Slashdot Mirror
Pi Day, VoiceXML And Albert Einstein
Eve Andersson writes: "Happy Pi Day to all. Out here in Boston, ArsDigitans are celebrating in
style with what is believed to be the longest Pi bead chain in the world -- 5000 digits, all strung by hand by people passionate about Pi. On a seemingly unrelated note, I've recently published an
ArsDigita Systems Journal article on VoiceXML: letting people talk to your HTTP server through the telephone.
In addition to a tutorial and reusable source code, you'll find a
Pi Reciter that you can access through the telephone. Just in time for Pi Day!" Reader Gyrate pipes in as well with the thought that "some people might be interested in knowing that today is Albert Einstein's birthday."
There was a young man from Trisk, whose lovemaking was unusually brisk. So quick was his action, that Lorentz contraction shortened his willy to a disk.
(this isn't mine, I read it online, but thought it very fitting today. Enjoy.)
.. remember, that, friends? They put up all of those speed limit signs with metric measurements on them (kilowatt-hours? hectares? who knows!) Of course, God's good Christians responded warmly by shooting them down. Therefore, I am glad to report that the Metric system has not caught on in decent society, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
He made the Sea of cast metal, circular in shape, measuring ten cubits from rim to rim and five cubits high. It took a line ofthirty cubits to measure around it. -- 1 Kings 7:23
Friends, I'd like to take a moment or two to discuss with you the biggest whopper in the whole liberal lie of mathematics. The liberals like to tell us that pi is what they call a "transcendental number." This is, of course, shameless liberal jargon that has no meaning whatsoever. They are teaching our children that pi goes on and on forever without repeating itself, and that it is not representable by any polynomial with integer coefficients. This, my friends, represents only the latest in a long string of liberal lies meant to undermine God and his Creation.
The true value of pi is exactly three, as evidence by the Scripture quote above. It is universally agreed by all honest mathematicians that there is no evidence for a transcendental pi. Not one iota. Friends, you and I know that the Bible is the wholly inerrant word of God, and that the liberals are barking up the wrong tree. That doesn't stop them from spreading their socialist "transcendental number" propaganda. See, the liberals like stuff like this. They like anything that makes mankind think of itself as small and insignificant. This makes it easier for them to control the minds of our children. After all, why not listen to some liberal, if you are not capable of fully representing a single number?
This is an out-and-out lie.
The whole mathematical system has been invented by communists so that they can gain a foothold in decent society. Along with this comes the damnable "Metric" system, which was invented in the socialist Mecca of Europe. The liberals want us all to use this "Metric" system. They want to force us into conformity so that they can run our lives. They tried it once in the 1970s
Really, friends, the only unit of measure that we need is the cubit. This is a Biblical, Godly unit of measure that can be used for everything that the socialist Metric system is supposed to be used for. You can say "The Johnson baby was one tenth of a cubit long" or "It is 78.8 quintillion cubits to Alpha Centauri" (though the latter is a lie, of course; the stars are simply fixed points on a celestial sphere that lies somewhere beyond our planet Earth, which is the center of the Universe.) My swimming pool holds forty cubic cubits of water.
So let's fight the fight, friends. Let's fight transcendental numbers. Let's fight the Metric system. Let's wage a war against the liberals that intend to enslave our minds through obfuscated mathematics and anti-God systems of measurement. Write your congressman and school board and insist that they use books that teach that pi == 3 and transcendental numbers don't exist. We can do it, my friends. We can do it if we all stick together.
The Good Reverend
I'm different, just like everybody else.
learn pi with the patent-pending PI TRAINER(tm)
i was angry:1 with:2 my:4 friend - i told:3 4 wrath:5, 4 5 did end.
i was angry:1 with:2 my:4 friend - i told:3 4 wrath:5, 4 5 did end.
i was 1 2 4 foe i 3 it not 4 5 did grow
There was a young lady from Wight
Who could travel much faster than light
She departed one day
In a relative way
And arrived on the previous night.
We're going down, in a spiral to the ground
But what of the human cost? Think of the people who have been driven mad by Pi. Gaerdoluxa, and ancient Greek philosopher King, became entranced by the ratio, and committed suicide after unsuccesfully trying to square the circle for the 3141st time.
Hyppomineon, a Roman, did go on a killing rampage after he failed to convert Pi into Roman numerals.
I think the legacy of Pi is clear. Like many women, it hypnotises right thinking men, sucks them in and chews them up, before spitting out a wreck. Pi is a feminine number because it is like a cunt - it encloses and enfolds it's beholder, before destroying him.
I think our duty is clear. We must ban Pi completely, and declare that Pi=4. It is the only way to protect the innocent masses.
Think of the children. Think of the millions slaughtered by bombs whose trajectories were calculated using - yes - Pi.
All these lives could be saved. Lets abolish Pi today.
--
I just came up with a wicked idea, though hardly have the time to implement it.... Infocom text-based games through VoiceXML, would make the ride to work far less boring. can't see any reason why it wouldn't work, and actually should be fairly easy to do....
Walter H. Trent "Muad'Dib"
Padishah Emperor of the Known Universe, IMHO
Why not celebrate Pi approximation day instead? It's on an easier to remember day: 22/7.
The guy who runs that page, Martin Rebas, offers other number treats, including the -2 club for people who can't even remember 2 digits of pi.
Does my bum look big in this?
Dmoz has a bewildering array of links on the topic of Pi. If ever there was an argument for people having *way* too much free time on their hands, this is it.
--
Slashdot monitor for your Mozilla sidebar or Active Desktop.