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So with the end of the world less than 48 hours a way, it seemed necessary that CowboyNeal, Hemos, the Pope, and myself all pile into CowboyNeal's gigantic truck thing and trek over to the local mega grocery store to prepare for the upcoming apocolypse. Click the link below to read exciting excerpts from our shopping list... if enough of you do so, then we can officially declare our purchases as tax deductable! Now we'll just cross our fingers and hope that whatever regime seizes control of michigan on Jan. 2 honors deductions from the previous government. CmdrTaco & The Pope's shopping cart

First off I needed self defense. Since it was snowing, I decided that a large snow shovel would nicely fill the 2 roles: Convenient weapon to be used against intruders aiming to steal my waffles, and after the dust settles, I can also use it to prevent the pizza man from slipping on the ice on my porch and suing me (Or worse, dropping my pizza into the snow!)

Now that I can defend myself, its time to feed myself. I made a fatal assumption: Almost all of my food purchases were microwavable. I purchased a gigantic "Feeds 8" box of lasagna. Since I don't each much, I figure it can last me a month or more. Especially because I'll probably have to it it frozen. Nothing fills you up like an ounce or two of frozen lasagna. My other major food purchase was a box of 60 microwavable waffles, a jello dessert treat, and ingrediants to make tacos on 2 seperate occasions.

Since I'm not relying on my microwave to work, I purchased a bottle of Irish Whiskey and a bottle of Vodka. The Pope opted the yuppie route and selected a bottle of Bombay Saphire gin, vermouth, and olives. The world may be ending, but he'll be having a 9 martini end of days.

For entertainment, I selected 'Hercules', the classic disney film of only a few years ago featuring Susan Egan on vocals, and the amazing Andreas Deja animating a hero instead of the mega villian for once. Again, I realize this is short sighted since my DVD player will require electricity, so as a backup plan, I purchased the most recent issue of the National Enquirer so that after the fall of civilization I could thrill to the stunning tales of George W Bush's Jr's torrid affair, as well as Shania Twain returning to her hubby following... a torrid affair.

Hemos' Shopping Cart I suspect that Meijer's, a friendly local mega-grocery-hardware-pharmacist-greenhouse-furniture-photo-store was not quite anticipating the sheer flood of people coming in for the "The Apocalypse". However, through sheer perseverance, I was able to secure the most hallowed of all shopping treasures:

6 Gallons Distilled Water. And Whiskey.

That's right - not only will I be able to keep myself drinking clean water, and brushing my teeth regularly (With my new tube of toothpaste, Item #4125056208) as well as flossing (Item #381370099183) but I'll have also have the gift of alcohol. With my natural and well known affinity to Bushmills, I'm already planning how I'll turn the Geek Compound into the Midwest's most powerful distillery. I've drawn up plans on how to convert my former burned out home into a giant high class distillery. From there, we'll extend our control of surrounding area, and parley it into control of the Greater Great Lakes area.

Yes, the power of whiskey.

While those plans are working out though, unlike Rob, I've actually purchased canned goods that I can eat. Yes, stretching from tuna fish to chicken in a can, I'll be sitting and riding on the high hog post World Wide collapse. Assuming my can opener is Y2k compliant.

I also purchased quite a number of vitamins. To understand this point, you should understand that I take about five pills per day - ginseng, selenium, a multivitamin, and a B complex. Wanting to maintain my health and girlish figure for the next thousand years, I've procured the above vitamins - in bulk. Yes, if it weren't for that damn half-life problem I'd be popping vitamins and experiencing natural organic growth for the next thousand years.

sigh But the best purchase of all is the one I couldn't put on there. I've got myself a 50 gallon drum of nanites, which I'll be using to recreate the world as I see fit. I'm thinking Teletubbies.

CowboyNeal's Shopping Cart My list is short. I've been in survival situations before (I'm referring to family get-togethers here) so I know how to make the most of a situation and be resourceful.

First up, plenty of beer. I figured I was gonna need it to celebrate the new year anyway, and if something should go awry, it'll help dull the pain in my final hours, not to mention that a broken beer bottle makes an excellent weapon for hand-to-hand combat. My choice in brew (for the inquisitive) was Bass Pale Ale.

A snow shovel. Since I moved, I've been without s snow shovel, which has been a bit of a pain since Michigan is an area that seems to attract quite a bit of snow. If the apocalypse should happen to miss me, I still think there will be snow to shovel in the next millenium. Also, it makes a wonderful weapon for self-defense, but with a much longer range than the beer bottles. (CT:The epic battles between CowboyNeal and CmdrTaco will do for shovel combat what The Highlander did for swords. Check your listings for pay per view showtimes).

Candles. And not just any candles, I got religous candles. Each one has a prayer unique to that candle. I"m not even Catholic, but I figure I may need light when the power goes out, and why not have God's help on my side? If I am gonna survive, why not do it piously? I'm already thanking God that they were priced to move.

Batteries. My usefulness for a generator could come and go, but I figure batteries will stay in style well into the next millenium. I got enough to power my flashlights and some for my discman as well. Regardless of what happens, I'm sure they'll see some use.

