humiliated now all carry the same banner, the flag of Linux. Amongst
    the valiant warriors, were IBM, Novell, Sun, Oracle, Sony, Fujitsu, Red Hat and CA and
    amongst the catapults and shields they used were forged from the power of Open Source,
    Apache, OpenOffice, Mozilla, PosgreSQL, MySql, Python, PHP, Samba and much
    more. What Microsoft saw shook its heart, however its power to control the market
    is still immense and with 56 billion dollars in the vault, its going to put up a very
    good fight. This is the year 2004 and the battle has just begun.

    The Crystal Ball

    So my young seer, you wish to see how this battle unfold? First, you have to understand
    how unlike previous battles where the companies were easily and ruthlessly cut down
    by Microsoft, this time the catapults and shields that the Allies formed from Open Source
    were impenetrable, in fact, the more Microsoft attacked the slowly advancing catapults and shields,
    the stronger the catapults and shields became. How can that be? The magic of Open Source.
    All artifacts created from Open Source do not obey the laws of the jungle, first of all
    artifacts are immortalized by having the source code freely distributed across the
    earth, as Microsoft attacks one point more heads would sprout from different places.
    Another power of Open Source is leverage, in the old times when a developer was to
    write a software, he practically has to write most of the libraries himself/herself or
    purchase or license expensive code sets from other companies like Microsoft. Nowadays,
    these libraries are all available freely from Open Source, graphics libraries,
    network libraries, XML libraries, parsers, compilers, were all there for all to share.
    This is the leverage that hasn't been available to developers before, now all the
    Davids have slingshots.

    Rebellion of the Serfs

    Back to that same once ancient period, almost all developers lived under the direction and
    command of Microsoft. Their blind obedience contributed immensely to
    the growth of Microsoft. They created applications of all sorts of shapes
    and sizes which made the Microsoft platform very popular. All these times