Review: Tomb Raider

Give director Simon West credit for navigating some tricky ground. Some movies have been greatly influenced by video games -- The Mummy's Return -- and still others were literal, and stinky spin-offs (Mortal Kombat and Super Mario Brothers for instance) but Tomb Raider is one of the most expensive, ambitious and closely watched of this new hybrid-cinematic format -- the game that not only inspires a movie but becomes one. Games have come a long way. The movie is perhaps too faithful to the game that inspired it, raising the question of whether games and films can really mix. And Angelina Jolie is stellar bungee-jumping in those silk pj's.

The cultural context surrounding Tomb Raider is significant, apart from the quality of the movie. Videogames passed films in revenue last year for the first time, and have become one of the world's most significant and ascendant cultural forces, especially in the U.S. and parts of Europe. Hollywood is scrambling to catch up.

It was so predictable that Tomb Raider would get trashed by most critics, as it has, that the producers didn't even have the guts to screen this movie for critics in advance. That was a mistake. They have nothing to apologize for. Tomb Raider is great, silly fun. Despite all the media yowling about violence in the movie, there really isn't much. There's hardly a drop of blood in the movie, and the shooting and kicking are cartoonish, not explicit.

Tomb Raider is by no means the best, most challenging or most creative video game, but it is one of the world's most popular ones: Lara Croft is gaming's first billion-dollar babe and one of its first superheroes. The movie comes closer to the experience of playing the game than watching a film. That's both the best and worst thing about it. Gamers may find it lush, familiar, original and fun. Non-gamers may see it as stupid and improbable.

West takes little time for character development, plunging right into a narrative involving the now-familiar archaeologist/scholar as adventurer. (Why are all of these archaeologists so rich in movies? And so brave?) Maybe there's no other way to explain how they can afford to cavort around the world, digging up musty tombs and crypts seeking keys to the universe.

Lara Croft, who works as a photojournalist to fund some of her adventures, is a Tomb Raider, of course. She lives in a huge English mansion stuffed with geek toys and gadgets (her resident hired-hand geek -- played by Noah Taylor -- builds killer robots to hunt her down and test her combat skills, which are finely honed. He could live in the mansion, of course, but prefers sleeping in a battered trailer parked outside.) In this Indiana Jonesish story, an evil gaggle of mostly white men (a stand-in for the usual NSA villains and cigarette-smoking men), called the Illuminati, meet in Venice and seek the ancient talisman called the Triangle of Light. They've hired bad guy Iain Glen (Manfred Powell) to get it. Lara, still mourning her lost and presumed dead father (Jon Voight), receives Dad's instructions from beyond the grave to stop the Illuminati at all costs, since the Triangle -- effective once every 5,000 years when the planets are in "alignment" -- gives its possessor God-like power. Although nobody even bothers to explain what the Illuminati expect to do with such divine capabilities, we take it on faith they they're not up to Godish standards.

The movie reflects the cavernous, open style of the game. And Jolie has a blast playing the competent, sneering, indestructible Croft. She plays the role for just what it is -- a campy romp into a new kind of cultural form, where heroines bungee-jump in slinky silk pj's. I think she's good here, even if the movie could certainly have been smarter, more coherent, a bit more attentive to details like plot. Jolie wears a perpetual Indie-like smirk, fears absolutely nothing, and shoots faster than any of the zillions of menacing things that suddenly pop up at her.

West et. al. didn't make this movie on the cheap. Tomb Raider spares no expense on special effects or locations, rocketing around the world as Craft and Powell slug it out. As in the game, despite her access to some stunningly sophisticated firepower, Croft prefers the 9mm pistols strapped prominently to her hips, wielding them against robots, commandos, even supernatural creatures of yore. Only in the movie, she never runs out of ammo. There is, in fact, no foe that can't be brought down by enough smoking 9 mm shells. It's interesting how supposedly hi-tech movies like this one and The Matrix are wedded to the contemporary equivalent of the six-gun.

This is what makes Tomb Raider a faithful evocation of a videogame rather than a conventional movie. It's exactly what many gamers will like about it, and many non-gamers won't.

Personally, I'll take a minority view on "Tomb Raider". It's fun and moves like a rocket from the opening shot. The overall effect is visually striking, sometimes even gorgeous, and while the movie lacks even a momentary sense of menace, so does the game that inspired it. Both are about movement, confidence and reflex.

Let's not get carried away. This movie won't show up on anybody's Top Ten list, but I'd recommend seeing it.