I didn't concern myself with food or water so much, because I figured I could just melt some of the endless supply of snow outside for water, my parent's house is just a short drive away where my father will no doubt be out killing for food first chance he gets.

Cy Guy writes "ZDNET had an article on CYE, a personal robot that will vacuum, collect dirty dishes and serve cocktails. " This is exactly what Rob needs-and if it can serve Bushmills or Jamison up, I'll be happy as a clam.

Been meaning to write this one for a while, but you know how time is. The following is an account of a...misadventure had by myself, OctobrX and Rob Walker of VA Research while at the Atlanta Linux Showcase (which was great, BTW). None of the names have been changed, because, well, no one's an innocent these days. Click below for the story. So, it's the end of the Atlanta Linux Showcase. OctobrX, Rob Walker from VA Research and I are sent on a mission. VA has come along with enough computers to crack the RC5 challenge in a few seconds. Add in a bunch of big monitors, letting lots of people (like us) use their machines in their booth, and one kick-butt looking booth, and they have a shipping nightmare.

I came back from visiting around, and found Rob and OctobrX talking about going to Office Max to pick up shipping plastic. This stuff is like the Samsonite of saran wrap. If you've been to one of the mega-stores and seen their pallets wrapped in this plastic wrap, that's the stuff. You could wrap bodies in this and ship them all over the world--or 21" monitor boxes. Whichever. VA had a distinct lack of this wrap-that is, zero. Rob had been sent on a mission to get it, and since OctobrX was a local, he was co-opted for geographical knowledge. I was just along for the ride.

First stop was the area Office Max. Despite what appeared to be an abundance of office supply products, we met with along zeros when asking about the location of this particular type of shipping material. Rob went so far as to ask the store personnel, who responded with the ever witty "Well, if's not out there, then we don't have it. I don't know who has it. Try Office Depot, or Home Depot."

Never to be stopped in our valiant quest for massive amounts of what is essentially really big saran wrap, OctobrX hurtled up this through rush hour Atlanta traffic, until we pulled around the hill to Avalo....er...Home Depot. Draped across the front of the store was a massive sign stating in exciting letters "Open 24 hours a day". Up in the front, Rob began to drool excitedly at the thought of a 24/7 Home Depot, and verbally fell over himself trying to describe the elation and ecstasy that he felt in his heart. If only he knew the toils and troubles this store would bring down on us.

We entered the store and began excitedly looking at all of the wrapping plastic--ladders, paint, people...er, no. Every pallet in the place had this wrapping plastic around it. We began searching the store for the locale of this fabled substance. One issue-this Home Depot was approximately the size of the greater Chicago land area-I figure it had to be at least two or three thousand acres large. We wandered up and down, admiring the high quality designer plumbing supplies, and finding rolls of the plastic wrapping sitting on top of different products.

Rob, being the ever-resourceful individual that he is, took one as a, ah, "prop". We asked where we could find more and were directed down the main aisle. Here we met Jerome. Jerome would be our contact for the reminder of our Home Depot adventure. Upon encountering him, Rob asked excitedly where we could buy some of this amazing stuff.

The word from on was that we couldn't.

No, apparently this material which was used extensively throughout the store for exactly what we wanted it for--wrapping products, was reserved solely for use within the store. More and more employees gathered around as we began to hold a heated "discussion" about whether or not we could obtain said product.

Even with offers of bribery in the air, Jerome stood firm. After more begging, pleading, and wheedling, we managed to get the manager on the phone. Jerome, OctobrX, and myself stood by while watching Rob on the phone.

For those of you who have never had the pleasure of watching Rob in action, imagine the most persuasive phone voice you've ever heard, combined with someone who will never let you get a word in edgewise, and has that know-it-all voice developed from years of tech support.

It doesn't even come close to Mr. Rob Walker. The phone is putty in his hands.

After literally fifteen minutes of watching Rob, talking about the convention, /. and themes and Linux with the assorted employees gathered to watch the spectacle, the manager was finished with Rob, and wanted to speak with Jerome. Jerome talked, looked at us a few times, and then hung up the phone.

To get a clear picture of this, you should understand Jerome is not a small man. Jerome is stout, well-muscled guy. So's Trae, but hey, it's Jerome's store. Jerome turns to and says in a somewhat gravelly voice: "I'm supposed to escort you out of the store."

Rob looks a little surprised and responded with "No, you don't mean it, right?"

Jerome shook his head, smiles, and told us to follow him-Rob had managed to convince the manager of the value the Home Depot was supplying to us, faithful customers, and what a service they were doing for the community. Well, probably some of that, but also just trying to get Rob off the phone probably had a good deal to do with it as well.

Smiling like me after three or four shots Bushmills, we walked through the store. Rob and Jerome vanish for a few moments, we get our plastic priced, and leave the store. We walked back in a few minutes later to give to Jerome the VA, themes, /., and freshmeat shirt on my back.

So, only a good ninety minutes afterwards, we returned to the convention center, victories warriors. Bottom line is that Jerome of the Atlanta Home Depot went above and beyond, Home Depot should start carrying this plastic wrap for sale for easily, and Tim, the manager of said Home Depot, recognizes customer gold mines when he see's it.

That, and Rob knows how to wheedle people. Congrats to him...