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1) The patent is novel. I mean, who the fuck would've thought of this before?

Wrong

It's a good thing they're new

I'm amazed anyone would put so much time and effort into making a webpage about bent bicycle cranks.

Here's a link to the patent: http://pardo.net/bike/pic/mobi/d.pmp-cranks/US5899119

Except that this has been done before. From TFS: http://pardo.net/bike/pic/mobi/d.pmp-cranks/

Well hey, 1) The patent is novel. I mean, who the fuck would've thought of this before?

A bunch of people. So, not so novel.

I see a way that could make the crank behave differently compared to the classic crank: if the metal has a bit of elasticity, thanks to the z shape some force could be stored within the "spring" (crank angle) during the top-bottom push move and released at the bottom just before the other foot takes over the push.

You would think, but read this about the Interdrive crank that uses actual springs to see an explanation of why this logic doesn't work: "for energy stored in the springs, you wind up doing the work twice: once to compress the spring, then again later while you fight against the spring as it expands." I imagine material compression would similar issues.

1) The patent is novel. I mean, who the fuck would've thought of this before?

I'm not sure

New bad ideas can be patented. It isn't supposed to be possible to patent old bad ideas. The problem, is that old bad ideas are often badly documented, because they are bad ideas. If the patent examiner doesn't find the prior art in the limited time available, then the examiner is likely to grant the patent.

It's a good thing they're new