Slashdot Mirror
Do-It-Yourself "Dungeons and Dragons" Film Review
"I honestly think that this is a disgrace to everything I had hoped it would be. The plot line was thin at best, the acting was horrible, the lines sounded like they were being read from cards during some scenes. The movie stole so many parts from Star Wars that I'm sure George Lucas is going to be trembling and crying if he sees the movie. All of them too, not just one of the Star Wars movies but all four. A slew of other movies were taken from as well to try to make some semblance of a plot, Indiana Jones, there was a Jurrasic Park scene, we even found a way to bring in Goonies. I was pretty suprised that Ewoks didn't jump out of the background in parts.
I guess I was hoping for more from the movie. I don't think many people are going to be happy with it, the dragon scenes were about the best parts, and those seemed way too short, considering that the rest of the acting didn't do much for the plot anyway. Why not throw in some more eye candy? At any rate the dragons were really neat, but a lot of the other CG was pretty poor. And no amount of special effects were going to make up for the poor acting, plot, and obvious rip offs of other movies."
"This film's only hope is to reach an audience too young to recognize its blatant rip-offs." -- E! ONLINE
"Dungeons and Dragons is the fantasy genre at its worst and will likely disgruntle even the most die-hard role-playing wonks." -- Rob Blackwelder, SPLICED ONLINE
"Gamer geeks, I speak your language! And I warn you: Flee!" -- Cody Clark, MR. SHOWBIZ
"As inept as his direction is, Solomon's script is worse, an awful screenplay that shamelessly swipes some of its characters and scenes from the Star Wars movies without as much as a simple acknowledgment." -- Jeff Vice, DESERET NEWS
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..And the Church isn't? Pretty much everything you are claiming D&D will do to impressionable young minds the Knights Templar did in the name of the Christ. Not to mention the horrors visited upon every pagan in the old and new world in the name of Christianity. Rape, torture, burning, mutilation...great examples. Betcha more horrors have been committed in the name of God than D&D.
Thanks but no thanks. The guys I played D&D with are all decent, hardworking citizens who are productive members of society. Haven't yet met a truly tolerant Christian. ( Not that there aren't any, just never met one..) Mention homosexuality or wiccan and they rush to find the sections of the bible to support their bigotry and self-righteousness. Nevermind the sections that talk about tolerance, love for one another... that doesn't matter... IIRC it was religious nuts that stood outside the funeral of the Matthew Shepard who was beaten to death and hung on a fence in Montana by homophobes, not D&D players. "Christians" chanted and demonstrating that he deserved what he got and telling his parents that the boy was burning in hell... riiiight. And you claim D&D promotes unhealthy attitudes...
Color me a D&D player of old, and a Freethinker. Keep your organized religion. I'd much rather my son and daughter play D&D than absorb the values taught by your religion...
3C
> Dungeons & Dragons is a wholly evil, demonic, and dangerous game that corrupts the minds of our nation's youth.
Au contraire, I think D&D is a nice, safe way for young children to learn to handle magical weapons and dangerous spells before they grow up and get their hands on the real things.
Responsible behavior is the result of a socialization process.
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Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
Now here's the thing - all the posts I read make some comment along the line of "I could've written a better script". Well then, why are there so few decent fantasy movies out there? Every fantasy nut (I'm one myself) seems to think that every fantasy that comes out is nearly garbage, and that it would be terribly easy to make a better film. Will somebody please do it then? The guy who directed this got it made out of sheer will (first time director - just pushed until he got the deal). I wish to god that some of these genius scriptwriters/directors at Slashdot would put the effort in - half so that there would be a better film, and half so that they would shut up for a while.
I'm an amateur filmaker myself (Vendetta: A Christmas Story). No matter how much I suck, at least I'm doing something.
I would guess that it is because in their daily life, the computer nerd is very logical, indeed Spock like, and generally fits the INTP Myers Brigg personality profile (INTP = Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving). They also find it difficult to relate socially with other people, and indeed resort to usenet, IRC, weblogs etc such is their secret hunger for socialisation.
I think that fantasy allows an escape from these logical and social bindings. The computer nerds are free at last to let their imaginations soar upwards to the high plains of fantasy, and the roleplaying elements of D&D allow for socilisation as well.
Indeed, it has been known for some to become so entranced and invloved that they refuse to come out of it, which can become unhealthy. I have personally known two such people, and one of them had to be treated by a psychiatrist.
