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Full Frontal Quickies

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the SELECT-*-FROM-quickies-WHERE-humor-<-0; dept.

Lady and Gentlemen, sit back and brace yourself for the assault of the quickies: AlexPixel sent us the curiously named Bilbo.com which actually sells feet keyboards for key modifiers and mouse clicks. cadfael sent us a sordid tale of a coder scorned. Some billboards: first from Ant we have a windows error and from mazur we have a bit of unix (must be california ;) mmca noted that scientists have discovered why candy wrappers are loudest in movie theaters. IcesTorm-I noted a supposed windows bug that will make ya wonder. DuncMonk sent us a cool comic strip called Sinfest that you might wish to add to your morning coffee. How about the x86 Still for those of you who believe that controlling your stereo, lights, garage door, and neighbors dog just isn't enough for your PC. Not out there enough for ya? How about RSA implemented entirely in javascript? (Doesn't work for me ... I leave that crap turned off ;) And finally to leave everyone on the proper melodic note, gribbly Symphony #2 for Dot Matrix Printers. Fortunately it's available in MP3 just in case you don't have a dot-matrix printer still handy...

9 of 166 comments (clear)

  1. Okay, now I have a project... by baka_boy · · Score: 5

    That shot of the crashed video board has inspired me. Those damn things are like animated GIF's on the highways, and I've been looking for some way to mess with them without being totally destructive and getting my ass thrown in jail.

    It's all so simple...I just need to get a copy of BackOrifice installed on it, and put up my own subversive messages. Subtly, of course...I was thinking of something along the lines of:

    "News Flash: Animated billboards reported as #3 cause of fatal car crashes, following drunk driving and cell phones!"

    Okay, maybe not, but I still hate them.

  2. Translation of the Unix billboard? by torpor · · Score: 5

    From what I can tell, the translation of the Unix billboard (which isn't an error - it looks like Dutch unix) is something along the lines of:


    For anyone who has listed in their CV (resume) that their work is their hobby and they are creative or innovative, send them an email with the subject set to "Your place is in Hilversum" (?), and tell 'em to go check out the URL: http://www.omroep.nl/gurus/


    Not sure about the subject line, but that's a pretty darn nifty advertisement, for damned sure. I'd send 'em my resume...

    --
    ; -- the corruption of government starts with its secrets. a truly free people keep no secrets. --
  3. Candy wrapper article cached by / · · Score: 4

    Cached: here. I could've sworn that story was from months ago, and it was (June 2).

    --
    "If one is really a superior person, the fact is likely to leak out without too much assistance" -- John Andrew Holmes
  4. Re:Symphony (not the only old thing) by Kris_J · · Score: 4
    The foot-pedals thing is ancient. I found out about it from a /. comment, ordered one, had it shipped to Australia, used it for a few months, decided it wasn't particularly useful and on-sold it to a friend about a year ago (he thinks it's great).

    The musical error was linked to in a comment attached to a set of quickies maybe a month ago (I posted it to my journal, so I can get an exact date)

    Quickies? More like Oldies. The very best /. from 6 months, 12 months and 2 years ago...

  5. So for Windows errors we have... by dark_panda · · Score: 4
    ... unintelligible blue screens of death that tell us lots of useless numbers and memory addresses but nothing of any use, and midi that plays randomly.

    How difficult is it to bring up a window that says, "Excel crashed, your work is gone, loser."

    Instead I get a midi of 'Start Me Up' and some memory addresses. Killer!

    For your pleasure and off-topic fun, a handy lexicon of Microsoft PR translations:

    • Loads applications 50% faster! -- experience crashes 50% faster
    • Multitasking! -- crashes multiple programs at once
    • Backwardly compatible! -- will also crash your existing software
    • Network ready! -- crashes multiple systems at once
    • Multimedia ready! -- experience the astonishing sights and sounds of crashing in vivid VGA color
    • Free MSN subscription! -- go online and talk to other Windows users about their crashing experiences
    • Mac-like interface! -- 11 years of development and it's not even original
    • User friendly! -- pictures of clouds
    J
    1. Re:So for Windows errors we have... by Th3+D0t · · Score: 4
      Did you follow the link? It's not even a windows error. It is a BIOS indication that the CPU fan is failing or that the power supply voltage has exceeded tolerances. Microsoft was probably bothered about it, though, so they threw it in their tech support database.

      And, it's not MIDI, it's the PC speaker.

      Now, this bug is funny.
      ---

      --
      I am the dot in slashdot.org
  6. more about the UNIX billboard by Pflipp · · Score: 5

    It's not California at all, mister! It is Holland. Some folks at our national television try to attract some IT'ers.

    The bills were all around the place some time ago. I liked them.

    www.omroep.nl is the united website of national broadcasters. And Hilversum is the place where they make TV in holland (like Hollywood, only VERY different :-) Besides, it's TV, not film)

    It's... It's...

    --
    "We can confirm that Debian does *not* ship the version with the trojan horse. Our version predates it." [CA-2002-28]
  7. Um, dept should have told us something. by Penrif · · Score: 4

    from the SELECT-*-FROM-quickies-WHERE-humor-&lt-0; dept.

    Well heck, if you're selecting the quickies with humor less than zero, they're bound to suck. I'd check the SQL server though, some of those were mildy funny.

  8. The windows KB article by Russ+Steffen · · Score: 5

    That Windows problem is interesting and all, but it pales in comparison to this gem. I almost feel sorry for the person who had to write that.