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Signs of the Apocalypse
Recently we've had several sure signs that the Apocalypse is upon us. It's always a bit murky interpreting portents and omens, but I think these are clear indicators of impending doom. One, songs about instant messaging. Two, D'oh is now an official part of the English language. Three, square watermelon. I don't know how it could get any clearer than that: we're doomed.
Expression on your wife's face when she learns you payed 82 fu**ing dollars on a watermelon: Priceless
You know, I hope Apple doesn't sue these guys...
Isn't the anticipated switch to an "electricity for part of the day" third-world infrastructure (and the contention by the idea's promoters that this would be a good thing!), and the discovery of the populace there that they can vote themselves subsidized electricity out of the state budget, evidence enough?
Well, my neighbor's cat approached spherical, with no more apparent manipulation than overfeeding and its own laziness.
More of an oblate spheroid, of course, due to gravitational distortion.
Hi, friends:
To anyone that feel some love or respect for any kind (form) of life...
There is a japanese man living in New York that sell "BONSAI WATERMELONS". Look beautifull, isn't it???? But it is anything, less beautifull!
The guy put the watermelons in glass bottle, put a probe in their anus, that get out through a gap in the bottle to depense pee e faeces.
For the watermelons to take the bottle shape, they are feed with chemistry to melt the seeds, then he keeps the watermelons for the time that they can survive. They can't move, walk or clean up. This cruelty is the last fashion in NYC, China, Indonesia, New Zeland, because it is a "decoration fruit". If you want more information take a look in this site :
http://www.bonsaiwatermelon.com/bkmethod.html
and how the babies are put into a glass bottle in
http://www.bonsaiwatermelon.com/gray.html
and
http://www.bonsaiwatermelon.com/bnw.html
We are making a list to send to Fruit Protection Association in USA and Mexico, and to TV news, to stop this. We are very thankfull for your help and we ask you to send this e-mail to everybody that love water melons and respect the LIFE, so put your name in the end of this list, and copy this e-mail and send.
Those watermelons looked more like cubical to me. There wouldn't be much point in buying a square watermelon...
These cubic watermelons look rather like they use Illegal Bansai Kitty Technology...
It's a perfectly cromulent word.
For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
This isn't going to be the standard "I submitted the Doh is in the OED story two days ago and it got rejected" whine. I mean, I did submit it two days ago, but when I did it, I also included this story about the new Simpsons DVD box sets. So this whine also educates and informs.
Ok, I know I've been trolled, but *COME ON*!!!
Isn't it obviously impossible?
The photos are mostly real (hold a kitten up against a piece of glass, take its picture, let it go). But does it even make sense? "Malleable bone structure"?
Why do so many people fail to see the joke?
Tell you what, we'll give Dubya a sense of humour to bring back with him and share...
-- .sig are belong to us!
All your
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
They don't roll around in the shopping cart and crush my square eggs.
I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. BB
Next thing you know, we'll also have square cats.. oh, wait..
Torg, come out of the spaceship. Nothing can stop Torg.
Instead of making watermelons refrigerator-friendly, why don't we make refrigerators watermelon-friendly? This way we could still buy those cheap watermelosn, instead of those expensive square ones!
I can picture it now.... Big round refrigerators filled with watermelons...
Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted by UFOs and Forced Into Weight Loss Programs - -all next week on Town Talk.
I was watching the news tonight, and for some reason the BBC picked up on this square watermelon drivel - guess it was on Reuters or something. Anyway, they show it on the preview, and during the break my dad tells me how they do it - I'd guessed genetic engineering, when it is in fact just allowing the fruit to grow into a square enclosure. So how did he know? He'd done it when he was a kid... in Iran... in 1960. He proceeded to show me photos. Apparently this was a regular practice at the time - what's the deal with us First Worlders catching on so late?
I can't believe there's a news article about these watermelons... First off, no, their not genetically engineered. If the method is the same as the one I know (developed by a guy I know), after the plant flowers and grows into a tiny little melon-wannabe, a clear acrylic case is fitted over it. As the fruit grows, it's forced into the shape of the case. I believe part of the reason the suckers cost $82 is due to the fact that the failure rate is rather high, resulting in deformed looking, very esthetically unpleasant melons. ;-)
The article says "Japanese farmers", but I wonder if it was based on the works of a guy I know. Although I won't mention the name here, he's a self proclaimed agriculture researcher (Japanese), that has been working on these square melons for atleast 22 years now. (That's when I first heard of them, in '79.) He has also worked on things like square eggplants, but I don't know if those ever took off. The tomatoes did, but were not economically viable... go figure. (Actually, I remember we all laughed at the idea back then too, since even in Japan an $82 square melon is more of a joke than a fruit product!)