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The Reviewer Who Wasn't
An anonymous submitter sent in a pretty timely link as we enter the summer hype, er, summer movie season. Let the ticket-buyer beware...
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...whenever I see all these people here saying, "Download the Mozilla nightly builds! Best browser ever!"
This film is the biggest pile of trash I've ever witnessed. The plot was predictable, the acting was wooden and even the editing was weak. Five minutes into the movie, I was wishing the trailer was still running. In fact, I enjoyed the jingle about not smoking and throwing out your trash better!Everyone around me seemed to agree as there were wise-cracks and booing from most of the patrons in the theater. In fact, you can tell this film is bound to fail by the amount of talking and complaining before, during and after the show. The only positive thing they could talk about was the fact that Junior Mints were only $3.75 in the lobby. It's a real shame that the director has no concept of what a romantic comedy should be. Pairing up the oafish Sam Cheeselog with the shrill and grating Gretel Necessary would thrill no one, but then have them take a six day train ride across the Siberian tundra takes the cake for sheer ineptitude. In fact, you'll consider it a triumph if you make it through this 183 minute piece of trite crap without losing your lunch, spending half of the convulsively gagging, or losing faith that there is any goodness left in the human spirit. Whatever you do, don't go see this movie.
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
While I agree with your conlusion -- no one cares -- you picked some really crummy examples.
The FDA has very, very strict rules on what can go on the labels and packages of food, right down to minimum point sizes of fonts. To use your example, if the package says, "no artificial colors," then you can bet your career that it contains no artificial colors. (You can bet yours, because the entire upper and middle management of the food company has bet theirs by saying so.)
Another example: ever see a dessert marked as "no sugar added" and wonder why they don't save some ink and use "sugar free" instead? They don't have a choice. Many dairy products (yogurt, ice cream, ice milk (and there are rules on what must be called ice cream vs ice milk)) have the no sugar added mark because milk contains lactose, another natural form of sugar, which means that "sugar free" yogurt would be deceptive.
(I could go on for hours. You can learn an amazingly cool amount of stuff when your dad has a master's in food chemistry.)
Unfortunately, the watchdog organization for movie reviewers is a little more open to money-greasing than the FDA is.
You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem. (Edwards' Law)
So, Sony's a "Karma Whore" too?
COOL!
krystal_blade, going to invest in Sony because "They're Just Like ME!!"
screw Napster... I want BOOKSTER!!
It will be easy to motivate our fellow man; there is hardly anything people treasure more than not being annihilated.
And he is different from Joel Siegel et al. precisely how?
sulli
RTFJ.
Just when you thought MS and NBC could do a bad enough job of journalism on their own, now Newsweek is part of the mess? It boggles the mind.
Given how quickly all major news outlets are congealing into one corporate mouth piece, it's startling they let even this mildly anti-Hollywood article seep through the cracks. I like the central message though -- "The movie industry basically lies to you constantly, but tough, it's not like you can do anything about it. You'll watch what we tell you to watch, you mindless drones. Hahahahahaha."
Does this mean those constant Survivor stories on CBS "news" outlets, weren't just solid reporting on a popular social interest? CBS did those stories on iWon.com because it's a groovy site, not because they invested $50 million in it, right?
You can read science fiction books about people getting brain washed en masse, or you can flip on the television for the interactive version.
Wait. We're not a brain washed society. The Chinese are the brain washed ones. We're all about democracy and free speech. Sure, Napster tried to crush free speech by misuing "free use" copyright concepts, but that's been fixed now. The New York Times Company says this is a fair democratic land we live in, and that if it weren't for a couple stray politicians having sex and their underaged children drinking beer, everything would be just perfect. Whew! I was scaring myself there for a minute.
Anyway, I've gotta go. I'm late, and those "Knights Tale" tickets are selling out quickly for some reason.
... when the books about this time before the fall of the MPAA and the great studios are written, we'll be able to look at their back covers and reflect ...
.... I couldn't put it down!"
"An absolute must read!"
- Ridgefield Review of Books
"... engaging
- Edmonton Self-Examiner