Still, in moderate amounts, I think that fantasy, D&D, and the like are very healthy pursuits for a nerd, and may give hime confidence in the wider world. As long as he is old enough to deal with the reality confusion that in depth play can sometimes engender, I have no problem with it.
KTB:Lover, Poet, Artiste, Aesthete, Programmer.
KTB:Lover, Poet, Artiste, Aesthete, Programmer.
There is no
Imagine how aweful a movie that tried to take itself more seriously would have been. It would almost certainly not have satisfied the self-declared "purists", and would have been even less understandable to the rest of the audience.
I think you should save your dissatisfaction for "Lord of the Rings", which is actual a wonderful story, and will undoubtedly be ugly and mangled beyond recognition in its film rendition.
Tomb Raider is in production. That could be the next Indiana Jones franchise, but probably not.
Comic books do better, probably because they have plot and character development. Superman, Batman, and X-men have all been made into successful movies. Games don't have enough literary depth to carry over into film.
I know this sounds cruel or pompous, but there are geeks who are so far from "getting it" - who will never understand why we could tell a movie like this was a stinker from a thousand miles away - just as there as some people who are so clueless about technology that it's almost pointless to try to explain it to them. Which is fine - we all have our blind spots - until they try to engage you on those topics. Having a discussion with a stereotypically 'unlettered' geek about film or books or art is as frustrating as having a conversation with a suit or your grandma* about technology. And like the luddite who brags about being clueless about computers, it's also sort of sad to see geeks brag about being clueless about art, literature, and film outside of science fiction.
*Please, no anecdotes about your asm-coding circuit-soldering grandmas. You know what I'm talking about.
It has to do with the same thing that further relates all of the above with music as well. I think if you were to do an indepth study of "nerds", you'd find a very large proportion who not only appreciate Sci-Fi and Fantasy works, but are also musically inclined - or artistically inclined via another medium.
What is this "thing" I speak of? It's called imagination. One cannot be creative if one cannot imagine the solution to a computing problem/compelling work of fiction/cutting edge song/fascinating painting/etc.
The fact is, all computer geeks are creative individuals - they have to be or they cannot possibly understand the complexities of modern computing environments. It is a strong imagination that fuels this creativity, and that lends itself perfectly to the appreciation of all things creative. Sci-Fi and Fantasy arts tend to push the edge of the imaginary possibilities, and are thus favored by those with the strongest sense of imagination.
I AM, therefore I THINK!
We all know that Mr. Irons is a great actor. I personally thought that Thora Birch was good in American Beauty. So why is the acting in this so bad? The director didn't have a clue.
Some of the stinkyness of this movie can be blamed on the studio for not supplying a good mentor for the first time director. I think they did a good job for the small budget and lack of directing experience. But it is still a stinker of a movie.
This is not the sig you are looking for...
humor for the clinically insane
great comedy company.
There's just something incredibly funny about a buff bald guy with blue lipstic saying, "Give me the rod"
OK, first the bad parts.
- piecemeal character development
Did the dwarf even have a name? D&D the game (not that I play it) is all about character development, and the movie lacked it sorely. Of course, the main few characters were explored decently, but at the expense of everyone else, apparently. (also made many individual scenes highly predictable)
- cheesy RPG style plot
The Empire is in danger. To save it, an unlikely assortment of characters band together. They need to find a magical artifact. To get that one they need ANOTHER one. Swashbuckling along the way. Yadda yadda, blah blah. Good guys win.
- a Wayans brother
'nuff said.
But now to the upsides...
- effects used tastefully
In recent years there's been a glut of eye-candy movies, that have no draw besides the special effects. This was not one of them. Effects were used sparingly and appropriately, and the integration of computer animation with live action was nearly seamless.
- decent acting
Snails was rather annoying, but I suppose in some sort of good way. Damadar was highly convincing. And the "not all mages are evil!" scene, though extremely cheesy, demonstrated that some actors can actually ACT like REAL PEOPLE in a movie.
- Tom Baker
Did anyone else catch that the healing elf was frickin Tom Baker? w00t!
- it was entertaining
In the end, does anything else really matter, so long as the movie was entertaining? The guy quoted in the official post must have really high movie standards if he thinks he could have spent 2 hours and $0 just sooooo much better in some other way. I paid not only for myself but for my girlfriend and I feel fairly satisfied.
MoNsTeR