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ABC Ads Target Answering Machines?
Nerftoe writes "ZDTV an article about
automated phone calls to promote its Friday lineup of shows. The odd thing is, ABC doesn't want to talk to humans. They just want to leave their message on your answering machine. What if I real person answers the phone, you ask? That's right, the automated system simply hangs up." I'm not in one of the markets that is doing this, but I have a personal policy of boycotting any business that tele-solicits me. (course the only show on ABC I actually watch is Who's Line is it Anyway, but since Comedy Central airs the much funnier sans-drew English version several times a day anyway, I don't consider that a huge loss either).
ABC Backs Away From Using Voice Mail to Promote Lineup
This is no longer the case. According to my New York Times on the 22nd, "ABC has backed away from a controversial plan to use sitcom stars like Norm MacDonald to promote its fall lineup by leaving taped messages on the home answering machines of viewers." I'm sure there's a copy available on the online NY Times archive, for a fee. :P ABC was facing a tremendous backlash, and changed their minds about this being a good idea. There may still be references available at the New York Times. The funniest promotional idea for ABC, however, can be found in the bathroom.
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I got a telemarketer in trouble for violating two rules:
Must be a human who makes the call, and only switches to a recording when the recipient agrees to listen to it. This guy had a war dialer.
Must disconnect when the recipient disconnects. This is to allow someone to hang up and call 911 if necessary. This idiot's machine kept the line tied up for several minutes.
To make it short, I left my name and asked for a callback, then had a zillion reasons for being busy, until he finally gave me his number. Then a quick call to Pac Bell, who refused to do anything, and a call to the state PUC, who straightened them out.
--
Infuriate left and right
I have only a mobile phone anymore, so I no
longer get to do this, but, back in the day,
when I'd get a telemarketer calling, I'd
SIMPLY INITIATE PHONE SEX!!!
Ask the telemarketer what they're wearing.
Ask them to take it off very slowly...
etc...
Funny as hell!
That's why they're hanging up when a human answers the phone!
It's illegal to have a machine dial up and play a recorded spiel. It's easy to prove it if you live in a state that allows a single party to tape a phone call with or without the consent of the other party. A taped call with a spiel that drones on and on despite repeated queries of "Hello? Are you a human or a recording?" is pretty damning evidence that it's a robo-dialer.
But it's much harder to prove that the message on your answering machine was generated by a machine. Telemarketers can, have, and will continue to, perjure themselves on the stand by saying "Yes, that message was left by a live human", thereby turning the burden of proof on the person charging them under the TCPA.
Yet more reason why the entire industry should be outlawed.
In some states, it's illegal for telemarketers to simply drop the line after someone picks up. After all, it can be quite threatening for someone's phone to ring and then to suddenly drop the connection. For all you know, it might be someone checking to see if you're in before deciding to break into your house.....
HELLO?
(Pause)
HANG ON A SECOND...
(Sound of stomping across the floor. Music stops. Sound of stomping across the floor.)
Hello?
(Pause)
Oh... Well he's not here, and I'm just a machine, so you probably should leave a message. (BEEP)
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
I'm sure we'd all love the home phone number of the jag-off at ABC who dreamt this wonderful scheme up. Really, any high level executive's phone number will do. When's the last time someone like this got their telephone slashdotted?
alan.cohen@abc.com already confirmed that they are *NOT* doing this.
You see, prerecorded calls are *ILLEGAL*, in general, under the TCPA. The prospect of $500 minimum statutory damages *PER PERSON* probably stopped them.
Anyway, this is old news, it went through the TCPA lists a few days ago, and it's already dead.
My blog: http://www.seebs.net/log/ --- My iPhone/iPad app: http://www.seebs.net/seebsfrac/
Just a theory, but playing data CD's through speakers can blow them out. Why not hook up your old walkman with a 100 Free Hours On AOL! cd to a big red button on your phone that turns off your receiver (to avoid damaging it), then starts to play the cd? Should fry the telescum's (usually non-cheap) equipment, yes?
Ah, just a thought. At least until I get some schematics.
--
Does narcissism count as a hobby? --Shawn Latimer
It was because of telemarketers that I got a call privacy package added to my phone service. Although I hate giving more money to the telco, it's preferable to dealing with those other wankers.
For those who don't know about or have access to call privacy, it does the following: for all anonymous or blocked calls, the caller is intercepted and forced to say their name (or my name as some of my friends at the office would do!). When I pick up the phone I get to hear the message and either refuse it, answer it, or send it to voice mail. For my friends with cell phones, or co-workers, who don't show up on my caller ID display, I've told them a simple code to bypass the system so that they don't hang around.
