The Worst That Can Happen, And Something Better

What's The Worst That Could Happen? Maybe shelling out nine bucks for this turkey of a movie. With Danny DeVito and Martin Lawrence, it had a good shot at being funny. It isn't. So I headed across the megaplex for Moulin Rouge, which is 90 percent computer animation, visually stunning and unique, and way over the top. You won't see a weirder movie than this one, at times brilliant and frustrating. Plots are discussed, but not endings. (Read more.)

In theory, Martin Lawrence (here playing good-hearted thief Kevin Caffery) should have made a great John Dortmunder, the sleazy but sweet hero of Donald Westlake's book, also played by Robert Redford in l972's Hot Rock, an earlier adaptation of the novel What's The Worst That Can Happen?.

Do not waste your money on this movie. Hardly a single thing about it works. It isn't funny. DeVito and Lawrence are wooden, predictable and uncomfortable together, and the supporting cast is better but strangely off kilter, with the notable exception of comedian Bernie Mac (Uncle Jack), who steals the movie, or what's left of it.

Westlake has always specialized in the petty, low-stakes sleaziness that ought to be perfect for DeVito and Lawrence. Lawrence plays an incompetent professional thief who becomes obsessed with a billionnaire, Max Fairbanks (DeVito). Fairbanks catches Caffery burglarizing his Massachusetts mansion, calls the cops and steals the thief's good luck ring, recently given him by the new love of his life (Carmen Ejogo playing Amber Bellhaven). The superstitious Fairbanks decides the ring is magical, and decides to keep it at all costs. Caffery initially wants the ring back because of Amber, but, like Fairbanks, ends up wanting it back mostly because he can't stand the thought of the other besting him. So the two set off robbing, pursuing and setting traps for one another as their lives spiral out of control.

Both major actors are playing to their specialty -- DeVito as the obnoxious, insecure, braying short guy proving that he's tough, Lawrence as the nicer but bungling protagonist. But what worked in Get Shorty or even, to some degree in Big Momma's House doesn't work here. Both actors seem to be phoning it in, perhaps repelled by this clunky script and overwhelmed by the funnier but bizarre supporting cast. Mac is great as Caffery's fence. The West Wing's sad-eyed Richard Schiff play's Max's eye-rolling lawyer, and William Fichtner does a funny but distracting turn as a wildly flamboyant Boston police detective.

On the other side of the cinematic spectrum is Moulin Rouge, from the people who brought you Romeo and Juliet. This is a feverish, psychedelic love/story musical set in Bohemian Paris and done almost entirely via spectacular computer animation, apart from the acting performances of Ewan MacGregor and Nicole Kidman (he's great, she's not). It's way too long, and completely unpredictable.

There would really be no point in describing the plot. The movie veers from loopy to moving to strikingly original to undisciplined -- definitely worth a look, though, especially if you want to keep up with animation.

Comments

Some professional quality Moulin Rouge reviews

[aiken_d]

Well, that was useless fluff, even by Katz's usual low standards. So here's where to find some more substantive info about what's good and bad in Moulin Rouge:

Harry at AICN waxes effusive and gushingly positive
Paul Clinton at CNN is somewhat more restrained, but still surprisingly positive considering his usual skepticism about flashy stuff
Rex Reed is absolutely not impressed, and strongly negative

I'm planning on catching the film, based on these reviews. Heck, even if it fails as art I'm willing to support it just because it's trying to do something different and exciting.

Cheers
-b