Slashdot Mirror
ZeRo4 Wins; Quake: The Movie Released
okotauri writes: "ZeRo4 took home his second consecutive Quakecon championship today, beating the rest of the world's top Quake 3 players in the process, and cementing his reputation as the best Q3 dueller in the world today. more info: Quakecon scoreboard." And Escape from the Bastille was also released at the Con - better have high-speed access if you want to download it.
I'm not trolling, so please hold the flames. Is this a JOKE? I'm laughing, but I don't see you laughing.
If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.
When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.
If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with a wooden stakes.
If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But only if you're serious about adopting the vulture.
Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?
If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me, it's not.
For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?
User Friendly sucks it. ~jeff
You really should read this man's posting history -- he insulted a Jewish poster for speaking out against Nazi racism and atrocity. He is
a Nazi sympathiser and has no place on Slashdot which is USUALLY a pretty Liberal site. Clean up Slashdot: ditch the racists.
I often like to hold my feces in as long as possible. It's such a pain in the ass to get up and go through all that effort to take a shit when you can just hold it. This sometimes reminds me of the time when I finally did let one go, it came out as this tiny little ball. It took forever to flush though! I bet that it was so dense, it's gravitational attraction held all the water close to it, so it never went down.
Mmm... At the Drive-In
God damnit I want a response!
user friendly sucks someone moderate down the parent post, which is obviously an unsolicited plug for user friendly, and therefore spam
I once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm." Unless it was just a lawn mower.
A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you: I'm gay."
His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay -- doesn't that mean you put other men's penises in your mouth?"
The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right."
His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around, whacked him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER complain about my cooking again!!"
Jeezus, how sad it must be for one's crowning achievement in life to be the world's best computer game player. Yeah, that'll look good on a resume, who the hell would hire somebody who you know will be spending all his computer time on the job playing fucking games?
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
can the dude write code? winning the quake competition is like winning a bronze medal in synchronized swimming - who really fucking cares?
Wow check out all the 3l33t n4M3z on the scoreboard, Quake players are just soooo cool!
What a bunch of winners!
Really!
If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that.
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
Suck it.
Just testing folks.
You open-source zealots are always talking about how important testing is for software. So, by that logic, the parent post deserves a high moderation.
Please moderate as such.
~jawad
When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.
No one gives a shit about quake becuase quake is a game.
Comparing computer science to playing a video game (a shooter at that) is pretty lame.
I don't guess I've ever been as scared as when I was waiting in the principal's office. Finally he came in and sat down. He didn't say anything, he just looked at me. Then he pulled a copy of Playboy out. "Is this yours?" he said.
"No," I said, "is this yours?" And I pulled out my penis. I guess I wasn't as scared as I thought.
If your web site is a tribute to AOLserver, I think I'll stick with Apache...
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.
"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.
The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.
Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head."
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.
We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town.
CS, wtf! we want something that DOESN'T suck...and to get CS out of the non-suckage range, you need to go waaay back to beta3 and earlier...of course it wasn't balanced then so I say fsck CS!
--AC
First Scat Fetish Post! Suck it b33y0tch! Warm and thick!
I made a big hairy poo
It was a fucking messy mess
I didn't wanna wipe my ass
Because it was stuck to my ass wig
1st pretend I'm PeeWee Herman
Then act like I'm missing a testicle
Bash me in the noggin with a wrench
Then stab me with your butt banana
I couldn't get the globs off my dairy air
It was also stuck in my pubic hair
I got very fucking flustered
So I'll act like a dinosaur and hit you with a chair
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.
I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
I just heard sad news on talk radio - Horror/fiction writer Stephen King was found dead in his Maine house this morning. I'm sure we'll all miss him - even if you didn't read his books you've probably enjoyed one of his movies. Truly an American icon.
Obviously, you haven't been trolling slashdot much. The naked & petrified statue would surely be none other than Natalie Portman, and should have been labelled as such.
~jawad
Penis.
3. Final Fantasy
2. Escape from Bastille
1. Shrek
Good thing it doesn't have region coding...
Buy Hex-Rated Stuff, fight the DMCA!
fp!! whooo doaaag
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"
See topic.
keyboard and mouse fucking ah duh.
You ain't gonna win a quake contest using some fallick symbol joystick or lamepad.
who says geeks even like playing stupid mind numbing video game crap.
Gamer, Lamer, what's the difference...
It's natural. It's logical.
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.
NASCAR?
Luckily for us, the very nature of his lifestyle will keep this loser from reproducing (i.e., pasty-faced virgin dweeb who spends every waking moment in front of his computer instead of {gasp} social interaction with other humans in meatspace)
ya see in order to be a sport it has to meet this little requirement of physical activity. I know all the fat pigs and skinny pencil necks are hoping a sport will come along that doens't require physical activity, but, that ain't gonna happen.
The fact that John Carmack gets 3 blowjobs a night from his devoted army of woshipful losers should be proof enough. Do you really want the admiration of these people? If you think the respect of slashdorks is desirable, you have bigger problems than a lack of recognition. Slashdot makes a point of lionizing the pointless achievements, while ignoring or actually deriding genuine accomplishment.
Quake the movie, heh, since quake games have literally no plot what so ever, this must be one pathetic movie.
You have to be one mega loser to attend a quake championship, nevermind win.
I will dedicate my next round of the banned game Postal, to your god.
Flaming marching bands screaming in agony never tasted so good!
Well, at least you have the time to be L337 and condescending abount the interests of others.
Hooray for you!
sheer suckiness.
I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.
We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
hey-moderators-look-at-this-relevant-portion-of-my -post
tag...
He was overcome by his own fagness. Plus he kept saying dumb things about computer games becoming a "true sport", which made everyone realise he was a total loser fag, and if they paid attention to him, they'd never get laid again.