Addendum: Jon Likes It. CmdrTaco Hates it SO MUCH. CmdrTaco speaking now, I just couldn't resist abusing my ability to append a paragraph or 2 to this review to tell everyone how horrible Tomb Raider was. For however long this movie was (it felt like 6 hours) I just wanted everyone to die so I could leave. The acting was flatter then flat, but I have a hard time blaming any actor required to say dialog so moronic that any high school kid could have written something that sounded more real. I'll give Angelina Jolie credit for doing a reasonable british accent, but lets be honest, she was hired because she's a flavor of the month. WHich makes it even more sad that the real point of this movie (Lara's T&A) is padded. And padded so much that when packed into her traditionally tight t-shirt, she looks so much like a toy that I just wanted to scream. There is really no love interest in this story (one is hinted at, but its stupid) so there's only one even remotely sexy scene. It fails to do anything.

The action scenes are poorly edited and largely poorly conceived. It's as if the director said "I really enjoyed The Matrix and Crouching Tiger. Let's see how badly I can recreate those classic scenes for my movies". See, the cast of The Matrix trained forever to do just a few simple shots. And the cast of Crouching Tiger had actual skill to begin with. So when the horrible bungee scene comes together, shots are so quick and so poorly assembled that not only is it difficult to figure out what the hell is going on, but it looks exactly like what it is: A cheap knock off.

Ok, so they didn't have punchy dialog. And so the action scenes were derivative and poorly assembled. The effects are good, right? Oh don't I wish. A few effects are passable, but for the most part, I felt like the effects were of the same caliber that one might see on a syndicated cable sci fi show. Obviously computer animated effects are everywhere. The dramatic finale occurs on a set that looks like it was stolen from The Dark Crystal, but with a lame looking CGI bubble in the middle.

The plot? Well the illuminati are involved (of course) but we don't really see any of them. But don't worry, they don't make sense. All that we know is that the dude responsible for finding the triangle of zinthar (oh wait! thats South Park. Oh wait! you should watch that instead) is a jerk. Well they're going to rescue those triangles because they have power or something. Good thing Lara's got notes coming from her dead old man, and she is such a genius that she just knows how all the traps work in the tombs. But thats her job. She is a Tomb Raider. Apparently this is a title that goes on Business Cards. Cast members refer to her as The Tomb Raider. It falls so flat it makes me want to scream. Anyway, Lara uses her psychic powers to figure out all the traps and secrets, and then she shoots the hell out of zillions of bad guys (be they human, robot, or stone monster) and escapes with only a few scratches. Which are magically healed by the countless friends that her father (who apparently was more influential then the whole rest of the illuminati having left behind clues, ghosts, and friends to help his beloved daughter on her quest. Never mind that some of them were born after his death. He's a magic man).

So, in summary. This movie was absolute crap. Avoid it like the plague. Every nickel you give to this movie is a nickel more that they can use to justify another moronic brainless badly scripted badly acted shoddily assembled knockoff crapfest. Or worse, a Sequel. Run in terror. Please.

Comments

i figured out katz

[Anonymous Coward]

Personally, I'll take a minority view on "Tomb Raider".

Anyone else notice this line in pretty much all Katz reviews, positive or negative? I think he feels comfort in knowing that his tastes are different from the 'masses'. Actually, I think he reads real reviews of movies before going to see it to determine the general media appeal of the movie, then decides he will do the opposite of them, whether that is to like or hate it. I can't figure out if that is his plot, or if he tries to guess what the Slashdot readers thought and appeal to them. I figure that can't be it because every review (and does anyone ever actually comtemplate how low a person's career has sunk when they are writing Sunday morning movie reviews for _SLASHDOT_???) gets knocked on by practically everyone here. I have not seen the movie, but this review hardly made me want to. Its target demographic is much younger and much more male than myself. It also seems that some weeks, "mindless fun" as Katz so eloquently puts it is just fine (this week), but not other weeks (Mummy Returns). Anyway, do NOT see this film please, Taco's review seemed honest and funny enough. If he doesn't like it, NOONE will. (except katz apparently)

Stop picking on poor Angelina's chest

[Dixie_Flatline]

Listen, she's a 36C, which would have cut it, in my book. They gave her a padded bra, which made her a 36D (one cup size short of the 36DD that Lara Croft supposedly is...which I think is crap. She's way bigger than that.)

In any case, I agree with Taco. The movie was a great big bag of ass. It wass ass-tastic. Ass-alicious. It was composed almost entirely out of ass. One could say, even, that it was RIFE with ass.