Most recently, MCI called trying to sell me long distance. I acted amazed at hearing another human voice, and revealed that I had been 'hiding in my Y2K bunker for the last 7 months!' My roommate even got in on it and began shouting in the background about 'cracking open the airlock'. It was a riot!
Other ideas I have tried:
1. If they are trying to sell you a newspaper or magazine, insist that you are psychic and do not need their product, then become disgusted by what they are thinking at that moment.
2. Act like you are in the midst of hostage negotiations. Play the cop side of the conversation. "So if I agree to subscribe to that magazine, will you release some of the hostages?"
3. In an agitated and paranoid voice, ask them how they got the number. Insist that they are lying and are really 'part of the conspiracy' or 'one of them'. There are endless possibilities with this one.
There are also some really great things you can do with a prepared tape of sound effects.
Have fun!
Thad
The Bolachek Journals
The ABC Friday lineup simply SUCKS. They have nothing good (in the way of post-adolescent) programming on Friday nights. I guess they are hoping that someone is going to listen to their answering machine and somehow come away saying "...must ... watch ... Sabrina the Teenage Witch..." or "Gee, let me listen to that most annoying theme song to 'Boy Meets World' JUST ONE MORE TIME!"
Give it up ABC. Why not take friday nights and put on back to back episodes of the Drew Carey Show and Who's Line is it Anyway? like you did all week long during the last few months?
Or howabout a new "reality television" show called "Who Wants to be a Pauper?" where we watch failed contestants from "Who Wants to be a Millionare" try to survive among the nations homeless eating rats and fishing street drains for cigarette butts? (Each week one of the contestants would be voted out and forced to play "Big Brother" - a fate worse than "MTV's Real World". The final contestant gets a chance to slap Regis and choke him with his monocrome tie.
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Here's your answer from the relevant US laws:
From Subpart L - Restrictions on Telephone Solicitation
a.2.Initiate any telephone call to any residential telephone line using an artificial or prerecorded voice to deliver a message without the prior express consent of the called party, unless the call is initiated for emergency purposes or is exempted by sec. 64.1200(c)
section c says this:
c.The term "telephone call" in sec. 64.1200(a)(2) shall not include a call or message by, or on behalf of, a caller:
1.that is not made for a commercial purpose,
2.that is made for a commercial purpose but does not include the transmission of any unsolicited advertisement,
3.to any person with whom the caller has an established business relationship at the time the call is made, or
4.which is a tax-exempt nonprofit organization.
So there you go! ABC is giving out $500 checks to everyone who is lucky enough to get a call! Make sure you save those answering machine tapes, boys and girls. The small claims court judge will want to listen to them. While you're at it, go over to www.junkbusters.com and print out a copy of the legislation for the judge. It should be a very easy case to win.
If tits were wings it'd be flying around.
With normal telemarketing calls, US law says that I can tell them to put me on their do-not-call list, and they have to pay a $500 penalty if they then do call me (assuming I'm willing to go to the hassle of taking them to small claims court).
With this, they hang up before I can ask to be put on that list. Does the law that requires them to honor such requests allow this?
And what about bans on computer calling? Or do they have a real human talk to the answering machine (talk about a boring job)?
According to the NYTimes, they killed this plan already: "ABC has backed away from a controversial plan to use sitcom stars like Norm MacDonald to promote its fall lineup by leaving taped messages on the home answering machines of viewers. The decision came after the network, known for aggressively seeking ... July 22, 2000, Saturday "
The answering machine is the big city where I live.. I get at least one call every day that is a hang up, and while I can't attribute all of those to this kind of marketing, I would venture to guess most of them are by the number of recorded solicitations that appear in my voicemail.
I recently bought an answering machine with 3 separate mailboxes.. You have to push *2 or *3 to leave a message in boxes 2 or 3, but if you don't press anything it defaults to box 1. My friends and family know to press the "secret code" so I can easily discern between messages I want to hear and messages I probably don't.
I toyed with the idea of charging for telephone solicitations, and even called a few companies back to get their mailing address so I could send them an invoice. Most of these were local businesses, horrified at the thought and instantly put me on their do-not-call list. I never followed through with the actual mailing of invoices, but no one called my bluff either.
of course, someone will post the obligatory link to junkbusters' telemarketing script, but that doesn't really help with these machine calls, so i won't bother.
wishus
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The details are:
(d) Required oral disclosures. It is an abusive telemarketing act or practice and a violation of this Rule for a telemarketer in an outbound telephone call to fail to disclose promptly and in a clear and conspicuous manner to the person receiving the call, the following information: (1) The identity of the seller; ...
Since the ABC telemarketing device (and I believe advertizing television shows still falls under telemarketing acts) will purposily fail to identify itself, I believe this is an attempt on ABC to intentionally conduct an "abusive telemarketing practice."