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How The Grinch Captured The Flag
Deathlizard writes: "Sure. You heard about the Grinch Stealing Christmas, but you probably never heard about the Other Thing he Stole." This is very wrong.
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'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the LAN
Not a gamer was playing, 'cept the dude with the van.
The cables were hung by the server with care,
In the hopes that by morning the hubs would be there.
Want more? =) Check it out at 3D Action Planet!
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CitizenC
'Twas The Night Before Christmas
'Twas the Night Before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring except my Microsoft Intellimouse©.
My emails were addressed in the outbox with care,
In the hopes that a crash wouldn't dissipate them into virtual air.
My eyes were weary all bloodshot and red,
As visions of gigahertz ran through my head.
Armed with caffeine in the chair where I sat
I had just settled down for a long IM chat.
When out from my hardrive there arose such a clatter
That I wondered aloud what the hell was the matter.
I rebooted windows as quick as a flash,
Ran Scandisk and Defrag and emptied my trash.
The light of my monitor on the CD's below
Turned my room into a damn disco hall with walls all aglow.
When what to my wandering eyes should arise,
But a funny looking man with shrewd little eyes.
With an eight dollar haircut as the most marked of his traits,
I knew in a moment it must be Bill Gates.
More rapid than broadband his bugs they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.
Now stack faults! Now, page faults! Now, memory leaks and bloated code!
On security holes! On, viruses! On, worms and excess processor load!
To the heart of his system you must corrupt and maul!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!
As unprocessed instructions in the systems queue,
Are sent to the CPU for further review,
So to the heart of my system went the bugs from hell
With bags full of tainted cash and Mr. Gates as well.
And as my computer began to slowly corrode,
I cursed aloud at his malignant code.
While I continued my tantrum and was turning about,
From the monitor came Gates with a high pitched shout.
He was dressed all in money from his head to his toes,
And this suit was all tarnished from a recent battle with David Boies.
A bag of buggy software he had flung on his back,
And his resemblance to Quasimodo nearly gave me a heart attack.
His eyes how they squinted! his business practices how scary!
His cheeks were so pale, his nose rather hairy!
From his thin little mouth came hardly a sound,
And no trace of facial hair could ever be found.
The software industry he held tight in his teeth,
And a group of dirty politicians circled him like a wreath.
He had a monopoly and billions in wealth,
And much to everyone's dismay he also had his health.
He was skinny and wispy, a right pathetic looking nerd,
And I laughed when I saw him just to spite the bastard.
A twitch of his eye and his software overpriced
Soon led me to believe this man was the anti-Christ.
Too busy to talk he said as he began to work,
He promptly formatted my hardrive and called me a jerk.
Then sticking his middle finger in front of my face,
He promptly disappeared back into cyberspace.
He gathered his bugs and his money as well
Descending I assume, to rule over hell.
But I heard him squeak as he slipped out of site,
Merry Christmas to all and to all a corrupt byte!
From Merriam-Websters Collegiate: /'n&r-dish/ adjective
/-dE/ adjective
Main Entry: nerd
Pronunciation: 'n&rd
Function: noun
Etymology: perhaps from nerd, a creature in the children's book If I Ran the Zoo (1950) by Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel)
Date: 1951
: an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person; especially : one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits
- nerdish
- nerdy
The first occurance of the word "nerd" is in the writings of Dr. Seuss. News for "nerds" wouldn't be possible with out him!