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No you don't, you want one of these: http://www.wymsey.co.uk/wymchron/retro.htm

I don't know... according to this post directing us to this article you can cook eggs with cell phones. Now where'd I put my foil hat...

cell phones can now cook eggs....... No - Realy

Remember this?
"Many students, and other young people, have little in the way of cooking skills but can usually get their hands on a couple of mobile phones. So, this week, we show you how to use two mobile phones to cook an egg which will make a change from phoning out for a pizza. Please note that this will not work with cordless phones."n

http://www.wymsey.co.uk/wymchron/cooking.htm

I suppose cooking a human face is similar enough.

Cell Phones & microwave ovens have me more worried than WiFi.
Think a comparison between your phone & the oven is 'off base'?
Then read this "Weekend Eating: Mobile Cooking" http://www.wymsey.co.uk/wymchron/cooking.htm & go camping with a friend!

Take, for instance, your average microwave which can cook an egg in about two minutes. It has a magnetron that operates at roughly 2.5 GHz, at 700+ watts inside of a reflective faraday cage. While the egg is inside of the microwave, the radio waves emitted by the magnetron cause the water molecules inside to change orientation in sync with the polarity of the wave passing through them. This vibration results in friction, which creates heat, and in turn cooks the egg (or whatever other food is inside of the microwave). This affect is amplified by the fact that the microwaves are contained inside of a metal chamber which prevents them from escaping and helps to redirect them into the food.

Though some cell phones operate within the same frequency range of microwave ovens, they have a maximum (regulated by law) output of 6 Watts. This wattage, combined with the fact that the output is not contained within a localized area, means that the microwaves emitted by the cell phones would have a hard time even penetrating the shell of the egg, let alone cooking anything.

Furthermore, it is important to note that cell phones do not communicate directly with one another. When a call is made, the caller's phone signals the tower which contacts the second phone. All communication between the two phones is done through the tower. The two phones communicating between one another is made irrelevant by this.

Lastly, the if one explores the source site (Wymsey Village Web) for this page has the motto of "on the nick of the cutting edge of rural parody" and bills itself as a humor site. Taking stories from a site such as this would be just as foolish those things written on sites such as Something Awful, the onion, or Pointless Waste of Time. This only shows that one must always question the validity of ones sources, no matter how enticing or appealing their content may be.

It is somewhat disheartening to me that this would be covered on slashdot as factual information. I am bothered even more, however, by the fact that so many of my peers have readily accepted this as a fact even though it has an obvious air of incredulity.

Check out their "retro kitchen"... http://www.wymsey.co.uk/wymchron/retro.htm. I mean, who uses Windows 98 these days anyway?

This has been widely discussed online and it is a pure hoax. The wymsey site also has such highly factual articles as hunting the wily tofu. Obligatory dig at slashdot editors elided for space.