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Of course it's true!

And forget mere bacterial fossils.

Why -- an entire fat lady has been found on Mars.

One hopes for that sake of the distant restaurant that they are not subjected to the same sorts of junk food law suits that earthly fast food restaurants are... and remember, now, everyone, for the sake of your health -- lay off the relativistic doughnuts .

Hah! It may have been a hardware problem, but the "bug" involved was... yes, it's absolutely true... a Martian relieving itself on one of the Spirit motherboards: reported here. Instead of gee-whiz technology, what they really need is anti-whiz -- or maybe just some kitty litter.

Yeah. Great. All this to discover empty cigarette packs and used condoms. My grandmother'd be appalled. Not because she never screwed, of course -- she just really hates smoking.

Patents, patents, patents. By now it's surprising someone hasn't patented the warts on my ass. What's the next patent war? Will Dell and Compaq fight it out over building Pez Dispensers into their boxes?

The National Rifle Association is behind the push for manned space exploration. They've found wildlife in space no one has shot at yet... Life Found on Saturn ... and are already lobbying congress for unrestricted hunting rights.

Audiophiles? Such silliness! Of course not. That's one a them there extraterrestrials that have sex with our wimmins to cure their acne. You know, like GUBOSH RAH guy. They only do it in Arkansas trailer parks, though, which is why they're called extremophiles.

That may not be far from the truth... lol. At least Some People seem to think that the Spirit rover discovered artifacts from a long-ago Mars disaster... and (if you don't laugh too, too hard) the images they enlarged from the Spirit pictures might almost make the case.

That may not be far from the truth... lol. At least Some People seem to think that the Spirit rover discovered artifacts from a long-ago Mars disaster... and (if you don't laugh too, too hard) the images they enlarged from the Spirit pictures might almost make the case.