And not the good kind, either.

Re:British Accent

[general_re]

Don't take it personally, man - if it's not a New York or California accent, Hollywood is going to butcher it. For some reason, contemporary actors and actresses are under the impression that Foghorn Leghorn is an accurate representation of a Southern (US) accent. Just go rent Cape Fear to listen to DeNiro doing what is probably the worst assassination of a Southern accent in the history of film.

They can't even pull off regional accents from their own country - yours is going to be a total loss, I'm afraid...

At least Chris Barrie was in it!

[Mr. Flibble]

I admit that I was pleased that Chris Barrie (A.K.A "Rimmer" from Red Dwarf) played the part of the butler. Barrie is an awesome actor, unfortunatly it does not show in this movie, as he is basically playing Rimmer again.

I have played all 3 Tomb Raider games, and I can say Katz is correct. This is a rehash of the game. I felt myself looking for a controller to move Angela Jolie around... (Now thats not a bad idea...) If you have not played the games, then this movie will stink. In fact it DID stink, but I enjoyed it because I have played the games. I would reccomend you check it out on video, not the theater.

In summary, there is no plot. There is lots of action (with no consequence) there is expensive computer animation that, unfortunatly LOOKS like computer animation. There are more rounds fired in this movie than in all the Robocop and Rambo movies combined - yet no human ever seems to get hit...

Jolies accentuated padding is actually obvious, as is the patch that covers her "billy bob" tattoo. This movie is all about T&A and action. And that is it.

I would say that the only thing I liked about was Chris Barrie. Its good to see him get more exposure as an actor.

The whole irony to this is that the first Tomb Raider Game, actually had a plot, and a purpose. Even the violence inherient in the game made sense. This movie made no sense.

British Accent

[Amanset]

I'll give Angelina Jolie credit for doing a reasonable british accent

Actually I'd give her credit for doing a reasonable charicature of a British accent. As usual the British character in a Hollywood movie has developed that British accent which doesn't exist in Britain.

The problem is that Britain has many quite different accents. They can can change dramatically within 20 miles (my native Warwickshire has no accent even remotely like that of Birmingham, a mere 20 miles away). Time and time again Hollywood ends up with a slightly upper class accent that is far too neutral. If it can't be placed it doesn't exist. When you go to see films like this in Britain it is quite easy to hear the giggling in the cinema - and no they aren't giggling at any jokes.

Hollywood has a long tradition of frankly appalling British accents, from Dick Van Dyke in "Mary Poppins" through Keanu Reeves in "Bram Stoker's Dracula" (quite possibly the worst example in living memory) to modern example like this and Renée Zellweger in "Bridget Jones' Diary". They are dramatically over the top, competely unplaceable or just plain laughable (back to Mr Reeves again there!).

I'm sorry, but people from the US have an idea of what the British accent is. Unfortunatley that accent is usually quite far off the mark. It is very rare indeed that an actor from the US pulls it off - and IMHO this is another case of just not managing it.

speaking on behalf of the Illuminati....

[Bogatyr]

I want to formally protest the blackening of the Illuminati's name by being portrayed as the bad guys in so many movies, openly here in Tomb raider and in thinly-disguised slanders in so many other films and novels. Just because you're a secret underground society, it makes defending your name and good works ever so much harder...ahem, sorry.

Thank god there's no violence!

[bellings]

Despite all the media yowling about violence in the movie, there really isn't much. There's hardly a drop of blood in the movie, and the shooting and kicking are cartoonish, not explicit.

Thak god for this. I think it's really important that movies show a lot of shooting, kicking, and general mayhem, but emphasize that there's no consequences to this.

It really pisses me off, the way Hollywood usually spends so much time emphasizing the shattered lives, broken bodies, and lost dreams that accompany real lethal violence. I'm glad this movie has chosen to take a stand, and make the point that you can shoot people without any blood, much less diminishing the world.

Games I do *not* want to see made into movies

[Salsaman]

Well, it could be worse, just imagine:

Minesweeper : the movie

Solitaire part III.

Snake (featuring a giant anaconda attempting not to bite its tail)

Hunt the wumpus. This would be the worst game film ever made. You'd never even see the wumpus, just empty caves and a wumpus hunter.

angelina jolie

[mod you later]

if you're thinking of just going to to see this for angelina jolie, you might consider just renting foxfire instead because it contains much more porn.

i was angry:1 with:2 my:4 friend - i told:3 4 wrath:5, 4 5 did end.