Where Is My Heavy-Duty Mouse?

jmaslak expresses himself thusly: "I'm in the market for yet another new mouse. My average mouse-span is three months. Once in a while, I can stretch it to four, but sometimes the darn things die after only one month. I've tried cheap mice and expensive mice. Microsoft makes a decent mouse, as it usually lasts four. But I hate spending $50 every 4 months!" (Read more for the details of jmaslak's quest.)

"The failure modes vary about 50/50: rollers just get too worn out to roll right (not dirty, though -- I clean the mouse often) or the cable between the mouse and the computer goes bad. I'd love a wireless optical mouse, but I can't seem to find anyone that makes one. I'd gladly spend $100 on a mouse if it would last more than 6 months.

I don't want a trackball or any other non-traditional mouse. Ergonomics don't matter. The wheel is helpful, but I'd do without the wheel as long as the mouse had three buttons (I run Unix).

Does anyone make a mouse that will stand up to the torture? Am I going to have to start manufacturing mice for people like myself?"

The best "mouse" I've found is a Logitech optical trackball using 3-buttom emulation, but not everyone likes those. So where is the mythical perfect mouse hiding? The sought-after wireless optical mouse really would be nice.

Comments

Bill Cosby

[babbage]

...I think he's the one that told the joke I'm thinking of here:

A little kid walks into a pet store saying "hey, I just bought this stupid turtle [mouse, whatever :)] and the stupid thing won't come out of it's shell. What's the deal?"

The clerk politely informs the little brat that this is normal, because turtles are shy animals and are naturally reluctant to come out whenever big, scary humans are around. Nonetheless, to make the little bastard feel better, the clerk agrees to let the boy exchange his turtle for another one, and the happy little monster runs gleefully out of the store.

An hour later, however, the boy comes back with the same complaint. The clerk is a little bit surprised by this -- but no matter, he gives the boy another turtle and off he goes, with a warning about trying to be nicer to this turtle.

The third time the boy walks in, however, the clerk is really annoyed. "Look, what are you doing to these turtles that makes them so afraid to come out of their shells?" "Nuthin," the boy insists, "just playin' with it." "Show me how," the clerk demands. The boy gets down on his hands & knees and, scraping the turtle rapidly back & forth starts yelling BROOOOM! BROOOOOOM! RACECAR!"

Har har har. The punchline is of course a bit easier to deliver out loud rather than in print, but that's not the point.

The point is -- what the hell are you doing to these mice! I've had the same mouse on my PC since the day I got it, and the only reason I replaced the mouse on my Mac was because it drove me nuts to shuffle a hockey puck around the desk (that & the clear LCD mouse just seemed really cool... :).

What could you possibly be doing that wears out a mouse after only a couple of months? You say you clean it regularly -- with what, a good hard scrub with a steel wool pad followed up by a sulfuric acid bath? It's inconceivable to me that anyone could be destroying their equipment so quickly. <parent>Don't you realize that this stuff is delicate & expensive equipment? What's wrong with you?</parent>

My suggestion to you would be to look into whatever mice Fisher-Price might be offering these days. With any luck they'll have a nice durable hard-shell plastic model (in shiny red, yellow & blue) that you can chew on all day without breaking. If they're not in the PC market -- and I really don't know if they are or not (though I doubt it) -- then you're pretty much out of luck. All I can say in that case is you really need to learn to take care of this stuff better. Sheesh...

What the heck!!!!

[cavemanf16]

Here are my theories as to why you're mice are all going bad so fast:

1. In a fit of rage over being killed for the umpteenth time in Quake3 with no frags to your credit, you grab the cord, begin whirling the mouse over your head and in a loud Confederate rebel yell, launch it out the window, thereby causing cord and/or general mouse failure.
2. Licking the mouse ball is not considered 'cleaning it', especially while sucking on a lollipop.
3. Soaking the mouse in bleach, is also, not 'cleaning it'.
4. Do not use the mouse to 'pretend you're shaving'. You'll pick up lots of facial hair and grease (and possibly some zit puss) which isn't good for it.
5. Do not operate the mouse while your computer is in your sandbox.
6. Lastly, Do not chew on happy mouse ball, do not look at happy mouse ball, and do not taunt happy mouse ball.