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"Encounter 2001" To Send Human DNA To Space
Scoria writes: "CNN dot com reports that the Houston based company Encounter 2001 will ship a part of your DNA to space in 2003 for $50. They're apparently hoping that aliens will find the "message" that they send.
The ship will use solar sails the size of a football field as its primary accelerator and will take fifteen years to pass Pluto, at which point it will be travelling at 7.8 miles a second.
Pioneer 10, alternately, is currently moving at 7.605936 miles (12.24 km)/sec.
There are 4.5 million total slots, go make sure that there are in fact geeks in space!"
I can think a better use of $50 to insure that your genes get propagated. It's called asking out that cute girl in class, taking her to a fancy restaurant, then knocking her up.
I would consider it, but they should include copies of DMCA and UCITA, and shrink wrap the DNA. I wouldn't want some skanky alien bitch to reverse engineer me, and use me for her sex slave.
Simply follow these instructions: Duplicate the enclosed genetic material using a polymerase chain reaction. Incubate one copy of the resulting DNA of the PCR reaction for 10 seconds in a in an accelerated artificial womb set to a ratio of 2,371,680:1, then decant. Email the resulting organism (a "human") to the name at the top of the list attached below (using standard MIME matter encoding and transmission protocols.) Delete the email address at the top of the list, and add your own at the bottom. Send as many copies of this letter, along with copies of the PCR-duplicated DNA, to as many of your friends, znarmates, and for that matter complete strangers as you can. By the miracle of geometric progression, in no time at all THOUSANDS of "humans" will come your way. BUT: Don't break the chain! Fribnar-belzapsle of Barnard's Star II broke the chain, and was promptly diced by a malfunctioning frebble. Threequietchimes of Lalande 21185 IX broke the chain and was voted to be that week's consumption member of his local colony group. For that matter, brainnode 0x3f2b9877d of epsilon Eridani VI broke the chain, and their entire planet was promptly turned to grey goo by runaway nanomachines. But I followed the instructions, and in less than 30 kiloseconds I was the proud owner of over 300 extremely musical, fertilizer-producing, delectably-regurgitating young humans! So act now! Here is the list, make sure you add names:
belzar@massquan.com.wolf359
colonysegment-alpha -14@qwr.edu.ev-lacertae
napkinnumeratordrone376@w orkcubiclefarm452.biz.eta -cassiopeiae
snat@frelb.org.yzceti
439angstroms@ bluelight.com.rigel
duckmouthfence@picosquish.com .vega
ratpizzle@goatse.ax-microscopium
100101001 11101001@001110100102.1001.binar
powersthatbe@ove rusedsentientplanetformula.com.mcc affrey
The problem with this is that we are giving the evil aliens the blueprints of our species. There is the chance, however unlikely, that they might find a weakness... and exploit it.
They can't do that, it's illegal under the DMCA!
Opus: the Swiss army knife of audio codec
Having developed launch capabilities, the hairless water-ape now launches its spores into space. That completes the cycle of the amino acid based carbon chemistry life form. Be sure to tune in next millenium for another exciting edition of Mutual of Andromeda's Wild Universe.
For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?